This morning I told my wife at last. First I served her coffee in bed and gave her a letter. There I explained the basic facts about my crossdressiing and told her how much I love her. After quite a long silence she gave me warm hug that seemed never ending (and I didn't it to stop, either...). And then we gradually started to talk about the issue.
She seems to take it very well, at least at first. I hope it will continue so that it will not be too big burden to her.
Oh, how much I love her!!!
Excellent! You seem to have passed the big hurdle and you did it so lovingly. I am so happy for you that your wife is accepting you for who you are. She must be a wonderful woman, good luck!!
I think a letter was quite a good idea as it gives your wife chance to read it over again , i hope it go`s well for you both .
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne
That is good! I'm glad she is so receptive. I would spend time talking about boundries and groundrules and stick by them so she will feel secure. They give both of you a safe place to play/operate in.
Joni
"Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free" Bob Dylan
Thats wonderful. Take it slow at her pace, when she asks questions answer them. Try not to push let her take it all in and let her lead when and as she is comfortable. She sounds wonderful I am so happy for you.
Living the life I choose!
I am so happy for you, now only good thing can happen.
Congratulations anouk!I hope your situation continues to go well
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] x o x o x o Samantha Girl!!! * remember girls, sexiness is a state of mind!!!
Yay! That was very brave of you. I'm happy for you that you have a kind, understanding wife; and I'm happy for your wife that she has a loving, honest husband.
That was the scariest thing I ever did, but in the end the most rewarding. It was very brave and congratulations. Just a little sugguestion, the ball is in her court now so let her come to terms with it and let her set the boundries for now... And as always keep the lines of communication open.Originally Posted by anouk
I was told that I was "Way out there In left field", but I don't even know where that is.
Jess
Congrats Anouk! It sounds like you handled it very well. I am going to "third" the boundaries comments. I think letting her set some and then you abiding by them gives our SOs a sense of safety. If they can say "I can only handle X" and we never stray beyond that, then they can relax and the acceptance settles in better. In my case, I was surpised at how the boundaries started being pulled back over time as the comfort level went up. Good luck!
A very lucky Gal
Anouk
You are a very brave Gal ,that was a big step , I also I
Trisha
Congratulations. It sounds like you handled it perfectly. I remember coming out to my bride. It was the most terrifying thing I have ever done in my life.
The girls are right. Don't get overtaken by the pink fog and overwhelm her with your femininity right now. I am sure that she has all kinds of thoughts and worries working through her mind right now. You need to be thoughtful of that. Right now she needs to see that although you are now out you are the same person that she married. True acceptance takes time. Give her as much time as it took you to accept your dressing. Make sure you are discussing boundaries and stick to the rules.
You are so brave girl. Now go get a Pedi to celebrate!
See yourself as a soul with a body not a body with a soul" Dr. Wayne Dyer
grat's and good tactic using the letter. I agree with all the girl's above let it sink in then let her come forward with a few bound's and rule's and keep talking when she want's to so she better understand's
Your life is a series of moment's,for each one passed is another one lost.
What a great way to begin the long journey together...
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
Yay! I am so happy it went well. It shows that you and your wife are really more than just a pair. You really do care for each other. Awesome
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Good for you, that's great!!
But just a word of caution for you, The 1st reaction is usually that of shock & what seems as acceptance which it may, but later after it sinks in & she thinks about it more, dont be surprised if she later expresses some anger issues about it, so just take it slow & calmly and give her reassurance that shes the most important thing in your life that you love & care about..
[SIZE=3]Karen[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]I really do have the...Right To Be Wrong.. [/SIZE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkSTG...eature=channel [SIZE=2]and my mistakes will make me strong![/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Just call out my name...and I'll come running...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SxTo...eature=related just lovin classic JT again...[/SIZE]
Thank you for your advice, you are absolutely right. There will be some other reactions to come and I must be ready for thatGood for you, that's great!!
But just a word of caution for you, The 1st reaction is usually that of shock & what seems as acceptance which it may, but later after it sinks in & she thinks about it more, dont be surprised if she later expresses some anger issues about it, so just take it slow & calmly and give her reassurance that shes the most important thing in your life that you love & care about..
Anouk,
It sounds like you handled this very well. I wish the best for both you and your wife.
And many more to take on the path to acceptance Anouk, but congratulations, and I'm sure you are feeling much better today, both about yourself and your situation. You have successfully transferred some of the weight of your "mental burden" to your wife, and that has to be a great relief. Her response is to be commended, but as others have stated, the initial response can, and probably will change as time passes. In my opinion the best thing you can do in the short term is to just be "normal" and let her digest and process the information. You may feel as though you would like to dress up and show her how you look in your other "personna", but I would caution against that unless she asks you to do so. I wish you both the best as you continue your journey forward, one small step at a time.
Suzanne
Transtronaut
You must first find yourself before you can discover your future-
Anouk,
Glad to hear that your wife took the news so well. Just go slow and give her time to digest. My wife and I will be in Helsinki next Sept. with some other CD friends on a cruise and would love to meet you and your wife - my wife is Dr. Peggy Rudd.
Hugs,
Melanie
I love being "gender gifted"! www.pmpub.com
Way to go and it sounds as if your wife is very special. Now just take it slow and easy.
Congratulations Anouk, i think you are very brave and that you have a wonderful wife. I wish you every hapiness in the future.
Susan
congratulations Anouk, am glad it went well for you.
Perhaps your wife would like ti chat with other GG's, if so our FAB forum is brilliant, yes we chat about CDing in there but we also have a laugh and a joke or three about life in general
I allow myself to set healthy boundaries ..... to say no to what does not align with my values, to say yes to what does.
Boundaries assist me to remain healthy, honest and living a life that is true to me
Now I have something more to tell you. Something I would never have believed such things can happen to me.
We had two nervous weeks after I told her. Last monday she was so nervous I got really worried. Then on Tuesday she sent me a phone message: "Come home soon, I want to see you as a woman!" My heart took some extra beats, wasn't that too fast for me...
At home I dressed up and did my makeup and called her to upstairs to see me. She looked at mee slowly and showed her acceptance by hugging me a very long time. Then we talked a lot and she told it would be ok for her if I would go out to bars (even though I'm not ready for that myself...), if I shave my body (without my own suggestion...) and planned to go out with Anouk during our trips abroad. Then she gave me a nice basque with panties she had bought me!!!
I was just amazed, how could that kind of day dream come true...??
Now I have epilated my chest, hands and legs, ironed my wrinkeled dresses and put them openly to my drawer, planned to visit a cd club next week,.... and hugged and kissed her every now and then. I just have to take care of her needs, she may be even too supportative. She still feels hurted because I have not told her, but I hope she will come over it gradually, especially, because she has made some contacts with other crossdresser's wives.
So just now I'm propably the happiest man and woman in the whole world!
How wonderful! I am hoping to do this with my wife sometime in the very near future, so I am inspired by your story. Thank you so much and best wishes for you to have greater and greater positive responses from her. It's sounds as if you got off to a very good start.
warmly, Linnea
Posting Permissions
