Suspicious thoughts

[girlalex]

I have never ever mention anything about the subject of homosexuality or transgendered. I never talked about the nature of either subject like it doesn't exist and somehow it seems like my friends know that somethings not exactly right so on occasions they teas me about being gay and when im trying to deny it its a total hell. its just so embarrassing and i hate when that subject comes up.
and its usually 2 or just one of my friends that does it and everyone else is either watching in silence or they don't care, its a horrible horrible feeling

so i was wondering if any of you encountered similar situation where you thought you were deep in the closet but it almost seemed like your friends or one of your friends was dragging you out or someone in general just knew that something was different.

[trannie T]

The more you react the better the target you make yourself to teasing. When you are being kidded do not reward them by reacting or turn it back on them. Just say something like, "I didn't think you would call me gay after you performed oral sex on me."

[kellycan27]

The more you react the better the target you make yourself to teasing. When you are being kidded do not reward them by reacting or turn it back on them. Just say something like, "I didn't think you would call me gay after you performed oral sex on me."

Just make sure you duck after you say it. LOL

[Frédérique]

I have never ever mention anything about the subject of homosexuality or transgendered. I never talked about the nature of either subject like it doesn't exist and somehow it seems like my friends know that somethings not exactly right so on occasions they teas me about being gay and when im trying to deny it its a total hell. its just so embarrassing and i hate when that subject comes up.

[SIZE="2"]Well, if you are gay, don’t deny it! If your friends are not sympathetic to homosexuals, or people who are merely “different,” get yourself some new friends – there are plenty of fish in the sea that don’t smell, you know. In this day and age, being different shouldn’t be the subject for teasing – it’s sad that boys can be so embarrassingly uninformed. Someone got into their heads when they were young – so much for free thinking. I’ve lived through a lifetime of teasing by my so-called “friends,” and I’ve been outed by loved ones, too – you’ll get through it OK, you’ll see. Right now I would simply weather the abuse without responding – it’ll only make you stronger in the long run. Meanwhile, please be true to whom you are and know that you have better, and wiser, friends here at all times…[/SIZE]

[Phyliss]

I used to get the same sort of grief until I "turned the tables"

To the comments about being gay. I finally answered, "I'm not gay, but I AM really happy, besides, you're NOT my type" It isn't any sort of admission of anything but it did put that person in their place. Especially because I chose the time to give that answer.
There were a few of us gathered together, and naturally this one idiot started in again, which is when I dropped that bomb. He got more grief than I did and hasn't brought up the subject again

[Stephanie Stephens]

I like saying "I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is".

[Kate Simmons]

Maybe it's time for some new friends?

[pallet]

Turn that round to your advantage.

I get it from both males and females... It's turned into a long standing joke now, which is quite funny these days as people refer to me as having a "feminine side" (which is more true than they realise!)

For expample when there's a soppy moment in a film it's usually my right eye which waters first - which is now referred to as my feminine side.

I don't see it as a problem, and all of my friends like the way that I can look at things subjectively from both a male and female standpoint. No one knows that I crossdress, although I find it hard to believe after some of the random comments people come out with.

I've got lots of female and male friends and they all just respect who I am, with the ability to strip down engines, put up walls, play football, and yet still love to shop, give style and beauty advise etc...

I see myself as being able to offer my friends (male and female) the best of everything!

I like having the two sides to my life a lot.

[Stephenie S]

If I had a dollar for every time I have heard or read that disclaimer, "I'm not gay but . . . . . . ", I would be a wealthy woman.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Sally2005]

You just have to respond with humor so you won't be cast out of your peer group, but at the same time pull the cowards in to the place they are scared to go and they will never bother you again.

Some friends of mine, once were talking behind my back... I didn't hear all the details, but one said something like...he is not gay is he?... So I just loudly said "No, I'm not. I am married and have a kid...not that there is anything wrong with being gay though" They laughed and said, see he's not... I almost thew out a comment about crossdressing on halloween, but thought better of it. These are my 'redneckish' friends who just would not get it.

[AlisonRenee]

I would venture a guess that most of us are no strangers to ENORMOUS GUILT feelings anyway, so it may be easier to take someone's off-hand comment more personally than it may have been intended. That probably opens a whole new door.

[nvlady]

Nobody's perfect, but an almost perfect response to the teasing would be "Well if anyone around here wants to know who's gay and who's not, you're the first person they'd ask".

[Karen564]

I like saying "I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is".

Great comeback!!!

[Blaire]

"Are you looking for a date? I'm free Saturday."

[Deborah Jane]

I've normally found that the person who starts these sort of comments has the most to hide and is trying to take any suspicion away from themselves.

Next time this person starts on you say..."You seem to know a lot about gays, etc...What are you hiding?"

[Ruth]

You said these were your friends.
Think about what Denise said. With friends like these, do you need enemies?

[girlalex]

thanks for all the help. at least i have some insight now on how i can through a come back that will shut them up.

[sherri52]

If they are talking about you in this manner, Are they truly your friends. They say you only hurt the ones you love and with friendships it is usually your best friend that gives you a hard time. That friend doesn't bring on the hurt in front of others.

[carolinoakland]

As a transwoman the first question I get usually is " So, how long have you been gay?"
To which I reply... " Um, technically, not until after the operation." I love watching their eye's spinning! Carol

[Diane Elizabeth]

Why are you calling them your friends if they are teasing you that way?

[girlalex]

well most of them are not really my friends anymore since i live in a different state. i talk to them once in a blue moon over the phone but thats about it.

[johnboy23]

Best thing to do is joke back about them being right and explain what you do. If you deny it until there is no denying left and all you can say is shut up then you will be stuck in an uncomfortable situation. I have been there its not fun but just believe in yourself and joke back. Since your not its ok to joke about it and even if you were its still ok to joke about it.

[sometimes_miss]

O.P, I feel your dilemma. Been in that spot often. There's no simple answer.

I've normally found that the person who starts these sort of comments has the most to hide and is trying to take any suspicion away from themselves.

Not necessarily. The male world is one of a constant 'pecking order' of who's the alpha, who's next, etc all the way down the line. Guys who make comments questioning someone's sexuality, trying to put down another person are usually just trying to move up the line a step. Although, it sounds like the 'line' is one of creeps anyway. Still, we're often stuck in social/work situations where we don't get to choose the group we have to deal with. OP, if you've moved away, all I can do is suggest jettisoning those toxic relationships.

thanks for all the help. at least i have some insight now on how i can through a come back that will shut them up.

Or if they imply that you're gay, you can always come back with the juvenile return, 'Yo momma/sister/girlfriend didn't think so last night!'.

Maybe it's time for some new friends?

Absolutely, but I've also found it's much harder to make new friends as I've gotten older. I'm sick of the constant one upsmanship of male to male friendships, and women tend to fall into few categories; ones that I find physically repulsive that once are friends, want to date me and there's no easy way to dissuade them without hurting their feelings, and those who I would like as friends and wouldn't mind as something more, but won't befriend me because they feel I'm only interested in being something more than friends. The rest are all 'coupled up', and not available.

[Tess]

Or if they imply that you're gay, you can always come back with the juvenile return, 'Yo momma/sister/girlfriend didn't think so last night!'.

I'd say you grew up in my era only it wasn't gay then but queer. Calling each other queer was only one of several ways to slander each other. We were equal opportunity teasers with no one being singled out more than another. I probably caught more than my fair share because I was slightly younger then the rest of my friends. Having a quick wit mitigated most of this stuff.

[MsJanessa]

best reply if someone teases you about being gay is to say "Sorry, youre out of luck"