Someone Asked Me About My Rubber Band Today

[Danielle Gee]

Hi Girls: I wore my rubber band on my left wrist today,and guess what? One of my co-workers asked about it. Here's how the conversation went...

B - "Why do you have the rubber band on your wrist for"?
D - " I'm using it to remind me of something"
B - " What"?
D - "I'm trying to quit drinking"
B - "Oh yeah, they signify other things too"
D - "Like what?"
B - "I don't remember now"
D - "Well if you remember be sure and fill me in"

I googled "Wearing a rubber band on the leftt wrist" just to be sure it had no other meaning (it didn't)

So what do ya think Girls...Is he one of us (What are the odds?)

[NathalieX66]

So what do ya think Girls...Is he one of us (What are the odds?)

A crossdressers.com forum lurker, probably an unregistered one?
Anyone who knows about the particular significance of rubber bands *could likely* have been here......Hmm, et tu Bruté? .....Probably not, as the odds would have it.
But if so, such thing demonstrates the depth of closet cd'ers, and those who are unwilling to disacknowledge thier own tendencies. I bet there are people you might know that perused through websites like urnotalone.com but would never admit it to their wives all the way to their deathbeds. That's why CD'ing is such a mystery.
As for me, I'm gonna go to a multiple birthday party this weekend, with rubber band, and I'll test the waters there...especially once the party is inebriated.

[Sarah Doepner]

Personally, I think the odds were fair to partly cloudy that the other person had a clue. Also it sounds like you were both just a little reluctant to put a name on what you had brought to their attention. It may be a good idea that if we are going to wear something to identify ourselves as crossdressers that when someone asks about it we be willing to admit it. We can test the waters, but eventually have to jump in.

[Shelly Preston]

I think if the knew they would not have asked WHY

They would have made a comment like "that's unusual wearing a rubber band" and continued from there

[Lorileah]

Wait a minute. Isn't the idea of the rubber band to let people KNOW what it means? I thought that instead of being some secret society the rubber band was to help educate. Here we are back to hiding and making up excuses again.

[Alaceann]

Wait a minute. Isn't the idea of the rubber band to let people KNOW what it means? I thought that instead of being some secret society the rubber band was to help educate. Here we are back to hiding and making up excuses again.

Good point

[kathyw]

i s heights arearry girls i wore one and dibnt see asoul. killeen.harker

[AmberLynn]

I did see one,older lady in the grocery store bagging her food. I noted she was Enfem from her adams apple "was very notable if your looking for it" she new she had been read,and slightly raised her long sleeve to reveal a band maybe she was a lurker as i have never seen her before, I smiled winked and did the same and left it was so awsome

[Kate Simmons]

Sounds to me something like : he knows, I know he knows, he knows I know he knows, I know he knows I know he knows...you get the idea. Easier just to ask, no?

[linnea]

Good point

I think that's it's a good point too.

[NathalieX66]

Wait a minute. Isn't the idea of the rubber band to let people KNOW what it means? I thought that instead of being some secret society the rubber band was to help educate. Here we are back to hiding and making up excuses again.

Yeah, except there are certain people that I don't want them to know.....like my employer and co-workers, for instance. I value their trust in me too much ,and I like them too much...so giving them an explanation as to why I crossdress isn't worth it.
The dichotomy here is that if you wear the rubber band for the purpose of outing yourself (short of dressing in public), then you have the burden of explaining yourself.
My friends and other people, I don't care if they really know or not. They know me too well anyway, and know that I'm prone to this side of me.
I wear mine in my grocery store all the time, particularly when there's a full-timer that shows up frequently. Only problem is I doubt she reads this forum. Why don't I dress en femme in the grocery store? because my boss lives in the same town.
I'ma actually more interested in the reaction of the staff and other patrons.

[Stormgirl]

When I think of rubber wrist bands, I think of something this:

http://store.thecompletebear.com/raprwr.html

I haven't seen anybody wearing any kind of rubber band on their wrist today though. Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance so I was out on the hunt seeing if anybody else was wearing one.

[sherri52]

If your going to wear the band, fess up to it's meaning.

[Aeval]

Wait a minute. Isn't the idea of the rubber band to let people KNOW what it means? I thought that instead of being some secret society the rubber band was to help educate. Here we are back to hiding and making up excuses again.

I see your point and I understand where you're coming from Lorileah, but for me, (someone who's still learning about this side of themselves) I see it more as of a way to connect with others that may be going through the same things I'm going through. That doesn't necessarily mean that I'm ready to tell (or educate) the world just yet...

I don't know about anyone else, but just the thought of finding another person out in the world wearing a rubber band makes me feel like I'm a part of something special.

Then again, maybe I'm just feeling a little hormonal right now...

All that being said, I hope I do run into someone like you out there LL. Meeting someone in real life who could educate a newbie like me would be a real blast!

[Lorileah]

I see it more as of a way to connect with others that may be going through the same things I'm going through.

then why lie to that person and say it isn't what it is? C'mon, either you're in or your out. You can't have it both ways. Don't wear the symbol if you aren't going to wave the flag

[rachelgirlnw]

I wonder if any office supply stores put it together why they were selling more colored rubber bands this week... and all to men!

Probably not a big enough data point for anyone to notice unless they dress (or lurk) themselves.

[lavistaa62]

If many of us here (what is it, X% of the population?) purchased multi-colour rubber bands it likely would show up on modern systems. Any sort of a blip- that's what we pay all the money for. The systems and buyers are not there to question why- they would look for a similar trend the next couple of days, the same day next month and then again next year. Boom- a trend and you could then count on a slightly larger (market targeted) increase in the purchase order or more likely a few cents extra at the till. Little bit at at time, that's what it's all about.

[sterling12]

This is a very new idea! Just started this year, so if you didn't see anyone, if you weren't acknowledged, don't be surprised; and learn to be show some patience! It's going to take a while for this idea to take hold, (if it ever does) and we are going to have to try it again next year, and the next year, etc., etc..

For our curious originator of this thread. I would assume nothing! You had a very innocent conversation, and rubber bands on wrists do represent a lot of different causes and ideas. Maybe not as many as The Ribbons on The Lapels, but you get The Idea.

If your co-worker is hinting around about being "that way," wait for him to further open up channels of communication. If it's a genuine attempt to reach out to you, he will do it again. The second, or third time he gives you a "hint," then The Inference would be unmistakable.

Yes Ladies, I think the Purpose of this year's event was to open up friendships and open channels of communication among transfolk. I'm not so sure it required everyone to immediately "out themselves," to prove how committed they are. It took generations for Gay People to "come out" in large numbers. Let's give our Sisters a bit of breathing room to make their own decisions.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Frédérique]

That's why CD'ing is such a mystery.

Also it sounds like you were both just a little reluctant to put a name on what you had brought to their attention. It may be a good idea that if we are going to wear something to identify ourselves as crossdressers that when someone asks about it we be willing to admit it. We can test the waters, but eventually have to jump in.

[SIZE="2"]If someone asks me what my meaningful rubber band means, I would tell them, but it all depends who I’m talking to. If an artist asks me, I’ll explain things to them, in detail, without reservation. If a woman asks me, I’ll look into her eyes and try to guess what her level of tolerance or acceptance might be. If a gun-toting, beer-drinking male wearing a feed cap asks me, I won’t fill him in on my little secret – not because I’m afraid of him, but because it’s just not worth the time. Pearls before swine, after all. Come to think of it, I don’t think many males would notice a detail of one’s appearance – this is a bone of contention for some women, but, in many cases, they’re stuck with the choice they made. That being said, I’m just not extroverted or exhibitionistic enough to throw my secrets at the feet of others – they’ll just step on them, and I’ll feel like I’ve done myself a disservice. Better to keep secrets, much like the Freemasons, but coded wristwear is a nice touch, just part of the mystery of crossdressing… [/SIZE]

[EveMarie]

A crossdressers.com forum lurker, probably an unregistered one?
Anyone who knows about the particular significance of rubber bands *could likely* have been here......Hmm, et tu Bruté? .....Probably not, as the odds would have it.
But if so, such thing demonstrates the depth of closet cd'ers, and those who are unwilling to disacknowledge thier own tendencies. I bet there are people you might know that perused through websites like urnotalone.com but would never admit it to their wives all the way to their deathbeds. That's why CD'ing is such a mystery.

We are not so unique here. I know of (and belong to) a few other "CD" style websites that have mentioned the wearing of rubber bands on the wrist on certain days.

But whatever… I wear a black hair band on my left wrist (can't find a plain rubber band anywhere in this house, and the stores all use colored ones for their flowers of veggies, and such. I know already the AM at my local DD is gay and has noded to me when I go in for my morning coffee and muffin

[Kathy_G]

Folks in the UK may have caught last evening's "Weakest Link" on BBC television (Friday 20th). One of the contestants wore a band on his left wrist. He told Anne Robinson it was an Oxfam band, but was it?

The following link will hopefully take you to a recording of the program:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00j4fj9 (it expires on November 27th). The discussion about his band starts at 24:18. She ragged him a little about his being 'camp' and I wonder whether she was aware of our Friday Rubber Band thing.

[Barbara918]

I dunno -- I've always sorta suspected she was one of us anyway.

[Aeval]

then why lie to that person and say it isn't what it is? C'mon, either you're in or your out. You can't have it both ways. Don't wear the symbol if you aren't going to wave the flag

I would not lie, but if I was asked by someone who I knew wasn't tolerant of anything beyond his/her own personal level of normalcy, then a simple "I'm showing solidarity" will have to do.

Like I said, I'm can't ask someone to understand something that I'm still trying to come to terms with myself...

Maybe someday...

[flatlander_48]

then why lie to that person and say it isn't what it is? C'mon, either you're in or your out. You can't have it both ways. Don't wear the symbol if you aren't going to wave the flag

I understand what you say, but it is still necessary to be thoughtful about to whom you out yourself. There is a lot of seriousness behind the old phrase "Loose lips sink ships.". It isn't that different for us. While many people may be friendly, not everyone is your friend and holds your best interests.

Plus, it may also be true that you don't want to inject certain pieces of information into certain relationships: such as between managers and subordinates, with in-laws, etc. Even though they might not do anything directly, there can be a change in how one is perceived based on certain information such as CDing, being gay and many other things. How we think and form opinions is not always rational and conscious.

One thing I think is very important. Always try not to put people in tough situations because their behavior may be unpredictable. It is still necessary to pick and choose who knows what about us. In the case of wearing the band, you either don't wear it and no one knows anything or wear it and be prepared to deflect questions that you don't want while simultaneously trying to cultivate relationships that could be useful. I didn't say that it was easy, but it is often the reality.

[Danielle Gee]

then why lie to that person and say it isn't what it is? C'mon, either you're in or your out. You can't have it both ways. Don't wear the symbol if you aren't going to wave the flag

Your absolutly correct Lorileah, I just misunderstood the rules of this little game. I thought it was so we could identify each other, not "Out" ourselves to every member of the general population who asks.

So the bugle player is playing taps....The flag is now down the pole and being folded....The general has ripped all the symbols from my uniform. " Never disgrace us real CD by wearing this symbol again" says the General . I'm standing with eyes downcast, mascara running down my cheeks.

Ps: the I've stopped drinking story wasn't a lie