Are you a blender?

[Mirani]

There are many threads asking the question "Do I pass?"

IMHO few of us "pass" as in totally perceived as female. However, it is not my goal to "pass" as above.

My SO has taught me to aim at "Blending". Mixing in with the world as me without causing a wake (as follows a boat in the water), without causing a stir, just part of existence like everyone else.

I believe I succeed nearly all the time. When I don't succeed then it would appear that people keep their comments to themselves or wait until I have gone - that works for me.

Of course, some of us like to cause a stir and announce our presence and like the attention - well that's great! But I suppose you aren't seeking to pass either!.

So, guys and gals, I suggest we make it easier on ourselves and dress and behave so as to blend in rather that aim at the Nirvana of passing!

Just sharing my view. Feel free to agree/disagree but I am NOT saying anyone SHOULD do it my way or that my way is THE way.
I still believe in each to his/her own way.

[Paula Siemen]

I totally agree. I fantacise of passing completely, but down deep..or really not so deep, I realise that I still look like a guy in a dress with make-up and heels on. That's ok too, I guess, as long a I don't feel that I'm making a sectacle of myself. To be able to dress as a woman, and act as closely like a woman, and be treated appropriately like a woman, is the best that I can hope for. And, honestly, that is usually how it is when I am out in public or out shopping. Its been a while since I've felt intimidated due to someone making comments, point, laughing or whispering around me. I've learned to handle those situations with a smile and sometimes a wink. Being out as Paula is still a terrific turn-on for me and I totally enjoy it every chance I get.

Happy Thanksgiving,
Paula

[Faith_G]

Blending is certainly what I aim for when I walk out the door. I've never been a person who wanted to be "different" and attract attention to myself, which is why it was so hard for me to step outside the closet.

Passing is an unrealistic goal for me, so why set myself up for disappointment? I'm sure everyone who takes a close look at me realizes that there's a male body in those clothes. It's enough for me if they don't make a fuss about it. I'm thrilled if people I interact with address me as "miss" or "ma'am" or refer to me using female pronouns (I surpassed my goal!) but I don't feel like a failure when somebody addresses me as "Sir".

Mirani, how was the book you're reading in your avatar? It looks like one of those books that has a lot of characters but not much of a plot...

[Marcyme]

That too is my goal. To be true to me, by showing MY gender but not be "in your face" about it. I am not a woman, nor do I want to be. But that does not mean I can't have femenine aspects to my appearence that represent me.

[Karren H]

If I wanted to blend..... I would wear women's jeans!!! Ekkkkk.. No way I don't blend..... I'm typically the only person in a store in a dress..... and that's the way I like it... Crossdressing for me is about looking feminine.... may be my opinion of feminine but but then again it's my "hobby"..... I refuse to try to look like the typical woman who dresses more like a man than I do.....

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I'm a blender (not the kind that makess margaritas ). I just do my best to look female. I agree with Karen abou wearing jeans. I like jeans, but if I'm going to present as female, I want to wear a skirt or dress. Although I do wear skorts in the summer.

[Lorileah]

Not a blender. I get ignored too much in everyday life. Lori is the opposite of the male me. She wants attention and she wants people to notice her, she makes friends and she is totally relaxed in social situations. She is an uncontrollable flirt.
Dr Jekyll and Ms Hyde. I do see those lines blurring though as I have now learned that there may not be a tomorrow to do what you WANT to do today ( there is always tomorrow for work and chores).

I think this relates to the fact that as of this moment I don't want to really be a girl either. If I was a TS things would be different

[Mirani]

. . . Crossdressing for me is about looking feminine.... may be my opinion of feminine but but then again it's my "hobby"..... I refuse to try to look like the typical woman who dresses more like a man than I do.....

To misquote (should that be Miss Quote) Mr Gump, "Feminine is as feminine does"

I suppose its about each one of us being comfortable as who we feel inside showing on the outside. Perhaps Karren, you are one of the happy ones to occasionally stand out and to hell with what anyone else thinks? All power to you for your confidence and chutzpah!

I also am not necessarily saying that one should present as a "typical" woman - actually I'm not saying anyone SHOULD present in any way. Just offering a view that for some of us, we may feel better about ourselves if we blend rather than make a statement or be "individual".

[flic]

Blending in is something i'd happily settle for, just for people to take me as I am would probably be enough to make me happy. I'd dearly love to pass 100%, but am realistic enough to know that it won't happen,,,,sooo i'll settle for a little bit of respect and the odd smile thrown my way!
x flic x

[victoriamwilliams1]

I am too tall! Even though at the store I did see a woman who was about 6'4" and wearing heals. Did I mention she was one of the food testing people Being near 7ft I dress to be accepted and for the most part I am. It think it is about how you dress at the time of day that works. I have seen women in skirts and heels in the afternoon. I have never seen a woman in a cocktail dress in the afternoon.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

I just go out to be Stephanie...nothing more or nothing less...

Do I pass or even blend? Well maybe at 100 feet I'll pass or blend depending on that person's eyesight at 3 feet, I suspect my passing or blending is much less unless I'm sitting next to Elmer Fudd. Do I care???? Not really, because if I did I probably not bother or want to venture out in the public and risk being redicule or scorned for being "one of those".

I just want to go out and do the girl thing...be it socializing at a club, shopping for shoes, clothes etc...or just being out and being Stephanie...nothing more or nothing elss.

Now if someone has a problem with that then it's just that...their problem and not mine because I'm not all upset by me being out there as a female...

So I neither need to blend or need to pass...I just need to look the best I can and as normal as a female as I can be....and if I do then it will be a fun day for me....

[docrobbysherry]

I've lived my ENTIRE life as a "blending", "boring" appearing, man.

Sherry is a show off, who seems to have no interest in compromising her looks to suit others!

[2B Natasha]

Since you are defining blending as trying not to draw attention to myself. Then yes. I try to blend as much as possible. Try to blend into the situation that I am walking into. I suppose I fail thought on a number of parameters. I dress a bit edgier then most women do. That's not really hard when you look around at all the women wearing sweats, jeans that look like they pooped in there shorts ( is it really so hard to buy a pair of pants that fit GG? ) and heaven forbid and outlaw someday, PJ's outside the house. What, to hard to put on a a peasant skirt? I wear to much make-up. as most women wear very little, unless there out clubbing. There is nothing I can do about my height, so I just wear the shoes I feel like wearing and am just taller then some women.

[sfwarbonnet]

Yes, the key is to blend-in in public. Dress for your age – like don’t wear a mini-skirt or show cleavage in public if you’re over 40 – GG’s just don’t do it unless they’re hookers!

[Karren H]

Yeah!! I totally agree.. No one should do anything just because someone else does... Secept wear fem jeans!! No one should do that! Lol. J/k.... Ya never know.... One of these days when I run out of things to do I just might try the blend in game.. Might be kind of fun.. And I love a chalenge!! . Now back to building a new railing for the stairway...

[Rachel Morley]

I must admit I'm not one of these people that likes a lot of attention, so for me blending (into the background) is definitely something I want to do when I'm out in public. I just want to be treated the exact same way other women are treated. I don't particularly care what people truly think of me just so long as they don't tell me to my face or let me know by their behavior towards me .... that is unless they approve, then they can tell me if they want to

[windycissy]

It's all about blending for me too...my guy life is fairly tense, so there's nothing better than slipping into a denim jumper and tights and blending in with the crowd

[charlie]

It is not fun for me to wear anything but a skirt or dress, heels and full makeup. That is just not blending today. So I'll just not blend and try and be as feminine as possible when I'm out and about.

[Alaceann]

I hav'nt ben out in public yet, but if I ever get the chance I'd like to think that I would blend in.

[kellycan27]

Blender? hell no!.......LOOK AT ME! Up close and personal....right in your face.

[jenna_woods]

yes I agree with you, myself I am a blender, I try to dress so I don't stand out, although I don't dress as casual as most women do.

[carolinoakland]

Meh, the secret to blending is...." Age apropriate." unfortanately it sometimes conflicts with my female perogitive to wear something " Because I WANTED to!" Thank gosh I own a mirror when that happens. Carol

[sfwarbonnet]

See my post today (11/27) in the CDs in Wheelchairs thread

[AllieSF]

Passing, blending in, age appropriate and all those other clssifications that we use to try to define what we do, are just that classificatoipns to help clarify. So, do I pass, blend and dress age appropriate? I do not really know. I dress to have fun and interact with others, primarily those in the real world. I try to look the best that I can wearing things that "I like" and not what someone else thinks I should wear based on my age or the venue. I do not have a problem with denim, but haven't got to the jeans pants, yet! I am too busy trying to wear out on the town at least once all the skirts and tops that I have. Based on my inventory, it will probably be a long while before I get to slacks and jean pants.

[msginaadoll]

I definitely try to blend in. I personally find it exciting and a challenge to try to figure out the right outfit for the occasion. I want something feminine that looks nice on me wherever i go-but dont feel I have to always look glamorous(Not that I ever have). I may never pass but acceptance or even ignore ance is ok.