"I am a crossdresser"

**DiannaRose** · 11-30-2009, 08:27 PM

I actually said those words to a stranger today, in that order: "I am a crossdresser". Okay, so it was the woman with whom I was setting up an appointment for marriage (and other) counseling, but it was nonetheless oddly satisfying and somehow freeing to actually be able to say it, out loud, to another person.

Okay, technically, I did say it to my wife the day I came out to her, but that was a bad time and she told me she never wants to hear that word again, so that was more a closing than an opening.

I AM A CROSSDRESSER!!

**tonixd** · 11-30-2009, 08:29 PM

*like*

**AllieSF** · 11-30-2009, 11:29 PM

I am trying to tell more people what I am when having casual conversations with others or with sales agents. It is not easy, but the more that I say it, the easier it becomes for me. I wish you the best with your counseling. It is not easy, but make sure you open up completely, because that is what they are there for and exactly what you are paying for.

**Karren H** · 11-30-2009, 11:36 PM

Ya want a medal or a chest to pin it on? Or both?

Disclaimer - the above statement was ment in jest.. Aka jockularity.. Ha ha..

**trannie T** · 11-30-2009, 11:39 PM

Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

Ya want a medal or a chest to pin it on? Or both?

Disclaimer - the above statement was ment in jest.. Aka jockularity.. Ha ha..

Does it come with matching earrings?

**Lorileah** · 11-30-2009, 11:40 PM

Congrats Dianna. It was hard I am sure and maybe with time your wife will relax. Even if she didn't like hearing it, she was told. Can't say she doesn't know

**Aeval** · 11-30-2009, 11:47 PM

Way to go, Dianna!

I'll be seeing my therapist this week (for the first time in quite a while) and I'm actually looking forward to telling her that in fact...

"I am a crossdresser!"

I'm in much the same boat as you with the missus, and look forward to talking about my CDing openly, face-to-face with another human being.

Good luck at your appointment!

**VS Fan** · 12-01-2009, 01:01 AM

For the sisters that are still in the closet and are DYING to be able to tell someone (ANYONE)... saying those words out loud to yourself even in the car just might help you. It was only days after I started saying it out loud to myself in the car that I finally had the guts to spill it to my wife.

Try it

VS Fan

**Kerigirl2009** · 12-01-2009, 01:26 AM

I also got to experience that exact statement. Hard to do, but even harder to admit to someone especially the one you love. Therapists are decent atleast mine as I don't feel like I am being judged negatively. I feel that I have held back somewhat with him which I am realizing that is bad so don't hold back and try to learn from their services. Good luck

Vickii* · 12-01-2009, 01:32 AM

Yeah, I don't think I will ever tell a stranger point blank that I'm a crossdresser.

It's not something that normal people like to hear.

**Melinda G** · 12-01-2009, 01:42 AM

I am trying to tell more people what I am when having casual conversations with others or with sales agents.

"Hi. I'm Fred from accounting, and I masturbate". Now, explain to us the difference.

**sandra-leigh** · 12-01-2009, 02:14 AM

Originally Posted by Vickii*

Yeah, I don't think I will ever tell a stranger point blank that I'm a crossdresser.

It's not something that normal people like to hear.

When you are in drab in a women's clothing store and you go up to a SA and say "I'd like to try on this dress", then whether you've already proclaimed yourself, and whether you actually say the word "crossdresser" then becomes just a matter of how the conversation flows.

Telling a stranger that you are a cross-dresser quickly becomes trivially easy if you shop in drab (or stealth). The part that stays difficult for a long time is telling someone who knows you!!

**Frédérique** · 12-01-2009, 02:32 AM

Originally Posted by DiannaRose

I actually said those words to a stranger today, in that order: "I am a crossdresser".

[SIZE="2"]OK, I’d just like to say, “I am a transvestite…”
Can you tell me what the difference is?
You weren’t expecting a spot quiz, were you?

[/SIZE]

Answer: there isn’t any, unless you think you can define the undefinable…

**sheidelmeidel** · 12-01-2009, 04:11 AM

Originally Posted by DiannaRose

I AM A CROSSDRESSER!!

Should this be considered a success or a failure? I surmise that there are more than a few of us out there who find secrecy and anonymity titillating...

**Ballerina** · 12-01-2009, 04:18 AM

It is definitely an interesting sensation to hear those words come from your own self. I also said it to my ex, and my therapist. It's kind of an... odd relief...

**Ellen47** · 12-01-2009, 09:48 AM

Good luck with consuling.
In time it gets easier to say out load "I am a crossdresser."
A steep closer to self acceptance.

Ellen

**nancyish** · 12-01-2009, 10:13 AM

I like to say I'm effeminate but i am a crossdresser.Nancy

**ValerieKay** · 12-01-2009, 12:15 PM

Is there a difference between saying "I'm a Crossdresser" and "its for me, actually" to a shop assistant? Less "in your face" I think.

In the UK, Marks and Spencer staff are taught to be nice to us. Which is good. I suppose. They also employ a number of transsexuals and support them.

They are allegedly overrun with gay men doing the creative stuff (though I am none too sure about the final product...).

**DiannaRose** · 12-01-2009, 02:05 PM

Originally Posted by Karren Hutton

Ya want a medal or a chest to pin it on? Or both?

Disclaimer - the above statement was ment in jest.. Aka jockularity.. Ha ha..

So glad you're here to keep us on our toes, Karren! Funny lady!

All, thanks for the support! It's going to be really, really hard to be completely open during counseling because I've been holding back when talking to my wife. She asks questions of the form "You don't want to shave your legs, do you?" with such a clear need to hear a negative response that I know an affirmative would send her over the edge. (She's barely holding on as it it is.) If she would ask it like "Do you want to shave your legs?" it would be easier to say "I do, but I can live without it for now." Even the "for now" has the potential to push her over.

So keep us in your thoughts and prayers, ladies! We need it. And thanks again for your support and encouragement! I love you all!

Karren...let me know where I can find the chest, and I'll find the medal myself!

**sherri52** · 12-01-2009, 04:28 PM

Yesterday in my store I wore a pair of jeans with pink metalic buterflies on the back pockets. They were the size of the pockets. Is that the same as yelling it out.

**ValerieKay** · 12-01-2009, 05:00 PM

Every Sunday I fly to work.

I always buy stuff at the Boots shop (drugstore). It is always the same girl serving.

I buy Veet, stockings/tights ( v. large), pencil eyeliner, liquid eyeliner, foundation, lipstick, gloss, nail files, body butter, scrub.

.....How many men buy their wife liquid eyeliner??

She smiles, I smile. Happy people.

Last time I got a very long appraising look from a extremely skinny 20 year old behind me in the queue. I smiled, she smouldered in black everything. I was cool under fire. Its getting easier.

**NV Susan** · 12-01-2009, 05:58 PM

Originally Posted by susancdd

Hello my name is Susan, and I'm a crossdresser.

[SIZE="2"]Hi Susan,
My name is Susan also...........and I'm also a cross dresser!!! [/SIZE]

**Rianna Humble** · 12-01-2009, 06:04 PM

Originally Posted by DiannaRose

I actually said those words to a stranger today, in that order: "I am a crossdresser". Okay, so it was the woman with whom I was setting up an appointment for marriage (and other) counseling, but it was nonetheless oddly satisfying and somehow freeing to actually be able to say it, out loud, to another person.

Way to go honey! I know how much courage that took and I'm proud of you.

**Christina2008** · 12-01-2009, 06:22 PM

I'm interested to know if saying "I'm a crossdresser" is an accepted term, I was thinking recently about going shopping and saying to the SA "no its not for my SO it's for me, I'm a crossdresser". I wonder how they would react. Is it becoming more normal/accepted to crossdress?, which I believe it is, or it could be me accepting myself more!

**DiannaRose** · 12-01-2009, 06:38 PM

Originally Posted by Rianna Humble

Way to go honey! I know how much courage that took and I'm proud of you.

I'm finding--especially as I find support and acceptance at places like this--that I'm becoming more and more okay in my own head, so that I actually didn't mind telling the counselor. My wife says that's because I've "normalized" it, but how can I help but feel normal surrounded by such wonderful and caring people as you all here?

It helps, though, that she has been working with LGBT patients for 20 years or so, and that she was recommended to me by a local "sister" for that reason. Even so, yes, I did get a sudden attack of nerves while saying it...it hit me somewhere between "I" and "am".

But I am proud of me too! It felt good!

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