Does your wife/SO accept your CD and if so how long did it take

[AndreaCD1963]

I told my other half after we had been dating for a couple of months. She didn't bat an eye lid - her reaction was "at least you're not an axe murderer". When she finally got to meet and go out with Andrea, her reaction was "it's about time, and thank you for letting me meet her". Ever since then, no big deal. Her ONLY rule is that her kids don't know about Andrea - which does restrict me a bit since we moved in together. Other than that though, anything goes - I dress at home and out (when the kids aren't around), we go out together, we shop together - Andrea even gets Christmas gifts :-)

[MarciManseau]

I met Julie well after I'd gone full time, so she's known me as Marci all along, and says she can't even imagine the other me. I told her the other side of me is dead, and will never come back. She was delighted. I love her so much!

Hugs, Marci

[Allsteamedup]

There are a few things that stick out in you story.
Have you answered any of the questions she asked you? Did you even bother to consider what might have been at the back of why she asked them?
If you are constantly underdressed and in lingerie for bed, when does her husband put in an appearance?
And the cost of all this? You have young children. Can you really justify all this expense and keeping them out of the bedroom and from hugging you in case they feel something.?
Lots of posts here suggest balance but you seem to have lost yours.
And don't take it for granted that she will always be there. Look what you have heaped on her in less than a year.
Do you know what she would like for Christmas?!!

[TabbyJames]

[SIZE="1"]There are a few things that stick out in you story.
Have you answered any of the questions she asked you? Did you even bother to consider what might have been at the back of why she asked them?
If you are constantly underdressed and in lingerie for bed, when does her husband put in an appearance?
And the cost of all this? You have young children. Can you really justify all this expense and keeping them out of the bedroom and from hugging you in case they feel something.?
Lots of posts here suggest balance but you seem to have lost yours.
And don't take it for granted that she will always be there. Look what you have heaped on her in less than a year.
Do you know what she would like for Christmas?!![/SIZE]

Very valid questions and they are all ones that we have discussed, albeit some without resolution yet. I have tried to answer her questions and we talk openly about them, the problem is that some of them don't have an answer yet and I/we are seeking them. I think I know whats in the back of her mind and feel that she is trying to communicate these feelings to me, as I try to understand them. As for Balance, the see-saw goes both ways, life is a balancing act! And yes, I always know what she wants for christmas and see to it that she is both suprised and happy. I have no fear she will be here for the long run, we work together to overcome everything that is thrown at us, this one is no exception.

[Lorileah]

The way I remember it (it was 30 years ago) was walking through Sears and the close out shoes, jute Candies type slides with about a 3 inch heel.

me: Can I have these?

Her: They look a little small.

Me: But they are 3$.

Her: You will have a hard time walking in them.

Me with big puppy dog eyes holding the shoe.

Her: OK but you will not like walking in them.

I still have the shoes, no they didn't fit well, they pinched my toes and I looked like I was on a three day drunk. Worse yet I didn't own a skirt yet so I looked funny in my cut-offs.

After that she would point out a dress or skirt that I might like, didn't buy it very often though because we didn't waste much money. Then over time my underwear morphed and she would buy me panties on sale (now I have so many I really need to throw some out), then she suggested pantyhose for winter, then skirts around the house, giving me first dibs on clothes she was giving away.

She was always confused as to why I liked dressing in these things because she found them uncomfortable and a "requirement" to look feminine, but she never said I couldn't do it. She never asked if I wanted to be a woman, she knew me well enough that wasn't an issue and if I had I think she would have stayed anyway. When her mother moved in and needed lipstick I gave her a tube I never used. My wife just said it is who he is. My MIL is finally tolerating it after 5 years. Had more trouble with her than I even had with my wife. She still calls me ugly and says I am going to hell...She doesn't know I have reservations there

My wife only had one rule, "Do not embarrass me" which I broke a million times in male mode but never in femme.

[suchacutie]

We discovered Tina together the very first time I was ever "dressed", such as it was at that point. We named Tina and have nurtured her together from that first moment over 4 years ago.

It's been quite a ride!

[flic]

My gf has known since a few months into the relationship,,,i think it explained a lot for her at the time. She is a constant support for me and has helped me to accept that this is just who i am,,,,and gives me the support I need when the tg stuff gets a little overwhelming for me. And yes, i know how amazingly fortunate i am,,,it's been a long road, but we're still together 7 years later, so something's gone right! I am eternally grateful to her for finding strength to take me as i am.
x flic x

[DiannaRose]

She still calls me ugly and says I am going to hell...She doesn't know I have reservations there

To the first...Has she seen you?

For the second, everything I've read in your posts here tell me otherwise. You've got a good soul, Lorileah, so I fully expect to be seeing you outside the pearly gates! No, you can't pick the pearls off to make a necklace!

[KarenEdwards]

No. Absolutely, positively, completely not. In a thousand years, the answer would be the same. Earth will not last long enough for her to change her mind!

[Samantha Girl]

The day I told her is a loooong story! But let's just say she was very accepting and had tons of questions. We were on our way home from a trip and she couldn't wait to get home to see my girly stuff. My girl met Samantha that very night and made love to her I am INCREDIBLY lucky! We still have some ups and downs but overall she's completely accepting. Tonight she came home to find Samantha doing her hair and asked when she'd be done. Why I ask. She says "I wanted to know when she'd be ready for some fun!"

I'm sorry you haven't all experienced the same joy. It makes me very sad

[aprilgirl]

My wife is extremely supportive and really enjoys shopping with me in either mode. I told her six months into dating as our relationship grew serious and felt she needed to know. Her initial reactions and feelings were more based on curiousity than anything else. She was'nt judgemental or upset and simply took the information I provided in stride. I showed her photos and my wardrobe shortly thereafter and she promptly went shopping and updated my closet and dresser drawers.

We took things slowly for her to get accustomed, including me underdressing for bed. It was nine months after my indulgence that she had finally seen me fully dressed. She was quite relieved and comfortable with me in femme mode when she realized it was still me.

As far as ground rules go, there is really only one. That is keeping an open and honest line of communication.

[trisha254]

Well I started dating again after many years as a widower, And on the second date I told her about my life style , and to my surpise she said Lets give it a try ,that was over two months ago , I can.t explain the joy I have found with thie lady she as been such a joy and all I can say I,am one luckly gaL

Trish

[rayander01]

My wife is barely accepting at best. She does not understand it and while she has read some post on this site, she still doesn't understand. Has never seen me dressed and has no desire to. At least I can still underdress. Guess I'm better off than some.

Rey

[Blaire]

I've been married for 9 years, my wife has known of my CDing for about 13 of them.

She accepts that this is something I need to do for my well-being. She understands that this isn't really a hobby or a fetish, or anything I can be happy without. She allows me to have my stuff in my closet, on and in the vanity, shoes under the bed. She used to be a little snippy about it, but that's settled down with time. I still try to "get my fix" when I'm away or she is, and thought she'll never say it, I think she appreciates that effort.

I can be dressed when she's around, and have gone out dressed with the right plans in place - that she gets to approve. We'll sit and watch tv or read or hang out together at home dressed or not.

She drew the line at being out and open with the kids and family. It's not a line I'm too interested in flirting with myself yet, and so I have no problems accepting her limits. Relatively speaking, I have it pretty good, and have no desire to rock the boat. I don't really go out of my way to hide all my stuff. My bedroom slippers are fuzzy purple heels, and they hang out in plain sight. The kids like to stomp around in them.

She gets her guy time when she wants it, I get my girl time when I want it. We share, and it's worked out pretty good so far. She just did a closet purge - downsizing in more ways than one - and didn't throw anything away until I got a chance at some of her stuff. I separated it out into no's and maybe's and she figured why not try it on now to better manage the maybe pile. I was going to wait for her to not be around, but went ahead and turned the maybe pile into a yes and no pile.

She's working towards me, and I'm in no hurry to pull her along. When she's got to step back for a bit, I'll wait. She tells me when I'm getting on too much, and I listen. During a recent trip to the mall she pointed out that we were supposed to be shopping for her, so we should really move over to the clothes she's got preference for. I realized that she wasn't getting enough time with us for her. No problem. People say that relationships are about give and take... I'm learning that it's not so much that, but more like give and get given to.

[sherri52]

No for both wives. I've had a lot of great clothes thrown away by both. I get to keep my clothes now.

[fjrpilot]

My wife understand the panties 24/7, was semi ok with me wearing a sports bra while jogging, but absolutely hates full fem.

[tamyracd]

My wife of 26 yrs has known for most of them, but mum's the word she knows it's something i need in my life, she wishes i didn't do it but lives with it. I keep it out of sight maybe some lipstick and nail polish in my drawer in the bathroom some clothes hanging but hidden in my side of closet. She's a great woman and i respect her feelings...as far as her ever accepting it completely i don't think that will ever happen..but i still feel lucky to have what i have...

[Erica2Sweet]

My SO and I met online initially, so she was introduced to my female persona before she ever saw me in boy-mode. That was one year ago this week and now we share a home and are discussing marriage.

[Brandi Wyne]

I have been married for 41 years to the same woman. I have dressed secretly for longer than that. I grew up in the miswestern "Christian" tradition and my wife is also a product of that mind. However, I always craved to be dressed to one degree or another, even though we were both active in the conservative church, etc.

Here we are, all that time later and she is not just opposed to any of it but finds it all "perverted and disgusting". I totally agree that "that" conversation should have happened over 41 years ago; but it didn't. She she came home and found me in panties and I had a pair of pantyhose hanging in our bedroom. I suppose that was the best time for a clean break as I'm sure we would have split and our paths gone separate ways.

She knows I keep smooth all over and it can't be a huge surprise as to why I would do that, if not to look more femme. What would happen if we had the "talk"? I'll let you know when and if it happens.

Mickey

[Claire B]

Within 3 months of Cindy's and mine starting an relationship. I told her that I am a crossdresser. This didn't seem to phase her that much. Over the next several month, together we bought lingerie for her and for Claire. Along with skirts, blouses and dresses. Cindy even helped picking out the best out fits that would suit my build and body style. She even purchased and taught me how to put on makeup. Then she went cold and became unsupportive. Cindy knew that I dressed on Mondays, when the kids were at school and she was at work. And she was just ok with that. As long as she didn't see me dressed it was just ok.
Over the years she noticed quite a change in my personality. I was becoming depressed, because I was trying to withdraw from dressing completely. I was constantly stressed out. She asked me when was the last time that I became Claire. I told her that it had been a very long time. So she asked where my clothing was. I told her that I didn't have any. And so she she went out and without me knowing. Cindy purchased several out fits, lingerie, nylons shoes and etc:. Then one day I was working in the house on a project. She came in from work, and called me up to our bedroom.

[Claire B]

Sorry about the split posting. Computer goof up.
Anyway she had laid out a complete outfit on the bed. And told me that she want me to dress for her. So I did. I must tell you that being Claire again felt wonderful. And to this day, Cindy will not let me go more than 2 Mondays without becoming Claire. Even as I write this I am totaly dressed as Claire from head to toe.

[JulieC]

Sorry about the split posting. Computer goof up.
Anyway she had laid out a complete outfit on the bed. And told me that she want me to dress for her. So I did. I must tell you that being Claire again felt wonderful. And to this day, Cindy will not let me go more than 2 Mondays without becoming Claire. Even as I write this I am totaly dressed as Claire from head to toe.

That's an awesome story Claire. Major, major kudos to your wife!

[lisajd]

My wife caught me dressed 2 years ago, it was scary, but we've made it so far. She doe'nt really like it, but she has come to accecpt it. It's confusing when she says she doe'nt want me to dress, and the next day she'll buy me some girly clothes, good luck hope it works.

[Kate17]

Mine is a work in progress. I have tried to nurture the theme slowly so as not to have her push back. It is hard sometimes because i want to dress all the time. But, my rational self knows the wisdome of patience. My closet is full of Kate's clothes and my wife goes shopping with me. I am in drab. She has not seen me in full make up but I recently started putting on a little foundation before we go out. I wear my earrings and some very light lipstick around the house now ( recent development) but I do not go overboard. We have side by side vanity areas and mine has all kinds of cremes, lipsticks etc. Everynight i do wear some nightgown - can't live with out it.

So it is coming along pretty well. We even started sharing clothes ! I would love to wear make up but i think that is a way off yet. That i am doing a little at a time. I don't think this is being devious. I know she loves me as a human being so I just have to get her over the years of ingrained gender bias - a man is a man etc.

[marisa]

i told the g/f about my much softer side after about 3 or 4 months together. that was almost 2 yrs ago. we've grown very close. she loves the fact she's got a b/f and a g/f all rolled in to one. she even told me a week ago that if i should feel the need to take it to the next level that she would be there right by my side. god i love her. oh, and it only took her about 5 seconds to be accepting.