The question is... can I give up being me? The answer is categorically no! I can certainly stop dressing, but I feel that its the desire to dress that makes you a crossdresser.
The question is... can I give up being me? The answer is categorically no! I can certainly stop dressing, but I feel that its the desire to dress that makes you a crossdresser.
I am only a cross dresser when I don't crossdress!
About Me: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...595#post306595
"I don't want the world to see me, cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am" - Goo Goo Dolls
[SIZE="3"]www.HappyDressers.com[/SIZE] - Where cross dressers go to be happy!
Yes you can. I haven't in ten years after the wife went cold on it. It's no fun, but you can. You can't stop "being" one, but you can stop doing it. You have and make a choice.
Last edited by Bridget Fitzgerald; 12-06-2009 at 09:21 PM.
Do I want to give up crossdressing?
A part of me definitely does, because then I wouldn't have to worry about keeping it a secret from the wife. For a while, it was all I ever thought about, which was another reason I wanted to give it up because it was such a distraction for me. Lately, though, I've chilled out a lot and only indulge once every few weeks. While I'm doing it, I'm thinking that I love it so much and I thank God I can do this, but then when I'm done, I usually wish I didn't have the desire to do it at all... So, to sum up my answer, I don't know!
Do I feel my crossdressing has affected me?
It's definitely affected me. It was an obsession for quite a while, so it's definitely had more negative effects on me than positive.
Why is crossdressing so difficult to stop?
It's difficult for me because it turns me on so much. For me it's purely sexual, not a gender identity issue. I film myself and take photos while I'm dressed up...these days I look at pics of myself dressed up more than actually dressing up. It turns me on quite a bit, and I guess that's the main reason it's so damn hard to stop completely.
Is it still a big secret?
MOST definitely. I've only ever told one person, and I wish I could take it back. Wife still doesn't know, and I pray she never does.
Will you always be a crossdresser?
...Not sure. If something ever happened that my wife and I got divorced and I was single and living alone...then yeah. I would probably be a CD for the rest of my life. If things don't go like that, then I could see it dying out in a few years...then again, I've already been doing this for about 20 years, so if it hasn't died by now....
Would you ever reach out to help others who are crossdressers or transgendered?
Probably not. Not in person, anyway...
One thing I have noticed people say on this forum, and which is true for me, is that the more accepting of yourself you become, the happier you are in "guy mode" as well as "girl mode".
I suppose I could give it up - at least the dressing part, not the mental part - if I really had to. However, since coming to an acceptance, and embracing of my feminine side, I feel more relaxed, happier and less aggressive. My internal conflict has gone away. I am also more interested in looking good in drab, and have found the motivation to lose quite a bit of weight so I think I look better as a guy too. Plus I get a better choice of women's clothes
My wife has known since before we got married, but it is only recently that we have both moved into the "I am what I am" phase (cue for a song?). Other than her, only four close friends know, and all but one of them are people I have told in the last three months. I would say that I have had a positive, or at worst neutral ("Is that it?"), response from all of them.
I actually enjoy going shopping for clothes with my wife now. used to feel resentful when she got to choose stuff I would have loved to get, so I had the typical "bloke looking bored whilst wife shops" attitude. Now that I know we will sometimes look for stuff for us both, I enjoy picking out things I thing she will like too - my taste does not always match hers but I am getting better. This weekend the woman on the makeup counter commented on how nice it was that I was being helpful whilst choosing a lipstick to match my wife's colouring. We both just smiled, but it was fun. It is also fun "critiquing" other people's outfits.
I also enjoy painting my toenails, and though it sounds rather silly, I find I can derive a certain calming effect during stressful situations at work by invoking what my wife and I call "tranny powers", focusing on my (completely hidden) toesI definitely think I am somewhat "female brained" which also helps me with interpersonal skills, and I hope makes me more understanding of other people.
I think we are really lucky, since we get to experience some of life from both the male and female perspective. Most people are stuck with one or the other, so we get double the value out of life!
- Kara
I don't think its possible to stop cding. and if you do stop then sooner or later it would be on your mind again and before you know it you will probably find yourself on this website again asking the same question.
Last edited by girlalex; 12-06-2009 at 08:57 PM.
Contrary to what many have said on this thread, you CAN STOP Crossdressing if you REALLY WANT TO! I put the Caps in on purpose, because the problem most CD's who try to stop is lack of attitude, or willpower! You can change almost any type of behavior, if you have the right attitude and the willpower to do it. To those who say you were born being a CD, I say "Hogwash!" Unless of course, you were born as a TRUE TRANSGENDERED person. On the other hand, if you are what I refer to as a True CD (one who dresses only for fun or pleasure) you can quit any time you want to, if you are really detirmined to do so! You LEARNED, somewhere along the line, to be a CD! You were not born with it! Now I will answer the questions in my own way.
Do I want to give up crossdressing? For the right reason I would! Example; if my GGF asked me to, I would do so in a heartbeat, and she knows it!
Do I feel my crossdressing has affected me? It has definitely made me more aware of my feminine side, which I don't think is all that bad!
Why is crossdressing so difficult to stop? It isn't, if you have the willpower to do it! Unless you are a true T-girl, then it certainly will be harder!
Is it still a big secret? From some people, yes, but not from my family!
Will you always be a crossdresser? Maybe, maybe not! I like to crossdress bacause it is fun, but it is not my whole life!
Would you ever reach out to help others who are crossdressers or transgendered? Here on the forum I have reached out to help other CD's and Transgendered many times. In addition I have met, in person, several other CD's here in Georgia and am currently waiting to have the opportunity to meet with another CD. I have a dress for him/her that is too large for me, but should be just her size. BTW, I am giving it to her!
Last edited by sissystephanie; 12-06-2009 at 10:39 PM. Reason: Make more sense of what I am saying!
Stephanie
Lady on the outside, but man underneath!
Eeek! Sorry but I have to disagree here. What is a "true transgendered person"? I would identify as transgendered in the sense of not feeling myself completely male, and having a strong feminine aspect to my personality which I need to express in order to be true to myself. I think that many of us believe we were "born with it".Originally Posted by sissystephanie
I've thought about givening it up. Recently I actually tried. I actually haven't dressed since ( I actually don't dress much). But I started going to this site, so I guess I haven't really given it up.
Plus I like to fantasize about being femmed. My crossdressing is very much connected to my sex drive. I don't know if I would ever truely give it up.
I do have a strong mascline side though. So I don't feel the need to always be dressed or anything like that. I'm thinking of dressing up a little tommarrow.
Nothing major. I was thinking about wearing some Sandals. Some slides with a black footbed and two purple uppers. They feel pretty comfy when I wear them. If I do it, I'm going to make sure my face is shaved. I might put on some dress paints and some sort of top. Not sure how femine on the top. I'll probably come my hair to the left to make it more fem. I just want to look nice tommarrow.
Can I give up crossdressing. Sure I can think of some great methods:
1. Lock myself in a castle tower with no girl clothes.
2. Join an aboriginal tribe where they wear no clothes.
3. Become a nudist without the aboriginal affiliation.
4. Join a Buddhist monastery in the Himalayas. They get to wear cool robes, but I don't think that counts as crossdressing.
Do I want to give up crossdressing?
Nope none of the above solutions are appealing to me at this moment.
Has it affected me?
Sure. At first I hated it now I love it so much that I am not sure where my female side ends. If I have to move to Nepal to quit dressing it will have a huge impact on my life.
Why is crossdressing so difficult to stop?
Because I don't want to move to Nepal, live in a castle tower, or become a nudist. Actually, it completes me now. I am as feminine as I am masculine. It would be like chopping my arms off if I gave that up.
Would I ever give up crossdressing?
Only if I transition. It seems silly to crossdress FtM after all of the trouble of going through MtF transistion.
Would I reach out to help other crossdressers and transgender people.
Of course. We are sisters and brothers in a struggle for acceptance with society, our loved ones, and most importantly ourselves. We all need a shoulder to lean on and I love being that shoulder. Lord knows I often need a shoulder to lean on.
See yourself as a soul with a body not a body with a soul" Dr. Wayne Dyer
Let's make sure we understand that the word, crossdressing, as used in the question indicates an act rather than a state of being. Anyone can stop the act. I chose my wife over my dressed self, mind you there is no judgment on others implied in that. That said, I think about it continuously now, and have the last ten years.
In regards to could I, would I, should I, Might I, what would make me, why do I, ect..... I say I need to dress, period, and that is me. I cannot speculate for anyone else, but to me, crossdressing is a part of my life that will never ever go away. I can only hope that it can progress into a more comfortable and accepted role for me.
As for the last part of the original post, I am a vol firefighter and it has crossed my mind often about dressing for my dept to get a feel for how they would react to helping someone like me in an emergency situation, and then thought about our local EMS company, and even thought about offering the service to local authorities in case of crisis that might just need a person who might be able to express deep pain to calm a situation. It might seem naive to some, or most, or all, but that would help me as well as possibly helping those who I work with voluntarily when the need arises.
No no no
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Can you give up crossdressing? Yes, I think I can, but I cannot give up the need and it would be to my detriment as well as those around me.
Do I want to give up crossdressing? Yes, I would like to wear women's clothing all the time and free up some closet space.
Do I feel my crossdressing has affected me? My crossdressing is a manifestation of who I am.
Why is crossdressing so difficult to stop? Because it is as much a part of me as my left-handedness, my blue eyes, my sparkling personality.
Is it still a big secret? No, those who need to know do, those who don't are kept in the dark because of the fears of others I love.
Will you always be a crossdresser? Yes
Would you ever reach out to help others who are crossdressers or transgendered? Yes
Last edited by Mary Morgan; 12-08-2009 at 09:42 AM.
Can you give up crossdressing? [SIZE="2"]You can give it up, but it’ll come roaring back every time. Just surrender to the urges…[/SIZE]
Do I want to give up crossdressing? [SIZE="2"]I don’t want to. I married the compulsion some time ago, and I mate for life…[/SIZE]
Do I feel my crossdressing has affected me? [SIZE="2"]It’s definitely helped my personality, my artwork, my writing, and…I’m happier!
Why is crossdressing so difficult to stop? [SIZE="2"]Because it’s so pleasurable, but that’s my opinion – your results may vary…[/SIZE]
Is it still a big secret? [SIZE="2"]Yes, secrecy is titillating. I like to keep things close to my bosom…[/SIZE]
Will you always be a crossdresser? [SIZE="2"]Yes, because this is the role I was born to play…[/SIZE]
Would you ever reach out to help others who are crossdressers or transgendered? [SIZE="2"]Absolutely – I am merely Freddy, and I am at your service. How may I help you? [/SIZE]
Can you give up crossdressing? I probably could if I really wanted to but I don't want to. I love dressing up and letting my female persona out. If I had to give it up, I couldn't delve through the clearance racks in the womens department any more.
Do I want to give up crossdressing? absolutly not, I find an inner peace when I "change".
Do I feel my crossdressing has affected me? I allows me to escape, to become a different person, to let out a part of me that otherwise is locked in.
Why is crossdressing so difficult to stop? Because its part of who we are, you cant change your inner soul.
Is it still a big secret? Yes, but not to my wife. I did tell my best friend this last weekend and that went very well.
Will you always be a crossdresser? Yes, I always have been and always will be.
Would you ever reach out to help others who are crossdressers or transgendered? Yes
My answer to that question "can you give up cross dressing" is YES!! when I'm dead I'm sure try as I might it just isn't gonna happen anymore.. All kidding aside the truth is I have quit any number of times and I'd be willing to bet just about everyone on this forum has quit with the idea that "this time I mean it, I am done!!" and then that magical day comes along that hits you and you (I) just gotta get some of that on.. see that girl over there?? see that dress?? those shoes are killer cute... I need something like that!! NOW!! quit dressing?? yea right..
This is what I mean by "every guy can look like a girl from the right angles".. this is one of the first pictures of me dressed up.. very vague look.. almost fem...
THe answer is no but I wouldn't want to either. I love being dressed and every night that is how I am.
Put a little lipstick on you'll feel better
Can you give up crossdressing?
Yes
Do I want to give up crossdressing?
No, not yet.... Having too much fun with the experiences
Do I feel my crossdressing has affected me?
Yes, made me more emotional and sociable
Why is crossdressing so difficult to stop?
For me, it is a combination of things. The main reason is that I have become very active in the local tg community and the kink community
Is it still a big secret?
To my family, but if they ask about it I'm willing to tell. Hmmm maybe some would see me on local tv while I tell my "story" for a documentary on the local crossdressing community
Will you always be a crossdresser?
I don't think so
Would you ever reach out to help others who are crossdressers or transgendered?
Yes, I put on the Big Sister shoes several years ago in both the cd/tg community and the kink community....
I have tried to stop crossdressing but have never been able to go more than a few weeks before I want to get dressed up.
I have been crossdressing for about 10 years and it has caused me stress for sure, but I do love wearing frilly things and pretty dresses.
no never, the older I get the more I need it, tried once a few years ago, got rid of everything, then a few mo's latter was buying new things to wear, from then on I know I would always enjoy my female side.
I once gave up crossdressing, it was the most terrifying weekend of my life.
I decided that I will have this component (CD'ing in my life, that is). I work in a creative business and I cannot tolerate constraints. Maybe a better word is regulation would be more fitting....such as in coping with alcohol....but not constraints, and certainly not elimination.
Freedom = power...well maybe some discipline is necessary to an extent, but not total suppression of the desire to crossdress.
Why punish your own mind?....did it do something bad to you?
Can you give up crossdressing?
At this stage, I seriously doubt it..
Do I want to give up crossdressing?
Not a chance.. I love it and reckon i look better as a girl..
Do I feel my crossdressing has affected me?
It's certainly affected me in a few ways.. I have better posture, I look after my skin a lot more, I feel much better about myself.. so all good really..
Why is crossdressing so difficult to stop?
Don't know.. I think if you cross-dress, it's probably part of your genetic make up.. ???
Is it still a big secret?
Ha, no way.. I've been "out" as a crossdresser since i was 18.. Most people know me as Steph pretty much full-time now
Will you always be a crossdresser?
Yes , definitely.
Would you ever reach out to help others who are crossdressers or transgendered?
I would, will, and in fact do.. My friend Jo is just starting down the difficult path towards the permanent change and I intend to help her every step of the way..
When Life Gives You Lemons, Throw them Back and Ask For Chocolate!!
Whoa.. I think this is the first time i can truly say on this forum that I couldn't disagree with you more..
I have a lot of TRANSGENDERED friends, and I consider myself TRANSGENDERED also.
There are many points on the spectrum of Transgenderism, ranging from simple cross-dressing, right through to hormone therapy and the permenant change.. Dressing as a woman is part of who I am and i firmly believe that i couldn't be any other way.. Nor would I want to be. Nor do I feel the need to actually become "fully" female. However, I don't consider myself "fully" male either, as my day to day persona is, by its very nature, inherantly female.. Therefore, I AM transgendered.
When Life Gives You Lemons, Throw them Back and Ask For Chocolate!!
Kara,
You may be right in saying that many CD's believe that they were "born with it!" But where is the proof? I have done a lot of studying about being a CD, and have never found any proof of someone being "born with it!" At what early age did you decide that you were a girl in the wrong body? Or was it that you were attracted to soft feminine garments as a young lad?
A True Transgendered male is one who wants to look, and act, as feminine as possible without actually becoming a woman, except maybe for sexual reasons. A Transexual male wants to become a woman, even to the point of have SRS. A CD, or as I class it, a True CD dresses simply for the pleasure of wearing feminine clothing! Not for sex (except with the wife or SO on occasion), or any other reason.
As another poster put it so well, crossdressing is an ACT! Not a part of our being! Any ACT can be stopped, if the willpower is there to stop it. You could stop, Kara, if you really wanted to! I know you don't want to, and that is your right. Bridget stopped 10 years ago, because his wife was more important to him, as she should have been. I deeply respect Bridget for that!
I stopped completely many years ago to strengthen my family, at least I thought it would. After 5 years of no Stephanie, my WIFE begged me to bring Stephanie back!! She missed our girly times together! But the point is, YOU CAN STOP CROSSDRESSING IF YOU WANT TO!!!
Stephanie the English Rose,
We may disagree, but at least we both chose a great name!
Actually. I don't think we do disagree! You are a Transgendered person by definition. On the other hand, I am a heterosexual male who likes to wear feminine clothing from time to time. A Crossdresser!! I have no desire to be a woman, I just like to dress like one! Now that my late wife is gone, i don't even wear a wig or makeup. Nor do I wear forms, having been blessed with natural 40 B's! And no, it is not gyenomastica! Just natural growth, according to several doctors.
Last edited by sissystephanie; 12-07-2009 at 10:30 PM. Reason: Respond to another post!
Stephanie
Lady on the outside, but man underneath!
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