I stopped a JCPenny in another town last night. I was dressed very conservative as Dana. As I walked down the aisle past a few women I got nice warm smiles. What are they thinking? Boy she is pretty? Good for her going out? What a dork? HE looks ridiculous? I think it was "You go Girl" LOL
It borders on paranoia to even care what others are thinking. It will drive you nuts to try and figure it out. If those people open their mouths and let their opinions out then you can begin to deal with them otherwise I leave that sort of guesswork alone.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. Mark Twain
They were friendly smiles just wondering. Not in a bad way. I think they thought Boy I wish I was that hot! lol
I agreeThe worst thing you can do is get caught up with what other people think.
When I first descovered Karla, I was really scared of what other people would think of her, but over time I learnt that it doesnt matter what other people think aslong as you are happy with who you are.
Also, I bet they were thinking "I wish I was hot", you go girl!
Love,
Miss Karla
Last edited by MissKara; 12-06-2009 at 10:14 AM. Reason: Additonal
I alway assume they are smiling but thinking "you are such a pervert". But that's just me! Lol.
Good on you. The real important thing is what you think, and it sounds as though you had a good time. Enuf said.
LOL...This topic just drives me a bit nuts...because I get the 180 degrees of the spectrum....from "looks" to "comments" that seem to over the top...so who the hell knows...then again when are people really honest and sincere anymore...then I see others other there dressing and think oh. if I looked like that I'd stop dressing in a heartbeat...so if you dwell on it it more than likely drive you nuts as well...
I guess it all boils down to this...if your concerned with what others think then don't go out dressed...and if you must go out then don't worry what others think...jsut go out enjoy your time out and be done with it...because none of us probably are going to fool everyone all the time...so with that being the case then why worry about it...
Last edited by Sherry-Stephanie; 12-06-2009 at 10:53 AM.
Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"
Probably trying to figure out what to cook for dinner.
I know exactly what you mean as the same thing happened to me. I still get the smiles and that's great but the time I am referring to was when I first started to go out.
I was in JC Penney with my wife, we were in the women's section and we walked past a sales assistant and she gave us both a warm smile but with me she seemed to smile even wider and look at me for longer. Just like you I thought "just what is she thinking? ... is that a "knowing smile"? I told my wife and she said all women smile at each other and in this case, it's part of her job.
I would say, just relax and go with it. She probably didn't read you ... and even if she did, be happy knowing that she doesn't seem to care one way or the other (she might even think CDing is cool) and will still happily sell you those cute shoes!
.
The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!
I agree with the others I doesn't matter and ifyou get a nice comment Great. It matter what you think about yourself
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee
[SIZE="2"]I always think those smiles are because they are green with envy
[/SIZE]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Susan V. Adams
Some possibilities
1. Some one on one of these forums pointed out that women have a kind of habit of smiling to each other if there is eye contact, a kind of right of passage. This might have applied in your case. Not payimg too much
attention, they may have just exchanged "female" call signs with you.
2. Their age could be a factor. Older and elderly women just assume some one who looks like a GG is one.
3. If you're dressed somewhat stylish, women in the corresponding age group for that style seem to be more interested in the clothing, less in the wearer. Younger women seem to fit into this category.
4.It is virtually impossble really to know what another person is thinking. If you start worrying about this you will go bonkers. If they smiled, they may not have been paying too much attention and you might have been accepted or as some one on this list put it, you blended in.
5. They may have looked approvingly and though "What a pervert" but that takes acting skills. This takes considerable effort.
6. They thought you were a real GG.
I go out a lot en femme and find that if I dress well and stylishly, in good taste, with everything matching, I usually get the reaction you do. They probably don't think too deeply and I just blend in. If a person looks very close, and somehow thinks I'm a male, even if the person is not completely sure, there is some negative expression.
The bottom line here is not to worry. If you look good, have confidence in they way you look, you should not have many problems. As long as you are getting any kind of possitive reaction, enjoy it!
Don't think about it too much. In the end result, it's not important what "they" think.
Patricia, the hard core CD
Like I said previously this topic drives me "nuts"...
It depends upon the person looking at you...
Some will think your weird...others are curious about you as to "why you dress" and others will take it as a compliment that you'd be willing to step out as a female...and are very accepting...
If you have a chance to meet other women and talk htis will come out, especially if you see them again and are in guy mode...the true feelings will come out from that person...case in point for me is the story I just posted in the picture section and the seeing again of a SA at Ulta last week...The SA saw me from a distance and came over with a big smile and "hello" and was all bubbly seeing me. I was with another SA so it wasn't that she was coming over to assist me...she was just very pelased to see me. So her response was very heart warming to me...and then we clued the other SA into what my "background" was....the second SA took over helping me because the other was working with a customer...but after she was done she came back and had a new attitude now that she new I dressed and knew my stuff on make up and that the manager was really cool with me...so this is good way to really find out what they think about us dressing....and these are the relationships we girls really need to cultivate to make the "dressing and out" experience so rewarding...that way you can go into a place either dressed or drab and be totally accepted and at ease...
Discovering the female self aka "Bitch with an Attitude"
As I am really starting to get out as Dana I have realized a few things. I probably look like a GG from a distance. But a you get close I think we all can be read so my new attitude is yea a crossdresser and I love it! I feel good like this and it is me. So Yes I am a guy. Physically anyways. The smiles I take in my own little head as an approval for being me! And what cute shoes I am wearing! This post is lighthearted. Don't want to debate if I pass or not. Don't care as much as long as I can blend!
I have seldom been out, and think I am fooling no one. But I have gotten compliments on my legs and my dress from GGs.
When someone smiles at me, I assume that either (a.) they wish me well, or (b.) they are amused. Either one is good.
Liz
Smiles can vary a great deal, Dana, so it is impossible to tell what sort of message was imbedded in the smiles that you received.Originally Posted by Dana Jones
In general, as someone else here has already mentioned, whenever two women make eye contact they give each other a little smile. It is pretty automatic in "girl world." Not returning a smile with a similar one will cause greater scrutiny.
But it is a lot like bowing in Japan, there are a lot of nuances that can be communicated if it is anything other than the standard woman-to-woman smile, so you have to learn to read the subtle bits.
Hope that helps.
"If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.
"If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)
-.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).
Hmmmmmmm my therapist said the same thing last week........ so I'm going to find out this week if I can maintain the who cares attitude, a trip to her office broad daylight, tuff town here. Ive been out before but........ now if I can find "Just the right outfit!"
I agree don't get caught up in what others think, just be your self and enjoy, I do
There you go, Dana! You've answered your own question. Go with that, and Bravo to you for your new attitude!
Be well.
I learned the laws of physics by watching Road Runner cartoons.
Do you have that, in a tall?
You will never know until you ask them.
It really doesn't matter what they think. You can't please everyone. But just because you ask, judging from your photo, I would think "you go girl!"
It depends on the GG - how friendly and open-minded they are, or aren't. Also depends on the CD. I've seen all types who made me think anything ranging from "OMG she's so beautiful, wish I were brave enough to ask for her phone number" to "OMG, that outfit... she obviously needs to see a psychiatrist."
I have thought this many times when I am out,however I am near 7ft tall so some are thinking in my case "She is one nice looking tall woman" so for you if they look and you appear comfortable they are thinking you are a woman out and about. I have seen some of us out and they did not appear comfortable at all and people picked that up.
I had a similar thing on Halloween walking around Portland. It was my first time really walking around as Samantha. Even though it was Halloween I still was trying not to pay attention too closely to reactions to me. And I almost missed the best thing!We were standing for a sec, by a bench and my girl tells me these 2 girls are walking by (I saw them and turned away slightly) and says "did you hear them?" No why? I'm afraid!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] x o x o x o Samantha Girl!!! * remember girls, sexiness is a state of mind!!!
YES, Susan!!
One thing I've learned about women's thinking:
Whenever I KNOW what they're thinking, I STILL better ask! Otherwise I'll be wrong!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
What matters Dana is how were you feeling? My guess was that you felt great and love the attention.
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