Do other TGs/CDs embarrass you ?

[Rachel Morley]

I answered number 3. I might feel uncomfortable in public though if they weren't even trying to pass at all, and were also acting very "male" around me.

I like the term "tranny"; I think it covers all members of our club (TG/TV/TS) in a light-hearted and inoffensive way, and I like it much better than "crossdresser", which seems such an inadequate and cold word.

Funny this Natalie....I feel the exact opposite

[Jenny Rose]

Never been out en femme and maybe never will. But the thing is that I think you should dress and act appropriately for the occasion. Contrived examples of poor dress: evening gown to baseball game. 5-inch heels almost anywhere except clubbing. Wearing way out of fashion eye makeup that only ever was appropriate for a girl 20 years younger than you.

I do think crossdressing is about respecting the feminine form. I don't think you need to pass, so long as you look respectable.

I went to an arts and crafts show on Friday with my wife. I spotted 4 TG's of differing degrees of passability. It looked like no one noticed, except maybe the 6' 5" TG that looked like she could be an ex football player. All of them really dressed consistent with what the women were wearing: summer dresses, low heels/flats and no nylons. They all looked great, showed their own individual style, yet you could argue that none of the passed.

Husband: "Hey honey, look at the man over there wearing the dress!"
Wife: "But you know, even though he is 6'5" and overweight, his makeup and the dress he is wearing is really flattering. I bet he doesn't look good that normally!!"
Husband to self: "hmmm, I've always wondered what it would be like"

[jessica33]

I would go out with cds anytime . We have to remember that we are all in this together . If we can not accept those who do not pass well then we can not expect the general public to accept us as well .

[Rachel Ann]

I can't find a choice to vote on, all are true up to a point with various people in varying circumstances. Some people in all groups embarass me, and I am selective about whom I will go anywhere with, TG or not.

That said, when dressed, I prefer to go places with another CD or a GG, especially after dark. This is for safety reasons; many GGs do the same.

[Billijo49504]

I would only go out with my wife, when dressed. Because that is whay see asked of me. With the support I get a home, that's the least I can do.

[mand]

Hello Fiona, I think you have asked a very good question.

Can I just say that the first time I ever went to a TG venue I went along with the thought that everyone was going to be of a similar disposition, was I in for a shock. I was silly enough to believe that everyone would feel in some way similar to myself, born in the wrong phyiscal gender for my mind and soul. What I found on my very first time with other TG's was that the sepctrum is totally vast in it's range. The only common factor was the desire to give a female apperance, but the reasons for this desire were as different as each individual themselves.

Do other TG's embarrass me?....................I would have to say in the collective sense, No they don't. We are all born with different veiws and I do try to respsect other peoples veiws, ideas, desires, wishes.
However I have come across some TG's who I have no wish to be classed in the same league with.

I'll try to give some examples................Jane (my wife?) works in the legal system, she was telling me about a Pre-op TS who was found guilty of expossing her genitals to young children, she was sent to prison, the story was in the local papers. I found this an embarrassment to all TG's.

The next embarrasment was when I was still "in the closet". I was at University on a part time basis reading Law. In our group was a TS, I don't know if she was pre or post op?. The thing is she was totally "bonkers". People in the group were actually very accepting of her and they did their best to make her part of the group and feel wellcome. That was simply not enough for her, every single sentence that came out of her mouth began "Well because I am a woman". Every time she spoke there had to be a reference to her gender.
Anyway she soon left the University, claming that everyone (students and lecturers) were picking on her and making nasty comments and remarks about her, I know for a fact that this was totally untrue. I felt she was a bad example to people of what it means to be a TG.

As for daytime talk shows on the television, some TG's come across as genuinely good people and do portray the TG community in a positive and thoughtfull way. Some however come over as being quite mad and make me cringe, especially when family or friends are watching.



I don't go to TG venues anymore, to be honest I used to find it a struggle to fit in. In a one to one situation I can talk the "hind legs of a donkey", but in a group enviroment I tend to be a little resevered and quite shy.

As for going in public with another TG, well there is only one who I have ever been out with and she is a real lady. She is older than me and she passes much better than I could ever hope too. We are a bit like "chalk and chesee" really, she is awfully posh were I am really common. You have Tea with her and it's best "Royal Doulton or Crown Derby" china, if anyone should feel a little embarrrassed, it should be her.

love mand xxx

[Julie]

It's never bothered me being out with other CDs. But all the ones I've been out with give it their best effort. It's not the final result that's important to me (passable, beautiful or any other triat we all desire) but if she did her best with what she has. That's all that's important.

[FionaAlexis]

I would go out with cds anytime . We have to remember that we are all in this together . If we can not accept those who do not pass well then we can not expect the general public to accept us as well .

Yes, Jessica that is a good point and certainly a consideration that weighs on me. I think, at the end of the day, it depends whether you see yourself as part of an 'all in this together' or a simply individual trying to be 'normal' - finding their own way.

As I've said elsewhere - I don't see myself as the vanguard of any gender revolution.

Fiona xx

[FionaAlexis]

I would only go out with my wife, when dressed. Because that is whay see asked of me. With the support I get a home, that's the least I can do.

That's fine - but its about your perception and feelings - not necessarily what you've done or what you've agreed to do.

Fiona xx

[FionaAlexis]

Can I just say that the first time I ever went to a TG venue I went along with the thought that everyone was going to be of a similar disposition, was I in for a shock. I was silly enough to believe that everyone would feel in some way similar to myself, born in the wrong phyiscal gender for my mind and soul. What I found on my very first time with other TG's was that the sepctrum is totally vast in it's range. The only common factor was the desire to give a female apperance, but the reasons for this desire were as different as each individual themselves.

Thanks Mand - Yes, that's pretty much my view of, not just TG venues but, tranny groups in general.

I'm also reserved and shy in group situations - and, in addition, I admit I'm not very social.

Fiona xx

[FionaAlexis]

to UnlimitedDelight -

I am well aware of Sarah West's views in 'Emperor's New Clothes' and in 'I have a Confession to make....', ]which is more relevant to the question I raise here] and, generally, I empathise and concur with most of what she said in both threads.

However, what is YOUR view UnlimitedDelight? on the question is this thread? And I don't think it is entirely about 'passibility'.

Fiona xx

[emmicd]

Dear Fiona

I would not have the courage to go out en femme so I would not have this opportunity to go out with other cd/tgs.

However I would not judge a person whether they are convincing or not in presenting themselves as female knowing that they are not. If I had the opportunity to hang with them to learn something I think I would be better for that experience.

I would respect them and wish them well.

I try to always focus on the positive attributes of people.

Emmi

[Mandy Salamander]

,,thinking 'plausible' might be a better word to use, than 'passable',,, I'm fully aware that I don't always 'pass',, but doo present well,, I have a small frame, am quiet and polite, and always dress and ACT appropriately for occasion,(even when a bit tipsy), thus am never embarrassed for myself,and usually doo pass without problem,,, but in answer to your query,, yes, I have indeed felt shame for others who apparrently didn't have the dignity to do it for themselves,,,

[Like2BAspen]

I would love to meet ad go out with other tgs and where depends on where we are both comfortabl and how much fun we can have there

[FionaAlexis]

,,thinking 'plausible' might be a better word to use, than 'passable'

Yes - thanks Mandy. Also predictability in behaviour - even in male mode I never like being with those whose behaviour is erratic. I know others find them great fun people - but maybe I have low threshold.

Fiona xx

[FionaAlexis]

Dear Fiona

I would not have the courage to go out en femme so I would not have this opportunity to go out with other cd/tgs.

However I would not judge a person whether they are convincing or not in presenting themselves as female knowing that they are not. If I had the opportunity to hang with them to learn something I think I would be better for that experience.

I would respect them and wish them well.

I try to always focus on the positive attributes of people.

Emmi

Hi Emmi,

I have the utmost respect for any TG who lives the life they wish to live or who takes a stand on issues and pushes the boundaries. I am happy for other trannies to go out dressed as outlandishly or unplausibly - and behave as colourfully - as they wish. Good on them! I just find it embarrassing.

Neither am I trying to set those who go out dressed apart from those who don’t – in fact I am very much against peer pressure on girls who are quite happy to remain private dressers.... – in fact that was one of the points of ‘Unsatisfactory Solutions’.

But maybe I have not been clear on my poll options – they were intended to be as much hypotheticals as questions of what people had actually done.

Fiona xx

[Rikki]

I don't dress so much as to pass, because I could never paas. I dress for myself and if I do get out, I go out to places where I am not as apt to meet people.
As for being embarressed, it would have to depend on the way the other CDer acted. I say that because I get embarresed when in drab and anybody else with me gets to acting inappropriate. I am just a shy person who embarrases easy.
I would still like to meet other Crossdressers, but I would like to meet them in a private place and not in a pub or anyplace like that. Just my 2cts.


Rikki

[FionaAlexis]

I say that because I get embarresed when in drab and anybody else with me gets to acting inappropriate. I am just a shy person who embarrases easy.

Me too Rikki - and I guess at some point it becomes our problem of over sensitivity rather than theirs ?

Fiona xx

[Lisa]

I agree with Tristen .....I would only go out with other who dress while en femme, that way theres no worry and they understand you , and that really helps.

Lisa Lane.xoxo

[racquel]

I voted any-time any-where but I would like to clarify something.As most of the ladies stated previously it would require the other person to act and dress appropriately.

[FionaAlexis]

I agree with Tristen .....I would only go out with other who dress while en femme, that way theres no worry and they understand you , and that really helps.

Lisa Lane.xoxo

Thanks Lisa - Well I guess my question is - how far does that 'no worry' and 'understanding' go?

Natalie Sweet put it very well:

Previously, I had this image of us all as girls, at different stages along the road to achieving a semblance of female perfection. Of course, that's a misconception, only a small proportion of us are trying to reach the "passable" standard anyway, most are just happy to pop on a frock or a pair of knickers for fun or as a turn-on.

Is your 'no worry' and feeling of 'understanding' limited to that 'small proportion trying to reach the 'passable' standard'? Or is it anyone, anywhere any time?

Fiona xx

[Rachel Ann]

I would only go out with other who dress while en femme, that way theres no worry and they understand you, and that really helps.

I sometimes hang out with CD friends while not dressed myself. For example, at a public event where other friends of mine are present. My friends are almost all hip and cool with TG/CD in principle, but they're not ready for me to be like that - and may never be.