Do other TGs/CDs embarrass you ?

[FionaAlexis]

I’m wondering what your acceptance level and tolerance of other CDs and trannies is like – and I’m talking about them being dressed. I think the wonderful [?] thing about internet forums and chatrooms is that it is ideally suited to CDs and trannies as reality is well masked. I know you all love other CDs and trannies especially the hot looking ones but when you step away from your PC back to reality – how do you really feel?

How do I feel?

I’m afraid there are lots of CDs and trannies that make me cringe when I see them on television. I have seen some transsexuals telling their stories or some broader TS view and even they make me feel slightly uncomfortable. I was watching an episode of local soap - ‘Neighbours’ - at dinner time with my family. Two trannies appeared – and I could feel my face burning red with embarrassment. There are a few TSs who present very well and usually when they are talking about another topic and being transsexual is simply incidental.

A couple of years back there was some controversy here over a tranny nightclub that was situated close to a major public hospital and the patrons of the club used the hospital car park. Relatives of patients visiting in the evening hours complained about the trannies and their behaviour. I believe this resulted in the club closing down. Anyway at the time I remember listening to talkback radio and hearing a tranny call in about the imminent closure. She said a lot of the stuff we read on forums like this – about wanting to express her femininity, finding herself – and this being only venue where she could be herself. And she made me cringe – hearing those personal thoughts out loud in public in a slightly effeminate but distinctly male voice – made me cringe.

I would not go out in public with another tranny. I have really only met three trannies in my life who I felt were really passable – one of whom I went out with quite happily. Mind you, I’ve only met about 20 or 30 trannies. I think it’s hard enough to pass alone without worrying about whether your companion is making it. I once managed a shoe shop in Chapel Street, Melbourne [for those who are here! Talk about the kid in a candy store!] and two trannies came in to try on shoes – one passed very well. She was small framed, good figure, very feminine in both behaviour and manner - and the other didn’t and was clearly on ‘L’ plates. The good one could have gone anywhere – but with her friend she no longer passed. She may as well have been wearing a T-shirt with ‘I am a tranny too!’ on it.

So I guess I am not that comfortable with most other trannies in all situations.

Fiona xx

[Maddie Knight]

I would never be embarrassed by another cd no matter where I was or how I was dressed.
If we don't show understanding to our sisters who will.

[FionaAlexis]

If we don't show understanding to our sisters who will.

Don't know. But I love Australians and some of them embarrass me.

Fiona

[Clare]

I understand your views Fiona.

As you know, we are all at different levels of self acceptance and what i think is good for me may be seen as trashy by others. Not to mention the physical atrributes that some of us have to overcome!

I voted #3 as i would find that company may actually inspire confidence to make the move to be more 'out-n-about'. I have seen posts where groups of XDR's are out together and although its obvious they are crossdressers to the public, they have a great time socially and seem to enjoy themselves because of it. I can't image being so relaxed on my own to the same level.

Maybe some CD'ers prefer to be alone whilst others gain confidence from group situations. Everyone to their own i suppose.

I just see it as case of physical support as opposed to the emotional support we give to each other here in the forums.

Christine

[FionaAlexis]

Maybe some CD'ers prefer to be alone whilst others gain confidence from group situations. Everyone to their own i suppose.

Yes well put Christine.

And yes I can understand the confidence in numbers situation - and I have been there - and obviously it works to a degree - like any en masse statement. It don't think it works to the same degree with just one other person but depends on the person I suppose.

Fiona xx

[Natalie x]

[size=4]This has been on my mind lately, too, after seeing some photo's recently that made me wonder if others see me as I saw the people in the pictures.[/size]

[size=4]Previously, I had this image of us all as girls, at different stages along the road to achieving a semblance of female perfection. Of course, that's a misconception, only a small proportion of us are trying to reach the "passable" standard anyway, most are just happy to pop on a frock or a pair of knickers for fun or as a turn-on.[/size]
[size=4][/size]
[size=4]Most of us who want to pass have to overcome huge obstacles: masculine build, male faces, facial and body hair, deeper voices, bad walks and no tits. Small wonder that it takes ages to get anywhere near passing, and most of us will never achieve it.[/size]
[size=4][/size]
[size=4]I have to confess that I do feel embarrassed when I see someone who stands out as an unconvincing woman. I feel for them, because they are potential targets for ridicule; I feel for myself, because I am afraid that I will be seen in the same way; and I feel for all of us, because I want us to be accepted, and I think outsiders will be put off if they see us as blokes in drag.[/size]
[size=4][/size]
[size=4]Fiona has a good point, that a tranny with a gg or a guy or in a mixed bunch, stands a better chance of passing than two trannys together. Incidentally, I like the term "tranny"; I think it covers all members of our club (TG/TV/TS) in a light-hearted and inoffensive way, and I like it much better than "crossdresser", which seems such an inadequate and cold word.[/size]
[size=4][/size]
[size=4]This embarrassment doesn't change how I feel towards my sisters here, and outside our community, though. I hope I will always keep this new understanding and acceptance I have found since discovering my own femininity. Every person has a right to receive respect, whether they hold the same views as me or totally different, and in this community we have a very special relationship with each other that transcends all our differences.[/size]
[size=4][/size]
[size=4][/size]

[Tristen Cox]

Do other TGs/CDs embarrass you ?
On the contrary they are the only people I would go out with en fem.

[Jenny Beth]

I voted number 4. Although I have not done so yet I have been out at night both with just one other CD and in groups for dinners. I don't pass all that well and for a long time that was an obstacle. It has taken years to finally accept that fact and I have been out on my own several times in broad daylight. It's true there are some who could pass just about anywhere but it's not as much about looks as it is about confidence. However I'd have to say that if I was to be out with another CD whether it be night or day I'd hope she had done her best to look passable. What I mean is I wouldn't want to be out with someone who was all dressed but with no makeup and as hairy as a gorilla. That doesn't mean I don't accept them as a sister because I know they have the same desires and feelings I do. I guess the bottom line is I want to be as comfortable as possible when I get out otherwise the enjoyment of "being a woman" might loose some of it's appeal.

[joni-alice]

Only ones that pester me with questions like this!

But it does make one think.

It doesn't matter to me how a person looks or what he or she is wearing, but actions of certain people could cause me some bearable discomfort, whether they are trannies or not.

[Deanna2]

Fiona, you missed a number of categories. The one that applies to me is that I would socialize with other CD's at a private venue (either day or night) and have done so a couple of times.

CD's don't embarrass me, but I don't think I would be particularly comfortable in a public gathering. I once organized myself to attend a Seahorse monthly meeting, but wound up not going. There are certain hotels around town where CD's can go and enjoy themselves, but I'm a clubby sort of person. I know everyone is trying to express themselves in a certain way and so am I.

I'm not really a closet CD as I have out in femme gear in the daytime. Maybe it's a confidence thing and I need more of it.

[FionaAlexis]

Do other TGs/CDs embarrass you ?
On the contrary they are the only people I would go out with en fem.

I think you have side-stepped the question Tristen. - Fiona xx

[Tristen Cox]

I don't think so, why would I go out with them if they embarassed me?

[Laurie Ann]

I believe that dressing is an outward expression of what I am feeling at any given time. If I dress in my male clothes than I feel that way, if I am dressed in womens clothes then I feel that way, at that time. I would feel comfortable being out with other CD/TS/TV any time as it represents what they are trying to express at any given time. I am 6'1" 215 pounds and in heels stand anywhere from 3-4" higher. I doubt that anyone would ever take me for a women even at my best but so what. I am not trying to fool the world I am trying to express myself and make ME feel good. That's my opinion anyway

[Phoebe Reece]

This poll is hard to answer because other options affect the answer. If I am enfemme, I will go out with other CD's pretty much anywhere, day or night, provided they are dressed appropriately for where we are going. If I am drab, I would have to limit the places I would accompany a CD who is enfemme to places that I would not be recognized, and again the other person must be appropriately dressed for the location.

[cosmolovesph]

i voted #3, and have been to gay clubs (halloween) in drag and would do it again.

My .02 on this is people (anyone) who are "over the top" and way to dramatic or have horrid attitudes which can put others in uncomfortable situtations.
hope that makes sense... and certainly does not apply solely to TG/CD's

[Wendy me]

i voited I find it offensive that you are asking this question.....no offence to anny one
but who or what gives you , me , us or them the right to be offensived by someone that is being who thay are???? this is me , this is who i am , love me, hate me, kiss me , kick me, but this is who i am and your who you are , together we can learn and grow from each outher...i think we offensived our selfes when we close our own selfes to all outhers....some travel through life so high up on their own pedistal thay thay can't see the true meaning in everyone......i am no better than you .... as well you are no better than me ....my .02$.....

[FionaAlexis]

Fiona, you missed a number of categories. The one that applies to me is that I would socialize with other CD's at a private venue (either day or night) and have done so a couple of times.

Hi Deanna - I actually had a similar option in my first draft ie. 'I would meet another CD/tranny in private' but I took it out because it's about the level of embarassment, acceptance and tolerance in public - and I think we'd all meet someone privately in the right circumstances.

Fiona xx

[Ava Mouse]

Assuming they're dressed appropriately and behave normal in public, I'm not embarrassed at all...

[Jeanette H]

Well, I've never met another tranny, have never been out of the house en femme, and don't consider myself very passable, so I didn't feel I could vote for any of the options! But if I was going to go out I'd be glad of some company, and I wouldn't like to feel I'd turn down a proposed outing without at least considering it. And people aren't born passable. I imagine almost any convincing TV has had some help in the past from others.

Re voices, I remember saying over at Rose's that if some magic program could make the computer read out everyone's posts in their natural voices, the forum would feel very different. It would be a mixed blessing...

[Wendy me]

Assuming they're dressed appropriately and behave normal in public, I'm not embarrassed at all...

and just pray tell is that please the 1,000,000.00 answer...

[Ava Mouse]

and just pray tell is that please the 1,000,000.00 answer...

Wendy, Ah, well, I mean 'act like a typical woman would', or act appropriately.

Point is if we look/behave like freaks in public, it will set back our acceptance. Oh, and potentially embarrass our friends. LOL.

I don't care about passability, just appropriate behavior/presentation.

[Stephanie Mancini]

Having been out with numerous girls, wives, girlfriends and yes even with a few girls being accompanied by their boyfriends, it has to be honestly said that most of us don't pass, the important thing is that we're out there being ourselves, expressing who we are, we are trannies for heaven's sake, we have every right to be proud of who and what we are, yes sometimes we do get knockbacks from the public at large for the way some of us dress which is why if you are contemplating going out its very important to present yourself in an appropriate manner to the public at large, being normal if you like, god how i hate that word, blending in is the secret, real girls do recognise when a t-girl is making a bit of an effort and act accordingly, a girl with attitude is not enough but a girl with attitude and wearing the right outfit for the occasion is a girl who can Pass! Steph

[maryannsung]

Most of the time not. The only times they did are when they act like real men and started to talk loud and walk like a construction worker. Also some girls do not dress for the occasion, e.g. wearing 5-inch heels to go shopping.

[CharleneCD]

During the time of the family funeral we got a chance to escape and go to our first Tri-Ess meeting. After the meeting About 6 of the gals decided to go to a restaraunt to eat. I changed back to drab to avoid changing later at the restaraunt, as I had to be normal when we got home. So to make a long story short Bunny and I were in public with 6 other Cd's who stayed dressed. Only 2 out of the six were reasonably passable. I wasnt embarrased at all to be seen with them. Just had a good time with people who are just like me.

[Jo_2s]

If I had half a chanch of passing, I would love to meet up in public but as much as I respect eveyones right to be and dress how you want ( I do at home ) I would only feel ok it the other girl felt like me. By this I mean not over the top, dress to your age, and not try to attract attention.
Now look I am NOT trying to tell you what you should do, if you want to slap on the paint, 10" leather mini skirt, fishnets, 48 DD, etc. and shout look, that's fine but this question is about how I feel.