So often I have gone back and forth on my desire to crossdress. I have often come to sites like this for support and discussion, and so often I am told and read that crossdressing is who I am, and unhappiness comes if I don't live as who I am. Recenly, though, I had a though, a feeling, that who I am isn't necessarily who I want to be. I hate the crossdressing side of me, I hate that it is such a strong urge, on the verge of an addiction, and I realized, people can change. Instead of just being 'who I am' I can choose to become who I want to be, and who I want to be isn't a crossdresser. It's a father and a husband, and the father and husband can't live in the same body as a crossdresser. I'm sure I'm going to get a dozen responses telling me I'll eventually bread down and revert to crossdressing, and that may happen, but it may not...I may be able to change who I am, change my heart, and change what I want out of this life. It used to be that everytime I had a spare moment I would think about what I could do to get my 'fix', but latley that has changed and I look for different joy in life. It's been 6 months now without a breakdown...not to say there hasn't been temptation. I think there always will be but I really think I can become someone different, and in my eyes, someone better. You can change who you are. We are all born as carnal beings, and it is up to us to become who we want to be, and who we need to be. Who I want and need to be isn't this.