who's gone from a drunk CD to sober CD?

[Tara_G]

Having a hard time with this. When I was drinking it all came so naturally and without inhibition. Now I fell like I'm stuck in mud. My wife is totally supportive but not real sexual lately (definitely not because of my CD habits). We've had some house guests lately and still have one for a few weeks more so I haven't been able to dress up and play on the computer or anything like that. I've decided to quit drinking again. The last time I was sober for 8 years and felt no sexual desires whatsoever. Anybody with similar experiences and advice?

[Sally2005]

I've never been a heavy drinker, but used to binge drink at parties...anyways, it just seemed to go out of fashion (not to mention as you get older a hangover is more and more painful) and I stopped drinking at all (a beer once in a blue moon) and I can't say I miss it. It took about a year to get out of the habbit of thinking about having a beer with dinner etc. but now I don't even think about it. The other point I wanted to make, I have been mostly impacted by the people around me who drink...they think they are not hurting anyone and the truth is, they impact everyone. Just take up a heathy activity like biking instead and you will feel a lot better.

CDing is more fun and safer when you are sober anyhow.

[Tara_G]

Quitting drinking isn't what I'm worried about. I've done it before and will do it again. It's the association with my CDing and how it makes me feel so much more relaxed with myself.
I agree that the habit does hurt others. I have many incentives to quit right now. I just can't get "over the hump" with feeling relaxed without a couple of drinks.

[giuseppina]

Quitting drinking isn't what I'm worried about. I've done it before and will do it again. It's the association with my CDing and how it makes me feel so much more relaxed with myself.
I agree that the habit does hurt others. I have many incentives to quit right now. I just can't get "over the hump" with feeling relaxed without a couple of drinks.

There's a chance the drinking is self-medication to escape your issues. Perhaps there is something besides CDing is bothering you. A licensed counselor can help you discover and deal with the issue(s) troubling you. You might not get someone you can work with the first time.

To answer your question, I've never been drunk, even at university.

Good luck.

[Danielle Gee]

Maybe you're just drawing the wrong conclusions. I have recently quit drinking also ( a liter of JB per week average),,Havn't had a drink for about 6 weeks now.
I also haven't CD'd for a like period of time. I guess I could make the connection that quitting drinking caused my "urge" to lesson, but the truth is I've had other stuff in my life that I've needed to deal with.

I also have an accepting wife , so I can't use her for an excuse. In fact she just bought me a new wig and we had a photo session this AM (see my profile picture if you'd care to see it)

I used to obsess about CDing and worry about every little thing, but in my mid to late 50s I realized that ones life is really a series of random events and very few have a connection with anything so.....

I hope you suceed with you drinking and don't worry (be happy) your urge to CD will return

Love Danielle

[sandra-leigh]

Tara, unfortunately when I read your initial post and your reply, I get confused about what you are trying to convey. You discuss drinking, relaxing, cross-dressing, and sexual interest. You indicate that when you were not drinking you had no sexual interest, but if that were the point, then I don't quite see how the cross-dressing or relaxing fits in?

Considered together, your posts are suggestive that there is a chain of circumstances: that when you do not drink, you do not feel comfortable (do not feel relaxed enough for) cross-dressing, and {contextually implied} that if you are not cross-dressing then you are not interested in sex ? Or perhaps that you are more relaxed when you are cross-dressed and that it isn't the cross-dressing itself but the level of relaxation that enables you to have sex, except that you don't feel like cross-dressing when you are sober??

The way you have written so far, seems to merge together "cross-dressing" and "sexual interest". If you find that you effectively need to be cross-dressed in order to be interested in sex, then the medical profession would say that your cross-dressing has become a "fetish". The US psychiatric DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) defines "transvestitism" in the sexual fetish section in very much those terms (crossdressing has become necessary for sex)... except that the "proof" that you are a transvestite for psychiatric purposes is merely in whether you have worn the clothes of the opposite sex more than 3 times in your life (unless it "goes away" within 6 months of onset): the US psychiatric diagnosis of "transvestitism" doesn't care about any actual association in the person between cross-dressing and sexuality -- if you put on the clothes, then that is considered to be sufficient proof.

Sorry, I need to be clearer on what you are trying to tell us in order to know whether I even have any relevant advice to offer. (But, as always, please avoid TMI, Too Much Information -- this section of the site is publicly accessible without an account!)

[Toni_Lynn]

I am 21 years sober. I was a 1 litre a day consumer of rum. I cd'd when I drank and spent a lot of time on line -- this was back in the days of Compu$erve and the HSX-100 and HSX-200 areas that most of the CDing discussion took place. My drinking came about because of deep depression brought about by others lack of acceptance and downright hatred toward my CDing. I ended up losing my job and had to move 1,500 miles back to living with my parents at age 31. 6 months after I returned to them, I broke down and admitted that I was alcoholic. After I had been sober 3 months my mum found my stash of clothes. Being sober I had to will to stand up to her. I moved out and since then life has been grand.

Now that I was on my own again, I looked back over my drinking career. I did a lot of stupid things that brought shame to the girl within. I was very much a one handed typist on line (if you know what I mean) I allowed rum to control her. And the alcohol abused her. The booze screwed up my judgment, and I had lost control, turning over my CDing to the bottle. When sober, I was now in control on again. And I began a love affair with the girl that I am. CDing sober is so much better than CDing drunk

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Tara_G]

Thanks for all the replies, especially from the alcoholics (recovered, or not). I think most of us fit the U.S. definition of "Transvestite" even if our gender issues involve more than just wearing clothing. Certainly, I am self medicating; but I could say the same for sober CD'ers. I enjoy sex more when I'm CDing and am having a hard time relaxing enough to CD when I'm sober. I think Toni Lynn's experience with acceptance is at the root of my problem. I think because my mother doesn't accept it my sober side does not either. There: I saved $5Ki in counseling.

I would still like to hear from girls who quit drinking and had a blast CDing. How did you make the transition?

[sherri52]

I quit drinking at 17 ( never aquired the taste ). Therefore it wasn't drinking that started the dressing in full gear. Being that it was never a part of dressing, I can't help in your situation but I don't think the drinking started you dressing.

[Loni]

I was a cd long before I started drinking, ( up to twenty thirty beers a night.

now I get sick just trying to drink one beer.

acid reflux. makes lots of gas real fast. great way to get one to not drink.

and I still cross dress.

it is amazing what fourty +++ years can bring about.

.

[kayesimone]

four years sober and wishing you well...when i was a lush i was fighting with the realities of my dressing...when i sobered up i came out to my wife who said goodbye...i dress mostly at home but hope to find a meeting where it is acceptable...it was so wonderful to finally be honest with myself and accept me for me...and to be able to share that with a few close friends...i hope to explore the sex side of things in as healthy a way as possible...of course i get those urges to just jump in bed with anyone who is willing, but i believe that there is just the right person for me out there if i am open and willing....just work a good program and you will be fine...

[MsJanessa]

I've been sober now for over 14 years---both My CDing and my life in general have gotton much better without the booze--and it's cheaper to go to the bars and clubs when you are only drinking diet coke---good luck and if you would like to talk privatly feel free to send Me an e-mail

[Fab Karen]

It's the association with my CDing and how it makes me feel so much more relaxed with myself.
I agree that the habit does hurt others. I have many incentives to quit right now. I just can't get "over the hump" with feeling relaxed without a couple of drinks.

Relaxation without a crutch is learned. It's the addict mind trying to tell you to give up, that you "need" it to be relaxed. You have to get experience with getting comfortable with your femme self. And you might notice you'll need to work on relaxing in boy-mode too at times. When the thought of having a drink comes, think through how drinking made you feel in the end: hang-overs, money spent, things you said or did that you regret, time spent focused on drinking.
( 16 yrs. sober, know a bit about the subject )

[Phyliss]

Never did much CDing when I was drunking, ( still can't understand the idea of one drink )

Now that I don't drink I have more money to buy cute clothes. I think it's around $30 to $40 a fifth now a days. Do you know what kind of bargin you can get for $40 at Payless during BOGO? Shoes last longer than a bottle.
Danielle , only a litre of J.B. a week? ... the last weekend before I found a Fellowship I bought 1/2 gal of Beam, and 1/2 gal of Barcardi ... it was all gone by Monday, and I didn't have any company. ( wonder why?)


Been sober for almost 32 yrs (this coming Jan 25) With lots of courage, mental not liquid, I can now go "out and about" with no fear, and don't require any "assistance" either liquid or chemical.

[docrobbysherry]

when I first began SERIOUS dressing!

Over the years, I've found drinking even ONE glass of merlot before I dress, can cause problems!

I'm less likely to forget, or mess up, some part of my planned outfit, and I function better sexually, when I'm completely sober!

AND, I think I get a better rush looking in the mirror, too!

[Stormgirl]

I'm not a CD but I definitely plan on getting help and quitting the bad habit in 2010.