Quote Originally Posted by sterling12 View Post
During my Career, I worked with Quads who were on ventilators, and your obviously a lot further along than that.

I seem to remember that there were specialists who dealt with matters of sexuality for para and quadriplegic people. I think they are somewhat rare, but they do exist. This might be an Avenue worth exploring. You are young and you need some form of outlet. You are also transgendered, and I'm sorry but I don't think it's going to go away.

If you have been long-term in a Therapeutic Setting, I'm sure your familiar with The Concept of "Visualization" for pain relief. You might try something like that for matters of sexuality. Remember, it's hard for people to interrupt or interfere, if "The Trip" is in your mind. I think you are already up to "feeling horny status," so it's possible that you could acheive a lot more. There are Quad and Para People out there who have wives, and have Fathered Children.

Independence and ability to perform ADL's? What do your Doctors say? Never mind The Guy who "is just like you." Do they believe, do you believe, you can generate enough compensatory actions to get around many of The Problems. If you can show them enough "Work-Arounds," they will pay attention! They want you to achieve as much as possible, and usually nobody is that concerned about how you get there.

Last item...I know it's tough to talk to your Nurses, but we are taught to understand these things. If you speak up and ask for "a little more time and privacy, cause' I'm Transgendered and need to dress up." She/He will listen, understand, and give you some space, probably even assist you. We realize that sexuality doesn't go away, often right through old age. And, I would think about 99% of us wouldn't care about your transgendered status.

Life hasn't dealt you a great hand, but your brain appears to be excellent, and you can certainly have a full and interesting life. I think if you choose to live that life transgendered, you can accomplish a great deal of what you want to do.

Peace and Love, Joanie
Where you said, “You are transgendered…” it kind of felt weird. Not in a weird way, but an eye-opening kind of way.

As for coming out to nurses, I have no desires to do that. I’d rather learn to take care of my bowel and bladder issues and not have to come out to anyone, just be able to enjoy my dressing in my own home. I have the courage to go out in public en femme and meet other transgendered people. My doctor hasn’t really voiced an opinion on independence yet. For me, I believe anything is possible. Something I believe is that if I can reach it, it’s possible. I’ve impressed myself with what I can accomplish thus far and don’t really see why I cant be fully independent. It’s all about manipulating or adapting things so I can do it.

It’s a frustrating thing to have to rely on other people to take care of your basic hygiene needs and bowel and bladder things. If I learned to catheterize myself, there wouldn’t be any worry of when and where I have to meet someone for a simple bathroom visit. “This other guy” that is a C5 quadriplegic can take care of himself, so why wouldn’t I be able to when I have more function? I see it as a learning issue. All I have to do is learn how to do these things. Sammons & Preston has many aides to daily living that I would benefit from. Button and zipper pullers, bra strap holders, pantyhose donners, endless amounts of shower equipment, house care adapters…the list goes on.

And yes I know about sexual capabilities…and I know of a person that talks to disabled people about sex. I’d love to talk to her about transgendered stuff…but I’m not anywhere near a face to face consult about crossdressing…