first rude comment from stranger.

[skirtsuit]

Personally, I wouldn't bother saying anything.

What I would do is stand proudly, smile and stare at them so that they know you're listening. This is especially fun when you see one person nudge another and wisper because you know that the other person will turn to look - they usually get embarrased and turn away quickly. It's a little game, a way of telling people you know they know and you don't care.

One thing to remember is that the woman, however rude it might be to say it out loud, was telling the truth!

All the Best,

Ann / SS, a proud 'man in a dress'

[Larissa Philips]

I'd like to add to this thread, but from the other side...

I was 15 and had been at my first job as a bag-boy with the local supermarket for 2 weeks. I was fresh out of my 2nd purge at this time as well. So I'm standing at the front of the store by myself as it was slow for me and I see this woman walk up to a register. But then things start ticking, and I realized she was actually a he! It didn't take long though for this realization as she was far from passable, but since I had been living in my own Larissa-esque world up to this point with absolutely no knowledge of cd's/tv's/ts's I did what was in my blood - I stared. I wasn't open mouth gawking, but I just watched. None of the other people said or reacted differently, but I just stared. At some point she noticed and as she was tucking her hair behind her hair she gave me the finger.

I had a total "wtf? She flipped me off" moment and I've kept that in my head since.

[Sandra]

Ignoring them was a good thing, also when things like this happen try to smile back at them as it throws them off balance as they really don't know what to ay next. If people see that it bothers you then they will do it more, but if they that your don't care, then most times, not always, they shut up.

[melissacd]

I agree with the humour and kindness approach. The of the matter truth is that you do have a dingy, why deny it. Be proud of who you are and the courage that it takes to be yourself out in public.

Never defend or deny, go with the flow, disarm with humour and kindness, perhaps you will educate a few people along the way.

[DiannaRose]

Sorry you had to hear that. Usually, people comment out loud because they are insecure with themselves and feel threatened in some way. Ignore her, she's not worth the worry.

Tina says what I was going to. I think people are more obnoxious and rude when they're not so settled in their own heads as they'd like to think. Did her companion say anything? Did anyone around say anything? Clearly this woman had some issues with herself that she can't reconcile in her own head. She's the broken one here.

That's not to say we won't run into people like that in the world. Like Tina says, we need to do our best to just ignore them (and hope they go away)

[Diane Elizabeth]

how about a reply of "Real humans would keep their opinions to themselves" or maybe insert something else for "humans" .

[Sara82]

I agree with the humour and kindness approach. The of the matter truth is that you do have a dingy, why deny it. Be proud of who you are and the courage that it takes to be yourself out in public.

Never defend or deny, go with the flow, disarm with humour and kindness, perhaps you will educate a few people along the way.

I'm not denying what I have in my pants, I think its just rude that anyone would point out something like that in public, whether a person appears to be different or not.

[sherri]

You'd be surprised how much kindness can disarm people. And before you know it, you've dispelled their misconceptions about you, and possibly made knew friends.

This scenario might be idealistic, but on the other hand, it might have gotten positive results. It is difficult to be acerbic to someone who is being friendly.

Absolutely right. Sure it might be a long shot, but it's sorta like being in sales, working the percentages. Sooner or later you're gonna connect with someone, and all the misses have cost you is foregoing the rather hollow gratification of tit for tat, plus you never know what the long-term benefit of diplomacy might be. In my own experiences I may not have ever turned the other cheek to open hostility, but responding with patience and graciousness to negativity and snarkiness has paid off many times.

Plus, the snappy comebacks never occur to me 'til later.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I have noticed that in cases where folks read us or its obvious we're trans that we are immediately dehumanized... much worse that other groups...i have been touched more than once and asked, are those real? or touched and told, i can't beleive you're a guy!..

has this happened to you ?

[maggiecdva]

I've never experienced a rude comment but once when I was out in drab at a Kohl's department store I was walking through the mens clothing section when I over heard 2 women commenting on a man's shirt.

One woman said they are bluring the lines again while looking a the shirt. Since this Kohl's was outside of my immediate area I decided to have some fun. I walked over and said isn't it great .... I now feel comfortable weaing women's clothing ... I proceeded to show them the womens blouse I had in my cart.

They sort of looked at me and I think were speachless. I would have loved to over hear their further comments but I decided I probably caused enough problems for 1 day.

Hugs - Maggie

[Jason+]

You've all noticed there is no shortage of ignorant people in the world, and that's a lesson I learned long before I left grade school or had the slightest interest in so much as a pair of panties.

I favor the Phineas and Ferb approach to having a dingy. With a completely straight face and direct eye contact: "why yes, yes I do."

One of the rare times I've been out of the house in more than nail polish was in Vegas. I chose a t-shirt and denim skirt with some black wedge sandals. One woman shouted out nice skirt in a sarcastic tone. I figured the best response was Thanks and to keep on walking.

[sometimes_miss]

"I bet she had a d*ck cause she was acting like one". Ahem, anyways.....best thing to do enfemme is avoid confrontation. Thats my philosophy. I always have thoughts of things getting ugly, ya know, like wigs flying off, and breast forms getting pulled out. So I tend to ignore douches........

I'd have to second that thought. I grew up with an ugly birthmark on my face, and had to listen to all kinds of remarks from other children as well as adults. After a few fights, and losing, I learned that it simply isn't worth it, because they won't change what they think, no matter what you say to them; in fact, to the contrary, any confrontation will just make them dislike you (and other crossdressers) more. Better to just leave it be. My consolation is similar to the old drunk/ugly remark. Yes, right now I'm dressed unusually for my gender, but the other person is an asshole. Tomorrow, I can be my 'normal' self to the rest of the entire world, but 'they' will still be an asshole.

[Nigella23]

I'm sorry this happened to you. I would agree with Karen, it's actually safer just to walk on and pretend you heard nothing.
To add a little perspective, there has been many times I have been openly insulted by complete strangers in public without provacation simply because of how I look. Sadly, this has happened whilst not dressed enfemme, or for any particular reason apart from they think I'm ugly. I don't look like John Merrick, don't have any disfigurement or disability, I'm happily married, and before settling down dated lots of girls, so when it happens it does come as a bit of a shock, I always put it down to peoples ignorance and lack of manners. Sometimes people are just plain rude, and really not worth your time and thoughts. You look beautiful to me, don't let them get to you.

[Kate17]

OK girls, sure you should be non confrontational but every now and then it is fun to turn the tables. Like when a female yelled OMG its a man ! Response: while smiling, Gee, I thought you were too!!

[jenna_woods]

I am sorry that has happened to you, we try and say thse things don't bother us but they do, yes people can be so rude,

[Jezebella]

"It's not a dinghy, it's a battleship."

The trouble with life is that the snappy comebacks usually don't come to us until later, unlike in the sitcoms where they've been prepared ahead of time.

I agree that ignoring rude people is probably the better way to go. Most of the time the lack of a response annoys them more than any possible reaction.

It's sad, though, that grown people behave like this. For years I'd thought once I made it out of high school that such behavior would become a thing of the past. It's been disappointing to discover a fair number of adults still have childish mentalities.

[sherri52]

She probably overheard you ordering. Some of us give it away when we talk (me). If you don't have a femme voice then she overheard you.

[theresa]

I suppose we all have that day coming when some freakin' idiot will make some wisecrack like that. I hope this was the one and only day this happens to you.

[courtney briana]

congrats on being the bigger lady, its hard to get into a fight and harder to walk away without getting into one

some people are childish, immature, non-accepting, and will never GROW UP

[KarenHiller]

I have noticed that in cases where folks read us or its obvious we're trans that we are immediately dehumanized... much worse that other groups...i have been touched more than once and asked, are those real? or touched and told, i can't beleive you're a guy!..

has this happened to you ?

I know what you mean about being groped. A woman friend saw me dressed at a party, and smiled and squeezed my breasts, which were only partly false, and said, "Nice boobs."

I returned the favor and groped hers, saying, "Thanks, I like yours too." She seemed shocked but didn't complain, and I didn't either.

Karen

[Brooke Smith]

Remember,when you wrestle with pigs,all you get is dirty and the pig likes it.

[Jennifer Marie P.]

You did the right thing just avoided it and theres one in every crowd.

[Ineta]

At least she used the right pronoun.

[melissacd]

I'm not denying what I have in my pants, I think its just rude that anyone would point out something like that in public, whether a person appears to be different or not.

Fair enough Julia, point taken. My apologies if any offense taken because none was intended.

[kellyanne]

So I was standing in line at subway today at work, and these two women were being loud and obnoxious. Then while i'm ordering my sub, the one woman looks me up and down, then says to her friend "She's got a dingy". She was literally standing 5 feet away from me too.

I didn't say anything or look at her, but it really bothered me. Then as i was walking back to my office, I see the two ladies standing near the elevator, and she says it again!.

People are so ignorant...

I have never met a GG that fully accepts a CD .


Selfishness is the enemy of tolerance - we should accept a man or a woman as who they wish to be.

Why is it my loss because you desire your lawful freedom ?

It is not - everyone has the right to be who they are.

They used to call it Liberty.