Realization

[Lorileah]

They say that the best part of banging your head against the wall is when you realize how good it feels when you stop. I reached that point.

You see I thought it was all about being accepted and respected for who you are. I thought that was the goal. I was wrong. And I have found out that I could not possibly understand.

It has been suggested that since I am not a member of a certain group, then I should not promote getting rights and respect for that group because I could not possibly understand what people in that group feel. They are correct, I don't know what they feel, but I do know when I se them being kept apart and not having rights that I should step in. Well I did. But maybe not anymore. My head hurts. It hurts because I thought maybe I could be a voice. Maybe I could make a small difference. Silly of me isn't it? What can one person do? Especially when the majority ofthe people who you are trying to stand up for don't really want your support. Don't rock the boat. Don't make waves.

As transgenders you put yourself in a minority situation. Now no one logically would want to do that, so we make the point that "we" have something that makes us be in this group. But you can't use certain facilities in some areas. If you are a TS in some states you cannot marry a man even after you have SRS OR you can't stay married to your female spouse. Some places can fire you for being TG or not hire you. The original ENDA law didn't include you. So I say we need a voice. I am told, "don't tell me what to do". I don't see how blending into the wall paper will get anyone equal footing but if that is what the majority wants, it is a democracy. So, OK. The light came on. I am in a situation where I have little to worry about. I can marry. I can get benefits for my spouse. I can get a loan, a car, a boat. I can go to PTA meetings. I have it good. I can pretty much do what I like. But I am told that since I am not a member of a group I should not fight for their rights because I "would not understand".

So I won't. At least for a few days until I see that someone isn't getting a fair deal, then I'll probably jump back in. But I still won't understand.

[GaleWarning]

Who's in and who's out?
I thought we were all in this together.
United we stand, divided we fall.
That kind of thing ...

Do they know it's Christmas?

[Nicole Erin]

why in the heck would someone say you should not be there trying to help the fight?

[SuzanneBender]

Don't you ever stop fighting for "human" rights. This issue goes beyond CD, TG, TS, GLBT, Race, Creed, Color, sex, age you name it. Its about everyone of us being treated the same.

Unfrotunately for many it is easy to go silent or just take the dress off and blend in. The world will not change until we stop settling for blending and start settling for being. It takes all of our voices to be heard.

Heres a big cyber hug and I will gladly pound my head on the wall along side you. If we pound loud enough maybe someone will here us knocking and open their hearts and minds to our cause.

[carolinoakland]

I always remember... " The universe doesn't care if I save it, or not." Doesn't mean I can't, but I can't do it because of what anyone else says. I protested the anti gay marriage bill not because of gay rights. I didn't like setting the precident of a majority voting away the rights of a minority. What's next? Mississipi voting slavery back in? Equal Rights are just that... EQUAL.

[GypsyKaren]

But I am told that since I am not a member of a group I should not fight for their rights because I "would not understand".

This isn't what you were told, what was said was that people have the right to live their lives without anyone else putting any sort of obligations on them. I also missed the part where you said that you'd be doing any fighting, all I saw was you telling others that they have to do it, please let me know if I missed something.

Karen

[Samantha Girl]

Lorileah, I personally believe you are the perfect spokesperson for a myriad of issues!

The people you speak of who don't seem to want your help will regret it. I say you see something wrong in the world, some unfair practice, and you stand by, than you are no better than the oppressors. Stand up for what you believe in!

[Andy66]

This isn't what you were told, what was said was that people have the right to live their lives without anyone else putting any sort of obligations on them.

I believe Gypsy Karen is correct.

For what it's worth, I agree with you that people should pitch in and try to improve the world, but everyone has a different temperament and approaches situations differently. Not everyone is cut out to be the same sort of activist you are or want them to be.

[Kate Simmons]

It's obvious to me who cares and who doesn't Hon. Some folks just have a different approach to things.

[Stephanie Stephens]

Lorileah; May I tell you a short story? My father took up a cause for a group of people who were put out of their homes in a trailer park which had been tagged and slated for demolition by the city. They were not provided with and relocation money. This was the basis of the law suit. At the time I did not understand my father for jeopardizing his reputation on behalf of a bunch of "drug using trailer trash". I would not have lifted a finger for these people. It was not the individuals he was fighting for, it was their "rights". He won, and I love him for it.

Please don't ever stop Lorileah.....

[Karren H]

I get so fed up with people whining about how bad they have it. If people don't want help and are to lame or lazy or what ever to help themselves... That's their prolblem... I think they love to wallow in their own self pitty!!

[DiannaRose]

yeah...seems like a bit of "I don't want your help because then the problem might get fixed and then I won't be able to whine about needing help any more."

Lori, you were trying to reflect a little light into a dark corner. I think perhaps the dwellers of that dark place have eyes that can't bear the light.

God bless you for trying! You continue to follow your heart on all matters, and let the rest of the world deal with it or not as they see fit.

[sterling12]

EVERYONE, and I mean everyone is needed for The Fight! Lori, your reasonably intelligent, you write well, you have the rare ability to examine and to heal, situations and animals. You are important!

Others who come on here and say things like, "don't speak for me," or "who asked you to fight for My Rights," are exercising their God-Given Talent to be stupid!

Please don't let cynicism or ignorance bring you down. At times a struggle can cause you to get down and become depressed. Others have faced the same challenges, and because of their dedication we have made huge progress!

Not everyone gets to be a Freedom Rider in Alabama, but each of us does what we can, and faces our own crisis with dignity and valor.

Don't let "Opinions" stand in your way.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Kaitlyn Michele]

This is hilarious

you could not have it more backwards and I am sorry that you don't understand why people might take offense with being told what to do by someone who has no clue what they are going through.

[dancinginthedark]

And I don't get people who post looking for support when only some of the facts are given. Not much good ever comes of it and ladies if you have something you need to work out we have a perfectly lovely PM system just right for those private conversations.



So ladies say Good night. It's the holiday season; lets not start any petty she said she said and my feelings are hurt or so misunderstood threads.

Line forms here for coco.