enjoying your comfort zone in public once you find it

[jenniferishappy]

i know this is not a new story, but it was the plethora of these kind of stories on this site that has taken me from someone who did not even know where s/he stood with dressing to someone who now has a had time even contmeplating putting on mens clothes outside of work where i wear pressed clothes and a tie (when im not behind a movie camera, which has been all boy casual up to now, but thats going to change a bit too!). so here is another positive review on the big world outside of our closets:

i was in a chain grocery store the other night and it was pretty slow. i found myself in an isle with a woman, probably around mid 50's, dressed nicely but not dressed up. it was only the two of us in the bread isle. naturally i ended up in the same spot. upon looking down i suspected she was wearing the same cute basic black girls shoes with a little velcro strap across the top (a closed toe shoe) with a 2" heel or so from kohls (best store in the world?)
after getting a good look i said 'i like your shoes' and pulled up the flared leg on my girls jeans i had on to display the identical shoe. she got a big smile and was very surprised- i mean it was a look as if someone just handed her a basket of kittens. she didnt really know what to say, but laughed a genuine laugh and couldnt get the smile off her face. i said 'arent they comfortable?'. she replies they certainly are. i told her she had good taste and left it at that. it was the first encounter i have ever had with anyone regarding what i am wearing in public. i am sure she has told the story to several people at least since. somehow i suspect it was easy for her to enjoy it since i was dressed some what fem but not trying to 'look like a girl' (i dont try to bring attention to myself the couple times i have ventured out fully dressed, not that there is anything wrong with that). i had a girls necklace with a pendant, girls jeans, a nice red shirt with no collar, a hair clip in the back holding some of my long hair back, opaque fingernail polish. just some very light pink lip gloss if noticeable at all. a little spray of body scent. aaanndddd...I ALSO GREETED HER WITH A BIG SMILE!! very important! this level of dressing is how i am most comfortable in public at this point and i have been shocked to find how little people even seem to notice. if they do they dont say anything, but i really think they just dont notice or care. and for all of those not living in portland, austin or LA, keep in mind i am currently working out of town in ohio in a pretty tough town and this has been my experience over and over. back home in oregon will be a cinch after this! the fear really, really, REALLY is mostly in the head. i now know that since i havent gone out in mens clothes in over a month now.

so i recommend the best way to go is take it slow and make sure you are enjoying the way you look and not nervous. and besides, there is plenty of time to ramp up. why not enjoy the slow buildup if that is more your thing? besides, it gives me something to look forward to. like the opposite of a good strip tease!! my goodness, i am so glad i found this fourm and didnt wait any longer to let jennifer out. i thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart. you all are why i was able to make the big step out.

[Sara82]

Hi Jenn,
I enjoyed reading your post. I'm very much like you in that I have a very watered down wardrobe that I now incorporate into every aspect of my daily routine, including work. It's definately keeps me in my comfort zone as you say. I don't really have the desire to wear a dress or throw on high-heels, but I'm certainly not opposed to it, and there is a time and place for every outfit

I usually keep the over-the-top outfits for the club, and my day to day clothes more similiar to the casual girl look, with my own little twist on it. It works out, and i'm still not always 100% comfortable in all social situations, but everything is a process.

good luck to you though, and happy holidays!

[linnea]

Very nice experience and approach to comfort

[Nicole Erin]

Yeah it gets easier.
Of course there will always be SOMEone who has something rude to say but the majority of people don't notice or care.

At first you are constantly aware of "I am wearing this or that!" but after a time, you don't even think about it.
I will admit, I still have a little bit of nervousness to shed. It just takes going out and living your life as you are.

I guess it is true that what draws negative reactions is not so much how you are dressed but how you act.

But yeah, it is good you are getting comfy in your femme personna.

[Marcie4you]

I guess other women complimenting me in their restroom, is not worth mentioning!

[charlie]

Hello Jenifer!
I too like going out and about; however, I just have to wear a skirt or dress to feel "good". I tried the skinny jeans, thick tights under a short blouse and no heels, but I didn't feel good. So I over dress everywhere and probably get "made" much more then if I dressed like most women on the planet. I just love the dress, heels, jewelery and full makeup and wig thing!

[jenniferishappy]

I guess other women complimenting me in their restroom, is not worth mentioning!

you just did!!

[DanaR]

................................................. So I over dress everywhere and probably get "made" much more then if I dressed like most women on the planet. I just love the dress, heels, jewelery and full makeup and wig thing!

Charlie,

I think that this is one of the problems that we encounter, over dressing. I love to get all dressed up as well, but if you go anywhere and look, most GG's that are all dressed up will be getting a lot of attention. So if you want to blend, dress more casual and most people won't even notice.

[jenniferishappy]

another thing for me is the full monte takes so long to get looking really nice, i am careful how much time i get coaxed into spending getting fully primped. its great i agree, but i can see it getting out of hand. from a lot of the posts here it seems a lot of the girls have a part time job invested in dressing!

[DanaR]

another thing for me is the full monte takes so long to get looking really nice, i am careful how much time i get coaxed into spending getting fully primped. its great i agree, but i can see it getting out of hand. from a lot of the posts here it seems a lot of the girls have a part time job invested in dressing!

Years ago I decided that I was going to Esprit (a TG convention in Washington), and several days later I came to the realization that I didn't have clothes to last for 5 days. My wife helped me put together a couple of outfits and I haven't looked back since. It costs a lot to be a girl, you just can't wear the same outfit everyday; like guys do.

What I've learned about getting ready is that it will take me about 1 1/2 hours to get ready and my wife will only take 5 minutes. My wife has gone out with me a couple of times, I'll be getting ready and she is reading a book. Somehow, she is ready when I am.

[lingerieLiz]

Over the years I've had ggs notice that I'm wearing the same thing as they are. All have been pleasant experiences. The funniest experience was when a woman ran up to me and told me that we were dressed alike. It surprised me since I was in guy mode. We both had on the same make and color of men's shirts and our pants were the same color and brand. She was a very pretty blond enjoying the festival with her husband. I don't think she had that much wine yet, but we had fun talking to them.

[Rachel Morley]

This is a great post. I love your attitude to dressing girly but not exactly going fully en femme. I especially liked it when you said: "... take it slow and make sure you are enjoying the way you look and not nervous." Great advice! I find that it is possible to still feel feminine and be in public without going the whole 9 yards.