What is Passing anyway???

[Raychel]

So lately I have been reading all the "passing" threads. Gets me thinking. So eating my lunch, sitting outside the store today, Just watching the people come and go. Especially the women, Studing the look. Just what is needed to pass.

Well I have come to discover that just about anything goes, As long as it isn't a skirt or dress. Always wear pants.

One lady went into the store, dressed in what appeared to be mens jeans, work boots, definitly a mens jacket. and a knit pullover hat. Other then the fact that I saw her face and the long blonde hair from under the hat. From the back you would never know this person was female.

So if that is really what is passing, I am not sure that I am all that interested.

So just what is Crossdressing anyway??
And do you really need to go to the ladies dept to buy the clothes for the look?

Just what is you thoughts on all of this?

[kellycan27]

So lately I have been reading all the "passing" threads. Gets me thinking. So eating my lunch, sitting outside the store today, Just watching the people come and go. Especially the women, Studing the look. Just what is needed to pass.

Well I have come to discover that just about anything goes, As long as it isn't a skirt or dress. Always wear pants.

One lady went into the store, dressed in what appeared to be mens jeans, work boots, definitly a mens jacket. and a knit pullover hat. Other then the fact that I saw her face and the long blonde hair from under the hat. From the back you would never know this person was female.

So if that is really what is passing, I am not sure that I am all that interested.

So just what is Crossdressing anyway??
And do you really need to go to the ladies dept to buy the clothes for the look?

Just what is you thoughts on all of this?

You obviously knew that she was a woman. You are going to hear a lot of opinions on what passing means, but if you take the literal, it means ( for a cd) having think people think you are a woman. Passing is subjective.
hope this helps.
Kel

[SweetCaroline]

For me, passing is not caring what anyone else thinks. Life is too short to worry about such things anyways.

[Karren H]

Passing is when you die.... Everything up to that point is just part of the act..

[Miranda09]

I thought passing is what the quarterback does!!

[Terrihoney]

I lady does not 'pass', at least in public.

I know what you mean, for everyday shopping and going about, most women don't dress the part and certainly don't have the 'walk'. It's the body size and proportion that makes us a bit suspect. If I could just throw on the forms,clothes and wig and off I go, what would be the thrill?

My femme side is not just me in a dress, I am a different personna. I view the world through different eyes. That's the fun.

Hugs, Terri

[Karen564]

Passing is what I do when I'm driving past the slowpoke on the road.....lol

[DanaR]

Passing is when a woman dresses in men clothes and no one cares or notices; but if a male wears woman's clothes, it's a problem, everyone will notice.

[Kate Simmons]

Much ado about nothing for the most part. Being yourself and enjoying that is the main thing.

[Sallee]

I like that

that is acceptable to

[Raychel]

For me, passing is not caring what anyone else thinks. Life is too short to worry about such things anyways.

It seems like that is the best way to play the part..

Passing is when you die.... Everything up to that point is just part of the act..

I like the show Karen you play the Act well.

I thought passing is what the quarterback does!!

Now a lady wouldn't be talking footbal at a time like this...

Much ado about nothing for the most part. Being yourself and enjoying that is the main thing.

I think this is the best way to look at it Denise.



All great responses.

[sandra-leigh]

My thoughts on this topic is that it is treading dangerously close to criticizing the average woman for not wearing "feminine" clothes -- a criticism that would not be permitted by the site rules.

[Raychel]

I certainly am not trying to criticize anyone for what they wear. But more to emphazize about wearing what you are comfortable in. This is what the general population seems to be doing from what I have observed.

So if you feel best in jeans or whatever, No-one seems to notice or even care, Just relax and enjoy life.

[sandra-leigh]

I certainly am not trying to criticize anyone for what they wear.

I am having difficulty reconciling that with the part of your posting that went,

So if that is really what is passing, I am not sure that I am all that interested.

I've been known to be thick-headed before, so perhaps I am misreading something here.

[Raychel]

Sorry Sandra, The words don't alwaya come out of my brain right sometimes. I have the same problem in real life sometimes too.

What I am trying to say is that I would much rather be wearing a formal dress, then passing in a crowd in jeans and a sweatshirt. I can wear them anyday. What is so special about that. So I guess I will never realy fit in anywhere. I had pretty much accepted that anyway.

I certainly never meaned to critisize or put anyone down. and I am very sorry if that is the way it sounded.

[Nicole Erin]

Passing is when you die.... Everything up to that point is just part of the act..

So the car batteries that have died on me, did they pass away?

Passing is when they think you are a woman.

Of course it depends on the level of scrutiny. The more contact, the harder it is.
Say like someone glances at you as you are going by - Easy to pass.
If they have a few moments to study you - Gets harder.
Carrying on a conversation and still passing - very difficult, femme voice or not.
Being intimate - Unless you are post-op, gotta be REAL careful.

And for the clothing - well, women often wear pants/slacks/jeans.
I mean come on, women don't wear skirts or dresses much.
However, if you do wear them, make sure they are about knee length, cause a short dress/skirt will draw a lot more attention.

I am more TS than CD but my take on clothing - CD'ing is technically when a male presents as a woman. Everything from camp-drag to the everyday conservative look. My typical "femme" look would be a nice top, slacks, and flats. Probably with at least some makeup.

But what is the best way to CD? Well, slacks or skirt, tank or tee, just make sure your clothing is at least pretty. Wearing your nascar tee just doesn't cut it for CD'ing.

All these gender rules for clothing and how so many people break them, it does get confusing like "what the hell is CD'ing anyways?"
Have you seen some of the new women's clothes that are "boyfriend" shirts or perhaps the nylon briefs for men?

Gyod where is this gender boundry? Ahh F-it, just dress as you feel comfy

[Bridget Fitzgerald]

It is the theoretical scenario that one has blended in so well that no one can tell regardless of the proximity. It's also an issue that makes other trans people throw hissy fits at its mention as if it were a judgment on them. Thus it is the ultimate sin to use the term as it is taboo.

[Shikyo]

Passing...passing, where have I heard this before. Oh right, I pass people when I walk outside, in a store or wherever there are people, isn't this already "passing?

Fine, fine...I'll cut out the (bad) jokes. I think passing has much to do with self-confidence instead of the way you look. By being nervous you will get much more attention when you're being self-confident. With more attention the risk of someone noticing that not everything is out of the ordinary is much higher. With less attention it's easier to hide among the masses. No one really pays all that much attention to someone that just passes by on the street or inside a store. Why should they unless there is clearly something strange about that person like a man with beard and female clothing.

The other problem is inside your head. When I first started going outside and later on when I started living full time I had the feeling everyone new as people were looking at me. However, not even once anyone said anything nor were there any laughter or anything else. What I'm trying to say by telling you all this is that even if people look at you it's far from being "caught". Another example is that sometimes people start to look at me longer than usual, so far only females, and I'm wondering what is wrong with my face but in the end they were only curious about my hair style instead and were trying to get a better look at it.

My thoughts on this topic is that it is treading dangerously close to criticizing the average woman for not wearing "feminine" clothes -- a criticism that would not be permitted by the site rules.

But wearing too feminine clothes is not good either, at least in some peoples opinions. I had a guy, a regular customer at the place where I work, come to me and asked if I were a guy. As it's none of his business what my birth sex was, I denied being a male but throughout this conversation it turned out that he asked me that because he had seen me walking in outside with high heels, white stockings and a mini skirt.

[eluuzion]

Just what is needed to pass.

This is dependent upon the specific objective, relative to the specific context in which the "communication" occurs.

So just what is Crossdressing anyway??

This question is also not specific enough to me to offer any constructive feedback or reply. Similar to (what is life? what is living? what is right?).

I guess then, my only answer must be...

"It is what is seen throught the eyes of the beholder"...or in many cases..."through the eyes of the beerholder

Just what is you thoughts on all of this?

Interesting area but the questions require more information to determine which reply would be relevant.

Nothing personal or disrespectful intended, just being genuine.

[Raychel]

This is dependent upon the specific objective, relative to the specific context in which the "communication" occurs.

This question is also not specific enough to me to offer any constructive feedback or reply. Similar to (what is life? what is living? what is right?).

I guess then, my only answer must be...

"It is what is seen throught the eyes of the beholder"...or in many cases..."through the eyes of the beerholder



Interesting area but the questions require more information to determine which reply would be relevant.

Nothing personal or disrespectful intended, just being genuine.

All very good answers.

[Barbara918]

Just the word "passing" bothers me -- It sounds as if someone's handing out report cards.

[DAVIDA]

Hi Raychel!
Well, Passing is something that I will never be able to do.
So.....I don't try!
For me, dressing has nothing to do with passing. I mean, come on, a blind person can see that I am a man in women's clothing!
It has to do with how I feel, not what others perceive.

[msginaadoll]

I guess I have got to the point where I believe passing is when you are not called sir, or mister, or nobody shouts out "She's a man baby!" Also there is no snickering, laughing at, gesturing, or throwing of fruits or vegetables. Also no excessive staring unless of course you are wearing a fabulous outfit, and looking excessively beautiful. Oh Mr DeMille I'm ready for my closeup! If you are treated with respect(and hopefully like a lady- by that I mean called maam, miss, though honey or sweetie can be ok at times) and dignity then I think maybe that is passing to me.

[Rianna Humble]

I certainly am not trying to criticize anyone for what they wear.

I am having difficulty reconciling that with the part of your posting that went,

So if that is really what is passing, I am not sure that I am all that interested.

I've been known to be thick-headed before, so perhaps I am misreading something here.

I would say that it is more like being a little too thin skinned and reading insults where none exist than being thick headed.

I certainly never meant to criticize or put anyone down. and I am very sorry if that is the way it sounded.

Personally, I read it the way that you meant.

What I am trying to say is that I would much rather be wearing a formal dress, then passing in a crowd in jeans and a sweatshirt. I can wear them any day.

I agree with you, there's no point trying to "pass" by wearing something that does not express your true nature.

I have no difficulty with women who want to wear unisex clothing, but that sort of thing would not be me.

When I am out en femme, I want to be out en femme, not en androgyne.

[Jonianne]

.....I agree with you, there's no point trying to "pass" by wearing something that does not express your true nature.....

I know what you are saying and I agree with 'what's the point of crossdressing if you are not wearing what you want', but I also disagree somewhat.

The lady "passed" to Raychel because Raychel read her spirit, not her cloths.

I wear what I like to wear, but I also know I don't particulary "pass" when I am dressed. What makes me feel good is when I am get mam'ed while in drab. I keep my hair long and femme style and that happens several times a week now. They all recognise their mistake within moments and some begin to profusely apologize, so I know it doesn't take long to recognize my male face. But, for each of those times, someone for a moment saw me as a female and that brightens my day.

Even though I wasn't dressed in one of my jumper dresses I love and attempting to pass, it makes me feel even better when someone, even momentarly, sees and responds to the female part of who I am.