First Kathi Shopping Post of 2010

[Kathi Lake]

Ah, a new year. Can't you just smell the promise of a wonderful 365 days?! I know that I can't wait to start the year off right. How might I do that? Why, by shopping, of course! (insert collective, "Duh!" here).

When my work decided to send me to browner pastures (Las Vegas) for CES, I immediately started dreaming of the outfits I would bring. After talking with a few local girls, I sadly had to "dial it down a notch." Apparently, Vegas is the land of casualness. Great. Now what am I supposed to do with these pearls?!

The plane ride was uneventful, but I had two or three really cute girls staring at me and smiling while waiting at the gate. I usually don't get that. Of course, I'm usually not reading Kevin Aucoin's Making Faces right out in the open. Hmmm. I wonder if that had anything to do with it?

I landed in Vegas and went to the rental car aisle. I was allowed to pick my car from the entire row. Near the end, I see a cute silver-blue VW Bug! "Hi neighbor, can you say totally girly chick car? I knew that you could." I seriously almost squealed with girly glee. My first stop was the local Ulta as I always love making new friends in the world of makeup. This one had a brow bar, where they will hook you up with the girly pair of brows of your dreams. We chatted a bit about the process and she asked me if I'd like to try. I asked her what she thought of them as they were. She looked closer and said, "Wow. Nice arch placement. Good starting and stopping points. They look like they've recently been done. Who did them for you?" I told her that I had and that I've tried to keep them cleaned up and good for both male and female mode. She said I had done a great job and could go a bit thinner, but it might feminize my face a bit too much. I thanked her, picked up a few essentials, and was off to my next stop - a local nail salon.

Knowing that I wanted to have my nails look as pretty as possible, I had let them grow out quite a bit. The nail tech had no problems shaping them. She seemed a bit surprised when I asked to see the polish choices, but recovered nicely. We chose a nice deep red (OPI Red), and after a few times through the dryer/UV light, I was good to go.

I then went to check into my hotel. The lady at the desk complimented me on my nails and said that more men should take care of themselves, and wasn't a manicure great? I went up to my room and started in on my makeup. I was meeting Nora and a few other girls for dinner. As I said earlier, Vegas is a casual place, so I went with my Silver skinny jeans, a cute black and white patterned top, my new swingy cardigan (seriously adorable!) and my Anne Klein pumps. Yeah, yeah. I know. That's a bit more than casual - shoot me!

I pulled into the restaurant about 10 minutes early (as I tell my kids, if you're not 5-10 minutes early, you're late. Gee, if only my wife shared that opinion ). I walked in and the hostess greeted me. She asked how many in my party. I had no idea, so I waited in the comfy chairs up front. Eventually, Nora and the girls came in. We made introductions all around and were shown to our table. We had a great meal, chatting about our similarities, our differences, our backgrounds and our lives. I love meeting new people! The other ladies were good and ordered various salads. I, of course, ordered this prime rib sandwich that you had to eat with a knife and fork, and fries, and iced tea with so much sugar in it that you almost need an insulin shot soon after (my wife calls it "Brown KoolAid"). Hey, this freakish metabolism does not run on celery stalks!

I asked the girls if there was anything to do around there as it was nearing 9:30. There weren't many suggestions, so I went driving around the strip with my windows down and the radio blasting - me singing (badly) along with it. Did I get looks, glances, and stares. Oh yeah! I'm not sure how much of it was due to being a 46 year-old guy dressed as an early 20's girl from the pages of InStyle, but then again, I don't really care.

I then convinced a valet to let me park in front of Krave - a club that Nora had mentioned - for free (my God, the power in a simple pair of boobs - real or not ) and walked around the Miracle Mile shops. Sigh. Was I ever in my element! I will post how that went in my next part. Right now, I'm going to get a little work done, since I'm here for, you know, . . . work and stuff.

Kathi

[SuzanneBender]

ARRGH Vegas in a VW bug, an eyebrow bar, mani, dinner with the girls and a metobolism that lets you eat like a man. Kathi Lake I am sooo green with envy right now.

I am in Milwaukee and have not even gone shopping because it is too stinking cold to venture out of the hotel.

You are the guru of shopping girl!

[Kathi Lake]

Hey Suze! I was thinking of you last night. I imagined you, Sara Jessica, Veronica and me piling into the Bug and giving our credit cards a workout! Sigh. Can you dig it?

Kathi

[SuzanneBender]

I am digging it so much! What a ball would that be. Heck we could even use my bug its a convertible.

Although I would probably have to push you out the door for eating Roast Beef and drinking a real Coke in front of all of us poor slow metabolism gals that have to settle on crunching our celery.

We should plan a trip like one day. Without my cattiness about pushing you out of the car of course.

[SherriePall]

Kathi -- Why do I have a feeling of deja vu all over again? Only the names and places change. I love to shop, but finances right now keep me to the bargain basements!
I'm waiting for the rest of the story and pics.

[kellycan27]

When my work decided to send me to browner pastures (Las Vegas) for CES, I immediately started dreaming of the outfits I would bring. After talking with a few local girls, I sadly had to "dial it down a notch." Apparently, Vegas is the land of casualness. Great. Now what am I supposed to do with these pearls?Kathi

Kathi....
I don't know who gave you this little tid bit of info, but the next time you go to Las Vegas..look around in the clubs and casinos. You will see that dress ranges from very casual to very formal or in between. People can be just gambling, or could have just attended a wedding. Shorts and sandals to formal gowns..it's all good in Las Vegas! Wear your peals proudly girl!
Kel

[Kathi Lake]

I am digging it so much! What a ball would that be. Heck we could even use my bug its a convertible.

Squeeeeeee!!! Fer cute! (it's a Utah expression. Forgive me). My gosh, is there a car around that is any girlier than VW Bug convertible? That trip sounds great!

Kathi -- Why do I have a feeling of deja vu all over again? Only the names and places change. I love to shop, but finances right now keep me to the bargain basements!
I'm waiting for the rest of the story and pics.

Yeah, I know. I know. What can I say, I love to shop! Sounds like it's about time to circle the chairs around and utter that famous phrase, "Hello, my name is Kathi, and I am a shopaholic." I hope I'm not being redundant - or redundant - in my posts.

In the interest of brevity (and yes, I'm laughing now right along with you), I omitted lots of stuff - like firing up the epilator and getting rid of the hand hair and trimming the bushes of my arms, bleaching the rest of the arm hair, going back to the nail place to show the nail techs what I looked like dressed, going to the drugstore to get shampoo (honestly, a hotel that doesn't provide shampoo? What's up with that?!), and lots more stuff. Like I said in an earlier post, if I told you everything that went on during one of my shopping days, I would type all the letters right off my keyboard - and I'm a hunt & peck typist!

Aaaaanyway, let's get to the fun stuff - the shopping!! I walked into the shops at the Miracle Mile. What store should I see first? bebe!! I went in to a cheery "Hey girl! A pause, and then a "Dayummmm! You look great, girl! I have never seen legs that long. And do you ever eat?" We laughed and she ( a really cute girl from what sounded like straight out of Atlanta) asked me what I was looking for. I said I was just browsing and looking for something that could make my shapeless body look good. She kind of raised one eyebrow and said, "Girl, you would look good in a paper grocery sack." She then asked me if I wanted to try on something hot. I said I was hers to command. She said, "You got that right! Follow me, delicious."

We stopped at a rack and she said to not just stand there, but put out my arms. She looked me over, shook her head and left the size 8 area and started flipping through the 0's and 2's. She muttered something about how girls like me gave "real" girls fits. She asked me if I was one of Frank's girls. I looked puzzled. She said, "Frank Marino. The drag show. Aren't you a professional impersonator?" I think my braying, donkey-like laugh both let anyone near the store know that I was a guy, and let her know that I was definitely not a "pro." I told her that I was just a tourist and a just a guy having fun. She said that they sold to a lot of Frank's girls, and that I should seriously look into doing it. She then looked (stared, actually) at my chest. She asked me if they were real or implants. I said they were just breast forms. She didn't look convinced. She said, "Do this" and shook her chest from side to side (a very pleasing sight!). I repeated the movement and got another "Dayummmmm!" and a "Your girls sure look real to me." Now usually, SAs are quite open to me. They seem to maybe instinctually trust me as if they knew I wasn't a threat (I'm not. Honest!) and treat me nicely. Rarely have I met a SA as "open" as this one. I liked it!! I don't know if I should put it down to her personality, or being in Vegas, or possible on-the-job drinking, but I loved the give-and-take of this girl!

Anyway, after chatting a bit about my style preferences (I said "librarian-like." She said, "Well then, you're gong to be one hot librarian!"), we found a few more items and I went back to the dressing rooms. It was a cacophony of loud music, women chatting, hangers screeching along racks, curtains being flipped open, and the beautiful sound of heels striking marble tile. Beethoven wrote some lovely pieces, but to me, nothing - absolutely nothing - compares with this sound.

The first thing I tried on was a sleeveless halter top with a high collar that buttoned in the back. It had a ribbon tie and hit me just above the waistline of my jeans. I told her of my ugly "man-arms" and she had brought a translucent black three-quarter sleeve top. Not bad, but not a winner. Next was a short black and silver patterned skirt with the same top combo. Boy, I was glad that I was freshly epilated and had worn hose! As I clicked out to the mirror in that outfit, I got one jaw-drop, one laugh and an "Oh my God!", and two compliments on my legs/outfit. I teasingly asked one of the girls if it made my butt look too big. She laughed and said, "I wish it did! You are too cute! I would die for those legs, and your figure, and . . ." Then she sighed and went back to her room - probably thinking of carrots and celery for lunch for the next month.

The SA told me that she was getting off, and had really enjoyed helping me, and was handing me off to Mei (at least, I think that was her name). Mei, while not the exact opposite, did treat me a bit "colder" than the previous SA (I never got her name). I tried on what was in the room, but nothing really caught my eye, and Mei didn't really have her heart in in when she checked in on me. You know what a "cheerleader compliment" is? That's when someone gives you a "Good job!" or "You look great in that" and you believe them about as much as you would if it were delivered by a cheerleader/PR-type of person. In other words, all smile and no heart.

So, I left the sexy racks (hey, get your minds out of the gutter!) and marble tiles of the bebe store - off to wander around the rest of the mall. I'll continue it in the next post.

Kathi

[Persephone]

ARRGH Vegas in a VW bug, an eyebrow bar, mani, dinner with the girls and a metobolism that lets you eat like a man. Kathi Lake I am sooo green with envy right now.

Not to mention being at CES! We used to go, years ago, but they got so annoying with rules, regulations, and requirements that we stopped.

I think you should schedule at least one day to hit the floor en femme. That's something I always wanted to do, and never had a chance to do, back in the days when we went. I used to love watching the women in business skirts and heels and wondering if the miles of exhibits were different for them.

It is a pretty male dominated event, so it would really be fun to find out if your boobs can get you freebies as well as free parking.

Gopher it girl!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[SIZE="2"]This post is intended to provide general comments rather than specific advice; individuals should not act on on any possibly perceivable concepts within this post without further reflection upon the nature of their own involvement with any persons, organizations, or entities who may be responsive to their actions. [/SIZE]

[Kathi Lake]

I think you should schedule at least one day to hit the floor en femme. That's something I always wanted to do, and never had a chance to do, back in the days when we went. I used to love watching the women in business skirts and heels and wondering if the miles of exhibits were different for them.

Actually, I am here to be one of the "booth babes" as we call them, and probably won't get the opportunity to walk the floor. The girl coordinating our booth tried to goad me into dressing up after I said that we had too many guys and not enough women in the booth. She even sent me a girl's uniform (black cami and cardigan) along with my guy's shirts saying, "Come on. It's Vegas. Be creative!" Ah, if only she knew the whole story (then again, with my big-mouthed admin, maybe she does ). And if only I wasn't working with my direct manager and others I work with on a daily basis. Sigh.

Kathi

[Persephone]

The girl coordinating our booth tried to goad me into dressing up after I said that we had too many guys and not enough women in the booth. She even sent me a girl's uniform (black cami and cardigan) along with my guy's shirts saying, "Come on. It's Vegas. Be creative!" Ah, if only she knew the whole story (then again, with my big-mouthed admin, maybe she does ). And if only I wasn't working with my direct manager and others I work with on a daily basis. Sigh. Kathi

Sheesh! I seriously am not sure I could handle peer pressure like that without caving! Would try to say it was a joke, or a way to attract traffic to the booth, or something like that, but that female uniform staring me in the face would drive me over the edge! Kathi, you have nerves of steel!

And yes, back in the days when we boothed I always dreamed of being a booth babe.

The cost is hugely ridiculous, but you have me dreaming of coming up with some product, real or not, and renting a booth for the week just so I can dress up and properly staff it. You likely to be at summer CES? Or next winter's?

[SuzanneBender]

Persephone thanks for pointing out that not only is she in Vegas she is there for the 2010 Consumer Electronics Show! I am now double jealous! It would be an interesting experiment to see if the techno nerd in me could overtake Suzanne in this environment. I think you have the best plan of action. Cruise the floor en femme!

I am sitting at the back of the room for my last seminar and listening to a woman with a very annoying voice give a presentation on circadian rhythms and depression. I bet its going to be dark when I get out of here today.

Thanks to the wonders of my Iphone and living vicariously through Kathi at least I can dream of electronics, fashion, Vegas and WARMTH.

I just located the Ulta here in Milwaukee and I'm going there once we are done to buy some fierce eye shadow and pout.

[Kathi Lake]

Sheesh! I seriously am not sure I could handle peer pressure like that without caving! Would try to say it was a joke, or a way to attract traffic to the booth, or something like that, but that female uniform staring me in the face would drive me over the edge! Kathi, you have nerves of steel!

Let's just say I haven't caved yet. I did bring a black skirt, heels, hose and everything to tie the outfit together, just in case they do "make me."
As for driving traffic, let's just say we rented a few "pros" to bring traffic to our booth. Their job is to walk the show floor, get ogled by guys, and drive the slobbering fools into my tender hands for the sales pitch. Believe me, I saw their pictures when I approved their expense (and their Fredrick's of Hollywood wardrobe), I don't hold a candle to these wonderfully beautiful things!

Summer CES? Don't know. Next year? Most likely.

Well, while I'm here, I may as well post a picture (You can stop twisting my arm now. No, seriously. Ow.) of my shopping outfit. I love the top. It's breezy and fluttery and very feminine. This is the style of clothes I would wear if I ever really allowed myself to on a regular basis, and, of course, if I didn't have a wife, family, kids, church, job, . . . .

Kathi

[Kathi Lake]

It would be an interesting experiment to see if the techno nerd in me could overtake Suzanne in this environment.

I just located the Ulta here in Milwaukee and I'm going there once we are done to buy some fierce eye shadow and pout.

Oh, it is tough being all around this much tech goodness (I believe the technical phrase is "nerdgasm"). That's one reason why I love my job. I'm an R&D engineer. My job is to design all the cool stuff you'll be buying next year. I design enclosures, help the electro-dweebs stuff all the circuitry into the teeny tiny little space I give them and basically get paid to be a geek. Life is indeed good!

Can't wait to see your cute new eyeshadow. Also, make sure that you have some gloss on to lubricate that pout, or it may just stay that way!

Kathi

[SuzanneBender]

Love the top where is it from?

Oh and the guy next to me just saw your pic on my Iphone as I sat it down. He asked if that was my wife? I told him no a sister. He said you are hot and asked if you were married

[Kathi Lake]

Love the top where is it from?

Oh and the guy next to me just saw your pic on my Iphone as I sat it down. He asked if that was my wife? I told him no a sister. He said you are hot and asked if you were married

Oh, good Lord! It's a good thing I wasn't drinking milk right then or my nose would have watered my laptop!

The top is, of course, from my favorite store - White House/Black Market. Not sure about my hotness (still holding at a 9.0 on HotorNot.com Woo hoo, I guess ), but I am definitely taken. Taken by the bestest, most wonderful woman you could ever hope to meet. Hey, you can tell him that and watch his mind (and other areas) go into overdrive thinking about that imagery!

Kathi

[SuzanneBender]

I told him that I just emailed you and you said your wife would be upset. He looked at me with a surprised perplexed look and asked, " so she is a lesbian?"

"She's totally into girls and loves her wife."

"Ohhh OK."

That just made my day.

I bet he won't be sneaking peeks at my Iphone again.

[Persephone]

Oh, it is tough being all around this much tech goodness (I believe the technical phrase is "nerdgasm"). That's one reason why I love my job. I'm an R&D engineer. My job is to design all the cool stuff you'll be buying next year. I design enclosures, help the electro-dweebs stuff all the circuitry into the teeny tiny little space I give them and basically get paid to be a geek. Life is indeed good!
Kathi

[SIZE="3"]O.K., then you are the perfect gal for the project I have in mind for our CES show booth for next year. And we are going to make a fortune on this one!

Here's the product -- silicone boobs with MP3 players in 'em! Perfect for women who feel that guys never listen to them! Buy a pair, get stereo!

Gals will love them, guys will adore them, and it's a perfect win-win![/SIZE]

[Kathi Lake]

I told him that I just emailed you and you said your wife would be upset. He looked at me with a surprised perplexed look and asked, " so she is a lesbian?"

"She's totally into girls and loves her wife."

"Ohhh OK."

That just made my day.

I bet he won't be sneaking peeks at my Iphone again.

Hey, it's nice to know this old body still has it - I guess.

OK, as my internet access at the hotel is 13 bucks a day, and it expires soon, let's see if I can wrap this puppy up! [terse]

After wandering around for awhile, and finding and trying on the totally cutest shoes in the world (Honestly, is Vegas the sexy shoe capitol of the world, or what?), I just happened to notice that, mirage-like, I could see in front of me a White House/Black Market. My shoes clicked me there of their own accord. No, really. I tried to be a good girl and resist! Knowing that no one could replace my wonderful Michelle at my local boutique, I walked in through the front doors to a friendly "Hello." Wow, when I grow up, can I be the sort of woman that is effortlessly stunning - even nearing 40? She was willowy. She was graceful. Her hair was the perfect shade of honey blond for her coloring and cut in the cutest tasteful a-line. Now I have seen many beautiful women. The ones I like best are the ones that honestly don't know it - they just exist that way. Sigh.

She asked me if she could help. I told her that I was just browsing for now, but had just gotten the mailer and a few e-mails from them that gave me lots of ideas. She recognized the top and sweater as theirs and complimented me on how I looked in them. Seeing The Dress there, I immediately went over to it. She smiled at me and said, "I've seen that look before. I'll start a room with this." While she went to the back, another SA - this one with the most beautiful long dense red hair made some suggestions. I told her I had seen a beautiful new dress in an e-mail. She knew the one and took me over to it. It was very pretty, with various sizes of horizontal white and black stripes, and ruching on the sides to bring in the waist. It also had a pretty boat neck. Basically, it was all kinds of gorgeous! She grabbed one in a small and one XS. She led me back to the room where the first SA had dropped off The Dress and other things as well. I love when they do that. Sure, it's to make a larger sale, but it's still thoughtful as they are doing it trying to match your body type, style, etc.

I slithered on The Dress. Sigh. Just like I remembered. Sure, I already own it, but they didn't have to know about that, did they? I came out of the dressing room and went to the large mirror in the dressing area. A lady there looked at me, stopped, really looked at me, and went back to her room. The blond SA oohed and aahed, adjusting the gathering at the waist and "mother-henning" me. I raised my arms, did slow twirl and said, "See, this is why I do this. Girl clothes are fun! Boy clothes are boring. That's why I gave up on them." She said, "You're so funny! And, I have to say, that dress looks spectacular on you! You looked wonderful when you came in, but I had no idea you looked this good!" I thanked her, turned to look at my butt (what little is there) and overall admired myself in the mirror. Yeah, I know. What a narcissistic twit, right? I agree, but agree with a huge smile on my face.

As I was changing out of the dress, she said, "Hey XXXXX (Yes, I used my guy name. Force of habit), how do you feel about bustiers and halters? I've got a few here for you." I told her that as long as I had a cute shrug to hide my uber-manly arms, then I was all for bustiers and halters and to bring them on! She brought about 4-5 different tops in that would look cute with the jeans I was wearing. Overall, they weren't bad. Some showed the tops of my forms (I'm so glad I have adhesive forms now - it makes tops like these remotely possible), some just didn't do it for me.

Anyway, she said, "How do you feel about pants? I said that they certainly had their place. She showed me a cross between a pair of leggings and a pair of dress slacks. They had cute patch pockets on the front and the lower legs zipped in the rear. They were really quite cute. She said that they had barely gotten them in and she had tried them on right before I came in. They were too long for her - and she was about 5' 8" or so. She said that when I came in, the first thing she noticed was my legs and thought, "Wow, she has gorgeous, long legs! I bet these pants would be perfect for her." I laughingly said that I thought her first thought was probably along the lines of, "What is this skinny guy trying to prove, dressing up as a woman?" She told me not to sell myself short, that I was a stunning woman, and there were just little clues that tipped her off - not major ones - but she wasn't sure. It wasn't until I spoke that made her stop "flipping the coin" on my sex.

Well, she looked at the pants, looked at me and said, "Double zero?" I laughed and said no, let's try for a 0 or a 2. We grabbed them and went back to the room. I changed out of my jeans and slid into the pants. Being the eternal optimist, I tried the 0 first. How do women do this!? How do they just look and know your size? Experience, I guess. She asked how they fit and I told her to go ahead and get the 00's. Great, my wife'll kill me when she finds out I've gone down another size. She already thinks that I am purposely trying to make my body this way. I'm not, I swear! Heck, today for lunch, I had a Jack in the Box Sirloin, Swiss and Onion burger combo (total yummyness!) and breakfast was two sausage burritos from McDonalds and a Super Big Gulp! (just an update - for dinner I had an In n' Out double-double, animal style, with fries and a large Coke. I just got back from second dinner with some of the guys at the booth where I had about five pounds of bread (I loooooove bread!) and a plate of penne arribiata. Yum!)

She brought back the 00's and they fit perfectly. Wow, she was surprised how they fit (admittedly, so was I) and that they were long enough for my legs. She says that although she is tall, she was like me only in the skinniness and having the butt of a 12 year-old boy department. She said that she always had to wear four-inch heels with her dress pants or they would drag the ground. Gee, the horror. Having to wear four-inch heels.

I walked out into the store to get the other SA's opinion. She shook her head and said "I have to say, they look hot, . . . no, you look hot in those pants. That top goes perfectly with them. Did you get it here?" I said yes, and she said "Wow, I can see why you dress like this. Do you do this a lot - do you dress as a woman every day?" I told her that I only did it every month or so. She said that she could tell that I sure had fun when I did. I walked back to the mirror, to the compliment of another woman who asked the SA if she could find a pair for her in size 6. She didn't look like a 6 - she looked much smaller. I almost told her they were smaller than she may think, but refrained. I knew the pants would be a keeper.

I then tried on the striped dress. All I can say is "Way cute!!" The neckline adds a bit of interest and the horizontal stripes made the optical illusion that there's actually a person there - and not a trick of the light (sure, if I turned sideways, I'd be a pencil and a pair of boobs, thus spoiling the illusion, but, . . .). As we were admiring me in the mirror (well, it was mostly me doing the admiring, but a few customers were looking on in disbelief), she said to follow her. We went back out into the store proper. There were four teenage girls there. I don't know if the sight of a man in a dress is just that normal here or they honestly didn't know that I was a guy (Las Vegas - the Nearsightedness Capitol of the World!), but I kept waiting for a reaction that never came - just normal smiles. Odd.

After awhile, I realized it was almost 11:00 - closing time. I paid for the pants. She said, "I'm surprised that you didn't decide to get the dress. I wasn't kidding - you honestly look spectacular in it." I didn't have the heart to tell her that I already owned it and just wanted to try it on. I remembered that I left my sweater in the room and told her that since I had to go back there, I may as well change into the pants instead of my jeans. She said "Good choice." I changed into the pants. Now Karren may bark, but I like jeans - especially these. Putting on the pants though, just made me feel, . . . different. Not necessarily "sexier" or anything, but more, . . . graceful and feminine, I guess. I walked out of the Miracle Mile shops and off to my next stop which will be continued, and hopefully finished, in the next post.

Kathi

[Kathi Lake]

Oh yeah, I forgot the pictures! These were taken in my hotel room at the end of my long day in my glamourous best - frizzy hair, wilting makeup and beard growing through. At least they do show off the new pants (what you can see of black pants in a small fuzzy JPEG )

[Kathi Lake]

OK, the Internet fairy (No. Not Chris Crocker), is about to cut me off, so I'll make this brief. This time I really mean it!!

I left the Miracle Mile shops and was going to go to Krave - that LGBT nightclub. Apparently, it is closed Mondays. Huh. Who knew!

I still had feet that were on speaking terms with me (barely) and wasn't ready to turn back into a pumpkin yet, so I drive to Treasure Island and used the valet parking. I walked around the casino for a bit and thought "When in Rome. . ." I pulled out a 20 dollar bill and fed it into the slot machine. I bet the max amount (five dollars) and spun the wheel. Nuthin. I did the same again. Nuthin. I tried it a third time, fully thinking, "Well, there's a quick twenty." Lots of beeping. By the time the credit counter stopped counting up, I was now about $190.00 richer than when I came in. I immediately hit the Cash Out button (like a girly coward), and took my ticket to redeem. I realized on the way that I had just paid for my pants and then some. Woo hoo! Life is good!

Walking around, I received plenty of looks - I would say that they were about 50-50 on knowing that I was a guy. Thank God for bad casino lighting! I then cruised Las Vegas boulevard for awhile, and realized that I had to get up early, so went back to my room and scrubbed off the pretty. Sigh. These are fun times we live in, people! Grab that fun with both hands and just try to hold on!

Kathi

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Ah, a new year. Can't you just smell the promise of a wonderful 365 days?! I know that I can't wait to start the year off right. How might I do that? Why, by shopping, of course! (insert collective, "Duh!" here).

Ahhh, you've delivered my fix, a Kathi shopping post. I wondered how long it would take, thank goodness it wasn't long.

After talking with a few local girls, I sadly had to "dial it down a notch." Apparently, Vegas is the land of casualness. Great. Now what am I supposed to do with these pearls?!

Dial it down...in vegas?

Kathi....
You will see that dress ranges from very casual to very formal or in between. People can be just gambling, or could have just attended a wedding. Shorts and sandals to formal gowns..it's all good in Las Vegas! Wear your pearls proudly girl!
Kel

Right! If I ever was to take a dream vegas trip, I'd stay at the Bellagio and wear nothing but various LBD's, simple jersey ones with kitten heels/flats in the day, with dressier ones at night. It's Vegas! It's glitzy, it's over the top. And if you can't wear an LBD while at the roulette/baccarat table there, what's the fun in that.

Of course, I'm usually not reading Kevin Aucoin's Making Faces right out in the open. Hmmm. I wonder if that had anything to do with it?

:-)

I landed in Vegas and went to the rental car aisle. I was allowed to pick my car from the entire row. Near the end, I see a cute silver-blue VW Bug! "Hi neighbor, can you say totally girly chick car? I knew that you could." I seriously almost squealed with girly glee.

What? No Miata? Oh well, I suppose a VW Bug will have to do. :-) Squee. My sister had one, and I drove it now and then. The seats aren't comfy.

This one had a brow bar, where they will hook you up with the girly pair of brows of your dreams. She looked closer and said, "Wow. Nice arch placement. Good starting and stopping points. They look like they've recently been done. Who did them for you?" I told her that I had and that I've tried to keep them cleaned up and good for both male and female mode. She said I had done a great job and could go a bit thinner, but it might feminize my face a bit too much.

No! There is no such thing as too much feminization. :-) Go back and have her thinnerize them more! (I understand not be willing to do that, I'm just joking with you)

As I said earlier, Vegas is a casual place, so I went with my Silver skinny jeans, a cute black and white patterned top, my new swingy cardigan (seriously adorable!) and my Anne Klein pumps. Yeah, yeah. I know. That's a bit more than casual - shoot me!

If you hadn't worn heels with your jeans in Vegas, I would have to revoke your Fashionista card. I have that power.

There weren't many suggestions, so I went driving around the strip with my windows down and the radio blasting - me singing (badly) along with it.

It had better have been "chick music", or I will have to revoke your "girly girl" card. I have that power too. :-)

Did I get looks, glances, and stares. Oh yeah! I'm not sure how much of it was due to being a 46 year-old guy dressed as an early 20's girl from the pages of InStyle, but then again, I don't really care.

Lucky, not InStyle! InStyle is too celebrity oriented, but you're a "Lucky girl" most definately.

ARRGH Vegas in a VW bug, an eyebrow bar, mani, dinner with the girls and a metobolism that lets you eat like a man. Kathi Lake I am sooo green with envy right now.

Me too!

You are the guru of shopping girl!

Alongside Sara Jessica. :-)

Hey Suze! I was thinking of you last night. I imagined you, Sara Jessica, Veronica and me piling into the Bug and giving our credit cards a workout!

Oh gosh, I'm so flattered that you would think of me, though I would be the "Rhoda" to Sara Jessica's, Suzanne's and yourself's "Marys", because I am the fat one. I couldn't shop where you all shop.

Sigh. Can you dig it?

Now look what we have here before us. We got the fashionistas talking with the makeupistas, the stila addicts talking to the Nars addicts. We got the MAC girls right next to the Sephora girls. Nobody is dissing nobody, and that is a miracle and the way things ought to be.

We've got 20,000 hardcore fashionistas. Forty-thousand, counting affiliates, and twenty-thousand more, not organized, but ready to shop: 60,000 soldiers in the shopping wars! Now, there ain't but 1,000 SA's in the whole town.

Can You Dig It!

CAAAAAAN YOUUUUUUU DIIIIIGGGG IIIIITTTT!

I am digging it so much! What a ball would that be. Heck we could even use my bug its a convertible.

OMG, you have a Beetle convertible! What color is it?

Although I would probably have to push you out the door for eating Roast Beef and drinking a real Coke in front of all of us poor slow metabolism gals that have to settle on crunching our celery.

Yes we would.

Squeeeeeee!!! Fer cute! (it's a Utah expression. Forgive me). My gosh, is there a car around that is any girlier than VW Bug convertible?

OMG, you Squee! Squee! Girlier cars than a Beetle convertible, perhaps a Miata convertible or Mini Cooper convertible, but it would be a close race.

Sounds like it's about time to circle the chairs around and utter that famous phrase, "Hello, my name is Kathi, and I am a shopaholic." I hope I'm not being redundant - or redundant - in my posts.

NO! Keep posting, there is no such thing as too much shopping, unless you run out of funds, then you can stop...if you want.

going back to the nail place to show the nail techs what I looked like dressed,

Tell us about that!

Aaaaanyway, let's get to the fun stuff - the shopping!! I walked into the shops at the Miracle Mile. What store should I see first? bebe!!

I'd kill to be able to wear Bebe. Course, I'm to fat, and old and frumpyish for Bebe. I'm 42, not 22, and a size 22 not a size 2.

Now usually, SAs are quite open to me. They seem to maybe instinctually trust me as if they knew I wasn't a threat (I'm not. Honest!) and treat me nicely.

Of course they do, because they can recognize a member of the "Tribe Fashionista"

Anyway, after chatting a bit about my style preferences (I said "librarian-like." She said, "Well then, you're gong to be one hot librarian!"), we found a few more items and I went back to the dressing rooms. It was a cacophony of loud music, women chatting, hangers screeching along racks, curtains being flipped open, and the beautiful sound of heels striking marble tile. Beethoven wrote some lovely pieces, but to me, nothing - absolutely nothing - compares with this sound.

The girl coordinating our booth tried to goad me into dressing up after I said that we had too many guys and not enough women in the booth. She even sent me a girl's uniform (black cami and cardigan) along with my guy's shirts saying, "Come on. It's Vegas. Be creative!" Ah, if only she knew the whole story (then again, with my big-mouthed admin, maybe she does ).

You should ask.

Thanks to the wonders of my Iphone and living vicariously through Kathi at least I can dream of electronics, fashion, Vegas and WARMTH.

And be a vicarious size 0/2!

I just located the Ulta here in Milwaukee and I'm going there once we are done to buy some fierce eye shadow and pout.

I am in the Ulta-less hinterlands...pout.

Let's just say I haven't caved yet. I did bring a black skirt, heels, hose and everything to tie the outfit together, just in case they do "make me."

You have to!

As for driving traffic, let's just say we rented a few "pros" to bring traffic to our booth. Their job is to walk the show floor, get ogled by guys, and drive the slobbering fools into my tender hands for the sales pitch. Believe me, I saw their pictures when I approved their expense (and their Fredrick's of Hollywood wardrobe), I don't hold a candle to these wonderfully beautiful things!

Now those women may be gorgeous, but what can they do, memorize a brochure?

Now imagine a woman at CES, who knows stuff and can do more than recite talking points she's been taught before she hands people off to a real nerd. Now imagine that smart leggy size 0/2 woman...in a regex skirt:

A pythonista fashionista review of the regex skirt.http://catherinedevlin.blogspot.com/...rt-review.html

You'd have to beat off the nerds...with sticks.

Well, while I'm here, I may as well post a picture (You can stop twisting my arm now. No, seriously. Ow.) of my shopping outfit. I love the top. It's breezy and fluttery and very feminine. This is the style of clothes I would wear if I ever really allowed myself to on a regular basis, and, of course, if I didn't have a wife, family, kids, church, job, . . . .

Kathi

You look great.

He looked at me with a surprised perplexed look and asked, " so she is a lesbian?"
"She's totally into girls and loves her wife."
"Ohhh OK."
That just made my day.

Bwah ha ha ha. Priceless!

Wow, when I grow up, can I be the sort of woman that is effortlessly stunning - even nearing 40?

Yes, or even over 40. Not going to happen for me though.

As I was changing out of the dress, she said, "Hey XXXXX (Yes, I used my guy name. Force of habit),

Stop that! No more using guy name en femme. You are Kathi! Using your femme name will help with the immersion, and help some SA's keep thinking of you as a woman.


Veronica Rogers

[SuzanneBender]

Veroinca I can barely type this because my eyes are watering so from laughing. You are just too funny. There is no way we all could go shopping in my bug together. I am afraid you would get me giggling too hard and I would wreck.

You are so wrong about the Rhoda thing though we would be rocking all of the stores together.

We need to figure out a way to really make this happen. I just need to figure out how we are going to carry all of our shopping bounty in the bug.

Oh and its Gecko Metalic Green with a beige top and yes it has a daisy in the vase.

[robyn1114]

Sounds like a great trip and I love the outfit

[Kathi Lake]

Ahhh, you've delivered my fix, a Kathi shopping post. I wondered how long it would take, thank goodness it wasn't long.

Glad you're happy!

If you hadn't worn heels with your jeans in Vegas, I would have to revoke your Fashionista card. I have that power.

Phew! That was close! I did bring a cute pair of Jessica Simpson flats but saved myself at the last moment.

It had better have been "chick music", or I will have to revoke your "girly girl" card. I have that power too. :-)

Oh yeah! Total pop/crossover. Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, etc.

Can You Dig It!

CAAAAAAN YOUUUUUUU DIIIIIGGGG IIIIITTTT!

I love that movie!

Tell us about that!

Not much to say. I walked in and sat down. They said they would be right with me. I waited for a minute and my nail tech came over. She looked at my hands, recognizing the polish color perhaps, looked at my face and gasped "Oh my gosh! I would never in a million years recognize you! You look so good. So pretty! How do you do that? Where do you, . . . never mind. Wow, hot date tonight?" I told her that I was just going to dinner with some new friends. She took me back and showed me off to the other nail techs - a few of which had been there earlier. I got oohed and aahed - not too much to tell.

Now those women may be gorgeous, but what can they do, memorize a brochure?

Ah ha ha ha ha haaaaaa!! (wiping tears). Did I mention they were professionals?I honestly think that their band size is greater than their IQ. Memorize? Why, I bet sometimes they forget to breathe, much less which boob goes in which cup or product specifications. Still, your idea does have merit. Pull them in with my womanly charms (thank you Amoena!) and close in for the kill with my fierce intellect. Yup. That'll work!

Bwah ha ha ha. Priceless!

I have to admit, that was pretty cool!

Kathi

[Sally2005]

Kathi, awsome post. You bring a smile to my face with the stories of how much fun the SAs have with you. And how you fit it all in...for me it takes hours just to get out the door.