Out dressed, feeling inhibited

[rochy1]

Hello everyone... I've been lurking here for a while but haven't posted. I've been dressing more recently and enjoying it, so I thought I'd try to become more active here as well.

Anyway, last evening I decided to go out for a stroll while dressed and made up. This was a bit of an adventure for me, as I usually stay at home when I dress.

I was dressed in black heels, black stockings, a dress with a sweater over it, a scarf and an overcoat due to the cold weather. I had a few glasses of wine to build up courage beforehand

Although it was cold, there were many people out and about - I live near the city center and lots of people go out here on weekend nights.

I'm usually somewhat reserved in male mode, and I felt much more reserved while dressed. I'm sure others have felt this too... Within a minute of leaving my apartment, a car with a few guys stopped and the driver asked me if I was headed towards downtown. I was too embarrassed to interact with them and looked down and said no! The driver said to the passenger "she said no", and they drove on.

Then I strolled about for a while, occasionally passing other persons walking around or groups of people. I didn't want them to identify me as a tv, so I usually looked away!

After a while I was too cold to stay out, so I headed back to my apartment. Near my home I passed a group of about 8 girls and guys (college students) who were obviously headed into town. One guy said to me "hey, are you doing okay"?, to which I answered "sure, how are you" in my normal voice without stopping, although I saw a strange expression on his face (lol, need to practice feminizing my voice!)

Anyway, it was a fun short adventure... I'd like to be able to feel more comfortable while dressed and just be able to talk to people normally. Ideally having the attitude "yes, I'm a crossdresser/transvestite- so what?" and just smile and laugh and be social about it. Anyone have any tips?

Steffi

[msginaadoll]

Well first of all congratulations on getting out. My only advice is to continue getting out. Find someplace you are at least semi comfortable going. I also like to have an escape route ready- have a change of clothes in car, or know I can leave place if theres trouble. Also Im trying to get comfortable in knowing people will see me as a crossdresser not a woman and not care about that. Also being ready fro the time when I am laughed at made fun of or harassed. It hasnt happened yet, only been treated with respect- but Im aware it can and probably will. Where I go from there will be the test of who I am.

[Jess]

At least you went out! I've only been out once, but I cheated. It was Halloween.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

I think what you experienced is quite normal for being out the first time...

I know the first time I went out was shopping at DSW and Ross's and I felt strange as well...even the forst time out to a club I felt extremely out of place...now maybe 20 times of doing that I feel totally normal at the club....so it's no big deal...

The more you get out the better you'll feel and eventually you'll have a "comfort zone" that you'll fall inot....

But congrats at being able to finally walk out the door into the real world!!!!

Enjoy the new experiences that await you....

Stephanie

[lavistaa62]

I found it slightly anti-climatic but was most nervous about my voice. I'm going to start using the youtube techniques since she's both convincing and approaches things in a way I get. I wore pants, snow boots and sweaters (all fem) so as to attract a minimum of attention. Nobody reacted bar one woman who turned and laughed. My SO whom I was with insisted she was reacting to something and that's possible but as you might expect while dressed I'm hyper sensitive. Only practice I think will get rid of that. Although I went out of my way to not be staring about; I do wonder in retrospect whether I would be able to conceal my reaction should I encounter another crossdresser. That's my next hurdle, meeting other CD while dressed to see what we "seem" like so I can study what they do adopt what seems to work for them.

[Rachel Morley]

Firstly congratulations on getting out of the door in daylight fully dressed. This site has a way of doing that to a person. My first adventures out beyond our front door were a result of reading stuff here.

You said you're looking for tips on how to feel more comfortable while dressed and how just be able to talk to people normally and be social about it? Well, being comfortable comes from self confidence. You either have it or you don't. You can't pretend to be self confident or tell yourself you have it if you don't.

The good news is it quite easy to obtain, just keep on doing what you're doing. The more times you go out dressed the easier it becomes. The more times you go to different places and interact with people the easier it is. One of the first events I did on my own when dressed was to go to the movies. However, I bought my ticket online through Fandango so that I wouldn't have to line up and interact with anybody. You just walk straight into the theater and hand them your printed off e-ticket without saying a word. It's a good way to be out in public in a mainstream busy place but not having to speak. The speaking part can come second when you gained your self confidence of just being out in public on a regular basis.

Just keep doing it, the more times you go out the easier and more rewarding it becomes. My approach is to be nice to yourself, and start off easy like I've suggested (i.e, doing things that don't require speaking much) and ease your way into it. It's not a race. Once you have a few successful outings under your belt and your self confidence is high, you can introduce the interacting with people part, which might be buying pop corn if you were at the movies or not buying your ticket online an lining up with the teenagers

Anyway, good luck and above all have fun!

[KristinSkye]

Congratulations! That doesn't sound like a bad first night out Like Jess said, at least you got out, all I've ever done was drive around.

[MarcieBflo]

Great that you got the courage to go out . . ya Little & help, I also have change of clothes with me . . . . Last weekend went to a larger type convenience store dressed, Two customers were at check out counter when I walked in, went to beer cooler grabbed a six pack of "light" beer. By the time I got to the counter one guy still checking out, he glance at me, he had on reaction at all, so he ether did not read me or didn't give a shit. When i set the beer on the counter I said to the mid 20's female clerk "I get light beer to keep my girlish figure" (in simi male voice) She paused a said "but your not wearing a skirt" I then stepped away from the counter so she could see my mini . . . . she said "not bad" then some more small talk, she kinda stood back and said "you should where your hair a little farther back" . . . . Before leaving I asked her "so how many CD'ers have you check-out tonight" she gave me a cute funny look . . . "You the first one" when I got home and looked at my wig in the mirror, she was right. . . . Anyways the more we go out the more balls you get, even if they are tucked . . . .

[sherri52]

My first time out was When I sent my wife to Florida for a vac. I drove around for awhile even picked up a hitchhiker. Later in the night I parked my car on Beacon Hill in Boston and walked through the commons (park) until I got to the "combat zone". They had one then. after a short walk uneventful, I walked back to my car and drove home. My heart pounded so much I couldn't get to sleep that night and couldn't wait until the next night when I went and did it all over again.
Congrats on your night out. I can hear the ticking in your head from hear thinking of when you can do it again.

[sissystephanie]

Rochy, you are you, not someone else. You have no reason to feel inhibited by dressing. You can wear what you want to wear!! As the other girls have said, go out and do it again! I have been doing it for many years, and now since my wife has passed away I go out enfemme without a wig or makeup. Just a guy dressed like a lady! If people don't like it, tough!!

[Karen__Starr]

It is like anything else you do for the first time that is out of the norm but on average the more you do it the more you will feel at ease.

The only places I feel uncomfortable are places I do not venture into which is a small percentage of places I go. Good to have a comfort zone but still be careful.

[vikki2020]

Your comfort level will increase with time-- go out time and time again! Confidence is your best accessory!

[RhondaLynn]

A bit off topic, but...

I've been dressed all weekend, and have been wanting to go for a drive. But our current set of neighbors seem to be lurking in the parking lot ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT - sheesh - whatever happened to all of our reclusive neighbors that never left their house.

This evening about an hour before dark, i wanted to go to the next town to the drive-thru beer store (no sunday beer sales in this town) - i didn't feel like changing clothes, so i was peering out the window - no one in sight... i thought. As i stepped out, 3 people appeared from nowhere, apparently just strolling up & down the sidewalks. I waited them out for awhile - never saw them come back. Finally, at dusk, i said 'what do i care about what they think?", got in the car & drove off. A long line at the beer store lead to a leisurely drive around the park area & some well-lit roads in the city (i like to catch fleeting glances at my skirt & hose as i pass under steetlights). Went back - a girl i didn't know was working - she was really cute. I'm know she saw that i was in a skirt & hose w/ heels, but it didn't seem to phase her. like she's never worn a skirt & hose or heels before. Rode around a bit more, then went home. Later, i had to leave two more times to pick up some fast food and a couple drive-thru things. Each time, i cared less about who noticed me, and the more natural it felt to be wering what i felt like wearing. I was going to go to the self-serv water store & fill up a few jugs, but it was TOO COLD to stand in the wind in a skirt for a couple gallons of water.

This evening was great - it felt wonderful. I can see a few more adventures ahead this week!

[Loni]

congrats on your first outing, here's to many more.

just be eyefull of punks, on one of my earlier outings was trailed and haresed by three of the local color.

[carolinoakland]

so, the world didn't come crashing down, everyone on the street didn't turn and point and scream a la "Invasion of the Body Snatchers.". And you found out you're made of sterner stuff. You'll do it again and again. And each time you will feel more comfortabel in you're skin. Enjoy. Carol

[sallyjones]

congrats for going out. it is more of a give away if you just look away. be polite but dont look away. look at them and smile(thats what women do). as for your fem voice the best advice and it takes pactice but simply talk in yor mouth not your throat. good luck girl.