But how would you feel if someone had the power to pack up all your Kathi things, and said you could never experience her again?Originally Posted by Kathi Lake
But how would you feel if someone had the power to pack up all your Kathi things, and said you could never experience her again?
Reine
Fun, compulsion or ...
I think that Karren said a good part of what I feel.
When I finally gave up fighting who I am, it was definitely a need in me. I didn't want to want to dress (if you understand what I'm trying to say).
As I've expanded my horizons, I definitely agree that "gurlz just wanna have fun" - something LeRosbif doesn't really know how to do.
Now, I look on drabs as being cross-dressed (even tho at the moment that is the majority of the time for me) and being dressed as the real me.
So do I do it for fun? Yes!
Do I do it to satisfy a need? Yes!
Do I feel a compulsion? Yes!
Does that worry me? Not at all.
Will I go 24/7? I only wish
Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.
This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any
Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist
Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity
For Myself I would rate CD' ing among the top three levels of "Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs"
they are:Social Needs
Once a person has met the lower level physiological and safety needs, higher level needs become important, the first of which are social needs. Social needs are those related to interaction with other people and may include:
* Need for friends
* Need for belonging
* Need to give and receive love
Esteem
Once a person feels a sense of "belonging", the need to feel important arises. Esteem needs may be classified as internal or external. Internal esteem needs are those related to self-esteem such as self respect and achievement. External esteem needs are those such as social status and recognition. Some esteem needs are:
* Self-respect
* Achievement
* Attention
* Recognition
* Reputation
Maslow later refined his model to include a level between esteem needs and self-actualization: the need for knowledge and aesthetics.
Self-Actualization
Self-actualization is the summit of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. It is the quest of reaching one's full potential as a person. Unlike lower level needs, this need is never fully satisfied; as one grows psychologically there are always new opportunities to continue to grow.
Self-actualized people tend to have needs such as:
* Truth
* Justice
* Wisdom
* Meaning
Self-actualized persons have frequent occurrences of peak experiences, which are energized moments of profound happiness and harmony. According to Maslow, only a small percentage of the population reaches the level of self-actualization.
And of course it is FUN
"I gotta be me"
Remember what the witch said: [SIZE="3"]SURRENDER DOROTHY[/SIZE]
[SIZE="3"]Gender is a state of mind[/SIZE]
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Ah! Very telling question, Reine!But how would you feel if someone had the power to pack up all your Kathi things, and said you could never experience her again?
Wow, to not be able to be Kathi. I hadn't thought of that. Honestly, the phrase that first comes to mind is, "Therein lies madness." To close off that part of my life. Wow, my heart is clenching and I'm near tears just thinking about it. To never be able again to vicariously experience the joy of being a woman. Yes, I would still be the same person inside (however female that person may or may not be) - but without the ability to express it? Honestly, I don't think I could survive that. Yes, I realize that sounds dramatic, but to me, a life lived only halfway would not be life at all.
Wow. I'm stunned. I'm (for me, anyway) speechless. Great. Now I am in tears.
Kathi
I experience CD as both curse and bliss. I have done it for as long as I remember, but it never was a choice as to need arising, but rather choice weather I'll do it right now or later due to circumstances. I am still in the closet however the closet has become somewhat more like a penthouse sweet at Waldorf. I have dressed because I felt more like woman , not dressed to feel like a woman. As life went on I have put CD aside, disposed of it, tried to forget about it and every time I have done so it came back twice strong. Lately I have gave up (or rather forfeit) my struggle against her and let her be a driving force in my life.
So as to the question, dressing gives me an unparalleled joy to feel fem on the outside as well as on the inside. The image then corresponds with feelings I have. I suppose our brains strive to balance every aspect of our lives and so if we are a woman on inside we like to see the same on outside.
Love Alexia.
You're right, it most certainly would hurt me.As for the masculinity question, in case you couldn't figure it out about me already, it's definitely a big fat NO! I despise my masculinity, to be quite blunt about it. It absolutely disgusts me.
I crossdress both for fun and for the need to dress. At first I just felt good dressing and it was fun to do it. Now, it is still fun for I enjoy dressing but I do it everyday in part or completely at least fo part of the day. I still want to stay a man but enjoy looking and dressing as a woman.
Put a little lipstick on you'll feel better
Wow. Thank you for being so honest. I know there are people that feel the same way you feel. This is why, as I explore my female side, I want to be sensitive to how other people might be/are struggling with something that I could probably drop if I absolutely had to. I've also found, like with my career, knowing what you are NOT is just as important, if not more so, as knowing what you are. I found my career because I found something I liked but also because I worked in a job that I hated. I can better get to know the female me if I fully understand what 'she' is not.You're right, it most certainly would hurt me.
I started dressing like it was a compulsion. I felt like I had to, otherwise I'd just keep thinking about it and it would drive me nuts until I finally did it.
I now find it fun though, and if I go for a certain length of time without dressing I still feel the pressure to dress. Just now instead of just dressing I actually do my make-up and stuff, which I find better. I find the end results are generally far better, and worth the extra effort.
Yes to 1 & 2.
It's fun for me and totally addictive but not full time, yes I need to dress completely en femme and go out in public, it is fun to have a little secret...I really do enjoy my guy life too and I don't think I could give it up.
To pharaphrase Tom Cruise in Jerry Mcquire...dressing completes me.
It is both to me. It is fun. Going out in public as Suzanne is exciting. I must have a little Pinky Tuskadaro (think back to Happy Days gals of my age) in me because I like the feeling of being a gender rebel.
However, when I am en femme I also experince a feeling of grace that I never experience as my male self. I can not picture my life without the femme me.
Like many things in life what starts out as simple curiosity becomes lots of fun and then morphs into a necessary part of our being.
Two years ago I would have told you I wouldn't give my guy side up for anything. Now if I had to choose between the pink or blue pill I would choose the pink.
Last edited by SuzanneBender; 01-11-2010 at 08:41 PM.
See yourself as a soul with a body not a body with a soul" Dr. Wayne Dyer
i like your post/inquiry. this is a little long, but you may find it enlightening.
you mentioned that when you looked in the mirror the illusion ends. this sounds all too familiar. i have to admit i have had a whole lot of this happen until very recently. i am 43 and have been doing this to some degree but not understanding what it was since i was probably 8 or so.
as of late i have discovered that within me lies a female side that is very real. not split personality kind of thing, but just a strong female aspect in many ways. as i look back at my life it has become clear that she has always been there but i have forced her to stay in 'prison'. she is unhappy in that place and now i realize the problems that go with that. i dont dress fulltime or anything, but i do get fully dressed from time to time and wear some kind of girls clothes routinely (underdressing goes without saying): jeans, a pendent necklace, girls winter boots with the little fur on top, tops that have a slightly feminine look, a small hair clip in the back. this has become a way of acknowledging she is real and a part of me always, even when she has to stay in the background.
the name for this, i now realizing, is acceptance. acceptance of something about myself that i just never fully understood. this forum, along with an unrelated break from any kind of drinking (no drug use either) really set the wheels in motion to fully realize this.
if you really want to find out if this is also the case with yourself i would recommend spending a lot of time going through the threads on this site. there are a LOT of archived threads that you can find using the search function. i have spent at least 100 hours reading here, and it has been one the best 100 hours of my life (ok, maybe 95 if you take the 'whatever, wtf' posts out!!
for myself, it has been like finding a secret room in a house you have lived in all your life. and then to find a wonderful, but scared and lonely girl has been living in that room the whole time.
i recommend in taking a good, long look in the mirror and give this some thought.
i look myself straight in the eyes when dressed a little or a lot and just get a wide, genuine smile. there is no illusion to fail, she is real. this may not end up being the case for you, but you owe it to yourself to find out. i thank my stars or whatever i didnt go another 10, 20 years or more without finally making friends with jennifer.
Happiness is a choice.
And u can quote me on this!
It is my opinion;
If you're NOT having fun dressing, you're DOING IT WRONG!.gif "Big Roll Eyes")
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Its both fun and necessary.The fun is in the need for this thrill ride, this
petal to the floor-push to the edge of masculinity compulsion of soft-feel
excitement.The necessary is the "call on the muse" to validate this poetry,
to autheticate the ryme of this flesh.
who am I if not thoughful and excited......dana 2010.
BOTH ! Is there any other reason. (Maybe attention? ?) The reason I do it is for both but.... I also would want my girlfriend/wife(if I had either one) to see me as a girl and think... GOD he's hot as a woman.
It's definitely a necessity for me - i would die if i couldn't, but it's also a whole new level of fun. I don't think anything else is as important- i also don't think the word "fun" comes close to describing the feeling.
definitely both
Without going into why (I don't know why), I am compelled to dress up and make up. When I do, I always find it enormously fun (in addition to exciting)
I love taking my time when making up, enjoying watching the transformation as it happens in the mirror. Although I have at times just partially transformed, I really love to go all the way with makeup, eyelashes, shapewear, pantyhose, clothes, high heels, wig, jewelry, nails, perfume, and accessories (like a headband). I also find it fun to take photos and videos during and after transformation. It's fun looking at them later as well. I stay in a lot (it's still fun), but go out some, and find fun in that, too. Shopping is fun...everything about cd-ing is fun.
For me its both, even i'm in a relationship with my loveley excepting wife,
i feel they was a mastake at conception? I should have being
born a women?
[SIZE="2"]I crossdress for fun, but I’m addicted to the way it makes me feel. I suppose I become who I AM a little more than if I didn’t dress up, but these are subtle distinctions. Crossdressing (or transvestism, which I prefer) for fun, initially, led me to dress completely and try everything, then go out in public. One thing led to another, again purely for fun, and I never thought any of it would have happened to me. It all seemed natural, logical, and inevitable – I’m glad I tried it, but I try ANYTHING…
Yes, I’ve told a few people I trust that I CD, mainly because I think it’s a beautiful and very interesting activity, quite rare, and, dare I say…special![/SIZE]
it is all of the above...but the best answer is simply.....
........because!
I dress because it's fun. I love the clothes. Make up is a lot of fun. Painted nails feel wonderful. A clean shavin body is so nice,love the feel of soft smooth silky skin. I love the complete look and the feel for me is indescribable,I feel so at ease and comfortable.
I think what jennifer posted says it all for me. Locking up my fem side is denying part of who I am. In doing that, it leads to some very sad times. So expressing myself in fem is something that I need to do in order to feel whole.
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