[SIZE="2"]this is a hard subject for me cause im torn yet i know deep down that this feeling isnt going to stop,
ive gotten herbal hormones and some spiro before and stayed on them for about three months, (not realizing that without the doctors alot can go hay wire because i felt fine ), partly cause im scared that a therapist or what ever they are will not put me on them right away or ill have to go to many times first, but my minds made up some time wether now or later i will transition, i wish i could start this process but funds are low and i want to do it the proper way this time with doctors involved for the monitoring.
im a very sexual person my wife on the other hand is not, and one side affect of the hormones even though it wasnt very long was i didnt think about sex as much and i was alot calmer , i get days now that i can just feel the testoserone surges and get angry and grumpy even though i dont want to,
now for me i dont really want to get an srs but i would get an orchiectomy. now for me i used to think like five years ago that i could just live as i am take the hormones and never have to come out some how, i realize that isnt really all that possible , its more than an a phaze or obcetion
now i dont know where to turn or what doctor to go to or anything ,
now some people say what about the kids or your wifes feelings well kids seem to roll with the punches and the wife we have a lot of talking to do yet but im sure well be fine ,
she also makes comments on how she doesnt like looking or touching my u know and i say well then let me get it cut off in a half joking manor
[/SIZE]