What would you have done ?

[kimberly ann487]

Yesterday, since I haven't yet graduated to the department store cosmetic counters lol,I stopped at Walgreen's to pick up some eyeliner I needed. I head to the makup isle and there's a guy, about my age, looking at the glue-on nail selection. OMG, I say to myself, is he another CDer ? Should I strike up a conversation or or let him have his privacy ? What would you have done ?

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Maybe he's somewhere right now asking if he should have talked to the guy buying the eyeliner. But in all seriousness I prob wouldn't have talked to him but maybe made a friendly smile and nod that he could interpret either as "yo go (secret) girl!" or as "yep we're both shopping for our wives"

[suchacutie]

I might have a conversation, but not about the elephant in the room! If you were close you could look at the nails as well and just casually state you like these the best, and let it go to see where he takes it.

If he were en femme you could compliment him on some aspect of his wardrobe and see where it goes.

Give the opening, but then let him take it or not.

just my

tina

[Karren H]

I've tried to strike up conversations with guys I've suspected as being crossdressers in stores before and they either didn't want to talk to me or were too scared... So I'd rather talk to the women in the store.. They are more friendly and I probably have more in common with them! Lol.

[Lorileah]

I probably would have gone with the less black eyeliner.

Don't jump to conclusions.. I saw a guy today holding a pair of woman's jeans up to himself and telling his SO that she would probably fit in them. I doubt he was a CD even if the jeans were for him. Should a guy pass up a 8.99 pair of jeans?

Maybe he was a guitar player and needed the nails for picks?

I believe you have every right to "out" yourself but don't do it to someone else you "suspect"

[Nicole Erin]

I would run around the counter flipping my wrists and say "Oh my gawd a trahnny!"

OK kidding but I think I would have tried to strike up some kind of a chat.
Just be like "It's cool I ain't judging". And if you offered any advice, that would really show you are cool with it.

And about graduating to DEPT store counters, save your money.

I think the best way to go for good product at a reasonable price is Sephora or Mary Kay.
When you find yourself at the Sephora store, yes the SA there are bubbley loud-voiced young women with extreme makeup, but you are a customer to them, they are not there to judge.

[msniki48]

hmmmmm

At a support meeting I was told, that i should not approach a sister i know or suspect, that is in drag, mostly to respect their privacy, and the fact that they might not be out. also some of the sisters were concerned of security...being military or police officers. So i try not to call attention...at least if they are strangers to me.

there are a few girls that i just hug when i see them because of familiarity....it's like hugging a bud.

plus i have not figured out the right...wink wink smile, that sends the message...i am on your side sister.

it always comes out...thumbs up wink...like....yeah you're really gonna look great in that....right! [What the heck are ya doin?]


hugs

msniki48

[Jilmac]

That's a good question Kimberly. It's nice to see some guy checking out the feminine fineries and thinking "hey he's one of us", but I'm not sure how to approach the issue. On a similar note, I was in a Value Village last week in drab when I saw a guy in the women's aisle looking at tops. He was carrying a handful of hangers with women's clothes and selected a couple of tops, then went into the lingerie aisle and picked out a few more items. I watched him take everything up to the register and stand in line waiting his turn. I wanted to say something to him but thought better of it. I really didn't want to embarrass either one of us.

[Kate Simmons]

Smile and wink maybe or wear a rubber band on my left wrist. No, waidamminnit that's Friday, right?

[Kathi Lake]

I have been in this situation a time or two Here's what I do - I put the burden on me. I say something out loud, like "Hmmmm, that eyeliner would look great with my eyes. What do you think?" In the three times this has happened, I have only had one person claim to not be looking for themselves. The other times, it went fine and, ice broken, we go on to chat. See, it gives the guy an "out" to say something like, "Dude! I'm a manly man! I'm not looking at this stuff for me!! I'm, . . . looking for my . . . . . girlfriend. I mean wife! Yeah, that's it! wife."

Of course, it works so much better when you're browsing and a woman is in the aisle. For some odd reason, they are usually more than willing to help a "poor dumb guy" make himself look pretty and lend their expertise.

So, I have never had a problem "calling a sister out" and I would hope that anyone who sees me would do the same.

Kathi

[Lorileah]

I like Kathi's answer I remember when I was like the kid in "American Graffiti" A pack of chewing gum, some Junior Mints, an Enquirer, some batteries, (loudly) Trojans (want everyone to know that I am a guy and responsible) , oh and these (lays mascara, foundation, new lip liner, blush on counter while looking at the ceiling)

[sherri52]

I would have started a conversation but left it open for him to come back with some type of responce. If not subject is dropped.

[vetobob9]

hmmmmm

At a support meeting I was told, that i should not approach a sister i know or suspect, that is in drag, mostly to respect their privacy, and the fact that they might not be out. also some of the sisters were concerned of security...being military or police officers. So i try not to call attention...at least if they are strangers to me.

there are a few girls that i just hug when i see them because of familiarity....it's like hugging a bud.

plus i have not figured out the right...wink wink smile, that sends the message...i am on your side sister.

it always comes out...thumbs up wink...like....yeah you're really gonna look great in that....right! [What the heck are ya doin?]


hugs

msniki48

I wondered why the sales ladies would wink at me back when I was experimenting and buying women's clothing.

[NathalieX66]

The last run-in I had was when I went into a Limited store in a New Jersey mall three days ago, which the counter was being manned by two people: a young girl, and a 20something TG-ish CD'er. I was returning a dress that did not fit. I got the girl SA, and the TG stepped in and said "is something wrong with the dress?", and I said it's just not the right size. The TG started to nitpick whether the dress was worn, you know, because it looked unfolded, then I was able to exchange to something else.
It kind of caught me off-guard because I am familiar with most of the faces there except the new CD'er.

GG's, in general, just don;t seem to make much judgement, but TG sales staff seem to come alight, and start noticing everything.

[melissacd]

If you feel comfortable starting a conversation then start one. You will get a couple of responses, yes I am nice to meet you or what the hell are you talking about, get away from me (and they dash off). I suppose that they could attack you visciously as well if their self esteem and ego feel threatened but somehow I think that you can sense if a person is confrontational (hence the beginning of my post about your sense of comfort).

[Alice Torn]

[SIZE="3"][/SIZE]I have noticed quite a few guys, looking at women's clothes, and accessories lately! Each time, I point at them, and shout out, crossdresser!!!!!! NO, NOT REALLY! I usually just let them be, not act like i notice, as that is how i wanted to be not noticed.

[RADER]

Because my wife dosn't get out much (handicaped) I am the Walgreens
go-fir. Now you can find me in the make-up isle looking for lip-stick
to eye liner. And fingernail polish. She does not like the add on nails.
So if you were to ask me???? "Its for my wife"
I bet most of thoes men are there for much the same reason. Rader

[Mitzi]

A slightly different twist on this subject...

I was at a Target store en femme a couple of years ago, and noticed a guy browsing through women's apparel with a couple of items draped over his arm. Figuring he was cd, I approached him and said something, I don't recall what, to let him know I was "one" too. He looked up a bit startled, and disappeared in a hurry.

Mitzi

[dilane]

When I've seen other TG's or TS's in public places when I've been en femme, they have gotten a little rattled when they noticed me looking at them.

Other TG's probably are the rudest people they encounter, because we're obviously fascinated to ID another kindred soul, and we tend to stare (or at least that is my temptation).

So I now leave them be, and I definitely don't stare unless they can't see me.

In the case you mentioned, (where the guy was in drab, but a probable CD) I'd probably walk by and let him get his nails and leave the area before going back.

[NoraTV]

It is very likely that he could have been on an errand for his wife or SO. So the advice about giving a friendly smile and saying hello is probably sound. That puts the ball into his court.

I had a similar situation once in Payless. We were both standing staring at the narrow section of 11s through 13s. Most of the shoes looked like they had been designed at a barge company.

"Not much of a selection," I said. It was a non-committal statement. Depending on his reaction, I could have said something like, "I don't know why my girlfriend sends me on these stupid expeditions."

Instead he took up the hint and gave me another.

"Yeah, but the manager usually calls me when he gets in something that he thinks I would like," he replied. (That was the truth, as I found out.)

"Donna: and I walked across the street and had sandwiches and a couple of beers in a nearby tavern and became good girlfriends.

[SuzanneBender]

I would have said, "Sista make sure you buy the flat nails rather than the regular ones cause they fit better." or just grabbed the intercom and announced, "Crossdresser Isle 3."

Actually I probably would have just looked at him like I would anyone else in the store and smiled. If a conversation started from there great.

[Kerigirl2009]

I don't think I have ever seen a crossdresser, What is that? Ok J/K I know what I am and I think for me If I did see a man picking out feminine items I might just leave the area for a bit because I know for me when I am looking for makeup I have a very low tolerance for people around me. Now I guess If someone struck up a conversation with me I would just go with it. for me it is the initial interaction I think that makes me uncomfortable but once you know how they react then its no big deal.

[Super Amanda]

That's a touchy situation in my opinion. In my old days, I was nervous enough just looking in the makeup isle. If I thought someone was watching me, I may just chicken out completely, and be depressed over it later! But now it's a non-issue for me. So I suppose you just have to play it by ear!

[RADER]

I just remembered; Some time back I was doing a re-cover of a counter
top in a wierd collors with "Formica"
I could not get seam filler for the job in a timley mannor, So I went to
Walgreens and tryied to match the pink, red, and orange collors with
nail polish. The SA looked at me and wondered what was this big guy
doing with her nail polish. I showed her the samples and got all the help
in the world from 2 SA. Just thought I would share this one. Rader

[Sweet Jane]

was the guy buying bra and panties looking oddly at you two?.....in all honesty though, i never talk to any strangers just to talk with them....why on earth would i?