Tired

[TiffanyTgirl]

I am just exhausted. I am tired of the cold non acceptance we receive from society, familes, etc.. It is hard enough to survive in these times and a few minutes respite fully femme, or just a pair of heels seem to just fuel the intolerence. Nothing I seem to do will ever win my SO over to even a don't ask don't tell policy, it would kill my parents, end my construction career, and so on. I was even scolded when I went to a shop for drag queens. I was wearing a pair of heels at the time. They said that while they do support the crossdressing community, they do ask that if we come in, we do so appropriately dressed. I am tired of being made to feel like a freak. I guess if I just hung 60 fishhooks out of my face, that would be OK. I just needed to rant. Thanks for listening.

Tiffany

[Tamara Croft]

Since when is it a crime to wear a pair of heels to a shop? They cater for CD's, but expect you to dress how they want? pot/kettle... If I were you, I just wouldn't bother going in there again, they sound like idiots.

I'm sorry your wife can't be more accepting, have you asked her about joining here? maybe getting some advice or help from the FAB members?

[Nina]

I guess if I just hung 60 fishhooks out of my face, that would be OK.

Tiffany

No that would hurt and be a complete waste of fishhooks unless you plan of going to sea in a small boat an dunking your head under the water.

Can I ask if you had any other female clothes on when you went too the drag queen shop or just heels?

[TiffanyTgirl]

Just was wearing the heels. Which were covered by the legs of my jeans, which were men's. I was going to look at their shoes and wigs, but I felt so low after that was said to me, I couldn't leave fast enough.

Tamara, i have often thought of asking my SO to look into this or another forum. I just get the "look" and silence. However, she seems to be more tolerant when she wants something. I just worry that this step would come with too high of a price tag. We have been together 22 years, and she was aware of my desires early on. It never seems to improve or go anywhere.

[Nina]

Just was wearing the heels. Which were covered by the legs of my jeans, which were men's. I was going to look at their shoes and wigs, but I felt so low after that was said to me, I couldn't leave fast enough.

I would have said

"I was just about to spend a huge sum of money in here but I think I'll just take my money and my unwelcome shoes somewhere else now!"

[TiffanyTgirl]

I was so shocked that I just left. I can't remember if I even replied. It wasn"t the kind of response I was expecting. It seems to me that it would have been a safe place to go.

[Nicole Erin]

Man, F those B's.
What they REALLY told you was, "Your money is no good here, please go give it to another shop."
And I agree, you should give your money to a different store. Regular stores will take your money and provide you with product or service without telling you how to dress. Hell yeah!

One thing - Drag queens are not TG but are gay men. They don't usually have any clue about the feelings or goals of CD/TS.

With acceptance - this is a hard one. Ultimately what you have to do is live as you see fit. People will try to tell you how to live. What you do is make a fist, then hold up the middle finger, say "f u" and live as you see fit.

For intolerance, you wouldn't believe how many groups get that. Anyone who isn't "straight white suburban office working married and has 2.3 kids a white picket fence an SUV and a dog" is considered abnormal.

I go to school with two nice ladies who are black/white mix and they talk about intolerance and stuff. I feel them. Great gals.

WHY in the hell are the rest of us trying to please non-accepting a-holes? (Says in nasal voice) Who the hell are they to tell us how to be? What gives Mr Normal the right to decide how anyone should live?
You know what? I better stop cause a lot of cussing would ensue.

Tiffany it is your life, not theirs. No one has the right to tell you how to live, F them, let them be "intolerant". When they start paying your bills for free, then maybe, but while you work and pay YOUR bills, you should decide what is right

[Karren H]

The 60 fish hooks would help pull out my massive wrinkles... But the little holes would be ard to cover up.. Amazing that some people that we have so much in common with can be so friggin arrogant and look down on other people... Idiots!!


My wife isn't a big fan of my hobby either and it is a struggle..

[Sherry-Stephanie]

One thing you've got to learn sooner or later and sooner the better....

When you get into this game...what others think, you need to push aside, because you'll never pleased most and sometimes not anyone at all...so you've got to be kind of selfish and put yourself first....or not at all and just try to make everyone happy and get everyone to accept you...and if you try and do that you'll fail miserably and that's what you'll end up feeling...miserably because you didn't put your feelings first.

Sorry, Hon, but that's just the way it is dressing....

[sherri52]

The SAs responce would get me out of thier fast to. They would never see another nickel of my money and I would make it a point to badmouth them to other CDs.

[Stephenie S]

Yup. THAT store was the wrong place to be. No question. Take your hard earned money eleswhere. And tell them about it. A little note to the owner would help, maybe.

Stephie

[Lorileah]

There is an old saying, if you like the service you will tell a friend if you don't you will tell 7. You sort of just told thousands (but not really cuz you didn't say where the shop was)

[Lara Smith]

I am just exhausted. I am tired of the cold non acceptance we receive from society, familes, etc.. It is hard enough to survive in these times and a few minutes respite fully femme, or just a pair of heels seem to just fuel the intolerence. Nothing I seem to do will ever win my SO over to even a don't ask don't tell policy, it would kill my parents, end my construction career, and so on. I was even scolded when I went to a shop for drag queens. I was wearing a pair of heels at the time. They said that while they do support the crossdressing community, they do ask that if we come in, we do so appropriately dressed. I am tired of being made to feel like a freak. I guess if I just hung 60 fishhooks out of my face, that would be OK. I just needed to rant. Thanks for listening.

Tiffany

In many ways I know what you mean. I'm tired too of feeling less than. The reality is, I and you and most of us here, are more than.

That may be what so many find so hard to deal with. We aren't limited to the physical confines we were born with, our minds allow us to be so much more. Most can't deal with that. They can't even deal with what they have. We can. They resent that. I feel so sorry for them. They have no idea what they are missing in this life. We all are going to die, and when we do, we are going to regret what we didn't do far more than what we did.

[bethany356]

I want to apoligize on behalf of all the jerkface ignoramises out there! From my short time here, I think you ladies are some of the kindest sweetest it has ever been my pleasure to talk to... And it's their loss if if "they" don't want to realize it!

I know it sounds silly, but this song really helps when I get tired of everything... esp. this line... "Give me a chance to shine and I'ma blind the world/Take a stand and be the voice of those who cannot be heard"

You all rock my crazy colored socks! (Of which, one is neon green and the other is purple zebra stripes!)


Oh darn... Can't get it to work... If you care Here's the link


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pLt0afqRt0

[Andy66]

Are you sure you're telling us the whole story? It sounds like such a crazy reaction from a store that is supposed to cater to CDs.

Sorry to hear about your wife. Have you tried a counselor? It would be great if she would go with you, but even if she won't, a counselor might be able to give you some clues on how to communicate better with her.

[TiffanyTgirl]

Yes Anne. Here is the whole story. I went into this shop wearing a pair of black peep toe sling backs with a 4" heel. My guy jeans hung down covering most of the shoe and heel. I guess you could see my toes peeping out and and about 1-2 inches of heel. As I looked briefly at the wigs, I turned to go into the rest of the store. The clerk then said to me, While we do support the cd community, we do ask that when they come in, they come in fully dressed. I could really take it one way. Maybe I am being hypersensitive, but it just seemed very wrong to me.

Thanks Bethany

[Dutchess]

Some of you know , I was raised thru my teen years by my VERY gay drag queen first cousin ( in the 70's no less )... they can and will be very catty to one another as well as just plain folk- CD-GG etc ,,etc .. Even when being pleasant , there is that little edge there .. Heck,, my cousin is STILL somewhat catty to me and he loved me enough to raise me... I understand completely what you are talking about .....

Tell everyone you can and go elsewhere

[Erica2Sweet]

...Maybe I am being hypersensitive, but it just seemed very wrong to me...

I would have taken it the same way. In my opinion, it is their choice as to how to conduct business but it is also a hypocritical policy. I would not spend a penny at that shop.

[Andy66]

Maybe I am being hypersensitive, but it just seemed very wrong to me.

Yes, that does seem very wrong. Sorry, it just sounds so crazy. I imagine they will eventually drive themselves out of business with an attitude like that, and it will serve them right.

[TiffanyTgirl]

It could have been that particular SA, but it made a lasting impression on me. I don't know about other cd'rs, but I am very much on edge when out/ And places that should be safe turn out not to be, i find it unnerving.

[StacyCD]

In a recession it's hard to believe that they want to turn away business!

[Staci G]

Man, F those B's.
What they REALLY told you was, "Your money is no good here, please go give it to another shop."
And I agree, you should give your money to a different store. Regular stores will take your money and provide you with product or service without telling you how to dress. Hell yeah!

One thing - Drag queens are not TG but are gay men. They don't usually have any clue about the feelings or goals of CD/TS.

With acceptance - this is a hard one. Ultimately what you have to do is live as you see fit. People will try to tell you how to live. What you do is make a fist, then hold up the middle finger, say "f u" and live as you see fit.

For intolerance, you wouldn't believe how many groups get that. Anyone who isn't "straight white suburban office working married and has 2.3 kids a white picket fence an SUV and a dog" is considered abnormal.

I go to school with two nice ladies who are black/white mix and they talk about intolerance and stuff. I feel them. Great gals.

WHY in the hell are the rest of us trying to please non-accepting a-holes? (Says in nasal voice) Who the hell are they to tell us how to be? What gives Mr Normal the right to decide how anyone should live?
You know what? I better stop cause a lot of cussing would ensue.

Tiffany it is your life, not theirs. No one has the right to tell you how to live, F them, let them be "intolerant". When they start paying your bills for free, then maybe, but while you work and pay YOUR bills, you should decide what is right

AMEN SISTER!!!!!!!

These are for you girl you took the words out of my mouth.

[Alice Torn]

[SIZE="3"]I wonder if talking to the manager would have helped. Or, asking the SA if they could use your business, or asking if this was a military installation, or jail.[/SIZE]

[TiffanyTgirl]

I decided to take all my negative energy and channel it into a day en femme. I took a day off, spent a great deal of time on my makeup, put on my favorite denim skirt and just went out. Stopped at a convienience store, and on to the mall. The SA's at Lane Bryant were very nice as well as Payless. Went to J C Penny's and tried on some capris. Chickened out at the rest room. For the most part, no one even noticed me. Just another soccer mom shopping before the kids came home from school. I guess it was just time for my winter doldrums. My feet hurt at the end of the day, but I guess it was one of those pleasurable pains. I do feel alot better now. Thanks for letting me rant.