No ladies the grass is not greener.

[Nicole Erin]

The closet CD longs to be out.
The out CD gets to deal with the baggage of being out.

The closet CD doesn't have to worry about the baggage.
The out CD doesn't have to worry about hiding anything.

A non-passing TS has to worry about not being taken serious or ridicule.
A passable TS has to worry about having her past revealed.

An out CD really enjoys the dressing up en femme.
A TS may soon grow tired of the hassle of being pretty. (Me, I hate "dressing up")

A non-passing TG can say "yep this is who I am" and no one questions.
A passing TG may get scrutinized or accused of being fake cause some are jealous.

Doesn't it just bite how no matter what your gender status, out status, or looks, there is always going to be some kind of challenge?

Mine - Non-passable TS who is out. How do I feel? It is nice to live mostly as I want without hiding, but there isn't much "fun" to be had anymore. I don't worry about "what if they find out?" but do worry about being taken serious.

thoughts?

[Sally2005]

I'm a lot happier not thinging about it much. I do what I feel like when I can and if others find out, it may not be ideal for myself, but, I'll just have to deal with it then.

[Wen4cd]

Be thankful that there is always 'some kind of challenge.' It means you're alive, and that there's still joy to be found somewhere.

[Sweet Jane]

once it gets past 'playing dressup' it's called 'living'......thats the salient point, its the living how you need to be living....its not about the clothes, its about being you

[sherri52]

I think it's the challenges that keep us going. If there were no challenges more people would be doing what we do and we wouldn't be so unique

[ReineD]

A passing TG may get scrutinized or accused of being fake cause some are jealous.

You make very good points, Nicole! ... except the above.

It's become my pet peeve that there are so many TGs who believe that GGs are jealous of them (if this is whom you were referring to). Sorry, but I couldn't help trying to set the record straight by saying that overall (there may be some exceptions), this is not true. I do agree with the notion that every stage of the TG process carries with it its own blessings and challenges.

[EllieOPKS]

I think the biggest challenge is to find acceptance from others. It's one of the reasons I love this forum. People here are very non-judgemental. Regardless of an individuals particular situation, you can feel warmth and acceptance here. I wish the forum was a physical place where I could interact with others but all the same, its great to be around a group of like minded people.

[carolinoakland]

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my RLE. So, I'm out and happy. The more I do the more comfortable I get, it's not about 'passing' so much as just being right for me...Like every other woman does, and yes, I know many gg's who have more facial hair than I do... I love being the woman I am. I finally participate in life. And that's all I've ever really wanted to do, Carol

[Katesback]

I just gave up one the whole thing and go with the flow. For the most part I am pretty seamless in my day to day private life. I dont talk about being trans nor do I really care.

At work I do capitolize on being trans and do a lot of work for the trans community by educating the general public on how to help work with them in a positive way.

The one thing I like to say is that when all the fireworks die off, your past SRS and you are living what was once a dream it all of a sudden become normal life.

Perhaps that is why I love working with CDs. They often have a dream I once had and they visualize things but in reality being a girl is normal life.

Someone asked me the other day what it is like having an vagina. He went on to say he has always dreampt. My response was that life is about the same as it was before. I get up, get dressed, go to work, play rollerderby, do all the stuff I did before and to tell ya the truth I dont think about what is between my legs. Now there is one bonus, I dont have to wear a cup anymore!

[kellycan27]

The closet CD longs to be out.
The out CD gets to deal with the baggage of being out.

The closet CD doesn't have to worry about the baggage.
The out CD doesn't have to worry about hiding anything.

A non-passing TS has to worry about not being taken serious or ridicule.
A passable TS has to worry about having her past revealed.

An out CD really enjoys the dressing up en femme.
A TS may soon grow tired of the hassle of being pretty. (Me, I hate "dressing up")

A non-passing TG can say "yep this is who I am" and no one questions.
A passing TG may get scrutinized or accused of being fake cause some are jealous.

Doesn't it just bite how no matter what your gender status, out status, or looks, there is always going to be some kind of challenge?

Mine - Non-passable TS who is out. How do I feel? It is nice to live mostly as I want without hiding, but there isn't much "fun" to be had anymore. I don't worry about "what if they find out?" but do worry about being taken serious.

thoughts?

For this TS I am not worried about my past being revealed, but I don't walk around with a sign around my neck or carrying a sign.I am not ashamed of being a transsexual. I just want to be able to conduct my life without being a curiosity, or having to explain things to the intellectually challenged types who don't get the concept. Whether someone is cool with transsexuals or not is of no consequence to me.
As for getting tired of being pretty, it's not some much being tired as much as being practical. I have an SO, a full time job,a household to run, and a lot of outside activities so I don't always have the time or energy to get all "dolled up" to run to the market or the mall. Not to mention my "bad hair days" . I can't call off of work because I am not feeling it or because I don't look my best. I just have to own it.
Scrutiny.... Most of mine comes via the TG community. I have very little tolerance for BS, and I am not someone who is PC. I pretty much call them like I see them, which some seem to take as not being supportive, or as being aloof. You can't please all of the people all of the time.

Kel

You make very good points, Nicole! ... except the above.

It's become my pet peeve that there are so many TGs who believe that GGs are jealous of them (if this is whom you were referring to). Sorry, but I couldn't help trying to set the record straight by saying that overall (there may be some exceptions), this is not true. I do agree with the notion that every stage of the TG process carries with it its own blessings and challenges.

It happens, but as you say it's more the exception than the rule ( speaking from personal experince.)

[Karren H]

Well I'm happy for who I am.... And I scored a awesome goal last night at hockey and even through we got slaughtered 8-1 I still feel fabulous and just happy to be alive doing what I love to do..

[KimberlyJo]

Such is life. I think you can apply this line of thinking to pretty much any situation.

[Alicia Grey]

I don't know what I was thinking, since I found this forum my dressing has elevated to the point of thinking that I could move somewhere and start life over as a female. This "Grass is not always greener" thread has shocked me back to sensibility and has probably saved what is left of my available credit.

Crossdressing has always been a part of me, and always will. I will not purge as I have in the past. The pink fog is a powerful addictive.

Love you girls, but i must regroup now and think things over.

[Bev06 GG]

Golly Nicole,
Sounds like your really down in the dumps. I guess if we all based our happiness on what others thought we'd all come up with a similar mantra. I know it can't be easy for TS or CDs but there are other people who are just as challenged too. My sister was born with Scoliosis and for years she was teased at school about being a hunch back. She has now had the operation but still bears the scars and doesn't like to be seen in a swimming costume.
Hope things get better for you and you dont go too far down the negative path, its not good for you.
Take care
Bev

[kellycan27]

My response was that life is about the same as it was before. I get up, get dressed, go to work, play rollerderby, do all the stuff I did before and to tell ya the truth I dont think about what is between my legs. Now there is one bonus, I dont have to wear a cup anymore!

My life is nothing like it used to be in any way,shape or form. I am much happier, more confident, more outgoing, and my self esteem is off the charts.
It's like the lowly caterpillar that morphed into the butterfly, no longer living a solitary life of munching leaves, but flitting from flower to flower, sampling the nectar, and seeing and experiencing the world and what it has to offer from a whole new and exciting prospective. Kind of mushy I know, but I don't know how else to describe it.
Kelly

[Kate Simmons]

Well Hon I'm always up for a challenge. If someone thinks they can do better , more power to 'em I say. I don't really need to impress anyone else anyway as I am by far my own best critic. My theme song is Pat Benatar's "Hit me with your best shot". Like Mary Poppins I make the task or chore or challenge a game and have fun with it.

[windycissy]

Funny, I was just about to start a thread asking whether it ever gets old for those who have made the move to living as women, dressing 24/7. I'm always bummed when I have to morph back into guy mode, but I've been wondering whether I'd get tired of it all if the excitement of a secret life was replaced by the daily tedium of shaving my legs, etc. After reading all the responses I guess it depends on the person, I envy Kelly her wonderful positive attitude, and I'm more understanding of the everyday trials that the transition to womanhood can bring, thanks for a great thread.

[Nicole Erin]

I was just about to start a thread asking whether it ever gets old for those who have made the move to living as women, dressing 24/7.

A lot of the post ops or full time TS I have talked to said life pretty much goes on as normal.

Reine said about jealousy - that is more from other TG than anyone.

Having a vagina? I personally don't care what is down there as long as it works.

[Carole Cross]

As a non passing pre-op TS, I do sometimes worry about how I am percieved but I am much happier being out than hiding in the closet. I do get ridiculed occasionally although it is very rare these days and I try not to let it bother me.

[kellycan27]

As a non passing pre-op TS, I do sometimes worry about how I am percieved but I am much happier being out than hiding in the closet. I do get ridiculed occasionally although it is very rare these days and I try not to let it bother me.

As long as you are happy... stick and stones.

[Persephone]

Such is life. I think you can apply this line of thinking to pretty much any situation.

I think it's called Real Life. Ya just gotta put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

[linnea]

You make very good points, Nicole! ... except the above.

It's become my pet peeve that there are so many TGs who believe that GGs are jealous of them (if this is whom you were referring to). Sorry, but I couldn't help trying to set the record straight by saying that overall (there may be some exceptions), this is not true. I do agree with the notion that every stage of the TG process carries with it its own blessings and challenges.

Everything in life "carries with it its own blessings and challenges." I agree with this, and for me, the blessings have outweighed the challenges, more positives than negatives. As far as TG issues, I would prefer to enjoy the blessings of being fully out even though I know that it would not be without its challenges and negatives.

[kimdl93]

yup, life is filled with dicotomies. As a non-passable CD, I just have to accept the realities and enjoy the gratification that I can find in life as I experiece it. Certainly, I can't walk around the mall or go out dining with my wife in full dress, but at home we're able to be fully open...and that's pretty good.

[ReineD]

Reine said about jealousy - that is more from other TG than anyone.

Oh! Well that clears it up then, thank you.