Living with the thought............

[janelle]

Good day all, hope you are all toasty warm. It is -5 here as of this writing.

When I first started transitioning I had no wish to have surgery to complete my trip. Since than I feel I am not whole, that part of me is dead, & don't know what I will do if I never could get the surgery to be the woman I want to be or should I say was meant to be. I told my shrink this today & she was shocked that I have come to this point. We talked & alot of these feelings are because at work I basicly am a freak, half man & half woman, that is how I am seen & thus treated as some person with something that could killed the whole place if they got to close & talked with me.

I guess I want to know if you could not get the surgery's you wanted, could you still handle being, as my work terms it, half N half??

Yes, I know I am a woman & feel as such, but when a good part of your life you are treated otherwise it hurts

Hugs to you all.

PS, for the F t M's, if things advance to where a penis was able to be added & work as well as things do for us M t F's, could you live without having it done, guess its the same question but I really want to know how you feel about this also.

Thanks everybody..............................Hugs again,

Janelle

[boardpuppy]

Hi Janelle,
I felt different all my life, more confortable around GG than GM's, even to this day i feel the same. But as things stand today, everything considered SRS won't happen. Will I go full time, that's something that I think about when the snow is flying and things are quiet. I still have issues to deal with and don't know when anything can be settled. I get looks when out and about because of how I look, I want to tell them that I won't bite. I am normal for me. This is the bible belt were people are not tolerated for the different of any kind. Can I handle the "not being tolerated", that question is still farther done my list.

Hugs,
Alice

[kellycan27]

There are of lot of transsexuals that opt not to have SRS and lead normal lives. I am pre-op and have been living f/t for close to 6 years. Although I will have srs in the near future the time spent so far has been wonderful. My outside is just cosmetic, and in no way defines my inside. I am fortunate in that I do have the ability to one day have my outside match the inner me, but I am certain that if this was in fact not the case, I could live and enjoy my life as a happy and productive woman. As long as you are comfortable with yourself, and not running around with your "genes" around your ankles .. nobody but you should be any the wiser.

Kelly

[janelle]

See Kelly thats the problem, work has put restroom restrictions on me until I have surgery so EVERYONE KNOWS. In turn most of the other workers, both male & female treat me as some kind of freak. The only ones that are standing by me there are those I have known for many years. I have address this with the company & they tell me give them names & they will take care of it, firing them. Just what I want to do, tell & then get black balled by everyone else. I need to follow thru & not sure I will be able too. If I can not I do not know if I can live with this kind of treatment. Does any of this make sense to you?? Hope so.

Thank you both for your input.

Hugs

[kellycan27]

See Kelly thats the problem, work has put restroom restrictions on me until I have surgery so EVERYONE KNOWS. In turn most of the other workers, both male & female treat me as some kind of freak. The only ones that are standing by me there are those I have known for many years. I have address this with the company & they tell me give them names & they will take care of it, firing them. Just what I want to do, tell & then get black balled by everyone else. I need to follow thru & not sure I will be able too. If I can not I do not know if I can live with this kind of treatment. Does any of this make sense to you?? Hope so.

Thank you both for your input.

Hugs

Where do you live? Do you work for a large company? Do they have an HR dept? Feel free to pm me with your answers. It's a little hard to try and help point you in a direction as you are a bit vague. What sort of restroom restrictions?
Let me just say that SRS is not a cure all. you are still going to have to deal with idiots from time to time, but there are ways to minimize it

Kel

[janelle]

Hi Kelly, I live in La Crosse, Wisc., I work for Trane Company. We are a union shop & I have talked with them & the "HR" dept. also. Union says its all contract issues & HR says they are just doing what the Corprate offices tell them.

As far as the restroom. It is a single stall ladies room in the front of the plant. Somedays I end up walking about a block & a half to use it when one is half a block away. That is the only one I can use until I have surgery is what I have been told.

I know SRS is not a cure all but at least the things at work would be taken care & I have been told more people ( mostly the ladies) would feel better & freer around me & maybe invite me all the way into their circle. I don't know.

As far as dealing with idiots, thats a life long job for everyone, weather a transgender person or a genic one. Yes we all have idiots to look out for, mine at work just need some education about what I am doing & the rest would be fine.

Hope this answers what you wanted to know. If you wish to know more please ask. I am very open to the family here as many have helped so I hide nothing.

Take care sweetie, hugs,
Janelle