How do you act?

[Kate Simmons]

This is directed mostly towards those who go all out en femme when going out in public to interact and/or intermingle with others. How do you act? By that I mean what is your manner? Are you just yourself or do you attempt to portray a different image entirely? It's mentioned here how some will go to great lengths to learn to walk and talk like a woman when en femme. What do you think is accomplished by doing that and do you think anyone other than yourself really cares and do you really think it's necessary?

It's been my experience that most people will accept you for being the person you are, appearance notwithstanding. Sometimes it makes it that much more difficult to be accepted when we are putting on some kind of act or "front" and others know it. I've noticed many CD's sit isolated in the corner afraid to interact but women(who we want to emulate) are friendly and outgoing for the most part.

Regardless of how well we may be able to "pass" or "blend" being at ease and being ourselves as much as possible will not only bring us more liklihood of acceptance but will make us feel better as well.

[Kathi Lake]

I'm simply me no matter which side of the closet I happen to get dressed from. I use my guy voice and my guy name, and it doesn't matter. First off, there's no way I could be mistaken for a woman from anything but a distance. I think they know soon after meeting me, though, that I am very comfortable with myself, and they are comfortable with me in kind. It all works out just fine.

Kathi

[janet p]

The only thing that I do different when dressed is that I don't crawl under the car and change oil!

[AllieSF]

I go out dressed a lot and intentionally interact with others, male, female, gay, lesbian, young and old. I always act as me, happy, positive, interested, curious, opinionated, etc. I do try to look, act and sound more femme. However, I do not dwell on that and am more interested in the human one on one interaction. I would like to have a more feminine presentation and voice and do a much better job on my makeup. I am like many and pass at a distance but not up close, and THAT doe NOT bother me in the least.

I do have to strongly disagree with you on one point. Based on my personal experience of being out dressed up more than 100 times in the past 3 years, I have received no lack of acceptance as to how I and some of my friends who look much better and have the feminine voice and mannerisms down pretty well present ourselves. We have always been readily accepted as who we are. Actually, I think that improving the voice and mannerisms just make the overall experience for all parties much more enjoyable. Think about it, here you see a guy dressed up very well and presenting pretty damn well too, and then you here a deep masculine voice. I have seen a few double takes when that deep voice comes into play. I have a very obvious male voice that I can change to a higher and much more femme level and sound, but I always forget to make the extra effort when I am having such a good time talking with others, which happens to be my strong point, or maybe not depending on the listener. Heck, we are already putting on an "act" when we show up dressed like a woman. Why do an incomplete job if we want and can do better?

[Persephone]

I just came back from the exercise center, so I'm sitting here en femme after "fitting in" for the past hour.

For me, it is not an "act," it is an expression of who I am.

There is enough "guy stuff" that I like, or that maybe I had to like to the point that it became part of me, that I still really do frequently in "guy world."

And I find that I am awfully used to some of the "perks" of "being a guy."

But if there is an "act" in who I am and what I do, then it may be more on that side then on this side. When I'm standing around at a cocktail party, wearing a suit and tie, it's an act.

[Nigella]

Personally I have never tried to change how I walk, talk, eat, drink or any other aspect of who I am.

Why try to change for the sake of appearances, those who you are trying to "fool" have very little impact on your life. Besides any time there was a play at school I was always a tree, I couldn't act for toffee.

[msginaadoll]

Yes I do try to act and as well speak in a matter and tone that I feel is apropriate for my appearance. Why because I can, maybe it goes deeper. Maybe because I have problems with a disconnect between a feminine appearance and masculine voice. Maybe there is something deeper in my dressing. Maybe I feel it makes people more comfortable with who I present as> all of them are valid in my opinion.

[carhill2mn]

I try to act appropriately for the manner in which I am dressed. However, I have never been an overtly "macho" man so, in many ways, I am still "being myself".

[skirted]

when dressed i know my mannerisms a touch more effeminate and i'm a bit less shy than normal. but i don't adjust my voice or anything else. when dressed i'm just a more honest me.

[StaceyJane]

I'm the same person no matter how I'm dressed. I do try to remember to keep my legs crossed while wearing a skirt.

[Nigella]

I do try to remember to keep my legs crossed while wearing a skirt.

And make sure the toes point towards the door, not away from it

[vikki2020]

I do walk a bit different, and talk a bit softer, and I try to be as ladylike as I can. 4" heels will do that to ya! I do try to not only change my appearance, but I change my attitude, my demeanor, and my outlook on things. Nothing drastic, but a side of me that maybe I only let out when I'm dressed. As I move along farther on this journey, I do see the two sides coming together more and more.

[sterling12]

When I go out, I think I become more "aware" of talking with a softer voice, minding my manners, and generally trying to not be "jarring" to others around me. We have often stated The Purpose is to "Blend," and not "Pass." I would imagine that at least some of The Confrontations that have been read about on this Forum might have been avoided with a different presentation.

I'm often out in Social Situations, where I am representing, or I am presenting with My Support Group. We would like for The General Public to have a positive opinion about Trans People, so we don't dress like "Uber-****," nor get raucous. Remember, if your "out," your still conveying to The Public an impression of who all of us are; whether you want to or not! It makes sense to try and be "Ladylike!" I find that GG's are often much more tolerant and accepting, if your not trying to look/act like a Drag Queen doing a show.

Lots of people don't pass, and it doesn't matter......but, everybody can behave like a Lady! To me it's very simple. How would you like people to think about you? How would you like them to think about all of us?

Peace and Love, Joanie

[tamarav]

[SIZE=4]While selling cosmetics and fragrances at Macy's over the holidays as Tami, one of my neighbors stopped by and bought some perfume for his wife. We stood and talked for about 40 minutes and toward the end he said, "huh, you sound and act just like Andy (my male persona)" so I am assuming that I am not much different in either guise.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]I am a fairly "soft" person to start with, and find that I can fit into most situations while dressed without major effort. I have been crossdressing and working for a long time and find that it is as natural as it gets. My voice is not totally male or female, I just talk a bit softer.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]So, what was the question again?...[/SIZE]

[katie.anne.rose]

the funny thing is my voice was a wee bit higher than i liked at high school so i lowered it, i used to be very effeminite and got picked on because of it, so i butched up for a few years until school was over at least, anyway that aside i now go a semi tone higher with my voice when enfem and people i speak to already know no matter how well i dress or speak so i just drink, dance and enjoy.

[lisalove]

I was thinking I was the only one that didn't change anything when out enfemme. Boy was I wrong after reading most of these replies.
I'm just me, just more dolled up when out. I don't even remember to look in the mirror when in the loo to check my make up.
Although one time out with the gurls, someone commented that my voice was more feminine, and I wasn't trying for it to be, and I didn't know Iwas doing it.

[Sally2005]

At first, it seems really odd to change your voice and mannerisms. But, if you practice the body movements they come natually after a while and that is important to present a congruent female image. ...it is all just part of presenting as female and trying to blend in. Voice is a tough one...unless you are very good at it, it sounds off. And I think it takes a lot of brain power to interact and speak, add changing your voice to that and try to think of anything meaning full to say. Your voice is also what you hear in your head when you think so it feels really unnatural to change it. To me changing the voice it is just an extension of the whole dressing up...I just don't do it much because I'm not good enough to make it work.

[noeleena]

Hi.

It will all so depend on how comfortable you are in your self . as to how you react to others . as i have said it allso depends on how you are wired .
Many here are male & talk & live as . yet you seem to do a great take off as female .
Im not looking at your pic . i m looking at how you talk . ( not the voice ) how you express your selfs . with the touch of male thinking interspersed with the females touch . quite interesting .
As a fool acting i dought it very much acting at all, no, i could not pull it off .
having said that then how is it i get on so well with others .

Like last night , i went to a Robbie Burns night .the scot s will know what i mean . scots back ground . & sort of felt a bit out of place . not knowing any one .
i did ,there were 5 i knew who spoke to me & then we had some songs
& had some other ladys talk to me . then at supper time interacted with many more . & a few guys .it was a good night . & i will join up again with them,
What i m getting at is . its not acting its accepting both ways . to have a good time you must give of your self as well , oh we had over 60 people so its well worth the while metting people & going to outings

...noeleena...

[Loni]

i know when i have a pair of heels on i get a wiggle in my walk, that i have a hard time doing in male shoes.

other than that i am just....me. not overly in your face male and not overly female.

.