Exactly. the title says it all. I thought i was just a cd up until just recently that it has been the 100th or something time that i wished i had breasts. i thought i stopped at just enjoying who i am and all that i can wear. i've been also angry at myself for not looking at women as much as i used to, i never really looked at women in that sort of way. it was somewhere between a sexual way and "oh i wish i had her body/breasts" just the other day i saw a very pretty girl at the mall close to my age maybe a bit older. she was HOT. perfect everything. then i realized that what i was actually thinking wasn't what i wanted myself to think. my unconsciousness was many steps ahead of me when a split second later i noticed that i wasn't attracted to her but jealous of her perfectly feminine body.
i really don't know what else to say. its too overwhelming also that the whole femme/emotion thing been fluctuating. i've been depressed and mood swings and it all very irritating. and the most confusing part about the whole thing is that i keep telling myself why couldn't i just start going to the gym to build up some muscle and get a girlfriend like i should have for a some time. honestly if i really want to i can do it. i feel like now is the time that i can really go out there and do it yet, which brings me to my next question: why am i still on this website reading and writing?
can anyone just honestly help me please?