Are you more "you" when dressed / out and about?

[Claire Cook]

I'm attaching some quotes from Suzanne and me about stripping away that hard uptight male exterior, and wonder how many of you feel the same way? I share her feeling of being "complete".

I wonder how many of you experience this: in drab, I tend to be uptight, self-conscious and anxious; dressed, just the opposite.

I find it amazing how many of the girls I know including myself become more bubbly and confident when we are dressed. Lets face it being a stoic hard nose guy really stinks and its nice to just let your hair down and be you. I am not sure if it is a function of our behavior when we are femme being different or a frustraion with not being able to express all of the traits when we are en drab that makes the difference.

I am the same way. Folks that know both sides of me say that they can tell that I am much happier as a woman. For me I can only describe it as being complete.

[Rogina B]

Absolutely,in my male life,I can't be whimsical or a little silly,or a little spontaneous or easily excitable,as well as selfish for time to get my look just right!.."they aren't guy traits". My good feelings start as soon as I have "carved out" the out and about Rogina time.The good feelings start to fill my thoughts. I've had enough of "guy life",time to live pretty!

[Renee_E]

I have been drifting to more of a balance. Showing a macho face has never been natural with me. As I get older I don't care as much if I appear masculine, I try tend to be more me' which is a blend of both worlds.

[jasmine57]

I find that I've been not only more relaxed but more content with my femme side. The feelings go a lot farther than just the dressing. It's become the part of my life where I'm most comfortable. After all the years of being the strong macho type, it's wonderful being able to be the strong femmenine type.

[Kate Simmons]

Yeah but I tend to be more soft spoken in guy mode and more of a go getter tomboy in girl mode.

[Madilyn A.]

I agree with the previous comments, I have for as long as I can remember been more comfortable in femme. In drab, almost always will gravitate towards the women's conversations, at parties, weddings, even large gatherings for sporting events, I have concluded that I am other than my plumbing more her than him and hence more comfortable, more myself, and therefore more happy in femme. I wonder how many of the other girls feel they are more natural in femme, and that their plumbing is wrong.

[Marissa Mae]

I totally agree with the op's statement! When dressed as Marissa and out on the town, I am a totally different person. Much easier to laugh, relax, and just feel normal because I am able to express myself without the pressure of fitting in as a guy. The "macho pretense" is rather old; going out as Marissa makes me feel like I am 21 again, starting out anew with a whole new world to explore.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I used to feel more-so this way, but I do think that my feminine side and masculine side have merged pretty well, especially since coming out. I do think that I feel a little more relaxed and such when I'm wearing skirts, but that also may be because I'm just in a situation where I'm comfortable and have let my hair down so to speak.

I think there's a few different reasons why being en femme does this to people though. I think for some it's just that once we've broken the social barrier for "How a man should behave," it's easy to shed our inhibitions and just be ourselves. I do think for some though, especially those who really think of their female self as a different person, it's an escapism thing sometimes or a way of shifting the blame. "Oh, that wasn't me, that was her."

[Katesback]

I have seen two different personalities in CD friends. The serious male self and then the more at ease girl presentation.

I have said it before and will say it again. From my extensive interaction and experience I really suspect that a large percentage of CDs are really TS but for 1000 reasons choose not to transition.

Not saying all CDs are ts though.

In any case it is always nice to see my friends get to escape.

Katie

[Bunny Girl Zoe]

Have say my female side better and I feel she is stongest in me.

[Janet K.]

I agree with Madilyn. In guy mode, I also tend to lean more towards the girls conversations at parties and gatherings. I am a huge gossip. When I am en femme, I am more confident in myself and feel like I am meant to go out this way. I do not feel that the clothes I normally wear on a daily basis are what I should be wearing, and am more comfortable in heels, hose, and women's clothing. I also feel that I was plumbed wrong.

[Brandi Wyne]

Wow! From all the remarks so far, I feel so out of place. I am comfortable as male and enjoy the male conversations equally with the womens'. However, I do easily fit into the conversations of the women I'm around. When I am dressed and out and about, I do feel a bit bolder yet softer in some social ways. I was never the jock and never wanted to be the center of attention, either. As Brandi, I am feeling that that is who I am and act accordingly.

[Kathi Lake]

Interesting! I hadn't thought of it quite that way.

As I've always posted, when I am out, I don't necessarily change my personality - I'm still just me, no matter which side of the closet I get dressed from. Your question has made me think; Am I more me when dressed? That's the interesting question.

I guess it depends on what you mean by more. Am I more relaxed? Definitley. Am I more at ease? Yep! Am I a better person dressed than when I am in "normal drag" as a boring stodgy old guy? If we discount my lovely wife's opinion, I would have to say yes. I guess that the freedom from the shackles of male existence lets me be effusive, spontaneous, happy, nurturing, caring, unguarded. It does let the me that is usually hidden shine through.

To me, I'm still me - whether a he or a she - and I am thinking it's a great place to be!

Kathi

[kimdl93]

Like Kathi, I'm pretty much the same person regardless of how I dress. What I do think is true is that as over the years I've more thoroughly embraced my feminine side, I'm less irritable. I think its because I'm allowing myself to feel something that was at one time largely repressed...and that ain't healthy.

[charlie]

Hello Claire!
I'm more comfortable in fem mode. I can just be me and not have to worry if I'm crossing my legs too much, making to many hand gestures, or walking with a bit of a wiggle. Because my wife hates my CD, I must address each "side of the coin" so to speak according to how I'm dressed. Same coin, different actions.

[Claire Cook]

Like Kathi, I'm pretty much the same person regardless of how I dress. What I do think is true is that as over the years I've more thoroughly embraced my feminine side, I'm less irritable. I think its because I'm allowing myself to feel something that was at one time largely repressed...and that ain't healthy.

As I think about everyone's comments in this thread, I'm coming to this conclusion as well -- I'm more at ease being "me" even when I am not dressed. But I am still sure as hell more comfortable, giggly, giddy, chatty when en femme! Like tonight at CVS -- I immediately got into a great conversation with two girls about buying a tiny snow shovel. We were all giggly at the end!

[danielle.cd]

Wow! From all the remarks so far, I feel so out of place. I am comfortable as male and enjoy the male conversations equally with the womens'. However, I do easily fit into the conversations of the women I'm around. When I am dressed and out and about, I do feel a bit bolder yet softer in some social ways. I was never the jock and never wanted to be the center of attention, either. As Brandi, I am feeling that that is who I am and act accordingly.

you shouldnt some of us just have to hold up a male role to a different standered than others from what i see, now me im laid back either way but i feel i can escape the manly natures for a while when im enfemm and it feels so good to be free so to speak, now im more like u but can see how the other guys feel, also its all about how u are and have been preseved as a male, people see u as a big bad biker guy and you go and say something softer and more femmenin like, people would be like wtf, or your the avid hunter and you say something like i have to tinkle or go to the potty

[Nicole Brown]

Hi Claire,

I find that as time goes by, I am more Nicole all of the time. She has been taking over more and more of late and no matter how I am dressed, I tend to be Nicole. True, when I am presenting as Nicole I tend to act and feel more feminine and feel more like I should feel. I tend to be happier and more full of life when I am out as Nicole and always look forward to these times.

[dilane]

The male program is a bit limiting -- sports, job, cars, oogling chicks.

However, I've always been androgynous in personality, comfortable chatting with the women at parties, had very close girl friends as a child, etc. I can shift conversation gender (the things talked about) easily in drab.

I go out en femme to "regular places" and enjoy my conversations with women; I like small talk.

One thing I notice is that as a guy it's harder to engage in casual conversation with a young woman, but easier en femme.

[Lorileah]

I am more relaxed when I am out and dressed. That is sort of the idea. If I wasn't I'd just stay home...in my closet...complaining about how no one understands me. Besides my female side doesn't have to worry about making a living or keeping the house or any other daily grind.

When I am out as a guy I have fun also. Like I said, that's the reason to go out

[AllieSF]

I am basically the same while out in male or female mode. I am extroverted and have no problem interfacing with others. I may be a bit more extroverted while en femme, but for me it is too close to call.

[Sally24]

I am comfortable in both modes but lately I do feel a little bit more "me" in girl mode. It helps that Sally just gets to do the fun stuff while S***** has to do all the dirty jobs. If I had to stay in just one mode or the other, I probably would vote for Sally.