anybody else bothered by this

[danielle.cd]

i know we all have seen the crossdresser/ transvestite that act way above and beyond what a true female acts like, now i spend alot a time around girls and alot of what they do is not as feminin as u think, most girls dont try to hide behind there hair when talking to someone and they dont raise there voice so high while doing so, even the shy ones when cought off guard just act stunned and dont normaly hide or hang there head, women talk just like men do about there bodies but they dont get all exited and googoo gaga over it most of the time it ends up in a discution with a solution. and most women stand up straight and walk ecspecialy in heals,when there running in a dress they dont scream and shuffle there feet, most the women i know have to work at looking good in a dress its not a natural thing and they dont look like that all the time, let face it why do they try to be more femenin than a female is its a dead give away and makes us look bad,

how many women do you know that have there hand near there shoulder when they walk come on
am i the only one that sees this

[PetiteDuality]

Maybe we need to try harder because we don't have all the feminine traits they have...

[Gillian]

You are spot on with your observations, as CD/TV's it is very easy to go OTT I make the most of my time simply observing the clothing styles and ways to walk and hold the arms as I love being quite a natural in my style and am not so much into See level skirts and navel necklines, I like the real life looks and have several GG's I look at for inspiration.

[Katesback]

How very interesting. All thouse little subtle things we humans do.

Just the other day I was visiting two friends. One CD, one TS who is still fairly early in her transition, and then me who..........well I am me, LOL. OK Ok I am basically three years into transition.

In any case we were sitting around and I was able to pay close attention to our interaction. It was very interesting to watch the difference between my CD friend who acted in subtle gestures more masculine, then I would look to my early TS friend and watch her mannerisms which were somewhere in between CD and TS. In any case it was very intersting to just sit there and watch.

Call it evolution before your eyes.

[Joanne f]

It is because you are trying to be someone else whereas they are just being themselves.

[Katesback]

Well I like to say I am trans species and trying to transition into a zebra. At the time we were talking though I was not using a feed bag or shitting on the floor. LOL

[Kate Simmons]

It all goes back to just being yourself my friend. The rest naturally follows.

[JamieOH]

i tied cding as a zebra, but never could get my stripes to look natural, and all the real zebras made fun of me. think i will stick to bein me.

[minalost]

Maybe we need to try harder because we don't have all the feminine traits they have...

And if we try too hard we just get clocked in public...

You are spot on with your observations, as CD/TV's it is very easy to go OTT I make the most of my time simply observing the clothing styles and ways to walk and hold the arms as I love being quite a natural in my style and am not so much into See level skirts and navel necklines, I like the real life looks and have several GG's I look at for inspiration.

Watch the GGs. Practice a lot. I think vidio is a good idea too. I use a voice recorder to work on my voice.

It is because you are trying to be someone else whereas they are just being themselves.

Too True.

[DinaMature]

i know we all have seen the crossdresser/ transvestite that act way above and beyond what a true female acts like, now i spend alot a time around girls and alot of what they do is not as feminin as u think, most girls dont try to hide behind there hair when talking to someone and they dont raise there voice so high while doing so, even the shy ones when cought off guard just act stunned and dont normaly hide or hang there head, women talk just like men do about there bodies but they dont get all exited and googoo gaga over it most of the time it ends up in a discution with a solution. and most women stand up straight and walk ecspecialy in heals,when there running in a dress they dont scream and shuffle there feet, most the women i know have to work at looking good in a dress its not a natural thing and they dont look like that all the time, let face it why do they try to be more femenin than a female is its a dead give away and makes us look bad,

how many women do you know that have there hand near there shoulder when they walk come on
am i the only one that sees this

I'm pleased that I'm not the only curmudgeon on this forum... validation is a comfort.

Yes, I've noticed this. Often, the gestures and mannerisms remind me of a very self important little girl or supercilious geriatric.
Other examples (the artsy hair in the face) speak more of disdainful adolescence.

In either case, they're very unseemly. And it's much less endearing when seen on a person outside of those core groups.
When seen on a CD or overtly flamboyant male, instead of getting my respect for courageously exploring another walk in life, the offender (edited for general consumption) is poorly considered.

[EnglishRose]

when there running in a dress they dont scream and shuffle there feet

...

how many women do you know that have there hand near there shoulder when they walk come on
am i the only one that sees this

Er

Can't say I've ever seen these behaviors, to be honest...

[gabimartini]

I tend to agree with you, Danielle. Some people overdo it so much that they end up way overboard.

On the other hand, achieving that "just right" amount of feminine affectation is not easy. Many genetic girls are pretty masculine, but they get away with it because they are girls to begin with!

I guess that's why practice (and honest feedback) are so important in finding what works for each one. Many of us find out along the road that sometimes less is more.

[PetiteDuality]

And if we try too hard we just get clocked in public...

Totally agree... but so we will if we don't try hard enough.

It's a tradeoff. Plus practice, practice and more practice

[Rachel Morley]

I agree. Some folks in their quest to irradiate their masculine behavior will over compensate and start doing things that are what they perceive as what a woman might do, when in fact what they are doing is a caricature of feminine behavior (as depicted I don't know where?) but somehow they think it's appropriate. If it's just a fun thing to do to "flit" around the house for fun I guess that's ok but I wouldn't recommend you do it public when trying to pass

[Angelofsomekind]

It is because you are trying to be someone else whereas they are just being themselves.

I am more of who I really am when I am dressed. I'm not trying to be anyone else when I get dressed up!

[sherri52]

What women do is done naturally. We CDs have to work on it. You are right on some extent as to things they don't do but as CDs neither do we. It is the drag queens that go the extra movements. They do this to get noticed we CDs are trying to blend in.

[AmandaM]

Well (puts hand on hip), it depends. Are they flaming or fluffy? There's a behaviour spectrum there I think.

[Hope]

Yeah - sure - of course. We have all seen that. But it is not just with MtF folks, it is with everyone who is trying to fake it until they make it. It's the reason "big league chew" exists.

Everyone, before they become a legitimate member of a community, goes through a time period where they emulate the folks they are trying to be - and often over do it - until they get the feel of what it really is to be a member of whatever community.

Gender is perhaps a little bit more blatant than others - because for most folks there is a very bright line between who is in and who is out. Those who are out NEVER get any sort of idea what it is to be in, and vice versa... And so the "natural" training is completely absent, and those who wish / need to make the switch are forced into an even more flamboyant period of enculturation.

Of course there is another complicating factor here too. There are those who are interested in making the switch - and those will eventually tone down and learn to blend (for the most part). And then there are those who are not at all interested in making the big transition, and who are living out some sort of fantasy involving petty-coats, fetish heels, and lollypops (not that there is anything wrong with that) and those folks are never going to blend, even if they know how, - it would ruin the fantasy. And that is completely legitimate too - but it is completely different than the girls who - well, are girls.

[msniki48]

I tend to agree with you, Danielle. Some people overdo it so much that they end up way overboard.

On the other hand, achieving that "just right" amount of feminine affectation is not easy. Many genetic girls are pretty masculine, but they get away with it because they are girls to begin with!

I guess that's why practice (and honest feedback) are so important in finding what works for each one. Many of us find out along the road that sometimes less is more.

Gabi... you are right...today a woman who is strong and ascertive... is looked at as a good thing they don't have to act that way [girly] because even if they get that second glance...the outcome is...oh its a woman ...30 or 40 yrs ago it was not that way...women did have that affectation palms out, a hip sway. a giggle....other wise that second glance would be filled with nasty comments....yes you don't always see that today...there is a difference between being female and being feminine i guess,,, one does not have to be with the other.

unless you are a guy....who feels like a girl. You better get your moves right....

i know we all have seen the crossdresser/ transvestite that act way above and beyond what a true female acts like,

Danielle, i can't say that the Cders ive met are that over the top...MAny of the transvestite or drag queens are a bit showey... but that is part of their genre. there are very few women that i have seen that walk with their shoulders and with their palms in like guys,,, unless....they are portraying a masculine feel... be it butch or Fto M TS...they are trying hard to show their masculinity. Many girls wear t shirts jeans and guy cut boots...and maybe they don't cross their legs so sweetly... but i don't often see a manly swagger.

i think it works both ways.

i prefer a little hip sway....and palms out...oh...also. cross the legs in a ladylike fashion it's just me!

[Andy66]

Heehee! I do see it sometimes. The biggest thing that bothers me is that strange crouching pose some CDs do in photos, like they're about to sit in a chair. But the chair isn't there (thud!). GGs don't stand like that. Also I've never in my life heard a GG scream OMG! PANTIES!!!

But I also believe in giving credit where credit is due. Almost everyone here does an amazing job with makeup, and they are trying very hard to learn the other stuff. And they are some of the nicest people I could ever hope to meet.

[Karen Francis]

It is called acting. Very highly paid profession for a few people. A lot of us crossdressers(as opposed to someone who is transitioning) go back and forth between the genders. But since we spent a lot of time in society when we were younger being indoctrinated about what a male should act like, we have to undo all that learning and relearn how to be female.
Also, everyone of us has a different idea of what is "female". And that individual interpretation varies widely, frequently getting towards the fetish end of things.
Then all of us have to decide how we are going to act in public, what we think is "appropriate". That is where CD's get picked off more often that not. We "overthink" the entire thing. When you go out dressed as a male, do you stop to coodinate any clothing detail ( does this shirt go with these jeans, and how about the shoes...)? No, first t-shirt/sweatshirt that is clean on the pile, pair of jeans no too dirty, sneakers and down to the Home Depot/Walmart/CVS. Average women think exactly the same way...

[Chari]

IMO, it is not what or how we wear clothing, makeup, or our body movements, it is always being comfortable and confident in who we are at that moment!

[gabimartini]

Gabi... you are right...today a woman who is strong and ascertive... is looked at as a good thing they don't have to act that way [girly] because even if they get that second glance...the outcome is...oh its a woman ...30 or 40 yrs ago it was not that way...women did have that affectation palms out, a hip sway. a giggle....other wise that second glance would be filled with nasty comments....yes you don't always see that today...there is a difference between being female and being feminine i guess,,, one does not have to be with the other.

Good point, Niki! Same way men who cooked or did housework 30 or 40 years ago would be frowned on, like, "what's wrong with HIM"?

And I agree with you that being female and being feminine are two different things. Since we are not female, we have to strive to be feminine. Just got to do it in the right measure! Like any feminine GG would. Keyword here, to me, is blending in with the female crowd, rather than standing out like a drag queen (whose job, btw, is to stand out in the first place!)

[unclejoann]

After listening to the "men" in my office the other day talking about sports, guns, gays, and "some guy in a pink dress." I went straight home and put on a pink dress and swished in exactly the way you find so offensive.

I accept me, I don't care if you do.

[sherri]

I often see gay guys at the clubs and stuff who are way swishier than I am, and I suspect that some of them wonder why I'm not more over the top than I am. I guess my vocabulary and mannerisms are a little more fem when I'm dressed, but not really anything that doesn't come naturally. I just try to relax and be down to earth and real, and it's been interesting to see the subtle femininity emerge from a lifetime of suppression. Nowadays it actually takes more effort to be careful when I'm in guy mode not to be too obvious.

The biggest thing that bothers me is that strange crouching pose some CDs do in photos, like they're about to sit in a chair. But the chair isn't there (thud!). GGs don't stand like that.

You too?! Lol. I never have understood that pose. But hey, I'm terrible at posing so who am I to judge. To each her own.