Parents Reactions

[VeronicaV]

Hey Girls, I'm not sure If this has been posed on another thread already, but what have your experiences been when you revealed your CDing ways, if you have already, to your parents or immediate family members?

The reason I ask is because I currently live with my mom, who's recently acknowledged my interest in dressing, but is still not fully wild about the concept. She is supportive in so many ways, but this may take some time. Hence, my reluctance to let it all hang out so to speak. Meanwhile, my girl is becoming impatient and wants to come out! So, either I can keep it discreet for a year, or take a couple plunges and brave her expressions. Thoughts?

-VV

[kimdl93]

I don't think your mom necessarily needs to be "fully wild" about your interest in cross dressing. It is encouraging that she's acknowledged and in many ways supportive. Have you sat down and had a serious conversation about your interest in dressing? No need to shock and awe, just find out if she'd be ok with you dressing at home...maybe ask for help in picking clothes, doing make up, anything to engage her in a positive way.

[msniki48]

Veronica,

I don't know how old you are...or your mom??? It seems that this upcoming generation is much more sympathetic toward gender issues than my generation or that of my mom who is 80...im 58

when i attend support meetings i am seeing younger girls coming even some with notes from parents. we have also had moms of young TG children speak at our meetings.

"If you have the woman within "as you say, then she needs to know and understand...there are many Transgender sites with support material that you can download. If you are looking at Cross dressing as a stimulant or hobby, i am sure your mom would take a different approach.

It was hard for me to tell my mom...she read alot of material...but she could not get past....what did i do wrong and what will people say...still today she will not speak of it...she just looks down if i say something about a meeting or a pretty dress or my therapist said.....blah blah .

Be honest with your mom... she will come to know there is some much more depth to your personality, than she ever realized if you can just let her [you] out naturally.

good luck

[DonnaT]

Hey Girls, I'm not sure If this has been posed on another thread already, but what have your experiences been when you revealed your CDing ways, if you have already, to your parents or immediate family members?

My mom has been great with it. She has given me jewelry and clothes she would have passed on to a daughter in law instead.

[Nicole Erin]

Mom is indifferent.
Dad would rather I didn't but is not being a shit or anything

[sherri52]

My mom would rather not know, but she did and helped to keep it from my dad. He knows now and doesn't approve. My mom is gone and my dad is still around. Neither of them has seen Sherri. I'm the oldest of 8, six have seen and the other two know. No one is accepting but I'm still loved by all as thier brother.

[Bunny Girl Zoe]

Know where your coming from but mine don't know and my female side is getting stronger. But a lease yours knows just talk to her about it all and how you feel.

[VeronicaV]

Thanks girls, your thoughts have given me some perspective on the matter. BTW, I'm 26. ;-)

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Both of my parents know, my father has been very supportive of it, my mom is a little more conservative about stuff and it bothers her a bit, as evidenced by the fact that she's never spoken a word about it to my father, and she's not someone who holds her tongue very often. But my dad and I even had a conversation about it this afternoon. Mostly about the material I've been doing on it in my comedy act.

[Jodi]

Ten years ago, I came out to my two brothers. My younger brother smiled and said, "great, now it gives me more ideas for Christmas gifts". My older brother, who is very conservative, stated, "Oh is that all. You could have said you are an ax murderer."

The bottom line was--so what.

Jodi

[Kierci]

The one question I didnt see asked, whose house is it? If its yours I dont see a problem with slowly coming out IE wearing hose uunder slacks with no socks then progress. Now if its her house I'd ask her how far she is comfortable with seeing your dressed. This way you are able to come out some and she isnt uncomfortable with your coiming out. Then periodically ask her if she minds you progressing a little further. Good Luck Hun!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kierci]

Wow nobody else has any parental respoonses? I'm impressed.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Wow nobody else has any parental respoonses? I'm impressed.

People do, it's just been discussed a lot. It's also possible that the thread didn't get much responses because people just didn't see it at the time. Sometimes threads do get pushed off the first page quickly if a lot of new ones start.

Speaking on the original topic though, I currently live at my parents house because I'm saving money to move to LA in a month or so. Because, as I said earlier in this thread, my mom isn't supportive of it at all, I tend to not wear skirts at home, and if she's home and I'm going out somewhere in one, I'll often change after leaving, not out of shame, but out of a desire to not shove it in her face, and also to avoid the hassle of it. But Sunday night I was wearing my new black kilt with grey tights and engineer boots and I thought she was upstairs in her room watching the Olympics, so I stepped out of my room ready to go out, stepped onto the stairs and there she was, having just come around the corner into the kitchen. She didn't say anything to me about it, but my dad said when I left the only thing she said to him was, "I really hope this is just a phase."

I'm 28 years old and I have memories of wearing or wanting to wear stuff as early as 3 or 4 years old. That would be one heck of a long phase!

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

It's also possible that the thread didn't get much responses because people just didn't see it at the time.

Bingo.

I told my mother over a decade ago, at which point she informed me that she had guessed back when I was in my teens, which was a decade earlier...

I wasn't present when my mother told my father, after my sister decided to email all members of my family to let them know. Apparently his response was a very neutral "That'd be right." He's never said a word to me about it.

[TG-Taru]

Mom knows, is ok with it. Thinking about telling the others. Don't foresee major problems, and it could be worth it to get to be me more freely.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

My mom knows, she accepted it. We do not really talk about it much at all. I've come to realize I am her son, and that's what she prefers to see and refer to me as. Not as her daughter and definitely never as Jocelyn.

So I accept that as the way things are and life goes on. My father does not know, and for now I feel it's best I do not add any more stress in his life by telling him his son actually wants to be a woman.

[Kierci]

Wow gotten more responses in one day then the whole thread got before. Funny how that happens. I'm interested to hear more.

[KandisTX]

My mother has known since I was 16 years old and has always been supportive of my dressing, even giving me permission to wear her things as long as I laundered them before returning them. My father on the other hand is of the "If I don't speak of it, it doesn't exist" mindset. My sisters both know and while the one who is the middle child used to be supportive and contributed to my wardrobe when we were growing does not speak of it these days, the younger one is cool with it, as is her husband, and my nephew (11 YO) who was recently told about it when I was there for the weekend at the end of January.

Kandis

[StevieTV]

Bingo.

I told my mother over a decade ago, at which point she informed me that she had guessed back when I was in my teens, which was a decade earlier...

Ditto for me as well. My mother knew. Hard to hide it when she was the one doing my laundry.

[kimdl93]

I told my sister long ago - it worked out fine. She was very discrete about it, and let me continue to wear her nylons and panties.

[Maria Heels]

My father and both stepmothers know about my dressing, including my three sisters...but its been years since they first found out, and no one has mentioned it for many years now...I think that I would be ok with anyone of them asking me now about my dressing...

[Danielle76]

Your gf knows, I think that's the most important thing. I don't know, I don't really get why some people feel the need to tell family members, but that's just me. If you feel you must tell your mom, then screw it. Do it and be done with it, I say.

[Imogen_Mann]

If it was me in that situation... I'd let it... and her out as soon as possible, get the shock out of the way and then really live.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Your gf knows, I think that's the most important thing. I don't know, I don't really get why some people feel the need to tell family members, but that's just me.

It depends on why they dress and how out they want to be. If it's mostly for sexual reasons or a very private thing for them in general with no interest in going out, then there's not as much reason to tell. But if it's something someone hopes to come to terms with, go out with or what not, and aren't ashamed of it, they may want to share it with those they love as a part of who they are. I know in my case I was coming out about it, I was about to start talking about it in my stand up comedy and I was writing an article about it, it just felt like the right thing to do was tell my parents before I told strangers.