Who am I?

[makin' it real]

I had a class tonight that inspired me, and thought I'd share some musings with you. I (we?) often get caught up in defining myself as my body. Is this part growing enough, has that part grown too much, and “Why the heck is that growing there?!?!” Should I lose weight, what should I eat, what should I wear? But then I remember I am not my body. I have a body. That’s when the existential confusion comes in.

I have sensations, but I am not my sensations.
I have thoughts, but I am not my thoughts.
I have emotions, but I am not my emotions.
Who am I?

(If anyone has the answer to this, could they please call BR-459 and let me know? I seem to be having an identity crisis!)

Who is this I who is having all these experiences? And what is the role of my body? If, as I suspect, the observing “I” is some truer part of myself, does identifying with issues of my body (like, oh, say, what sex do I want to express right now? Just as a fer instance) get in the way of me experiencing more clearly that truer part of myself?

More clearly, does devoting so much attention to my body, let alone the clothes that adorn it, take me away from the Divine, as some traditional Christian teachings suggest? Or can it lead me into deeper connection with my true self, and then by extension into greater connection with the Divine as numerous other spiritual traditions suggest. I started out this life being indoctrinated in the Methodist Church, gave it up, then studied a couple years to possibly enter the priesthood, but have expanded my vision of the possible a bit since then.

I experience a tension between immersing myself in the sensual, and recognizing the illusory nature of the physical world. Even with that, I found inspiration tonight in the line from Mary Oliver that goes, “You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” I suspect our bodies contain wisdom our minds know not of, (Hey, I kinda like that!) and that if we listen to the wisdom of our bodies, we might enter into communication with the greater Wisdom behind all life.

But that’s just my thoughts. What do you think? What are your experiences?

Makin’ it real

p.s. I just read Suzanne's post titled "My jeans were too tight...," and she seems to be saying something similar! Yippee! Our bodies may know better than us why we do what we do!

(Wandering down hall, muttering to self: "Trust your body, trust your body, trust your body...")

__________________________________________________ ___________

Here’s the full poem from Mary Oliver. I think it’s lovely, and thought you might enjoy it too.

“Wild Geese”

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.

Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

are moving across the landscapes,

over the prairies and the deep trees,

the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,

are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --

over and over announcing your place

in the family of things.

[Jonianne]

......But then I remember I am not my body. I have a body. That’s when the existential confusion comes in.

I have sensations, but I am not my sensations.
I have thoughts, but I am not my thoughts.
I have emotions, but I am not my emotions.

Who am I?

(If anyone has the answer to this, could they please call BR-459 and let me know? I seem to be having an identity crisis!)......

After reading the book "Celebrate Yourself" by Dorothy Corkill Briggs several times (the begining of the book has the same primise) I finally found the perfect answer that works for me.

I AM.........................LOVED!

That occurred to me when I was watching a show about a woman who overcame great obsticles and eventually had great success. Sometimes the only thing that kept her going was the love of her family and friends. I was amazed and wondered how did she make it through that struggle? Then I realized how she did it - she knew down deep she was loved, yes, by her family, but mostly by herself!

She truly loved herself - that's how she made it! If she didn't love herself, there would have been no way.

Who am I?

I am not my name,
I am not my occupation,
I am not my body.
I am not my feelings, but they are closer to who I am than any thing else.

Who am I?

I AM LOVED.

......Who is this I who is having all these experiences? And what is the role of my body?.......“You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” I suspect our bodies contain wisdom our minds know not of, (Hey, I kinda like that!) and that if we listen to the wisdom of our bodies, we might enter into communication with the greater Wisdom behind all life.......

We experience this life through the instrument of our bodies, so yes, I believe we should listen to it and have a lot of trust in it. Sometimes the way I put it is:
"If left alone, we will tend to gravitate to where we get our needs met."

From reading your post, you seem to enjoy waxing eloquent, so when you get your 10 posts, add some of your thoughts to the poetry section and sign up for the religious discussion group. All are welcome, no matter what faith or not.

[Shari]

Methinks you think too much.

Stop the over analysis.

You'll never figure it out.

[melissacd]

I like your writing style and I like that you are introspective. Not enough spend the time to ponder these things. I agree though that we can get too caught up in analysis as well.

I can only speak for myself. Who I am is the sum of all of my existence on this planet. The question I am working on now is who do I want to be. Most importantly, I want to love and accept myself. I want to get better at appreciating the things that I have in my life. I want to be willing to forgive myself for the errors of my ways and accept my humanity. I want to really embrace and understand that everyone else is just like me and essentially wants the same things - love, peace, happiness, respect, accomplishment, valued, of service to others. I want to learn how to be in the moment and trust that things will work out. I want to be able to let go when it is time to let go and not obsess over what could have or might have been. I want to accept the transience of all that is around me so that I can better appreciate the here and now.

By living in this way and moving in this direction I get to a place where I do not question my dressing or my feminine ways, I just accept that they are and enjoy them.

Melissa

[Karren H]

Hell I don't know... My body has always been a disappointment to me.. The bulges are in all the wrong places... When out on the ice.... my brain tells it to do something I could easily do when I was younger.... And it fails to respond... If I had known what I know now I would have taken better care of it... I'd seruously opt for an upgrade.... Warren 1.0 to Karren 2.2?? But its a bit too late for that...

[kimdl93]

this is all incredibly heavy, dudette!

[makin' it real]

Hi all, and thanks for the invitations Joni. Yes, I would love to join in. Heck, I didn't even know they existed. I'm excited about it.

Love those insights Joni. Someone else last night mentioned a poem she claimed written by Hildegard von Bingen. I've not been able to find it online, so the attribution may be wrong, but the sentiment matches what you wrote.

. I, God, am among you.
. She who knows Me shall not fall.
. Not from the heights,
. Not from the depths,
. Because I am love.

Oh how I long to immerse my body in love.

Thanks.