Is she trying to take over

[trisha254]

HI;
I like to ask a question,Number #1 I have been seeing a lovely lady for a few months, I explained my life style on our secornd date , she was ok at that time and also very helpfull in alot of ways, one was she and I just love to kid around , But here my problem my Trisha has been taking over and more and this is where I feel I will be losing this lovely person who has been so wonderful to me, We have talk about this a little she explained to me she also want a male at those times? without the dress?, So can anyone of you lovely LADIES give a little womanly advice to try a make a nice compromise as I would not want to lose a girl like she.


Love Trish

[Loni]

tough question, tough answer.

is she wanting a girl on girl friendship? the only non gay is maybe sex? pending how you are set up? (unknow to me).

did she sign on with the knolage of you "only" dressing, and she would have a boy friend?

please do not be ofended how I say this, just look at it from her point of view.

if she signed on knowing you would be only dressed, then she is trying to chang you into her view.

if she signed on knowing you would be dressed part time, is there a problem with giving her a boy friend?

as number 5 said, "need input".

[ReineD]

Trisha, you need to know what your priorities are and be true to yourself. If you begin at this stage in your relationship to "make" yourself be in guy mode for your girlfriend just to hang on to her, your relationship will suffer in the long run. If you believe you cannot comfortably be in guy mode on a regular basis with her, but this is what she needs in a relationship, then IMO it is best to move on before you both become deeply attached.

This will free you both up to find partners who are more compatible.

[Nicole Brown]

Hi Trisha,

This is not an easy question to answer, and I should know as I am living with the results of just about the same situation right now. First, and most importantly, be honest and true to yourself. By this I mean you have to understand who you are and what you want from life. Only when you achieve this can you make a decision on your future life.

If what you say about Trisha taking over is true, you will need a very special woman to share your life with. From my own experience, you will only find your fem self taking control more and more. Make sure that your lady friend fully and completely understands these facts and can live with them. Just remember, it takes two happy people to make one happy relationship.

Be totally honest with her and with yourself about the direction you seem to be moving in. You may be well advised to seek the guidance and assistance of an analyst or therapist to help the two of you make the right choice. Ultimately, the path you each decide to follow may not be exactly what you are hopping for now, but do your best to decide what is right for each of you and what will provide each of you with a happy life. Good luck...

[kimdl93]

Same advice as ReineD & Nicole - I think you first need to look deep into yourself in understanding your desire to be Trisha.

[TG_Nicole]

Trisha

I hope you the best in this situation. I agree with Reine it may be best to find out what you are really comfortable doing. Myself i am married with a kid so when it comes to these things i am rather willing to make compromises. So what i do is whenever we have a baby sitter Nicole comes out. Unless my wife asks me for some male time ahead of time. I will be honest though i do get disappointed and a little down when she asks for it. But for all she has done for me its a compromise I'm willing to make. But you have the advantage that its a newer relationship. You really shouldn't feel like you have to make compromises like i do. So i think the best thing is to ask yourself how comfortable you really are as a guy and tell her.

Lots of luck to you girl.

[Sheren Kelly]

Trisha,
I forsee the same issues in my relationship. I have been open about the fact that I am a CD, but as our relationship grows and she makes more demands of my male side, I find myself compensating with a stronger desire to be feminine. I just can't seem to find the middle ground. In many ways we are very compatable, but I have been holding my femme side back because though she knows about it, she would rather not have my femme side as part of the relationship.

The advise to be truthful is always good. Deceit will never result in anything good in a relationship. The other advise to speak with a counselor, bopth individually and as a couple is also good. Wish you well.

[Midnight Skye]

Reine's advice is spot on. You really need to be true to yourself. The last thing you want is to have a wonderful relationship you can't move forward with because it demands something you're not.

I'm in this situation with my wife. I came out as TG after marriage and my need to present female all the time contrasts drastically with my wife needing a man sometimes. How do you balance something like that? I'll tell you one thing, its not fun and results in messy emotional drama which drives you both insane. You end up in the situation of choosing between your happiness or hers. And in many ways how can she be happy if you're in pain?

I think she sounds lovely and open, but you need to figure out what you need and if she's ok with those expectations.

[Rachel Morley]

I agree with Renie and the others. You have to be really open and honest with each other about what your CDing means to you both and just how much it will be a part of your relationship, because it does sound like it will be part of it as you seem to need this in your life more than just occasionally ... and so it's kinda "love me, love my crossdressing". Am I making any sense?

[bron]

My previous partner helped me be the girl i wanted to be....that was in the beginning but after about 3 years she got tired of the feminine side of me and left me for a straight guy. My present partner knows i am cd. We get on fine as long as i never, never appear in front of her dressed. That suits me as we don't live together. So when i see her, i play the macho guy which she expects and when i get home to my place i slip into fem mode very quickly. So both sides of my life seems to work but my fem side is pushing very hard to be noticed.