A desire to Semi-transition??

[KimberlyJo]

I've seen this time and again and even felt some of it myself. I recently read some literature which kind of put this into perspective for me but I have to ask.

There seems to be a subset of cders who desire to take hormones to develop more feminine physical characteristics but who don't necessarily consider themselves to have been born into the wrong body. What I mean is, the posts that read "I've been thinking about transitioning and I think I want to do it." or "If I had my way I would transition but I'm not going to because of A, B, C...".

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with this point of view, I consider myself dual-gendered and if my body more readily showed that I would happily accept it, but at the same time taking hormones or getting surgeries is a BIG deal and I don't think the notion should be thrown around even remotely casually.

I'm not trying to offend anyone or start a fiery debate or point fingers or anything, so please don't take this the wrong way. I am just curious how others feel about someone who doesn't feel that the ONLY way they can live is to transition and live full time as a woman taking hormones and using other body/ mind altering procedures to adopt a more feminine appearance. Mind you I'm not talking about shaving, or voice or pierced ears etc. but more the things that fall securely into the perceived realm of transsexuals.

Is this just a matter of not understanding what transitioning is really all about or maybe just a desire to have the cake and eat it to? Is it a cop out, or some kind of fantasy that just plain shouldn't be played out in reality? Science is allowing our bodies to be able to be modified to match what we feel inside, is there a line that is drawn, or should be drawn or is it all fair game?

(and yeah, I'm starting counseling next week cause I might be starting to really lose my grip on reality, lol)

[Misty is Kindafem]

Great topic KJ,

I may arouse the ire of some of the more activist gals but I've been thinking about this myself for a few months.

My circumstances do not allow me to come out completely. I am single with no kids so that's a blessing but my job/career is a real issue. I make pretty good money, even for this area and transitioning would definitely impact my earning potential. At my age, (39 thank you) I'm simply unwilling to give up everything I've worked for.

However I have been seriously considering talking to a doctor about possible hormone therapy that would give me some level of feminization.

Now, before the HRT Patrol jumps in and tries to save me from myself, I realize that there is no "magic pill" and that there will be "consequences" and yadda yadda but I would be satisfied with something that simply curbs testosterone if that's all I could get.

I'm out to most of my non-work related life so I could handle quite a bit of feminization and still be undercover at work. After all, I only work 40 hours a week, so why should I base my personal life around the company dress code?

-Misty

[Kaitlyn Michele]

when i was 39 i was thinking the same thing as you

[Jason+]

KimberlyJo,

My understanding of the transition process is that the time lengths you have to live as a woman to be an SRS candidate, the counseling/therapy requred and the "consequences" of HRT were all designed to weed out those who may have had more of a fantasy in mind than a real need to undergo transition.

I agree with you it's not a casual decision to be entered into lightly and you probably are on track with some people not really understanding how involved it is.

When I first started researching transvestism it was always attached with transsexualism and I initially wondered if that should have been my path. I figured out quickly enough that I was born as I should have been and that even a partial transition (IE my own breasts) wasn't something I truly wanted hormone and marriage consequences aside.

[Kelly DeWinter]

This making me wonder .... What characteristics would someone look to develop and how would you achieve them ?

[sherri52]

In todays society we have the ability to change almost anything. Our bodies are no exception. If a person feels the need to take hormones or completely change gender, I say let them.

[CharleneT]

Great topic KJ,

I may arouse the ire of some of the more activist gals but I've been thinking about this myself for a few months.
. . .

Now, before the HRT Patrol jumps in and tries to save me from myself, I realize that there is no "magic pill" and that there will be "consequences" and yadda yadda but I would be satisfied with something that simply curbs testosterone if that's all I could get.
. . .

-Misty

Hey Misty,

Promise: no HRT Police or even a Citizen's arrest

The problem with this idea is that HRT is fairly hard to do "part time" or "just a bit". Your body needs sex hormones for its good function. In fact a significant dominance of one or the other ( T or E ). If you try just a low dose of E, let's say, eventually it will knock out the production of T. Then femininzation will continue at a rate that is likely more than you expected. Or you could end up having too low of a level of either hormone, and develop a variety of problems.

Another issue is that to a great degree, after about 6 months or so, the changes start to become permanent. There is no way to know when you have reached that tipping point. You might suggest then to stop and start to avoid that point ... you'll find this can be very hard on your body.

When the TS crowd seems to be jumping on people who are considering HRT for "just some small changes", it isn't because we have our own standards for who "ought to transition...", but rather that we have researched and learned about HRT and realize the pit falls of those drugs. To be frank, HRT is rather dangerous and most of us would prefer not to take those risks. But we have to do so. From our perspective, it is good to discourage any one who desires small changes to get themselves in trouble over trying to get that little bit of feminization and having the process go too far, or awry.

I know we sound like a broken record, because we repeat this too often, but it is true: HRT is a one way street and really it is a all or none proposition. We aren't trying to be the Brain Police - nor do we want to. We do want to save you from making a decision you may greatly regret.

[Sophie_C]

Look, by principle, I believe people should have the right to do whatever they want to their bodies and with their lives, so long as it harms no one else. If you're most comfortable with a truly androgynous body shape / form, do it. Society will eventually be ok with it, it's just going to take another 20-50 years...

[DiannaRose]

I agree that we should be able to make our own choices, and that the medical and psychological sciences are at a place now where we really aren't held back by much. I also believe in the value of counseling, because sometimes we just don't know our own minds well enough to make some decisions properly.

If I lived in a world where I wasn't married or otherwise had the freedom--and the finances--to change my appearance to match my (usual) feelings of gender-identity, I would. But for me, in this world, it really is only fantasy. That said, I'd be happy enough just being to present occasionally as female.

[Jennifer in CO]

This was similar to the mind-set I/we (wife and I) had when we went looking for hormones back in 79. I was a 6 foot tall 150 pound 30 inch stick. I spent 99% of my away from work hours dressed as a woman. My wife was not against me being more feminine looking (permanently). If I had been able to stop when I/we wanted to during the med/drug study, I was real happy with an A cup breasts (ended up with C's). All I/we wanted was for me to get some definition and shape to my frame.
I personally see no reason a person can't make these kinds of changes to ones own body. You can go get yourself tattooed green and purple all over, you can get holes and things stuck in holes all over, under and in your body, but there seems to be an over-eager fear that growing or getting breasts is going to bad for the male mind. And I guess you can make these changes, you just have half a dozen doctors you have to convince your not crazy for wanting to look a little (or a lot) female. In a similar vain, I know someone who had an accident about 5 years ago in which most of his genitals were destroyed by a piece of farm equipment. The docs were going to just cut everything off and leave him sex-less. It took him and his wife 2 days to convince 3 doctors that he was better off with a vagina than with nothing. They saw nothing wrong with him being sex-less but everything wrong with him having a vagina - a chance at SOME sex with his wife in the future. The docs finally gave in and now when you see him if you didn't know you'd never know what wasn't below his belt. I'm pretty sure he wasn't a cross-dresser beforehand (but you never know - he had a full beard so he didn't go out much if he did!) and I do know that he wears panties now (his wife told my wife). Imagine that - having a vagina and living as a man...NO ONE does that...right?

Jenn

[KimberlyJo]

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and tactful response Charlene, I know I for one truly appreciate it. I was very nervous posting this as I wasn't sure how it would come across. I know there's still time for my intentions to go south, lol.

From our perspective, it is good to discourage any one who desires small changes to get themselves in trouble over trying to get that little bit of feminization and having the process go too far, or awry.

Not only that, but it's my understanding that there are also mental (chemical changes in the brain) that take place due to HRT that some may not be fully aware of (myself included).

[Alice B]

In an ideal world having breasts would be great. But, this is not an ideal world and having real breasts would cause me a lot of problems.

[Sandra]

Not only that, but it's my understanding that there are also mental (chemical changes in the brain) that take place due to HRT that some may not be fully aware of (myself included).

I was just going to say this

It does come across at times when people ask about hormones they seem to think that all it does is grow breast, they either don't know or don't want to think about the other changes that they do.

[Faith_G]

A couple of very important questions: Are you a man who wants some female body characteristics, or are you a woman with a few "minor birth defects"? If it's the latter, then there is no question in my mind that HRT would be appropriate even if your life circumstances prevented you from fully transitioning. There are a couple of women in my therapy group who are in just such a situation, and HRT significantly improved their mental state.

Next question - and there is no wrong answer: Honestly, is it about sex for you? If it is, hormones are going to ruin that for you. There are mental and emotional changes, as well as impaired sexual function. You'd be much happier with implants and a bunch of laser or electrolysis. Mr. Happy keeps working and you get pretty much the body you were after, with no worries about blood clots and liver damage.

[Barbara Dugan]

semi-transition a dream for many, even myself I have thoughts about it. I think Charlene is right you definitely need sex hormones to function properly , on my personal case I was on low testosterone for a very long time maybe all my life that gave me medical issues that I need to deal with now. I am on Testosterone HRT and now I clearly understand why people like Charlene say hormones are something you can't take lightly they affect you mind and body on many ways.
I never feel this better on my life and I know is the T but on the other hand I think my desire to be girl is increasing and the T is making me more fearless at the same time... I think I need counseling too

[LisaM]

I am aware of a few highly respected therapists who believe that hormonal therapy for non-transitioning MTFs is ok and desirable. They believe the physical and mental benefits outweigh any negative results.

It is certainly very dependent on the individual but it is not unheard of either. Anyone who is considering this should be under the care of both a therapist and a physician.

[Evangeline]

In an ideal world having breasts would be great. But, this is not an ideal world and having real breasts would cause me a lot of problems.

I'm of the same opinion, i would get nothing done, in all day playing them.

[NathalieX66]

Semi-transition definition: becoming more feminine in physical appearance without giving up the male bits, or any of the radical surgery, face-wise.
With modern medicine, it can be done. .....body& facial hair removal, then hormone replacement therapy, and you can call it a day.
This area used to confuse me because it didn't quite fit within the realm of gender dysphoria, but more about gender preference. Some do it.
I like the sound of this....only problem is I like being the scruffy guy that likes doing manly things more.

[CharleneT]

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and tactful response Charlene, I know I for one truly appreciate it. I was very nervous posting this as I wasn't sure how it would come across. I know there's still time for my intentions to go south, lol.

Not only that, but it's my understanding that there are also mental (chemical changes in the brain) that take place due to HRT that some may not be fully aware of (myself included).

You are very welcome ! As for the mental changes from HRT, they happen much more quickly than the physical (they are noticeable within a few days). As well, they are quite extensive. For me, and others, it is like a breath of fresh air. That's not how it works out for all though.

I'm of the same opinion, i would get nothing done, in all day playing them.

Well ... sorta ... truth is that the novelty wears off pretty quick and they are just breasts. Plus, it takes quite a while to get enough to play with (YMMV) .... and they hurt like the dickens for hmmm... months. Especially the nipples.

[msniki48]

Kimberly, there are many of us in the same boat as you. the term for this is trangederist.

transgenderists (those who cross gender boundaries), or ambigenderists (those who combine them) who live permanently in the opposite gender role, or androgynously (like myself) and who may either take or not take sex hormones as an aid to developing the desirable qualities of the opposite sex, but do not desire sex-change surgery. In all cases, these can be either male to female, or female to male individuals

I have often thought that due to my age..fear of job loss, marrying off my daughter, keeping my house, what ever...i would love to grow to be an old lady with my wife and do what little old ladies do...so maybe i don't need a vagina to do this, and maybe the hormones would rid me of the venom i feel when my testosterone kicks in....So the answer is yes there are many who feel as you do. it's just WHERE in the continuum you finally find balance i guess...or at least i hope.

good luck in your journey