All or nothing syndrome

[jo_ann]

I'm sure this has been discussed before (though maybe not in this sense). I think that a lot of us have this vision, or idealistic persona of femininity. Because of those blinders, I think that many of us decide that if we crossdress, it's going to be to the nines. Now while this feels nice, it's a lot of work, and I think a lot of us just give up on even trying unless we know we have a lot of free time (I almost never crossdress during the week). I think this leads to some doubts and confusion, I.E. "Am I really a crossdresser? If that's the case, why don't I dress more?"

So while looking for something in our bedroom, I noticed my 3/4" ponytail clip-on wig sitting on top of my earring box. I decided to give myself a quick face shave, put my hair up in a ponytail, and pop on my earrings. No dress, no nylons, no makeup, no heels, just a subtle femme face with a t-shirt and pajama pants. I have to admit, it doesn't feel so bad, I might have to embrace this and do it more often.

Anyone else feel this block, or have overcome this and do exactly what I'm talking about?

[Wen4cd]

I only dress when I can really dress. I go through 2+ hours of makeup before the first stitch of clothing touches my body.

That's just how I roll. I have nothing to motivate me to do anything different. After all the makeup time, realistically, putting on clothes takes about five mintes.

When I can't do it, and I want a talisman if it, I keep one with me. A photo in the wallet, the wallet itself, which is pretty, a single fingerless glove while working around the house, a reminder of higher things. It's enough.

[weekend woman]

Some times I do the same thing. After a shower and shave I'll just slip into a nightgown and robe, my fuzzy pink slippers and a long wig, curl up in front of this damn computer and log on here. Almost as good as completely dressing up and going out. It also has it's advantages, I don't spend any money here.

[Ruth]

Well, we all do what makes us comfortable. When I CD, it's off with the male, on with the female, so all male clothes come off, and everything I have on is femme. But that doesn't mean I'm dressed to the nines. When I'm just dressing around the house, doing my face takes about 5 minutes, putting on a wig and brushing it out about 2 minutes. I pull on a bra and pants, stretchy top and skirt, panty hose, and I'm done.
I just look decent, but I wouldn't bet I was passable.
But then what's the point, as I said at the start it's about comfort not glamour.

[tricia_uktv]

Tricky one, but as I get more experienced I get where your coming from. The important thing for me is that I feel feminine. It doesn't really matter that I'm hugely dressed or made-up. I just need to portray the person inside. It needs a shave though!

[lavistaa62]

I had asked about this a while ago and was surprised at the number of "half-dressers". Myself I often wear just forms, female pants and top- no makeup etc. It's great for around the house esp when there are chores to do.

[PattiMichaels]

I'm definitely guilty of all or nothing syndrome! I would plan my entire week around the one nnight I was going out. Tanning, working out, getting my eyebrows waxed, matching my manicure & pedicure, etc.

[sherri52]

I dress every night but almost never to the nines unless I go out. At this moment I'm wearing a short skirt, pink top, forms annd bra, pink nail polish, lipstick, and mascara. I have long hair so I dont need a wig, and I don't want to take the time for makeup when I'm only going to sit here watching tv. I am wearing jewelry.

[Barbara Dugan]

I've been doing the same thing more often usually before bed.. a quick shave my earrings and wig.I have to admit I am kind of nudist when alone at home and those things are more than enough to make happy

[Karren H]

Maybe last year I would have said that it was all or nothing but a few days ago I fully dressed without makeup or hair and it was not bad.... and what ever makes you happy... est...ish.... I still perfer full out but if all you can see is nothing for the foreseeable future....

[NathalieX66]

Hi Jo_Ann,
This is actually a good thread.
I think I mentioned the dreaded "all-or-nothing" in some post regarding underdressing. I used to underdress a long while back because I felt it kept me anchored in my femme self while I am in my guy clothes. Now it doesn't mean much to me anymore because I've become busy with so many other things. I really don't need to think about wearing panties every day while at work or amongst my friends. My legs are already shaven and my toes have nail polish, and my ears are pierced, and I hardly ever think about it. it just goes with the territory of being a crossdresser. I spend too much time trying to coordinate the right outfits and deciding what I want to buy next.

Plus, I see women dress so plainly and causally (jeans, t-shirt, sweater or hoodie) these days, which they're really not dressing up either....so that puts them and me in the same boat.

[PretzelGirl]

I don't really change as a person when I dress, so an all-or-nothing is not necessary. I have always dressed often sans make-up and hair style. Sometimes, I don't have a lot of time and may just partially dress. It all depends on mood and if I have the time to go "all the way".

[Marcia Blue]

[SIZE="3"]I prefer to fully dress to the nines but, because of time restrants, this does not happen very often. I do on ocassion dress very casually, feminine jeans, top, forums, and at least a light shade of lipstick. I often sleep in a gown or girly jammies. This lazy dressing at least keeps me from being wound up to tight and I sleep much better[/SIZE].

[DaisyG]

I had asked about this a while ago and was surprised at the number of "half-dressers". Myself I often wear just forms, female pants and top- no makeup etc. It's great for around the house esp when there are chores to do.

Much the same for me. Add the option of a skirt or a simple housedress for doing the chores.

When I come home in drab, I just need to get back into girl mode and let myself once again feel feminine; no need to be fancy.

Contrast that with Saturday evening and Sunday when I feel the need to be a bit more dressy.

Daisy

[AllieSF]

Right now I am in the all or nothing mode. However, that is due to logistics (i.e. available me time) than to my attitude toward dressing. I would actually prefer to be able to dress partially more often with little or no makeup. I have done this before and it is a very comfortable and peaceful feeling to be dressed while reading, having a glass of wine, watching TV and just sitting here surfing this site. I do long for those days/evenings again.

[Loni]

time, what is that....

must loose some sleep time to have time during the "work week". but that is one thing i can thank the tele marketers for, they wake me up and i can not go back to sleep. time for loni....


but then like now...time to get to work...off comes the great things loni has...on goes the burlap junk for work.



Time


.

[Danielle76]

I guess I'm all or nothing, too. To me personally, it doesn't feel like I'm fully dressed unless I'm wearing a bustier with garters, thigh highs, and heels. I can go without the dress, but I've gotta be fully dressed in lingerie or it's no use to me.

[mklinden2010]

I agree with Sue:

>>"I don't really change as a person when I dress, so an all-or-nothing is not necessary. I have always dressed often sans make-up and hair style. Sometimes, I don't have a lot of time and may just partially dress. It all depends on mood and if I have the time to go "all the way"."


A "practical" answer, which reminds me that my late wife insisted that I be "authentic" and not do anything a normal, practical, intelligent woman wouldn't do.

Vacuuming in a cocktail dress would be silly, sitting around reading a book at home in office-work clothes would (usually be) too.

There's plenty of time and opportunity for crossdressing if you spend no more time and effort doing so than a GG would doing the same things.

Her insistence (and my listening), by the way, has led to some interesting adaptations in all subsequent relationships.

If, for example, a GG would shave "on time" then what else could a CD do but "maintain"? Seriously, this "be normal" policy has led to my announcing, with only an "Uh-huh" in response, "I gotta go shower and shave these legs. See you in twenty."

It has led to my pulling things out of the closet and rearranging outfits on the bed while my SO brushed her teeth and offered garbled opinions on texture, color, and fit.

It has led to my interrupting our dinner to go get something to pull the hair (wig) out of my face so I could fully enjoy the soup.

And, to return to the original post, it has led to my/our setting a date for an event or meeting and then having my SO call me at work to remind me to get home early so I can get properly ready for going out.

Yes... Normal works - in all kinds of ways.

[KimberlyJo]

Tonight is the first night in a long while where I've actually pulled out all the stops and gone full femme with makeup, hair, clothes, shoes, etc... Normally I just wear very casual femme attire and light makeup if I feel like it. I even had to force myself to do it because I was kind of tired and feeling lazy, but I'm glad I did, it was fun and I've been missing it. Once I start going out sometimes, I'll probably limit the full femme to just those nights.

[Tanya C]

Put me in the all or nothing column. I've tried partial dressing but it just doesn't work. I always end up going all the way.

[erickka]

I like to go all the way too, but I usually go without makeup, just as you see a lot of GG's go. Most of the time, jeans, layered shirts, casual heels, you all know the drill. I'm super comfortable with going that far.

[Ruth]

I would love to go without makeup when dressing casually at home, but just one glance in the mirror at that beard shadow... need I say more.

[Nina (uk)]

I am happy to prance around my house in just leggings and a tight vest top or whatever it will be.
Over the years i have worn nail varnish or makeup (a month ago for the 1st time) or whatever but never done it all together. mainly through fear. Saturday was the first time ever in my life i had done it all at the same time and bloody hell, it was liberating to say the least. It was the first time i had ever worn foundation or the whole shebang and got dolled up to the nines. I also didnt realize just how god damn long it takes to get made up to completion, but i enjoyed & relished every minute of it.
So to answer your question for me it is nice to just wear a few token items but it is oh so satisfying to go to the nines.

[Renee_E]

I am as bad as my SO. Some times I don't want to be georgeous just comfortable. I guess I am comfortable enough with myself that I don"t need to fully dress to feel feminine. Sometimes I feel feminine even when I am dressed in drab.

[Nikki A.]

If I'm going out it usually is all out. Although last week I went out with a little make-up, and a bra and undergarments (wanted to do a little dress shopping), ran errands and felt comfortable.
Around the house when alone sometimes just a piece or two is okay.