I am Rejecting Crossdressing

[Starling]

...Crossdressing is a state of action. Transgenderism is a state of being...A string-plucker might seem like an odd thing to be called... But you tell someone that you're a musician...(I crossdress for the joy of the music)...

That's awfully good, Susan. With your permission, I might use it when I come out to my tin-eared friends.

Lallie

[Tonya Stolenski]

Shelia,

I agree how words have pre-conceived notions. Personally I hate the term "She-Male" Recently I have heard a term that is better then either crossdresser or transgendered at describing how I feel about myself..... that is Bi-Gendered.

For me, I enjoy both sides of my personality, and bi-gendered seems to really hit the nail on the head.

Anyway, that is my

i like your term bi gendered. i feel that you going in the right direction as far as trying to make it easy for people to understand but, that's the thing, most people outside of our community do not know the diference in all of those words...transsexual, transgender, trans vestite... most people think their all the same so in a way in trying to clairify you could confuse...

[Starling]

...Transvestite! Even typing it makes my flesh crawl...

Gillian, the French use the term travesti. In French it's pretty benign, but in English it sounds creepy to spare.

Lallie

[Starling]

Jade,

You leave no room for the person who has the physical characteristics of one gender and the brain of another, who is currently unable to transition for reasons of health, expense or family. I correspond with several such people online, and believe me, when they dress to the limits of their circumstances they are not indulging in bedtime fantasies, but rather doing their best to carry on without crumbling under the weight of pretending to be male.

To publicly transition from one gender to another undeniably requires great courage and can entail great pain. But most who transition also gain immeasurably, and many find joy in the symbolism of changing their names on bank accounts, credit cards and government IDs.

There is nothing wrong with dressing purely for fun, and I don't look down on upon people who dress mainly for sexual stimulation. Sex is a good thing. But that there are many "crossdressers" who fit that description does not mean that all do. You're very young, Jade, and you don't know what lies ahead. You might be surprised by how you feel about this in fifteen or twenty years.

Lallie

[Danielle76]

I am sorry but I don't think dressing is a "dirty little secret"

A secret maybe but there is nothing is dirty about it

Come on, you know what I mean. To me, it's dirty in a sexy way. It's not something I'm at all proud of, but when I say "dirty" it's not in a judgmental way, I mean it in a naughty-arousing type of way.

[Imogen_Mann]

GOTTCHA

So how do you guys and girls feel, do you feel that saying "I am transgendered " rather than "I crossdress" may make acceptance of not just who you are, but acceptance by your partners easier to understand by the public ?

?

To me that's like saying "I'm human" and claiming it's a way of stopping racial hatred.... It is, yes, and in theory it might work, but I'm also English and proud of that so I say "I'm English" when people ask my race. Trans-gender covers what I do, but to be honest I think it will add confusion to the mix because people will then think... "what part of transgender ?" And will not know and may not ask... and could then make assumptions about me that are incorrect.

I prefer specifics. I am a cross-dresser, anyone that looks at me will know that it's MtF without needing to ask () and will know what I do... Just saying I'm transgender... Leaves too much to thier imagination and invites misconception.

The above is OPINION. My one.

[eluuzion]

I believe that most people are open to new ideas, as long as they are exactly like the old ones, or match their own beliefs. lol

Unfortunately, many people must experience a direct, positive personal benefit before changing a negative perception of something. It is not impossible to change opinion, it is just a challenge.

Watching the "social engineering" persuasion used by the television media. During the massive installation of surveillance ("traffic" cams) networks, there was a flurry of video reports showing bad guys being "caught" and arrested due to the video cams installed. That strategy of manipulation to change public opinion, or sell a new "idea", is very wrong, in my world. But sadly, it works. The "right" way is much more challenging and time consuming...piece by piece...

Anyway...regardless of the "terminology" we apply, aside from all of us dressing up as "ET" all the time, we have a long road to gaining widespread public acceptance. But, we should never give up.

[vetobob9]

GOTTCHA

actually it is the term I find I am rejecting more and more, I believe it to be too narrow and the words cross dressing and crossdresser conjures up far to many bad images in Joe publics minds ........ I feel far more comfortable these days using the term Transgendered and Transgenderism. Also Crossdressing I feel in the public eyes leaves out our F2M brothers and that ain't right

Why, am I more comfortable now using those terms, because to me it encompasses a wider range and allows for less bigoted discussion with general members of the public.

So how do you guys and girls feel, do you feel that saying "I am transgendered " rather than "I crossdress" may make acceptance of not just who you are, but acceptance by your partners easier to understand by the public ?

For SO's F & M do you think using the term transgendered would make it easier to explain to others and lead to a more willingness to discuss our lifestyles without that initial judgment the term crossdressing appears to conjour up ?

That can’t but be based on the assumption that every guy who chooses to wear a dress does so because he believes himself to be a girl. What about the dress wearing guys who do not identify as women, and only like to wear dresses as a fashion statement, for example?

I generally use the term crossdresser because it's what most people understand. I much prefer the word "femulator" (a contraction of female emulator) though.

nice terminology. I'll have to remember that.

[Mandy]

[SIZE="3"]I prefer the term crossdresser, as this is what I do, I dress as a woman Part time within my own little world.

Transgendered, Transsexuals are mtf who wants to be a woman full time, had the counciling and are / have gone through the process to make them so.

Transvestite, makes me feel sick just typing the word, its a nasty horrid Slang term that gets blown out of all proportions.

If I may say so this is my personal view in "Lay Persons Terms" I will remove myself from the soap box [/SIZE]

[Sheila]

What about the dress wearing guys who do not identify as women, and only like to wear dresses as a fashion statement, for example?

Transgender is a general term applied to a variety of individuals, behaviors, and groups involving tendencies to deviate from the normative gender roles

NOW Transexualism is defined as

a condition in which an individual identifies with a physical sex that is different from their biological one.

so I guess A would apply in your question, or maybe not if the majority did that, in which case it would become the norm and therefore the Transgender definition of clothing for males would be then exempt from A ....... I think

[Rianna Humble]

it is the term I find I am rejecting more and more, I believe it to be too narrow and the words cross dressing and crossdresser conjures up far to many bad images in Joe publics minds ........ I feel far more comfortable these days using the term Transgendered and Transgenderism. Also Crossdressing I feel in the public eyes leaves out our F2M brothers and that ain't right

I agree that cross-dressing is a fairly narrow term , although it encompasses a very wide range of motivations. Speaking only for myself, cross-dressing is something that I do.

Why, am I more comfortable now using those terms, because to me it encompasses a wider range and allows for less bigoted discussion with general members of the public.

I have found that transgender requires more explanation but once that explanation is given, people accept it as the reason why I cross-dress.

Jade seems to think that her fetishistic motivation is the only possible reason why someone would cross-dress. In holding that opinion forth as if it were fact she demeans those of us for whom there is nothing sexual in our reasons for cross-dressing. In fact, for me, since I accepted myself as a cross-dresser, I have not had the need to seek sexual release, unlike when I was still fighting it.

I accept those who cross-dress for fetishistic reasons as being part of the broader cross-dressing community, but that does not make me a fetishist.

I also accept those who are cisgendered as part of the human race, but that does not mean that being human makes you cisgendered.

So how do you guys and girls feel, do you feel that saying "I am transgendered " rather than "I crossdress" may make acceptance of not just who you are, but acceptance by your partners easier to understand by the public ?

It has definitely been my experience that explaining that I am transgendered has made it easier for people (including my father) to understand why I cross-dress. However, my own experience allows me to understand why a non-fetishistic cross-dresser might hesitate to call themselves transgendered.

If I can explain - as recently as a year ago, I had done such a good job of fighting who I am that I had convinced myself that I only wore "women's" clothes because I found them more comfortable not because I had any thoughts of being a woman. I also offered the rationale that as women were allowed to wear traditionally-male apparel it was hypocritically wrong to deny me the right to wear traditionally-female garb. In a nutshell, all I wanted at that point was to be a "bloke in a dress".

I firmly believe that there are some M2F cross-dressers for whom that would suffice. Although technically they might be transgendered, I think it is possible for them to be doing it purely as a sort of fashion statement in the same way that a GG wearing a man's suit might not necessarily be transgendered.

In my own experience, by the time I found crossdressers.com I had already begun to realise that I was probably not a "bloke in a skirt" but a woman in a man's body. I am saddened that there are some people in our community who cannot understand that cross-dressing encompases a broad range of actions and motivations.

Personally, I am happy for those who just want to be cross-dressers to be just that. I am also happy for those of us who realise that our anatomy does not match our "brain-gender" to call ouselves transgendered, or for those of us who live in the opposite gender to that assigned at birth to be transsexual.

I also, fully understand that someone who has completed transition, may no longer wish to use the "trans" label at all. I am also grateful that there are sufficient who have finished the journey and who are happy to stick around to help those of us who are still trying to find the way.

[Lynneth Lee]

[SIZE=2]Girls,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]I think what is going on here is a matter of semantics and most of you are saying what you personally want to be called and that's how it should be. May I offer another slant. To say, I'm transgendered sounds like "it is done" and that's the end of it. Why not say I (NOT I'M) transgender. That way it says what you do, not necessarily what you are. I don't know if this helps, but I hope so![/SIZE]

[SIZE=2]NANETTE FAYE [/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]I forgot to add yesterday that this old saying seems appropriate in this discussion: "A rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Nanette[/SIZE]

[girlalex]

in my case im not just a corssdresser. i don't just like to put on female clothing because they look better on me and i enjoy the look. there is much more to that.
but i guess its how you look at the term. a crossdresser can be a term with one meaning which means someone who wears the clothes of the opposite sex without a significant motive behind the action of doing so. for instance an actor who plays a roll of the opposite sex would be a crossdresser actor for instance. where is being transgender gives you a concrete reason to why someone like me feels more like him self wearing female's clothing.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I usually describe myself as a "transvestite". They used that term almost exclusively when I was growing up and I knew that I was one from a young age. If one looks up the term (clinically) that is exactly what I am. It is the correct term to define what I am and I never felt a need to use a more "polite" or "politically correct" alternative.

[Rianna Humble]

[SIZE=2]May I offer another slant. To say, I'm transgendered sounds like "it is done" and that's the end of it. Why not say I (NOT I'M) transgender. That way it says what you do, not necessarily what you are. I don't know if this helps, but I hope so![/SIZE]

That is a nice suggestion, but does not fit me personally. I am transgendered - that is who I am. I cross-dress - that is what I do as a result of who I am.

being transgender gives you a concrete reason to why someone like me feels more like him self wearing female's clothing.

Isn't it great that we can have such a wide range of reasons and experiences with what unites us - we cross-dress.

In my case, I am not a person who feels more like himself when wearing women's clothing. I am someone who feels more like herself when wearing what society calls women's clothing (these days I only wear mine).

So let's celebrate unity in diversity!