I am Rejecting Crossdressing

[Sheila]

GOTTCHA

actually it is the term I find I am rejecting more and more, I believe it to be too narrow and the words cross dressing and crossdresser conjures up far to many bad images in Joe publics minds ........ I feel far more comfortable these days using the term Transgendered and Transgenderism. Also Crossdressing I feel in the public eyes leaves out our F2M brothers and that ain't right

Why, am I more comfortable now using those terms, because to me it encompasses a wider range and allows for less bigoted discussion with general members of the public.

So how do you guys and girls feel, do you feel that saying "I am transgendered " rather than "I crossdress" may make acceptance of not just who you are, but acceptance by your partners easier to understand by the public ?

For SO's F & M do you think using the term transgendered would make it easier to explain to others and lead to a more willingness to discuss our lifestyles without that initial judgment the term crossdressing appears to conjour up ?

[jenifer m.]

transgenderd is problably ok for those of us who dress up to pass all the time,but i myself am just basically a cross dresser as i wear mens and womans clothes at the same time.i enjoy both ways of dressing so i guess cross dress is the term i prefer for me.

[celeste26]

It's just a word, and it is a correct word for our mutual activity. Rather than using our activity as an identifier, you seem to prefer using a status word (transgendered) and it is just as correct. It doesn't bother me which ever floats your boat.

I feel free to use either of them in their proper place.

[Kate Simmons]

Sometimes a spoonful of "sugar" helps the medicine go down, sometimes not. Simply calling it something else does not minimize or alter the activity in the minds of the general public.Some folks just do not see men dressing as woman as "normal". I use the term for convenience of reference myself but I know each and every person is an individual and cannot really be summed up in a word or a few words. I prefer to think of them as the person they are.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

When I used to post on a "Men in Skirts" forum, the guys there hated the word crossdresser with a passion and they would rail against it any time someone said it. But I still used it and still do use it because I find that the better thing to do is not get so hung up on what you call it, and just relax and dress the way you want to. I find that when you play musical chairs with terminology you give people the impression that you have this deep need to explain yourself, rather than just be comfortable in what you're doing.

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

I generally use the term crossdresser because it's what most people understand. I much prefer the word "femulator" (a contraction of female emulator) though.

[TG_Nicole]

For me anyway what i classify myself as to myself depends on where i'm at in life. Crossdressing really started as a fetish sex thing so i considered myself a crossdresser. I now consider myself transgendered because my goal when i dress is to be as passable as i can and feel as feminine as i can. It's no longer about sex for me its about how i feel comfortable gender wise. Not saying there are anything wrong with people who really are just there for a fetish sex reason. But for me i am transgendered.

[Tamara Croft]

I don't use the term crossdresser for Tammy, I feel that's more of a US term. She's my T-Girl or transgendered, or my lil' tranny Look at all the websites you get when you do a search for crossdressers, it's completely different to when you search for the term transgendered. Good question Sheila

[Mirani]

Last weekend a well-meaning inquiring friend of a friend asked me if I was trans woman. I do get tired of having to label myself now. I know she was only asking, but really, what business is it of anyone but me and mine?
So I asked her why she was asking; would a label help anyone? She said that she was just interested and didnt mean to be rude. I told her I didnt see it as rude, just that not many other people there were being asked to justify themselves. I did talk in a non confrontational way.

So I asked "what do you see?"
She said " a woman"
I said, "so do I".
She gave me a hug, apologised and we chatted about the people we had in common.

I know labels can help people to get a grip on something. I just dont think I fit nicely into a category.
I am 24/7.
Not seeking any SRS.
I do not see myself as a "crossdresser" and don't describe myself as such, but dont feel insulted if someone else does.
Next time I am asked, I may feel less sensitive and simply say "I live as a woman" and leave it at that.

I agree tho with Sheila that "crossdresser" has a negative conotation owing to the sensationalisation of offenders who cross dress and the only news being negative or visual representation as ridiculous.

[Super Amanda]

It seems that some people are confusing "transgender" with "transsexual" and other "trans" words.

The word "trans" means "Across , on the other side or beyond" , that's why "transgender" covers the entire spectrum of gender identity variances.

The word "Transgendered" does not even imply anything specific, making it a "blanket" term, but "crossdresser" has a very specific meaning.

Saying you're not transgendered but are only a crossdresser is a contradictory statement.

I hate labels, but we live in a world of labels, so I think everyone should try to at least get the terminology right.

The information is out there to anyone who is able to post on this site, via the magic of the Internet, so maybe take a few minutes from clothes shopping on eBay to do some research and see what we call ourselves these days.

The information out there for us TRANS people (see what I did, there?) is always changing and evolving, so I believe that we need to be at least aware of those changes to contribute to the greater understanding of trans folks in general.

The world is confused about transgendered (see what I did there, again?) people as it is, without people on our side not even using the terminology correctly.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Shelia,

I agree how words have pre-conceived notions. Personally I hate the term "She-Male" Recently I have heard a term that is better then either crossdresser or transgendered at describing how I feel about myself..... that is Bi-Gendered.

For me, I enjoy both sides of my personality, and bi-gendered seems to really hit the nail on the head.

Anyway, that is my

[KimberlyJo]

The word "Transgendered" does not even imply anything specific, making it a "blanket" term, but "crossdresser" has a very specific meaning.

Saying you're not transgendered but are only a crossdresser is a contradictory statement.

True, a crossdresser is any person who enjoys (for WHATEVER reason) wearing the clothes of the opposite sex. This includes those who do it for purely visual and sexual reasons without any desire to feel feminine.

Transgender to me is a mental state. It is either moving fluidly along the gender spectrum or positioning somewhere closer to the opposite gender one was assigned at birth.

In this way, it is possible for a crossdresser to correctly not consider themself transgendered in any way; if they do it for purely visual purposes.

The world is confused about transgendered (see what I did there, again?) people as it is, without people on our side not even using the terminology correctly.

The problem is that the terminology changes, rapidly (as you pointed out). It can be difficult to keep up with, although we should all make an effort to try. Add to that the difference in common terminology in different countries and you're in for a tough time communicating. I live in the US but have had numerous debates on crossdresser vs. transvestite with people in the UK.

Me? I'm a genderfluid transgender non-fetishistic male-to-female crossdresser. Did I miss anything?

[Tamara Croft]

The world is confused about transgendered (see what I did there, again?) people as it is, without people on our side not even using the terminology correctly.

But who's to say your terminology is correct anyway? There is so much information on the net about the term transgendered, that even transgendered (everyone) can't even agree on what it even means. What people need is to be educated, not spoken to like a 5 year old, which imho your post comes across as... don't tell people off for not understanding, try teaching them with a bit more decorum and less of a know it all attitude.

[Deborah Jane]

Saying you're not transgendered but are only a crossdresser is a contradictory statement.

The information is out there to anyone who is able to post on this site, via the magic of the Internet, so maybe take a few minutes from clothes shopping on eBay to do some research and see what we call ourselves these days.

Just for your information.......Sheila is a GG.....My wife!!! She supports not only me, but also many members of our community

Do Your research on the OP before making an ass of yourself!!!!

[Engendered]

Transgendered is the term I most like. Crossdresser, for me, is misleading. It implies that the clothes are the important part, the driving force, whereas in reality, crossdressing is only a by-product, for me, of being transgendered. Crossdressing is a state of action. Transgenderism is a state of being.

So, from a psychological viewpoint, I do believe that certain words make things better for public consumption. A string-plucker might seem like an odd thing to be called. Why are you so obsessed with plucking strings? But you tell someone that you're a musician, and that you string pluck to experience the joy of the music, I think it makes more sense to people.

-Susan. (I crossdress for the joy of the music)

[sonia_dargency]

.... I find that the better thing to do is not get so hung up on what you call it, and just relax and dress the way you want to. I find that when you play musical chairs with terminology you give people the impression that you have this deep need to explain yourself, rather than just be comfortable in what you're doing.

You said it

to make an analogy with a personal event, when I met my wife, she already had three teenage kids from a previous marriage (she is a bit older than I am)

although we got along very well and still do, I was not their buddy, I was not their dad or even step dad, no label could stick to me, I was just ... me.

[Sheila]

• CROSS-DRESSER (noun)

Meaning:

Someone who adopts the dress or manner or sexual role of the opposite sex

Synonyms:
cross-dresser; transvestite

Hypernyms ("cross-dresser" is a kind of...):

individual; mortal; person; somebody; someone; soul (a human being) ow I like that clarification

Transgender identities

While people self-identify as transgender, transgender identity includes many overlapping categories. These include cross-dresser (CD); transvestite (TV); androgynes; genderqueer; people who live cross-gender; drag kings; and drag queens; and, frequently, transsexual (TS).[26] Usually not included are transvestic fetishists (because it is considered to be a paraphilia rather than gender identification).
The extent to which intersex people (those with ambiguous genitalia or other physical sexual characteristics) are transgender is debated, since not all intersex people disagree with their gender assigned at birth. The current definitions of transgender include all transsexual people, although this has been criticized. (See below.)

The term trans man refers to female-to-male (FtM or F2M) transgender people, and trans woman refers to male-to-female (MtF or M2F) transgender people, although some transgender people identify only slightly with the gender not assigned at birth. In the past, it was assumed that there were far more trans women than trans men, but a Swedish study estimated a ratio of 1.4:1 in favour of trans women for those requesting sex reassignment surgery and a ratio of 1:1 for those who proceeded.[28] There is a school of thought that says terms such as "FtM" and "MtF" are subjugating language that reinforces the binary gender stereotype.[29]

The term cisgender has been coined as an antonym referring to non-transgender people; i.e. those who identify with their gender assigned at birth.[30]

Perhaps that may help clarify to those who clearly do not understand where I come from :whistle: (or maybe confuse some others )

[Sandra]

For me transgendered covers the whole community..and I have found myself using that term more not only here but when talking to friends etc.

This is not meant to offend anyone but....when the term crossdresser is used, joe public 9 times out of 10 automatically thinks of the way out dress sense, too much makeup and over the top hair dos... but use the term transgendered and some will say what do you mean and want to know more.

I have had this happen to me more than once and when I've said it covers cders/ts/ftm and explained that not all are OTT then they have seemed to understand more and wanted to chat more about the community, whether aferwards they understand a little more I can only hope so.

Because of the media/society the term crossdresser IMO has gotten a bad name, and until people get out there and show and educate that it's not bad then I don't think it will change.

[Kieron Andrew]

So how do you guys and girls feel, do you feel that saying "I am transgendered "

^^^ that's me that is!! i've never really liked the term crossdresser and much prefer to encompass everyone into the same spectrum....i like trans, transgender, tranny, in my mind crossdresser or transvestite conjures up some kind of sexual connotation in the eyes of the media and jo/joe public and not all of us are about that

[Mirani]

....when the term crossdresser is used, joe public 9 times out of 10 automatically thinks of the way out dress sense, too much makeup and over the top hair dos... but use the term transgendered and some will say what do you mean and want to know more..
Because of the media/society the term crossdresser IMO has gotten a bad name, and until people get out there and show and educate that it's not bad then I don't think it will change.

I SO agree

[Sandra]

in my mind crossdresser or transvestite conjures up some kind of sexual connotation in the eyes of the media and jo/joe public and not all of us are about that

Yep agree with you on that Kieron.

[Tamara Croft]

I know we all like the term transgendered, so I decided to see what would come up when I typed in www.transgendered.com ... let's just say, it's not what I expected and pretty much a slap in the TG communities face... be warned, it's not for the squeemish...

I'm pretty disappointed that someone would take an umbrella term for all and turn it into that... it's wrong :\\

So to Amanda, thanks for that, I did what you said... and now I feel positively sick... maybe next time, you'll leave people to believe what they want about labels and meanings.

[EnglishRose]

I know we all like the term transgendered, so I decided to see what would come up when I typed in www.transgendered.com ... let's just say, it's not what I expected and pretty much a slap in the TG communities face... be warned, it's not for the squeemish...

I'm pretty disappointed that someone would take an umbrella term for all and turn it into that... it's wrong :\\

So to Amanda, thanks for that, I did what you said... and now I feel positively sick... maybe next time, you'll leave people to believe what they want about labels and meanings.

Why use terms correctly when there's capitalism to be done!

[Tamara Croft]

Why use terms correctly when there's capitalism to be done!

How is that even relevant?

[MAJESTYK]

I hate labels........I am just who I am. I understand that there must be a definition of everything otherwise, we simply return to a time when there was not a "word" for anything. We would all simply just grunt and point.

The true meaning of all the words we are talking about has been convoluted since their inception. Originally, they were "clinical" words made by Docotrs to explain something as simply as they could. People have made them fit what they needed. The root of many of them being latin and simply meaning to "cross" either dressing or the clothes that we wear or the biggy, the "sex" that we were given.

If someone needs to have a word to understand who you are, they dont need to be explained to anyway. If we need a word to understand ourselves, we need someone to help us accept ourselves. If you or those that matter are comfortable with you, you dont need a word or an explaination.