The Thrill Is Gone!

[Julie]

I returned to work almost a month ago. Since then I've been immersed in the manly world of construction workers. I'm talking guys who oogle passing females, who ride Harleys, who drink beer when they aren't at work but are awake, who scratch 'down there' regardless of who is around, who are totally intolerant of any man acting the least bit feminine.

I had no problem adjusting. I've been doing this over 30 years and it's second nature to me.

When I got back my hair was pretty long but I cut it because it was such a hassle. I still had the remains of my acrylic nails but they have almost all been removed by now. I'm slowly shedding signs of Julie.

As the days went on I found myself thinking less and less about dressing. It just didn't interest me. It was too much trouble. I just didn't care.

The thrill is gone.

I still sleep en femme. I bought some pink satin sheets for my waterbed and my cami-jamas make the experience that much more luxurious. I also wear studs in my ears when off work, mostly to keep the holes open.

I'll admit, I like the image in the mirror when I'm ready to go to bed, girl jamas, CZ studs, but I zonk quickly because I'm so darn tired from working in swealtering heat all day. Laura wants to go out Friday but I just don't feel like it.

The thrill is gone.........................for now.

[Priscilla1018]

Here's hoping you get it back soon.

[WandaJones]

Hang in there Julie. It will all return. Take that as gospel from a compulsive purger. The job and the weather probably aren't helping at the moment either.

[Ophelia D'Void]

By its very nature the thrill of wearing women's clothes goes away the more one dresses... just a function of the fact that if you do something "special" long enough it no longer becomes special. Not a bad thing, just a thing I suppose.

Maybe you're thinking more like a GG now? Although I do admit that women's clothes can be more comfortable in many cases than men's clothes (still have to bitch about the shoes sometimes, but can't get over the fact that they look fabulous), in the end even women don't get a thrill in throwing on pantyhose before work... it's just something that needs to be done.

Best of luck at work though, and don't let the chauvies get you down,

Hugz & Kisses,
O

[Wenda]

wow... Julie... our rock... but, I know what you mean. It has been just over a year since I found this great site. A lot has changed in that time. I was overwhelmed and exhillerated to find this group. But, many of the girls are not here any more. Maybe this site works as a rite of passage for some of us? Being femme takes a lot of energy. I used to get quite a charge from just buying lingerie, but that has diminished. I have a new job, which has demanded my focus, and has distracted me from dressing.
I don't think that is negative, just reality. You must have noticed how many of us report encounters with depression. I would like to see someone do a study which investigates the curious relationships between depression and crossdressing.
If it is not working for you right now, that is a temporary loss for us here, but if it works for you, we all benefit, right? Whatever works, keep in touch, OK? luv, wenda

[Holly]

Julie, it sounds to me like you're on the verge of another plateau in your journey. Thrills come and thrills go. Growth doesn't stop until we die.

You didn't ask for any advise, so I won't give you any except to say be prepared to learn even more about Julie/Jules. Something is in the wind.

[MistyCD]

As the days went on I found myself thinking less and less about dressing. It just didn't interest me. It was too much trouble. I just didn't care.

The thrill is gone.


Julie, Do you think you can tell us this after.....

A. You walk past the Victorias Secret Store in the mall
B. You walk past the shoe dispaly at a department store with a hundred pair of high heels on display
c. You walk past the lingerie and hosiery section in a department store.
d. You walk past the cosmetics counter

and in each case you don't stop to look and wonder how you would look in everything you just saw

try it hun....and let us know?

Misty

[Jenny Beth]

The thrill may be gone for now but it will come back and be more enjoyable than before. So make hay while the sun shines, we all need to make a buck somehow. Stay safe.

[Joyce S]

I have come to rather enjoy my off times because I now know I'll always return (I have learned not to purge.) After a few weeks away, the pleasure of dressing up is all the more enjoyable. I just don't worry when Joyce leaves; I know she will come back, often sooner than later. Be patient!!

[Tristen Cox]

Geesh between you and Sherlyn, now I tell ya, there must definitly be some female genes in the mix. Mood swing anyone?

Have a drink, relax, watch some WWF wrestling.. Yar! That will get you back in the mood

[steffie39]

Hi Julie,

I always found the thrills have ebbs in them. I often thought it goes away permanently but then when I least expect it, it comes back strong.


Steffie

[Rachel Morley]

Laura wants to go out Friday but I just don't feel like it.

Hi Julie,

Don't worry about not wanting to go out. Maybe you should go anyway. I have to tell you many times in the past I have been invited out on the town (in drab) and I didn't feel like it, but when I got to the club (still feeling miserable) and started to feel the vibe of the place, pumping music, people, the whole atmosphere, then I began to feel like "yeah, this place feels good" and after a drink or two......well party on!

I'm not going to tell you how you feel, but in my experience apathy is usually borne out of fatigue. Could it be that you've just been working too hard?

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Could be a couple things...

My dressing tends to run in cycles, so it could just be that you need some guy time. And I've found, like Ophelia said, dressing a lot does take the "special treat thrill" out of it. Plus you've got a new job and if you're physically wiped out at the end of the day, you probably wouldn't have the energy for any other hobby.

Don't worry about it, you'll either regain interest or you won't -- but as long as you're happy, does it really matter?

[JoannaDees]

What happened? There was once talk of transitioning. Mama bear indeed!

[Miss Vicki]

Sounds to me like a normal cycle. I mean everyone goes through a 28 day thing.
I am working in construction also, and the weather has been so hot and dry that they are working everyday. There does not seem to be any time to relax and smell the roses. (Perfume) But the days will come. Relax and enjoy your male side. The frustration will build and then the switch back will be that more pleasurable. Been there, done that.

[DanaJ]

I understand where you are coming from Julie - I have worked construction (heavy construction - steelworking) for 28 years now. The guys I work with, well.... let's just say they would be in prison if it weren't for this job

And then here old Dana is - obviously shaped brows, permanent nails, sometime hairless body.... and you know what? I have slowly started to educate some of the guys. I show them my nails, tell them about the joys of getting a manicure, etc. I had one guy ask me last week about where he could get a manicure, he would like to try one! Shocked the hell outta me!!!!

And when they talk about Harleys, I talk about crotch rockets - when they talk about muscle cars, I talk about imports, when they talk about hunting and fishing, I talk about saving the wildlife. Just because you work with knuckle-draggers, you don't have to be one.

Now, as far as hot goes, I know all about that too. Every day well over 100 degrees (and usually 90% humidity and in it 9 hours) where I work, it leaves me drained at the end of the day - so CDing is sometimes the farthest thing from my mind. That is to be expected and is understood. It is a cycle that happens every year, I just roll with it and make up for lost CD time when Fall and Winter get here

DanaJ

[Emily Ann Brown]

You truly have become a woman girl....you sound just like my wife!!!

I get those feeling every so often, only difference is I only dress every so often so I usually am in a no-dressing constraint when I feel like that. You will get into the routine and the weather will cool and you will be back to your old self very quickly. We are understand, so take your time to adjust to all the new stuff around you.


Emily Ann

[Rainbow6562005]

Hi, Julie,

Going to bed in women's clothing suggests that the thrill is still there, at least at night. I suspect that once cooler weather returns, and the construction season slows down, the thrill will broaden for you.

I love the feel and look of pantyhose, but I avoid wearing them in the current hot and humid weather. Yuck! Comes the fall, though, back in them!

Rainbow

[Julie]

As the days went on I found myself thinking less and less about dressing. It just didn't interest me. It was too much trouble. I just didn't care.

The thrill is gone.


Julie, Do you think you can tell us this after.....

A. You walk past the Victorias Secret Store in the mall
B. You walk past the shoe dispaly at a department store with a hundred pair of high heels on display
c. You walk past the lingerie and hosiery section in a department store.
d. You walk past the cosmetics counter

and in each case you don't stop to look and wonder how you would look in everything you just saw

try it hun....and let us know?

Misty

A. Just a glance, no big deal. But if it was a tool store it would stop me dead in my tracks!
B. If the shoe really caught my eye I'd buy it but I already have several pairs I haven't worn yet so I might take a pass.
C. I'm not a lingerie nut. To me, lingerie only looks good on GGs. As for hosiery, I buy L'eggs at the grocery store.
D. Again, nothing. I usually get my cosmetics the same place I buy my hose.

[carson]

Geesh between you and Sherlyn, now I tell ya, there must definitly be some female genes in the mix. Mood swing anyone?

Have a drink, relax, watch some WWF wrestling.. Yar! That will get you back in the mood

[SIZE=4]Tristen! What's going on here? Was it something you said? You sure as hell know how to clear a room![/SIZE] (Just kiddin' darlin)

[SIZE=5]Jules & Sherlyn, I'll miss you but go enjoy being guys. Please touch base now and then![/SIZE]

[paulaN]

Julie It will probley take a least a month at work to get used to working again. does that make sence. Work Hardening program that would help, give it a month. maybe then you won't feel so used up at the end of a work day. And then a dress will feel better than jeans bangen around the house.

[Julie]

Just because you work with knuckle-draggers, you don't have to be one.

Now, as far as hot goes, I know all about that too. Every day well over 100 degrees (and usually 90% humidity and in it 9 hours) where I work, it leaves me drained at the end of the day
DanaJ

Believe me Dana, I think about what you endure all the time when I'm at work. I don't know how you handle that kind of heat! As far as bringing onesself down to caveman status, I never do. I am well respected because I am my own person and I treat others with respect and dignity, no matter who they are. I like to combine humor with intelligence and even with the least educated, it seems to be accepted well. Just want you to know I don't change the core of who I am. But having to work in this environment I sometimes wonder if it's worth all the effort we have to go through to be femme. I am reminded why it wasn't all that hard to deny my femme self for all those years, I was too involved with work to be able to cross over comfortably and easily. It just seemed like too much work.

For everyone:

This doesn't mean I'm leaving the forum or that I've changed or that I've chosen a different path. I'm still the same. Everything you know about me is unchanged. This is just a bump in the road. No big deal.

And Joanna, your comment about transitioning... I guess if I believed I could do it successfully and my family and friends were supportive, I'd do it. But I've come to realize I'm too much of a guy to pull it off and they knew that. I'd be the most butch chick you'd ever meet. So I've decided to leave that to another life, if there is one. If you knew me in person you'd know all the hormones in the world aren't going to make me a woman. But it's all been a great educational experience for me. I can take what I've learned and pass it on, hopeful that this knowledge will help others make the right choices. Had I had someone like that in my life, I might still be married and my son and I would be talking and enjoying each other's friendship.

However, if you don't see me posting as often, you can rest assure it's because I'll be catching some much needed sleep, not because I've left.