That moment when you realise being a cd would be for life

[joanne51]

After that first venture into the femme world, when did it hit you that this wasn't a one-off ? Or did you just think it would wear off ?

What made you go back for more... and more?!

[kimdl93]

hmmm, I would say that I felt free to include CDing as part of my life when my gf, now my wife, showed such openness and acceptance of me as a CDer. I had been abstaining for several years as I recovered from a painful divorce. Her understanding made it OK for me to be myself again.

[thechic]

I realized it when in my high school years,started dressing as a girl from about the age of 6 or so.thought i was the only person in the world that wanted to be a girl and was born a boy.just cant stop that want.

[Phyliss]

There wasn't really a moment but more like a shift in feelings. I just felt so right when dressed. Didn't want to loose that feeling. Now it's so comfortable that I almost forget what it used to feel like before I began seriously dressing

[suchacutie]

Within a few days of the first time I ever dressed (in front of my wife, in fact) I had a name, an e-mail address, and a very supportive wife. I had tried on a dress and it didn't hang right (no breastforms yet) and it was clear tina needed breasts. My wife encouraged me and it was clear at that point there was no return...this was forever..

Even if I stop dressing regularly, tina is a part of life forever. It seems she has always been there!

[TNRobin]

hmmm, I would say that I felt free to include CDing as part of my life when my gf, now my wife, showed such openness and acceptance of me as a CDer. I had been abstaining for several years as I recovered from a painful divorce. Her understanding made it OK for me to be myself again.

That's very close to my story. My current and final girlfriend of 2 years now brought it up one day as in, "you'd look cute in this," and things haven't been the same since. I'd been dressing up to one extent or another since I was probably 8 or so and quiting from time to time, the last time for over a decade; lots of "born again guilt." Thank god I got away from that!

[Tina B.]

After 3 purges, 1 divorce, a second marriage, and a day at home alone with a closet full of womens clothing beckoning for me to come and play. I knew then the only cure for me was clothes of my own.
Tina

[JessicaMiller]

I realized after a couple years of college. At first i thought i was just going through a faze, but i couldn't shake it once i got out on my own i the world. Going on 11 years now.

[sterling12]

It coincides with me accepting myself for who I am. Before that, for most of my life, I always believed it was something I could "take it or leave it," per my own choosing.

With Acceptance I firmly realized that it was so much of a lifetime commitment, it would be just about as easy to "quit," as taking a can opener and removing my head from my body!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[jenifer m.]

i think i relized i could not stop around my highschool years,but i started around 4 or 5 years old i guess.so ive been at it for 35 years now.

[Shayna Ashley]

It was a series of events for me. I tried so many times to stop dressing and I just can't. I can control the times when I dress and limit it so I am not going crazy to want to dress all the time. It was after the purges that I kept on buying the girlie clothes that I started to realize that this is not going to go away. I first thought getting married would make it go away, but after seven years of being married the cding is still there. I finally decided to give in and just allow myself to enjoy this side of me.

[CDTiffany]

I realized it one weekend. My aunt came to stay the weekend. She always wore much more feminine clothing than my mom did. We where all supposed to go somewhere together. I dont remember where. But I knew that I wanted to have some time with my aunt's suit case. I pretended to be sick, just so I could stay home and raid her suitcase and what she hung up in the closet. Mom was not happy. She did not know what I was up to.
But she was not happy for leaving me behind. I was 11 or 12 years old. They left, And left me alone. YA!!!!!

I will never forget the experience of opening my Aunts travel bag and pulling out White Satin w/Lace tap Panties with a matching white satin w/lace camisole. I PUT THE OUTFIT ON AND KNEW I WAS GOING TO WEAR WOMENS CLOTHING FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. So smooth, So fun, So ME!!!!!

Age 11 or 12, My Aunts lingerie!

Thats my story.

XOXO Tiffany Amber Rhoads

[Dee Model]

I finally realised it when I stopped purging for good. The last one (about 6 years ago) hurt so much I vowed never to do that again. Dee would kill her male counter-part!

Dee now has her own wardrobe, literally!

[Stina84]

I have had fantasies about crossdressing since my teens but it was only about a year ago that I did something about it and bought some clothes over the internet. A financial breakdown a few months back had lowered my defenses so much that I just followed the impulse.

I still remember how scared I was when the mailman brought me the package with the clothes (I had stayed up the whole night because I were so excited that I could not sleep). I tore the package open and put on the clothes and immediately felt absolutely wonderful. Right from that moment I knew my fantasies were not wrong - being a beautiful girl was definitely the right thing for me.

I had never regretted my crossdressing and I hope my femme side will be with me for the rest of my life.

[Dee Model]

It coincides with me accepting myself for who I am. Before that, for most of my life, I always believed it was something I could "take it or leave it," per my own choosing.

So true. I had to tell my sister recently: This isn't something I do, it is something that I am.

I am a dual personality; a composite. Two people who share a body. My male self wouldn't do half the things Dee does. Especially with men!

[JenniferR771]

i thought marriage would cure me of my fetshes and cding--wrong. I felt it was OK and would be long lasting when I visited an adult booksote and found some literature, and magazines. Later I read Peggy Rudd's book, "My husband wears my clothes" . Thanks Melanie.

[Mitzi]

For me, it was very shortly after marrying. I'd always thought once I got married this craving for dressing up as a girl would go away...

As we all know, WRONG... I realized then the urge would never go away...

Mitzi

[Sandygal]

Until I stumbled onto this site, I didn't even realize there was a name for what I was. I thought I was a 45 year old guy with a lot of mental problems.(That was 7 years ago). I carried this around with me my whole life. Of course I never told anyone, I thought there was something wrong with me. Imagine me surprise and relief when I discovered I was a Crossdresser and that there were many, many others out there like myself. So yes, I've always felt my female side. Like I said above, I discovered I was a cd 7 years ago and the joy of that discovery still makes me feel great.

[RancidRabbits]

The summer before college for me when I finally shaved my arms and legs. It just felt right. Anyway, my personality shifted so often in high school as I explored what and who I was, that I never really had time to stick to the rebel, athlete, pretty-boy, loner, etcetera. There were times I didn't even feel human thanks to this. In the end, I ripped each of myselves apart and joined them into the apparatus I am now, the human machine as it is, bra and all.

I've been about fully dressed and half dressed, and wanted to grow my hair out, but lost to the cosplays I do at anime conventions. This is definitely a life thing, but my employers dislike when I walk in all painted-face, so I bend to society on that one.

[LisaAlexander]

Basically the moment I joined this site, my dressing has been very sporadic but now I want moooooree!!! Just the fact that I have uploaded some photos gets me excited

[renee k]

There wasn't really a moment but more like a shift in feelings. I just felt so right when dressed. Didn't want to loose that feeling. Now it's so comfortable that I almost forget what it used to feel like before I began seriously dressing

I'm with Phyliss one this one. That's how was for me, it all felt right, when I dressed. I'm very comfortable with this side of me.

Renee

[Karen kc]

I've been dressing since I was 6, and ten yrs ago I realized that nothing would change this feeling I had deep inside,playing baseball, fishing,hotrods, or even getting married , nothing would change. Now at53 yo I'm so glad that I accept who I really am, and a supporting wife helps a lot

[Kaitlyn Michele]

what a wonderful question!!!.

altho i dressed whenever possible since i was a little kid, i never thought of it as me "being a crossdresser"... and i didnt really think of wearing the clothes as crossdressing....however, i never thought of myself as a woman either...

i never thought anything about it...i just did it...and when i wasnt doing it i was thinking about it...in fact, i guess i had no thinking time left for wondering about it...

As i aged, i still never thought of what it was...i just did it...and i had to add a couple hours a day of not thinking about it to my schedule

and then when i thought about "what i was" i started to feel the terrible distress that many transsexuals feel prior to accepting our fates...(what a morbid sentence - but true for me)

i would say that my best guess is that my thought process grew from my initial confusion about how i felt as a little kid and it protected me.. (altho now i wish i had accepted it many years earlier)

It's apparent to me that crossdressers and transsexuals often go through a very similar thought process although many TS women internally realize and accept they are women as little kids and frankly have a better time of it than i did

[Gillian]

When I returned to it after a long office job based sabbatical of 5 years it felt "me" and feels likee I shall be indulging now for the rest of my days

[bron]

I have known for 20 years that i have a strong fem side to me.
it was only in the last 3 years that my fem side has demanded attention...and i am so glad she did. Its so me....