Dollars for Drab

[Magickman]

Believe it or not, this happened over the weekend.

I was out at a suburban ballroom for the regular singles social dance party.

The woman who organizes the events, Carol, greeted me at the door.

"If you come dressed in man clothes, Jake," she said, "I will let you in for free."

There I was, in a denim mini, opaque black tights, and heels.

"No foo-foo, and only stud earrings," she added.

I was slightly taken aback, to say the least.

If this happened to you, how would you react, and would you take her up on the offer?

[kimdl93]

I'm curious, did Carol give a reason for wanting you to attend en drab? Also, having never atttened a singles dance (enfemme or otherwise) how did the other singles respond to you?

[Brandi Wyne]

Like Kim said, has there been comments or ruffled egos on the dance floor? I think I'd be asking her just what brought on the comment and offer. Then, maybe I'd consider to do it or not.

[Magickman]

Carol, the dance party organizer, is a very nice woman, but one of rather traditional and conservative tastes.

She has remarked previously that she thinks I would look better in male clothing styles.

Carol and I have danced together many times, while I was wearing a skirt and heels. She is always in a skirt, too. So she she is not altogether against skirts.

Many, but certainly not all, of the gals at the dance parties will dance with me, while I am dressed. Only a few are vocal in their objections.

I have been dressed at so many of these events, that it is not an issue, at this point.

Carol wants to see me as a man, though. Maybe she feels she could be attracted to me, in that format. But I am only speculating.

[kimdl93]

Fascinating. For traditonal and conservative, Carol seems surprisingly open minded.

Do you live as a woman full time? Are you interested in Carol? If so, would you consider meeting her half way?

[Brina Halloween]

I would guess she got a few complaints and is trying to balance respect for you with not losing other customers that complained. It is not a case of right or wrong, it would be a case of a business owner trying to stay in business.

I have done a couple dance lessons crossdressed before at Halloween timing. Unless I moved much further along the spectrum (and have no thoughts of ever doing that), I won't do it at other times. I know at least 2 guys that are great otherwise that are freaked out when I dress. One is freaked out if I just follow in the group lessons. It is a social group, even if your within your rights, if people stop coming, she is out of business. For every completely excepting person, there is probably an unaccepting one, and then a million shades in-between.

[Persephone]

I would guess she got a few complaints and is trying to balance respect for you with not losing other customers that complained. It is not a case of right or wrong, it would be a case of a business owner trying to stay in business.
. . . It is a social group, even if your within your rights, if people stop coming, she is out of business. For every completely excepting person, there is probably an unaccepting one, and then a million shades in-between.

I agree with Brina. You have a personal lifestyle that does challenge others and she has a business in which she has invested her money and effort. You have placed her in an awkward situation and it is very likely that she has received complaints, and maybe even suffered the loss of business as a result of your self-expression.

She sounds like she really doesn't wish to deny you access to her business place, and is aware of possible legal rights you may have, but she does also have something she has invested in and worked hard for that is at stake.

But there is the possibility that others have suggested, that she may genuinely like you and wants to get to know you better en drab, in which case you have to decide if the "dollars for drab" are really "stimulus money" or "cash for clunkers."

[jenifer m.]

id ask her why then if it was a ligit reason i would say why not.en drabs not so bad.if you get in free.remember you can still underdress.

[Cathytg]

I guess you did not pass, huh?

What an odd thing for her to say. Would she also wear man clothes at the next bridal shower she attends?

[sherri52]

I would give it a try. If your right and Carol likes you it could mean an ltr. She already knows you dress and most probably knows it's not going to stop. The question is do you like Carol and do you want a ltr.

[Slim Jim]

Believe it or not, this happened over the weekend.

I'm going to go with "not".

[SuzanneBender]

Magic there are a lot of factors at work here. The thing I like about your approach is that it is the honest one. Carol and her feelings aside what if you meet the gal of dreams en drab? Now you have the whole will she accept me issue working. If they are comfy with you en femme and you want to be en femme I wouldn't change a thing.

OK a caveat. If she offered me enough money for a nice designer pair of shoes or dress then maybe we would have to enter into negotiations. Maybe my wife and I need to find some local dance clubs. This could work its way into a nice second income.

[Loni]

just maybe...are there many "men" there? just maybe the gg there just want more "men" to dance with??

if not then take the freebe if you need the cash, if not then be your self.


loni

[Ruth]

I agree. The most likely explanation is just that she is short of male dance partners (not uncommon).
You'd be doing her a favour.

[tinalynn]

Speculation will get you nowhere. Ask her why before deciding anything. But be nice about it, there's no sense in pouring gas on the bridge. I'll bet there's a perfectly legitimate reason for the offer...

[Jessy]

Depends a bit on the relationship between you and Carol... If there's a common interest in each other, then I'd consider. In any other case, I'd just pay and enter as a girl.

[TxKimberly]

Too many unknowns here to make the call. What does this woman mean to you? Is she a good friend? If she is a good friend, is she essentially asking a favor of you (to come drab)? If someone I cared a lot about were making a personal request then yes I would do it.
If she were just an acquaintance or just more or less teasing then no, I wouldn't go drab. It would be kind of awful to be at an actual ball, with pretty girls and pretty gowns, to know I could be among them, but then show up in only pants.