Outed After Death

[NV Susan]

[SIZE="2"]This thread is mostly for our girls who are partly or all the way in the closet.
I had a friend die suddenly this week with no warning. It got me to thinking about us who are not "out" with all friends and family. Have you ever thought about what would happen if you should pass away suddenly? You know friends or family would find those cloths you have stanched, maybe you were en femme or underdressed at the time.
My question is, would finding you secret hurt someone? Do you care, as you would no longer be walking this earth?

As for me I don't think it would hurt anyone, but would sure raise an eyebrow or two......
[/SIZE]

[IMkrystal]

[SIZE="2"]As for me I don't think it would hurt anyone, but would sure raise an eyebrow or two......
[/SIZE]

People will remember what they want to remember about you, good or bad. The only eyebrows that concerns me are God's!

[StaceyJane]

I used to worry about being found out after I died. I kept telling myself that I should put my stuff in a place no one would ever find it.

Now that I'm out I guess I can die not worrying about it. Or maybe when I die I will try to think of a nice dress to be buried in.

[Karen564]

[SIZE=2]I'm sure many thousands over the years were outed after a sudden death..but those secrets seem to stay secret no matter who cleaned the closet out..[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]There was a time when I worried very much about that happening before I came out...but needless to say now, I don't anymore..[/SIZE]

[TxKimberly]

When I was very young (2 or 3) we had an uncle who died. I was far too young and don't have a single memory of him. My older brother and sister would tear up any time you mentioned him - clearly they loved him very much. The funny thing is, I couldn't help but notice that although my brother and sister, and all of the other kids loved this guy, my Grandmother got an odd look on her face every time his name was mentioned. Well, just a couple of years ago my mother let it slip when we were talking about me. It seems that on the day he died of a brain aneurysm, my grandmother and mother were called over by his wife to help get the womens undergarments off of him before the ambulance showed up. As far as I know, I am the only one in my family that is left that knows this now and I have no intention of telling my brother and sister. I had thought about it as a way to say "hey, look what exalted company I am in" but then decided I owed it to the uncle I never knew, who was apparently a kindred spirit, to keep his secret.

[kristinacd55]

Well, my wife knows so as long as she's around she'll take care of it. If not, then surprise, surprise & lookee here!!

[Andrea Reynolds]

This is why I do not dress or underdress when I am riding my motorscooter. I don't worry about myself, but if ther should be an accident, When the hospital staff would hand my wife a bag of womens clothing, she would go on about it for weeks. And yet, she has allowed me to go out wearing lingerie, including stuffed bra, Chic jeans, ladies top, socks and shoes, And says at least it still makes me look like a guy (????). Go figure. Andrea in Baltimore

[Laura Evans]

This thought has crossed my mind often over the years but the thought that I might pass away while en femme did not (surprise -surprise). I use to hide my stash in places I felt no one would look but in reality I think that was naive of me as well, now all my clothing are in the open in my closet and or dresser. I worry less now about being found out after death since my GF knows Laura and approves, I did leave her instructions to remove everthing if the inevitable occurs but that was some time ago and now it does not really matter to me. She can explain to those who may have many questions and I have left a book about Transgedered Children in a prominent location. So far the only family members that do not know are my brothers and my children. Each year I feel closer to telling them but I have not had the courage so far.

[Michelle-Leigh]

[SIZE="3"]I fervently hope to, by some provident circumstance, make the entire MTF transition and die a woman ![/SIZE]

[Nicole Erin]

People will remember what they want to remember about you, good or bad. The only eyebrows that concerns me are God's!

Well said sister.
One's maker is the only judge one needs to concern themselves with.

And remember what they want? True, cause look at when some really creepy person like Mitch Johnson* passes and the media makes them out to be a hero.

And aside, death really is an invasion of one's privacy.

*Name changed to protect the guilty

[Alice Torn]

[SIZE="3"]More than dying, the thought of getting injured, seriously ill, being alive, when all the surprises are found! And, as earlier said, about God's eyebrows! I only hope God also takes into account, that i tried for 40 yrs to find a wife, but was denied.[/SIZE]

[Mitzi]

I used to worry about this often. Fortunately my wife, and now my three adult children and my sister, know of my dressing. So I'm sure they would dispose of any evidence of my CDing.

What is a bit worrisome...some of the stuff I have around the house is, should I say, deliciously age inappropriate.

But should it be discovered by others, my guess is that they would be surprised and titillated, but would remember me for who they knew, with a bit of a grin on their faces.

Mitzi

[jenifer m.]

my thought is that you cant be embarrased about dressing if your dead.right?

[Hope]

I think that if you are dead, you are going to have bigger problems to sort out than who is going to find your clothes. Like being dead.

[Loni]

not to worried about sudden death, it has almost happened a couple times in my life.
when i am dead i will not worry about what others think, if they think good or bad about me...just as long as they remember me.
not sure if the state will dress me as i want before burning up the body.
i have no estate, or cash in the bank, as corps or the state has taken just about all i have so they get the body after i am dead.


.

[eluuzion]

I actually have a statement in my will requesting my epitaph to read "I told you I was sick". I always liked that one.

When I die, the people who are left to deal with whatever is involved in closing my estate and me will know me well enough that nothing will surprise them, just as they learned to expect when I was alive.

Matter of fact, I already have some novelty surprises in place now, for them to discover after I die.

But logically speaking, unless you are some celebrity with monetary reward value in the exposure of such secrets, those close to us tend to "protect" the integrity of those we love who die, even if "covering up" some details is required.

Hey, when we die, we all get the satisfaction of knowing we finally, and unquestionably, succeeded in "passing".

[Alice Torn]

[SIZE="3"]I like that! When we die, we have passed!!!!!![/SIZE]

[Emme]

PLEASE remember ladies....there are many, many more of us than we think!

[TerryTerri]

At this point too many know, even though I am not 'out', and I wouldn't be too worried. In a chuckling way I sort of think if some people discovered this about me after my death, they'd probably go "Oh, well umm, yea, that makes sense now, always though the guy was awfully girlie anyway." Or some other such remark.
However, about 10 years ago I had a confidant and she had a key to my apartment and the key to the 'special' drawer and instructions to get rid of the stuff if something did happen to me. lol.

[Sarah811]

With me I am a completely closet CDer, so my stash is normally kept in the car. I keep meaning to leave a letter for my wife and family to open in the even of my death, explaining what I am and why those things are there. Of more concern to me is what happens if I am seriosuly injured and unable to hide the stuff in the car, purge the computer etc!

[Shelly Preston]

A lot will depend on the circumstances of your death

The emergency services had seen it all before and they will be sensitive to the next of kin
I am sure they will look for clues to see if your relatives know similar to the letter mentioned earlier

[marlacd]

A couple of years ago, I thought about that one. With that, I wrote a rather detailed note about what I was, for what reasons I did it, how I felt, and so on. If it would answer any questions about me, and if it would be understood by my loved ones depends on their point of view. Bottom line- I'm dead, and I won't care. They will just have to decide if I was a good person for themselves.

[julie w]

it is a concern but you can't put your life on hold just in case, I have asked my SO if something happens to me
to get rid of my clothes , she doesn't approve but knows where my clothes
are

[Tina B.]

My wife knows everything about me, and she knows where every things at. As for the rest of the world, they will just shake their heads, and say "Well that answers a lot of questions"
Tina B.

[Jason+]

With the exception of my two kids from my first marriage the people I really would worry about finding out already know. Most people that know me would be more worried that I was gone rather than what I was wearing at the time.