Outed After Death

[Cindi Johnson]

Other than my wife, who passed away some years back, neither my son nor my relatives have ever been told about my TG side. But come on!..., if it would surprise them then they are really, really blind. I think, for most of us, those who know us well might think something like "hum..., that doesn't surprise me at all."

When I was a young man stationed at a small air force base, an airman died unexpectedly and his clothing stash became a whispered topic by all in the mess hall. But I heard nobody say anything bad about him because of it. The circumstances suggested suicide, and I was left wondering to myself, why???

Maybe, just maybe,were we more open during our lives, more "out", the social stigma would be less and thus fewer of our younger sisters would choose suicide. But instead, we fret about being outed even after our death. In my opinion, that's tragic.

Cindi Johnson

[Cathytg]

I have thought about that. Fortunately, I have a loving and supportive wife who would deal with my left-overs.

But, before I was married, I had this same concern regarding my two kids. They would have had the job of cleaning out my house and I wondered what they would have thought and felt as they went though my fem stuff. They both knew but only in the abstract sense. I have never thought of myself as an island and the social web extends beyond the grave.

[Sally24]

I actually have a statement in my will requesting my epitaph to read "I told you I was sick". I always liked that one.

When I die, the people who are left to deal with whatever is involved in closing my estate..........I already have some novelty surprises in place now, for them to discover after I die.

Aren't we the devilish one! I love it!!

[Missy]

if i was to go every one would miss me but would not be shocked about my clothing or lifestyl for they already know along time ago they did not know when i got in a car wreak was wearing girl jeans panties and a bra undrer a sweetshirt was taking by ems to hospital and they cut shirt off then my bra i now know that if my wife did not know about me she would be hurt big time when she came to hospital she was very happy that i was not gone if she did not know she would be so shocked and by what the staff looking at her i do not keep anything for her i love her

[Frédérique]

Have you ever thought about what would happen if you should pass away suddenly? You know friends or family would find those cloths you have stanched, maybe you were en femme or underdressed at the time.
My question is, would finding you secret hurt someone? Do you care, as you would no longer be walking this earth?

[SIZE="2"]When I’m gone, I won’t care, but I often think about what someone’s reaction will be when they find my stash of femme clothes, shoes, and makeup, not to mention my folders full of writings (neatly typed up and legible, from here and other places). My images are also vulnerable to discovery by unsympathetic eyes – they are guaranteed to arch a few eyebrows! If I know the end is near, and I have the time and the energy, I’ll remove the evidence. But, since I have no legacy to spoil, few family members to shock, and nothing to lose, I may just leave everything in place and go "out" with a smile on my face…[/SIZE]

[sherri52]

I have already given my instructions at my funeral to dress me in a wedding gown. It is in my will and the dress in my closet. The only one I would hurt is my father who is in rough shape as we speak.

[Mitzi]

An acquaintance died of AIDS a few years back. He was married, I don't know whether he had any children.

His family insisted he acquired the HIV virus through a blood transfusion. Which very easily could have been the case, but of course people wondered.

So, even if it won't matter to us after our demise, our families will have to cope with the embarrassment of having our secret life outed.

Mitzi

[Aubrey Green]

Consider me selfish, but I'll be gone. It won't matter any more.

[Lorileah]

They will probably be saying "I told her that you can't text, put on pantyhose drink a latte and drive. At least the penguin in the passenger side survived"

I have thought about this. I don't believe in viewings and all that anyway but I would want everyone involved to say "hey she went out happy. Did you see the last photo shoot?" I would rather they tell me now than to whisper it later. I want to go out like Jan Murray said he would, the same way I came in, broke naked and with a nice lady

[Susieboots]

I've also thought about it a few times, I have no wish to upset my lovely wife who doesn't really know, though I do have a feeling she suspects and hasn't said anything, so in answer to another question I said to sell all my stuff and get some money. I'm sure my "small" collection of boots can get something on fleabay. She might even keep a pair or two, she's already had 2 pairs from me!

Susie xx

[kimdl93]

its not an issue if I am survived by my wife - she's fully supportive. I've always hoped I'd outlive my friends and siblings - because I hate the thought of them talking about me after my death!!!!

[hot_leah]

thankfully my wife would cover that up

[Sarah_GG]

The last time this subject came up, someone wrote that they'd got all their stash boxed up and with a note on each one stating 'This box is the property of ........' (insert name of lifelong enemy)!

Well, it made me laugh!

[Jocelyn Quivers]

First and foremost I would not worry too much because I would be dead.

However this thread reminds me I need to tell my wife what to do with all of my clothes, pictures, and Intellectual Properties pertaining to "Jocelyn Quivers".

Just in case something unfortunate were to happen to me all of a sudden.

[Charleen]

Nah, ain't worried about it.

[Katesback]

Some people think I am a bit edgy. Some people think I am worse....not my problem. I am however no nonsense.

Part of the reason I dont listen to dreamers and whiners for long is because of my past, what I have lived, and the simple fact is you either live your dream or dont. If you dont you might fall into the story below!

Here is a link http://www.flickr.com/photos/27063499@N04/2832566087/ to a picture of me sitting at a funeral for Dave. Dave was a man I never met.....but I did know the girl named Katie. Apparently she fell down her stairs and broke her neck and was found dead..........though I KNEW Katie. She was a casualty so many trans people fall to!!

In the picture I was crying because I realized that at the funeral Katies existance was totally denied. The girl NEVER will ever go down in any history except for a few peoples memories. She NEVER existed!!!!!!!! To honor the families wishes we didnt mention anything about Katie.

Dave or Katie was the sort of person with a ton of dreams but for 1000 reason or excuses she did not make the decision to live her dream.

I cant tell you how terrible it was to go to this funeral. It was one of the saddest things I have ever done! Perhaps now you have a unique insight as to why I am so outspoken and no nonsense.

LIVE YOUR DREAM and I MEAN IT.

[Melinda G]

Most healthy people have various sexual interests besides just simple procreation. Most adults probably are hiding something. If you go into any adult sex shop, and look at all the "toys", whips, chains, restraints, paddles, gags, books, videos, etc, someone is buying that stuff, or the stores would soon be out of business. There are a lot worse things to be found by the next of kin, than womens clothes.

In my own case, after 30 years of being single, the kids might think one of my girlfriends left the stuff. Naaahh. Too much stuff. No woman would leave all this stuff behind.

[t-girlxsophie]

Have had many a Discussion with my Wife on this subject,We have thought of me being buried as Sophie,then totally backtracking.

My Son,Parents and some close family know I dress,but not to what extent,or even know I have Life as Sophie.So would think that Seeing me at rest dressed up may be too much of a shock.

Thinking that maybe being Underdressed,or putting my favourite outfit in with me could be a compromise,either way I feel that Sophie MUST be with me in some shape or form.

[AmberLynn]

I like many have given thought to this. I plan to be buried as amber and further more have a video will explaining why I'm being buried as amber,what my life was on both side's of the ball so to speak and ask that they honer my wishes. though that is only if i decied to not fully come out to my freinds and family before i die.

[Carly D.]

I wanted to have something in my tote box (stash) of clothes to explain both in case I died suddenly and in case my clothes were found by accident.. I had a "manifest" type of thing and it was huge.. Maybe fifty pages front and back.. I got stuff from all over the web, explaining everyones take on cross dressing (felt like Dr. Phil meets Jerry Springer and anything in between). I was just sure it was perfect.. Then one day I sat down to read it and got bored before the first page.. I thought what garbage.. And shreded most of it.. Then a few weeks later shreded the rest.. So my answer to do I care what anyone will think if I die suddenly is hopefully it will explain a lot.. without any words.. I might try to leave my myspace address, because it is exactly like a diary.. I explain how I feel from every aspect and while I don't try to explain why I do this...

[NathalieX66]

I wanted to have something in my tote box (stash) of clothes to explain both in case I died suddenly and in case my clothes were found by accident.. I had a "manifest" type of thing and it was huge.. Maybe fifty pages front and back.. ..

I was thinking of doing the same thing.....but no 50-page manifesto, though.....just something simple like "Suprise, I'm a crossdresser.....have questions? here's a website.....Please donate my breast forms to the Susan Komen fund.

[Tranny Tee]

I came out to my Methodist minister brother for this very reason. It was fun watching his reaction, much more fun than having him find out after my demise.