Some night you have it..some nights you don't

[StaceyJane]

I just back from a late night trip to Walmart as Stacey. Now my faithful fans will recall my video of my first late night trip to Walmart that I made last week.

I felt so great and full of energy and confidence then. I had a lot of fun.

Well tonight I was back and right away things felt different. I could feel every eye in the store staring at me. I really wanted to avoid everyone and I thought " this is a bad idea" and I wanted to go home.

Then I remembered... this is what I've always wanted to do...go out in public as Stacey..In fact I keep on thinking about being Stacey fulltime....I can't let a few people looking at me in Walmart in the middle of the night keep me down.

So then I straightened up and started to look at blouse and their very weak skirt collection. I never did feel really good like I did last time but I didn't let fear chase me out of the store.

So I think I've made another small step.

[eluuzion]

Are you sure someone did not stick a "Kick Me" sign on your back as a prank? lol

It is funny how some days you feel you've "got it" and some days you feel like a bull in a china shop. Much of it has to do with your current self-esteem and ego-strength levels at the time. (which is unconsciously projected in "body language").

Regardless of the feedback, it is always exhilarating, eh?

[RhondaLynn]

I've had similar experiences with WalMarts. I guess it's the fact that all the staff are part-time and their shifts are constantly changed, so you probably encounter a different group of workers eacb timeyou go there.

You know, it's the customers that i've had my bad WalMart experiences with, not the workers. I can't really think of a worker-related incident, at least not one that comes to mind...

[IamSara]

I am glad you stuck with it. I am getting braver and braver myself. The more I go out as Sarah the better I feel about. I am sure I have been made most times but it is getting easier and easier and I care less and less.
Sarah

[tamarav]

[SIZE=4]Great point![/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Think about the overweight women who dread going out, or those that feel they are ugly or don't want others to see them. They have to go out to do things or have people help them do it, shopping etc.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]So when you overcome your fears and move on, you remove yourself from the victim category and become mainstream. It can be a very tough thing to overcome and I am very proud of you. Now on to the next adventures. [/SIZE]

[Ashley Allen]

Good for you Stacy. Ain't it funny how such a simple everyday thing can seem so scary. I felt the same way just going to the Subway shop the other night dressed up. Wierd huh... we'll get over it... baby step.. baby step... run... just be careful in the heels

[Teri Jean]

I know why this trip felt different, there was no film crew with the big lights and the que cards. LOL Really though, congrats.

Teri

[charlie]

Hello Stacey!
I think all things are like that. One night you go to Disneyland and it is magical and next time it is OK. Tough to think of Walmart being anything but ho hum any time, but I guess you had fun the first time. Try Nordstrums or Macy's next time. The sales people are trained to help no matter what, the clothes are all better (even if you can't afford them) and the clientele is better. I also liked Forever 21. Great staff, good selection and cheaper clothes.

[Melinda G]

Trust me. Nobody cares what you look like at Wal-Mart.

[sherri52]

Have confidence in yourself and your day will go much smoother.

[Katie1234]

great job (going out with courage)

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I just back from a late night trip to Walmart as Stacey. Now my faithful fans will recall my video of my first late night trip to Walmart that I made last week.

I felt so great and full of energy and confidence then. I had a lot of fun.

Well tonight I was back and right away things felt different. I could feel every eye in the store staring at me. I really wanted to avoid everyone and I thought " this is a bad idea" and I wanted to go home.

Then I remembered... this is what I've always wanted to do...go out in public as Stacey..In fact I keep on thinking about being Stacey fulltime....I can't let a few people looking at me in Walmart in the middle of the night keep me down.

So then I straightened up and started to look at blouse and their very weak skirt collection. I never did feel really good like I did last time but I didn't let fear chase me out of the store.

So I think I've made another small step.

Stacey...this had happened to me many many times in my "arc", from the good nites leading to bad nites, to the thinking of transitioning, to the transitioning..oops...i guess i took one to many steps....

kidding aside...learning to love yourself and to feel comfortable wherever you go is constant work in progress outside of a dangerous situation, whichis quite rare if you are careful, nothing bad can ever ever happen..things you don't like and events that make you feel uncomfortable are moments in time that are learning experiences...do what you feel is right for you and the rest will come in time.....very few people can do new things and feel confident all the time...i look at it that it's a terrific thing that the first time you went out that you felt great!

[ReineD]

Sorry to speak of my SO's experiences, but since she's not here much, I'll just go ahead.

My SO goes out quite a bit. She's been doing this for some years now. She once told me that she trusted her instincts and if something didn't feel right, she wouldn't question it and she would just go home. She knew that there would always be another time. Still today if we're out and looking for a place to eat, for example, we'll trust whether the vibes of one place are more comfortable to us than another, and we'll go with it.

In time it will all fall into place but for now if ever you don't feel comfortable being in a certain place, just listen to your gut feelings and don't be hard on yourself. Your intuition is keener than you know.

[lee in a skirt]

This is part of the reason why I dont go out dressed as I dont want the confrontation or to be recognised. I also just like the clothes and therefore dont bother with the wigs and stuff as i am a man end of, which means if i went out id certainly get trouble.

[PatriciaT]

Things usually go very well with me when I am out en femme but I certainly have those bad moments.

A few things to keep in mind. Smile as pleasently as you can. Sometimes I go out when I am a bit stressed out from work or the daily routine. A glance in the mirror shows this look, usually a scowl. Try to avoid this.

They style you dress up in is important. If you get a clothing or color mismatch you can really stick out and look clownish. I find that the more feminine my style is,　in keeping up　more or less with such a style in fashion, the more success I have. Somehwhat brghter colors seems to help and pink is a disarming color. If I look soft and feminine in terms of dress people seem to accept me more.

One thought is that a　lot of GGs where rather masculine style clothing and look a bit masculine. If a male does that, it would seem that he might tend to stick out as somewhat masculine.

I look upon dressing as a kind of camoflage. You can disguise a structure to look like something it is not,　using ever trikc to makle it look like the object you want it to look like. I think with considerable care it is possible to disguise the male appearance to look feminine, avoidng any type of clothing remotely masculine as much as possible, and sticking to the ultimate feminie look. I did this this evening and had a great time.

[Rianna Humble]

I just back from a late night trip to Walmart as Stacey. Now my faithful fans will recall my video of my first late night trip to Walmart that I made last week.

I felt so great and full of energy and confidence then. I had a lot of fun.

Glad the first one went so well

Well tonight I was back and right away things felt different. I could feel every eye in the store staring at me. I really wanted to avoid everyone and I thought " this is a bad idea" and I wanted to go home.

Then I remembered... this is what I've always wanted to do...go out in public as Stacey..In fact I keep on thinking about being Stacey full time....I can't let a few people looking at me in Walmart in the middle of the night keep me down.

Good for you, girl! I have had a similar feeling sometimes when I go to Asda (the UK arm of Walmart), but like you I won't give in to it.

So then I straightened up and started to look at blouse and their very weak skirt collection. I never did feel really good like I did last time but I didn't let fear chase me out of the store.

Way to go! Reine is right that we must be ready to listen to our instincts, but that is not the same as letting ourselves be dominated by fear.

So I think I've made another small step.

Today you made a big step because you realised that you have the right to be yourself.

[Andy66]

I guess it's sort of like having a "bad hair day," huh? Don't worry, better days are ahead.

Please don't assume the worst if people look at you. I LOVE it when crossdressers come into my WalMart.

[gigiluv]

That title reminds me of a scene from "Little Big Man" with Dustin Hoffman, and Chief Dan George.

George's character goes to the holy mountain to lay on the grass and die, being transported to the great spirit. He lays there for a long time with his eyes closed and a rain drop hits him in forehead.

He opens his eyes and says something about maybe it's not a good day to die then says "Sometimes the magic works; sometimes it doesn't."

I guess it is the same way with CDs