my wife once told me that, in her experience, a man puts each relationship he has into a separate compartment and that way he can rationalise dumping girlfriends and having extra-marital relationships. but for women all relationships were part of a developing and inter-active continuum. well, she didn't use those exact words, but you know what I mean. the word 'selfish' came into it somewhere along the line, as I recall.
certainly I see my CD-ing as a separate relationship that has nothing to do with my wife and family, and I always wanted to keep them apart from it, isolated from it, and not to interfere with it. It only began to interfere with my marriage when my wife insisted it should become an issue.
does anyone else have a similar experience?