separate compartments

[crispy]

my wife once told me that, in her experience, a man puts each relationship he has into a separate compartment and that way he can rationalise dumping girlfriends and having extra-marital relationships. but for women all relationships were part of a developing and inter-active continuum. well, she didn't use those exact words, but you know what I mean. the word 'selfish' came into it somewhere along the line, as I recall.

certainly I see my CD-ing as a separate relationship that has nothing to do with my wife and family, and I always wanted to keep them apart from it, isolated from it, and not to interfere with it. It only began to interfere with my marriage when my wife insisted it should become an issue.

does anyone else have a similar experience?

[Jamie M]

My cd-ing was only a seperate issue due to the fact that kelly didn't want to be any part of it in the beginning . Like many SO's, to start off with in her eye's it was something that I did and she didn't really want to know about it .

As time passed understanding and acceptance grew and now she is very much a part of it and i welcome kelly into julia's life. So to answer your question , no , i'm afriad my CD-ing is a central part of my reltionship with my wife and i think it's a very important one as it is a central part of me .

[Wendy me]

well crispy for a long time even before i understood that i was not crazy or sick because of what i was compelled to do...i kept it appart from my wife for shure by the way i tryed to hide it from me as well.....over the years as things progressed my wife cought on to something was going on here ....then when she knew enough she started with threats and demands trying to get this thing to go away ....over a while i have realy come to terms with who and what i am ...happy...so now realizing that i can be me most of the time ...seeing soon we will be bouth be retired ...what now??? slam the door shut no thats so not it ...so i am trying to bring my dressing out to her so we can bouth reach a level of understanding....small steps we all have heard that but now i am yes doing them small steps but a lot more of them and a lot quicker......
see as you get frether in a relationship comes the time when things just need to progress....because if thay don't then you just might go backwards......

[FionaAlexis]

Its an interesting question.

I guess my transgender side is separate from my family side but I think that is more my partner's wish to keep removed from this aspect of my life as it is my discomfort with sharing it - or my wish to segregate it. In fact I'm quite happy to talk about it.

On your wife's view of women v men - I think there was a survey here recently of extra marital relationships - and from memory, while the result was weighted towards men, it wasn't a great as might be expected. And certainly one of the categories of men who were likely to have extra marital affairs was as she described.

Fiona xx

[Natalie x]

From what's been written so far, it seems that it is the wives/partners/family/friends who are deciding to force the issue and make the crossdressing something that has to be outside the relationship. Maybe I'm missing something here, but if we are trying to be more feminine, and it is us who are willing to be open about ourselves, what are the wives/partners/family/friends trying to be?

[gennee]

Crispy:

My cding is separate from the rest of my life. Haven't told my family or friends and I'm happy with decision to come out to myself. Cding has added something to my life.

Gennee