Going out curbed by isolation

[Rachel2000]

Just wondering how many girls would actually go out dressed if they could easily travel to another town?

While Canada is a great country, most cities are extremely isolated from one another (aside from the GTA-Greater Toronto Area) and I'm sure it would be much easier if you could just hop over to the next town to go out dressed. I live in a community of 125,000 people and the closest city is hours away across the border in Minnesota.

I envy the girls in the USA because in most cases, the next town is just a hop, skip and a jump away.

While I have the rare luxury of being on the road about half the year, many do not. It was actually these trips that gave me the confidence go out in my own community - which I have only done a couple of times and hesitate to do again as I work closely with many community & municipal leaders here.

I had a conversation with my wife about this earlier and just thought I would put it out there.

Rachel

[Persephone]

It certainly does look like there are a lot of open spaces up in your area! It is probably extremely beautiful, but I can understand your feelings.

Perhaps you and your wife can consider attending some of the crossdressing weekends in places like Eureka Springs, Arkansas or maybe one of the crossdressing cruises. Such events could be something to look forward to and could provide some enjoyable "away time" for both of you.

[Rachel2000]

It certainly does look like there are a lot of open spaces up in your area! It is probably extremely beautiful, but I can understand your feelings.

It is beautiful here - in the summer. In fact if seclusion is what
you are looking for, there is no better place in the world. I can't
tell you how many times I've taken my camper and boat,
driven to a small lake and spent most of the weekdays
as Rachel and had the entire lake to myself.
Weekends are an entirely different story lol.

I was just wondering how many would like to out into
the general population but feel trapped by the isolation.


I don't think my wife is quite ready to attend any
crossdressing events in the near future as it took almost 2
decades for both of us to accept my dressing and I'm quite
thankful for that in itself.

[gabimartini]

I'm sorry, Rachel, but I have to disagree. I feel we are the sole responsible ones for curbing our "going out". And while we do, we also tend to look for excuses so that we don't feel so bad for being chicken.

Don't get me wrong, I think your concern is genuine, as the odds of bumping into someone you know are higher in a smaller place. However, the city I currently call home is also home to other 12 million people, and even then I still don't feel entirely comfortable going out. I always think I'll run into a neighbor, a friend, a cousin, a co-worker, etc!

If only I could move to San Francisco...

My point is, although environment limitations may exist (small community, isolated town, etc), and may be valid, the most powerful (and crippling) limits are created inside our own minds.

My two cents.

[bron]

Your all so lucky to be close to a city.....i live in the most isolated town in Australia. The nearest town is 400 miles south..the nearest city is 1500 miles south and 1600 miles north to the next nearest city. So its a bit lonely for me. Bron

[TommiTN]

My CD activities are somewhat cramped by my locale and its culture. I live in a typical small southern town, a pretty close knit community where most everybody knows everybody else, and everybody else's "bidniz". I do travel to nearby larger cities for the occasional weekend or girl's night out. I'd move if I could but it's not an option right now.

[Kerigirl2009]

I have only gone out twice completely dressed as Keri but the farthest I have gone from home was about 20 miles. I guess for me it is not the fear of being seen by someone who knows me while I am dressed feminine it is that I don't want my neighbors seeing me and looking at my Family differently and possibly talking to my children.

So maybe someday I will go out again

[Sarah Doepner]

Been there, done that still wear that cute tee shirt. For many years I've only gone out dressed en femme in other cities. During the last year I've gotten involved in the development of a local Tri-Ess chapter and now I have expanded my range to the inside of another local building, with occasional drives home after the meetings. In doing this I've found another local group that has meetings and outings on a regular basis and one of these days I intend to join in there.

Going out is a common desire and the fear of being outted without being ready, even more common. We are careful to keep our secret, possibly to a fault while we wait for family and the rest of society to catch up with us. I hope that happens, but I'm afraid we will have to drag major parts of society to join us kicking and screaming all the way. And family may be even more complicated than society in general.

In the meantime, and until you can get out closer to home, please use the forum and any other support you have to know you have friends who understand.

[wearingtanpantyhose]

Sometimes, I get my fix by just being outside. I just came in from picking up sticks in our woods while wearing a denim skirt, flannel shirt, hose and mud boots. I even took the time to do my makeup nice and pretty and put on a little perfume. It felt wonderful feeling the breeze against my legs and just being somewhere else than inside. It was especially nice because it's been such a long, cold winter.

[sterling12]

Now you have me guessing, but I wonder how many Canadians do come down here to Florida for The Exact Purpose you mentioned. Six Months as a "Snowbird," and you could feel rather secure, unless you hung around The Canadian-American Club En femme!

I do know of at least a couple of Canadian Gals who come down here on vacation every winter to specifically dress, and they have a heck of a time! Most of Life's Problems aren't insurmountable, you just haven't thought of a good solution quite yet.

Maybe, if your "On The Road" six months a year? Perhaps a "Sales Territory" in The States? Probably not possible, but you got to "Think outside The Box." Good Luck! I'll tell Monique, Caroline, and Zoe "Hello" for you at my Tri-Ess Meeting tomorrow Night. Think they'll be going home, starting in April. Not much Ice Fishing down here, but I think they enjoy themselves.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[kristinacd55]

Your all so lucky to be close to a city.....i live in the most isolated town in Australia. The nearest town is 400 miles south..the nearest city is 1500 miles south and 1600 miles north to the next nearest city. So its a bit lonely for me. Bron

Wow, now THAT's isolation!
Here in NJ, there's towns & cities everywhere you turn so there's no problems with isolation. Now actually going out dressed is another matter completely.

[Ashley Allen]

Yah I don't think the size of the community matters. It's just easier to go out when you know there is almost no chance of running into someone that knows you... this of course would be a mute point if one would just came out... not there yet, may never be there....

I think it's less about having to confront a friend and more about how close the stones would hit to my glass house, thrown by inconsiderate, rude, hateful people. They do exist.

[tinalynn]

Its very much friends, co-workers, and neighbors that keep me from going out around home. I'll walk around (inside) my home while dressed without too much worry, and I go out freely (for the most part) when I travel. But I'd rather not put my job in jeopardy because I had to wear a skirt (especially in this economy), so no outings around home for me...

[SuzanneS]

Just wondering how many girls would actually go out dressed if they could easily travel to another town?

Rachel

I have gone out a few times on a drive, (most recently about a 150 mile drive round trip), but didn't feel comfortable getting up close and talking to anyone. The nearest town to me is 7 miles, the nearest shopping center is 16 miles and the nearest city that I still may see someone I know in is about 50 miles. I love getting out dressed, and still want to get out and be around someone else besides myself while dressed(just too scared!), but I'd probably have to go 150 miles one way before I felt pretty confident that I wasn't going to run into anyone that I knew. I have noticed that the farther I drive, it seems that I am not so worried about who may see me!

Suzanne

[Rachel2000]

Thanks for all the responses. Please keep them coming. Hopefully one day soon society will fully accept us for what we are and the secrecy can become a thing of the past.

Rachel

[Magickman]

"I'm sure it would be much easier if you could just hop over to the next town to go out dressed. I live in a community of 125,000 people and the closest city is hours away across the border in Minnesota."

I live in Minnesota. Downtown Minnesota, the Minneapolis-- St. Paul metroplex. This ia metropolitan area of 3 million people, but I never see men who are crossdressed. I venture out in a skirt, tights, and heels, myself. I feel like I am the only one, though.

[Rachel2000]

Your all so lucky to be close to a city.....i live in the most isolated town in Australia. The nearest town is 400 miles south..the nearest city is 1500 miles south and 1600 miles north to the next nearest city. So its a bit lonely for me. Bron

Wow! I thought I was isolated but you've got me beat by about half a country. That has got to be really tough.

[Veronica Nowakowski]

I live in a metropolitan area, Detroit. Now if I go to the next town over, I'm just as likely to see someone I know. It's only a hop, skip, and a jump for me, but it's also a hop, skip, and a jump for everyone else and I see people I know all over. I can go a few towns over and that usually takes care of it, but perhaps you'll feel a bit better knowing it's not as easy as you thought for everyone else.