My stomach is in knots this morning... I've been feeling better about myself and am being more accepting of who I am (whoever that may be). Only two of my close friends, who are very accepting, know what I am going through. Yesterday though, I came out to a good friend who I was afraid of losing. He mentioned to me last week that one of his friends transitioned and he was surprised but acted cool about it.
So yesterday, I bit the bullet and while not expressly saying what I am going through, I alluded to it as I asked if he would be able to put me in touch with his TG friend. Unfortunately his friend is four hours away in Austin so it's kind of difficult to grab coffee and chat... but who knows. But now my friend knows and I am pretty sure he's cool about it although I bet he shat bricks when he found out :-P I was super nervous asking him and actually backed out at first, but went through with it in the end.
It's a small step but it was very scary lol.
On a related note, as I said I am starting to be more accepting of myself, and right now I've spent the last two days fully in girl mode and later today I'm going to have to go back to guy mode and get out of the house, spend time with family and go to school. I'm trying to make sure I don't fall back into a depression or angry state where I reject who I am and go back to being a guy. I feel it deep inside that I am not this man I pretend to be but I have a habit of getting scared and running back to being that guy. Does anyone have any advice? I've been doing good and I don't want to fall back...