Why?

[adrienner99]

Anyone care to offer their thoughts on we men spend a fortune on dresses, makeup, wigs and high heels, and often go to great lengths to hide our compulsion to dress up like girls from everyone, even our closest friends?

In short, why do you crossdress?

Every theory I've read was written by a psychologist--who does not dress. Scientists can study us all they want, but I prefer simply to ask other CDs.

"It makes me feel good," is a common answer. But I think it goes deeper than that.

Why do you? What drives this obsession for you?

[AmberLynn]

first draw a 40 ft circle and a single grain of sand. now throw the grain into the circle,you did that...great there's one of a hundred million answer's, im not being snoody there's litterly millions of answer's. Here is mine

Why do I dress,I dress because deep down I feel out of place. I feel a deep set of emotion's that i can not explain being drab. When im dressed i feel a deep communication with my true self, My fem self. I know that before my mom become pregnant with me she miscarried "a boy" I was somehow conceived 2 weeks after the miscarry. I have at time's wondered if that since she became pregnant with me so quickly that her body did not have time to set up the right x/y genies causing me to be a boy physically and a girl mentally. cause even though i am heavy set i have larger peck's/breast then the average male. that is my reason,i hope you get a lot of good answer's and i hope i did not come off as a with my circle joke

[ellenwannabe]

I have CDed for over 50 years to one degree or another and feel it is a part of me - every day I dress from the waist down in womens clothes that are not too feminine, that is say I wear womens socks and sneaks and short shorts and bikini panties in the warm weather and pantyhose with my sweetheart jeans in the cooler weather - I have only shopped in the womens dept. for the past 30 years and wouldn't know what male sizes to buy anymore - I love tight fittting clothing - I just feel so natural in womens clothing and I just love it everyday - just me - Elen

[jenna_woods]

I just feel so natural in womens clothing , its hard to imagaine not buying women's things to wear,

[Staci G]

Why not! Just kidding. When I am dressed I feel complete. I believe I should have been a girl with all my heart. I have no interest in men I just have the feminine ways. It has been this way all my life and I have no Idea why it is so. I only know that when I am dressed (and I don't mean underdressed or just partly dressed) complete with makeup wig, the works I feel like this is who I am and I feel liberated. When I go without dressing I get depressed like I am being stifled or imprisoned. So to answer your question in a few words "it feels right". When I was young I thought it was sexual but as I got older I realized EVERYTHING was sexual when I was younger.

[Fohaley]

I've got a few girl friends that I go out with and talk to about it. We'll go out to the mall and look at clothes and have fun. When I go out with them I feel like I can relax and say whatever I want because it's who I am. I like the pretty colors and different patterns. Every single time I express something even remotely girly I get a weird reaction from a lot of people who I'd call friends. I know the majority of the population wouldn't understand.

You can explain it in terms of the way people dress that don't cross dress I guess. Why do some people to prefer to wear polos, suits, or button down shirts when other prefer to wear t-shirts, tank tops, and shorts. It's just what they feel more expresses themselves more and it makes them feel more comfortable. I feel like I am more myself when I dress. I have more "fem" thoughts than the regular guy as most of the people here could probably attest to and things like that are just not culturally acceptable. I commonly wish I was a chick and that it'd be a lot easier for me to be a chick but that's never going to happen so I do what I can. If there were a button to change me into a 100% chick then I'd do it in a heart beat but the fact remains that I'm a guy and because of this I hide the fact that I dress from the majority of the people I know because it is a non-cultural thing in this day and age.

[lavistaa62]

I went to buy new pants the other day- male dress pants as it happens. So I'm poking through the pile when a SA comes over to ask what size I'm looking for and I answered reflexively- 14R. Do you have any? Took me a moment to catch myself...

[Melinda G]

It turns me on!

It's fun to become someone else for a day.

It takes my breath away, to look in the mirror, and see a good looking woman, showing lots of leg.

It turns me on to dress the way women used to dress, before the Ellen Degenerate look became acceptable.

It feels great.

Womens clothes are thinner and lighter than mens clothes. Same for the shoes.

Dressing up gives me more variety and enjoyment than having a girlfriend.

So many reasons, so little time.

[Tina B.]

I've been dressing for around 60 years, as a small child when most boys think girls are icky, I preferred to play with girls, Coloring, playing house, and especially dress up, not in girls clothes necessarily, but old costumes of all kinds. And if I could create a story line that worked, maybe a skirt now and then. I loved hop Scotch, and four square ( a game played with a square on the ground, and a large ball that you had to put in one of the squares) that was played mostly by the girls. Even when I got older and all the men where watching sports on TV, I would wind up in the dining room or kitchen, where the women where gathered talking.
As others have said, dressing does not make me happy, it makes me feel complete, and feeling complete, now that makes me happy.
That's why I dress. Now if you ask why I started, or why I am this way, then I will have to admit after all this years, I still have no idea, and no longer care, I just know thats the way I am.
Tina B.

[RADER]

Dressing relaxes me, I feal content. Like today, It's my birthady, Well there
will people comming over etc. Lots of hugg's all in good fath, But I have to
go bra-less today. Can't risk the grandaughter fealing a strap on the back.
And you know a 15 year old would notice that.
So today I will be not compleatly underdressed. Rader

[Ruth]

It's easy to be flippant and say: "It's just because I like it"; or "Because it feels good."... but basically when you try to dig deeper there isn't really any answer that works better than those first two.
And when you get into individual motivations for why something feels good, then you end up with one unique explanation for each individual CDer, and then you aren't any further on, are you.
So, just enjoy it if you do.

[BRANDYJ]

Among many other theories about why I cross dress... Part of it is to emulate what I have a deep admiration and respect for. To for a time, look and act like what I admire. To feel what it must be like.
The simple answer is, I'm compelled to do it and have for many years.

[DAVIDA]

I have no idea why.
It has just always been.

[suzy1]

A very good question that. I have given it a lot of thought over the years, like most of us I guess. I think that part of it, for me is that I love women so much that being with women is not enough, I wont to get inside there skin, to be one in other words. I have always thought that I am a lesbian trapped in a mans body. But then, what the heck! I just enjoy my life and that’s all that counts for me.

SUZY

[eileendover]

I've always wanted to see what it was like in the "Girls Only" club of clothing and makeup and hair and all the other activities that girls get to do, and that guys are trained to think are just plain silly.

Plus, in addition to the obvious biological differences between males and females, a large part of the attraction that guys have towards girls is based on these extra cultural ingredients. So CDing gives me the chance to explore and experiment with these additional gender cues, and to see if I can learn how to apply these to myself. I'm creating my twin sister.

[PatriciaT]

[QUOTE=Staci G;2094215]Why not! Just kidding. When I am dressed I feel complete. I believe I should have been a girl with all my heart. I have no interest in men I just have the feminine ways. It has been this way all my life and I have no Idea why it is so. I only know that when I am dressed (and I don't mean underdressed or just partly dressed) complete with makeup wig, the works I feel like this is who I am and I feel liberated. When I go without dressing I get depressed like I am being stifled or imprisoned. So to answer your question in a few words "it feels right".

Right on! This is one of the closests descriptions I have come across to express why I crossdress. I could add that I feel like a dork when I am in drab and am very uncomfortable.

[Imogen_Mann]

Why do I dress ?

Why do I do anything ? For fun ? For money ? for the sheer hell of it ? Probably all of those and a hundred other reasons, but I can't tell you why exactly. I'd need to know why I work where I do, why I listen to Radio 2, why I drive my particular car and why I do anything that I do... It's me, it's who I am, it's who I've become over the last 40 years.
Every decision, every experience, every thought, emotion or distress has led me to being the person that stands before you now (so to speak).

Maybe there is a common factor, one decisive turning point for us all, but you'd be looking for very small fish in a very BIG ocean if you tried to find out what it was.

[Sarah_GG]

Speaking on behalf of my SO (once again!)...

When my SO was a baby his mother suffered postnatal depression. Consequently she was not 'there' for him, didn't make eye contact and, he believes, found it difficult to bond (as much as she absolutely loved him). Through therapy he finally arrived at an explanation that he could relate to... that he created his own 'mother'.

SO also remembers being dressed up in an apron and mobcap at about three years old and getting lots of attention from an aunt and his mother as he pretended to be 'the maid'.

Learning to keep the feelings of femininity secret came when (he believes) his father probably chastised his mother for "mollycoddling the boy" when he was around the same age and was finally having some much longed-for attention from his (by now recovered) mother.

I don't know if that's the sort of 'why' you were looking for?

ps I think (as Jayme has said above) that he does for the same reason that he is right-handed, brown-eyed, likes sailing... he just does!

[Laura Evans]

If and when you get your answer please let me know in the mean time I am getting dressed and going shopping

[TxKimberly]

Simple - I'm Nucking Futs! As long as I'm reasonably happy being Nucking Futs, I don't figure it's a problem.
Now that that's settled, anyone know where I left my marbles?

[minalost]

It’s definitely one of the hardest questions to answer. I think that’s because as we move on in life the answer changes.

When I first got the urge (grade school) I’m sure I didn’t have an answer. It was something I needed/wanted to do, no thought required.

As a young adult (I’m talking teens and 20s here) I’m sure it was a fetish thing; definite sexual component. In my 30s and early 40s it was almost more of a habit than anything else: this is something I’ve always done, I enjoy it, and I’m going to continue. I’m sure that’s one reason I was able to stop dressing for most of my 40s. I couldn’t think of a good reason to continue, and I had a lot of reasons not to.

Now in my 50s I’ve made a conscious decision to start dressing again and I’ve actually thought about why and here are my answers (there are more than one): its fun. It makes me feel good. I like the look and feel of women’s clothing much more than men’s. It let’s me escape (in my own mind anyway) from the traditional male role, a role I’ve never liked. Finally, it’s a compulsion that I don’t have a lot of control over. Oh, I’ve proven to myself that I can resist the urge, but I’ve also proven that the compulsion doesn’t go away, and that I am a less happy person if I don’t “give in” every once in a while.

In the 7 years I didn’t crossdress I felt something was missing from my life, something I’ve always enjoyed, in spite of all the anxiety and possible pitfalls that go along with doing something so unaccepted by mainstream society. The fact is that a day didn’t go by that I didn’t think about crossdressing. The fact that I didn’t crossdress once in 7 years is truly amazing to me. What’s equally amazing is that I didn’t go nuts!

The bottom line: I still don't really know!

Wow, sorry for the long winded answer, but I wanted my response to be as complete as possible.

[StaceyJane]

I crossdress because I've always wanted to be a girl.
Not only does it make me feel good, since I've come to accept myself more, it really is a lot of fun.

[suchacutie]

For 55 years I was a guy, I thought. Then we found that a part of me is feminine. How can I not find out who she is? What is clear is that she has always been a part of me and if I don't find out what that means I'm denying part of myself.

So, even though it is incredibly difficult, time consuming, scary, and socially unacceptable, my wife is teaching Tina what it takes to be a girl, and we are letting Tina figure out how to use/process/present that information. It's fascinating to find out a part of yourself you never understood!

tina

[t-girlxsophie]

Been asked this question so many times,and I dont think iv'e answered it the same way twice.

I guess in the early days it was a comfort to me,I was bullied when younger,but as I grew older I was just attracted to the pretty colours,fabrics etc and I love the feeling of wearing nice clothes,I feel much Calmer too when dressed,and my wife says that I am much more attentive and caring when Sophie

I just love everything about this side of me and couldn't envisige my life without it.It is by far the biggest part of me

[Stacy L]

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The truth is, I really don't have the slightest idea why I dress or want to dress in womens clothes.
If anyone ever figures it out please tell me.



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