Why?

[kellycan27]

It was interesting reading through this thread, but I am no more enlightened as I was in the beginning. Lol. If you gals can't agree on why you do this, can you imagine how hard it is for your SO's to understand?

The common explanations are: it makes me feel complete, it enables me to tap into my softer side, I love women so much I want to be one, I couldn't get a girlfriend so I made up my own, it feels good, I love the clothes, being a guy is boring, it is partly or all sexual for me, I'm making up for a lack of mothering or fathering, I grew up in a family of sisters ... and I'm sure I missed some.

This is what I don't get:

Once you do give yourselves permission to express the femininity that you so badly need to express, then why isn't it ever enough?

Why the constant need for more clothes, more shoes, more jewelry? Is it a preoccupation with beauty, more than femininity? How many of you are not satisfied with being a girl and instead you want to be a beautiful girl? I mean, we are all born with the attributes that we have and we can't change those. I can't change my chin, the shape of my nose, etc. It's as if you are after an impossible (not meaning to be insulting) ideal ... an ideal that many GGs would enjoy as well, only we don't go after it with nearly the same amount of gusto as you do? Most of us GGs do come to terms with how we look.

So again, once you do give yourselves permission to be your inner femme (of course, after a time of experimenting to learn how), why isn't this enough?

Nothing wrong with you nose or your chin. I think you're lovely Reine.

Kel

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="2"] It's sort of like a hobby too. There's a desire to get better at it and to excel if at all possible. The ultimate would be the confidence and the looks to pass pretty much under the radar anytime we wanted. So we can be out as males and females. That's a pretty cool ambition and a great hobby. I have other hobbies too in male mode. Now I need a hobby for female mode![/SIZE]

[Rachel2000]

Why do we crossdress? Because I believe we were hardwired that way at birth and nothing can change it.

Why do we hide it? Because generally speaking, society views it as unacceptable, shameful behavior and hiding it is often far easier than bearing the brunt of ridicule.

Just my 2 cents worth....

[Sweeterica]

Why? thats not easy to answer is it,like many of you say it just seems so right,i find it relaxing after a stressful day,its not because i want to become a woman physically if you know what i mean cos im very happy being a man,but for me it just seems a nice thing to transform into. Like a new world.

[DAVIDA]

If you gals can't agree on why you do this, can you imagine how hard it is for your SO's to understand?

Hi Reine!
Love you, BTW!

If it were not for Jean, I would still be very apprehensive about my dressing!
She is the one that helped me see that there is nothing wrong with me. I am who I am because of what I am.

Thanks for your participation and insite!

[kellycan27]

Why do we crossdress? Because I believe we were hardwired that way at birth and nothing can change it.

Why do we hide it? Because generally speaking, society views it as unacceptable, shameful behavior and hiding it is often far easier than bearing the brunt of ridicule.

Just my 2 cents worth....

I sort of have the notion that some of us feel that it's unacceptable,shameful ,and that it should be hidden from others, more so than society.

[aggi123]

I crossdress because I like to

I hide it less and less every day.

[Lexine]

This might be a cop out, but I posted this on the introduction I wrote today:

"Ever since I graduated high school I always thought that the boundaries between gender would be blurred even more when the internet arrived into the scene. People are able to pretend to be someone they're not and get away with it in multitudes of ways, with the question of identity often asked to be verified online. So I created a little sociological experiment where I created another me, represented by a photo of a long forgotten MTV VJ (Idalis DeLeon, if anyone's keeping tabs) and pretended I was her. The idea of blurring identity and gender fascinated me, not because I was consciously out to fool someone, but I was interested in the sociological impact it had. Mind you, this was more than a decade ago.

Fast-forward to today, I've begun experimenting on bringing this persona offline and into the real world and have already gotten some rather surprising mix of results. This cockamamie idea of putting on a new identity turned into me making my face completely feminine while changing the clothes that I usually wear to make myself more androgynous, all of this with the help of a close lady friend. I can't say that I will be trying to pass as a female 100%, though the idea intrigues me, and most of the time I'm quite comfortable with dressing up as a male, but would like to learn from people who have done much more than I."

My Cliff Notes answer is: I do this because I want to break people's perception of gender. That reason doesn't sound fun, but making people take a second look at me just to reassess their attitude is... to me at least!

[TxKimberly]

I sort of have the notion that some of us feel that it's unacceptable,shameful ,and that it should be hidden from others, more so than society.

Yeah, what she said!

[RachelZ]

I crossdress because it makes me feel good about myself. It makes me feel like the person I want to be instead of who I have to be. Dressing got me through some rough times in my life. When I'm in girl mode, I feel like I'm free.

[Rachel2000]

Why do we crossdress? Because I believe we were hardwired that way at birth and nothing can change it.

Why do we hide it? Because generally speaking, society views it as unacceptable, shameful behavior and hiding it is often far easier than bearing the brunt of ridicule.

Just my 2 cents worth....

I sort of have the notion that some of us feel that it's unacceptable,shameful ,and that it should be hidden from others, more so than society.

I can go with that as well.

[Soriya]

It started for me because my mother would dress me up and put makeup on my face, mainly because she always wanted a little girl but didn't get one. Part of it was an identity crisis of acceptance for me as I developed a lack of acceptance as a boy with her. She showed a different side of acceptance about me when she dressed me which I liked however that also did not last leaving with a feeling of lack of acceptance from everyone. When I started to dress years later, there were lots of personal gratifications I got out of it so now I am trying to find that out about me. Is it all related to an acceptance thing or do I really enjoy it for me?

[PretzelGirl]

Okay, I'll be the oddball. I want to do it, but can I explain the underlying feeling? I don't tend to think about why with things in life. It is part of my sanity to just accept and not question.

When I was explaining to my daughter where I felt I was on the transgender spectrum, I couldn't give her a real good answer. Why? Because I don't really think about it. I am happy. Isn't that enough?

[Samantha_Smile]

What drives me to crossdress?
To feel sexy and pretty, ofcourse. I think everyone deserves to feel that they look good and men don't get sexy/pretty clothes unless they are highly fashionable or (sorry to stereotype) gay.
Im a hetero fella, so I wear the old jeans/t-shirt combo nearly every day of my life.
So every now and again, (or a few times a week when the pink fog is lingering) I want to get dolled up, put on a little makeup, some heels and wear knickers, bra with forms and a cute dress. I like to smell pretty too, so I generally pinch a little of my girrlfriend's which I think is highly feminine smelling (Britney Spears Fantasy- if you want to know).

Catching myself in a mirror and taking pics is quite exciting knowing that 'its me in there'.

I can't explain it any further than that, it's just the feminine feeling I achieve from being dressed I guess... that's my drive.

[EnglishRose]

Why? To present in some token way how I feel. In some intervening period between puberty and now, I started getting turned on by dressing. That completely went away once I accepted the deeper reasons for dressing, and I started to accept that I'm somewhere close to the TS end of the scale. Working out what do do about it? that's the hard part.

[inhiding]

Im new to this board and new to even thinking about why, its just been impulsive for so long. Its a huge turn on for me for whatever weird reason. I have never been fully dressed up with make-up and a wig, Just recently got the courage to get heels. I love them by the way. Im very confused about why right now because its always been sexually impulsive and a fantasy. I would love to dress up with someone someday and do the full makup and hair thing but just not ready. Maybe then i will have some answers. This board is really opening my thought process though.

Thanks.

[Amanda Stubbs]

I'm approching 50 years this year since the earliest memory of dressing. I enjoyed it then and have done ever since, I still dont know why and after all those years I don't care why, I do it because I have to and want to I suppose.

[Abbey Lane]

I love to cross dress it releases the pressure of my work.I work better when I am fully dressed. Being at home I get that opportunity. I love the feel of silky panties. I love stockings and just getting dressed up. I just started to experience wigs and makeup and those two have really aroused me. But I enjoy it and this has been going on for many many years since age of 7-8 that I can remember.

[diannecourtney]

Loved Minalost's answer. I certainly don't have the history that she has but I absolutely love the few outfits I have and the household chores I carryout so I can wear them. As always missing the make-up and the wigs I wish I had.

[TGMarla]

Much of the way I feel about the whole thing was expressed by Rachel Morley. And that list that Reine put up? I feel elements of many (not all) of those as well. There is no one reason for this. It' really complicated even to us. And even when we have not landed on any conclusions as to why we do this, we are still compelled to to this, and we have to try and accept it in ourselves, lest it drive us crazy.

And to answer the question about why it seems it's never enough, I think it's the Imelda Marcos syndrome with me. A new dress is always such a thrill and a treat for me, and I have a difficult time not window shopping. Every new dress (or shoes, or whatever) is a new experience. For many crossdressers, the act of crossdressing brings with it a euphoria not often felt when not dressed. So naturally, one is drawn back to it over and over again.

And finally, I guess I could say that it's been so long a part of my life, I cannot really much remember ever not being a crossdresser. And now I don't know how to not be one, either. Now it's just a part of who and what I am.

[Freddy12]

I have been thinking about this a bunch today. I wish I could come up with a definitive answer. I can't. Some of the possibilities include:

1) I enjoy the feel of women's clothes - well, at least the ones that are significantly different from men's clothes. A pair of jeans feels like a pair of jeans, but panties - ah, how wonderful

2) I want to better know how it feels to be a woman. I wish I could be a woman.

3) To express who I am.

4) (and I'm not sure about this one) To be seen as pretty.

It's probably a mix of all these, and maybe some more.

[Karinsamatha]

For me it is because of a compulsion that occurred 5 or 6 years ago - involving a bra and other articles of clothing. That is when the floodgates opened and Karin emerged. Since that happening and when my head Finlay stopped spinning that I started to become a whole person. For many years prior to the event people have made comments that I was gay and didn't know it!! Little did any of us know there was a repressed woman in there.
I have become comfortable and happy with who I am now.

[Sharon michelle]

You're probably a crossdresser. Hah, never could figure it out so in order to learn more about it, I'll need another outfit. That's it, I quit. Okay, I don't mean it, maybe if I get some new shoes, the answer will come. Hmmmm, a new handbag to match and since we're thinking so hard, spring is here and you know what that means, new fashions!
Honestly, I gave up trying to understand it, and pretty much follow my heart. The shrinks have some goofy ideas that only confuse my little brain.
Shari

[Lucy_Bella]

I'll take a stab at it, although others may not agree this is how it works for me.

It's getting off easy by just saying it feels good, I think to get into it deeper the correct answer should be it makes you feel better. For those who struggle,fight it or simply just live in denial, when you finally give in , and we all do, you just feel good.. So yes it feels good to crossdress.

wHY i CROSSDRESS? I wish I knew for sure , there are many theories but none can be proven because so many of us live in the closet. Butthe biggest reason for all, is to get in touch with that Femme side many where denied in their youth . Some studies have been done but most were through open and Gay people who's desire were to become female and not so much on straight people due to the fact most are in the closet . Just something I read and that within it's self draws more confussion to the closet xdressing males for those who judge us.

Good post thanks .

[Lucy_Bella]

It was interesting reading through this thread, but I am no more enlightened as I was in the beginning. Lol. If you gals can't agree on why you do this, can you imagine how hard it is for your SO's to understand?

The common explanations are: it makes me feel complete, it enables me to tap into my softer side, I love women so much I want to be one, I couldn't get a girlfriend so I made up my own, it feels good, I love the clothes, being a guy is boring, it is partly or all sexual for me, I'm making up for a lack of mothering or fathering, I grew up in a family of sisters ... and I'm sure I missed some.

This is what I don't get:

Once you do give yourselves permission to express the femininity that you so badly need to express, then why isn't it ever enough?

Why the constant need for more clothes, more shoes, more jewelry? Is it a preoccupation with beauty, more than femininity? How many of you are not satisfied with being a girl and instead you want to be a beautiful girl? I mean, we are all born with the attributes that we have and we can't change those. I can't change my chin, the shape of my nose, etc. It's as if you are after an impossible (not meaning to be insulting) ideal ... an ideal that many GGs would enjoy as well, only we don't go after it with nearly the same amount of gusto as you do? Most of us GGs do come to terms with how we look.

So again, once you do give yourselves permission to be your inner femme (of course, after a time of experimenting to learn how), why isn't this enough?

Reine,
You are very correct in your assumption, many just do not understand the selfish attitude that so many of us get labled from our own reactions.

I sometimes ask myself , would I be a different person if I lost my eye sight or if I was bound to a wheel chair..? The point is some of us have other peoplein our lives that have even less understanding about what we ddo than ourselves , but support us more than we do ourselves...

The sad part of that last sentence is we don't get it until the door gets slammed shut on us.. We take and take and take but never think twice about what we are taking feeding our desires to complete the never ending and changing inner person that we claim we have.

It;s like living with a Ghost sometimes because for me this Ghost I feed all this attention to is nothing more than just that .. A ham a new toy every time it comes around and nothing going on in my life is more important...

Well that was how I use to be...I woke up...I hope others do before it's too late,,