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[Sweeterica]

We hear a lot of talk about the image of crossdressers with those outside our world,im wondering if some of it is due to the images you see of men that almost look panto like wearing over the top makeup,lipstick,excessively high heels and outfits that dont suit their age or build,what do you all think girls.Myself i like to dress as you would see any normal lady ie sensible skirts tops heels etc.I personally just dont like very high heels i dont look or feel right in them,nice pair of courts or 3inch heels my max.

[Staci G]

I am right there with you, I think sometimes we draw attention to ourselves by going over the top as you say. I too am a very conservative crossdresser, by that I mean I try to blend as much as I can as to not draw attention to myself. I like mid lenght or long skirts medium heels and a non revealing top as you can see in some of my picture posts. So yea sometime we bring about negitive attention but society had dictated we are all perverts and thats just wrong. That too will change

[msniki48]

Erica, YOu are right on target for those of us that would like to go out and be accepted by the masses. As in the real world though, i'm sure you have seen GG's that dress in a manner that make your head go 180. They are trying to make a statement. is that a good thing? i can't judge. But we have girls here that dress for many different reasons, and i would think that percentage wise....maybe only 15 to 20% of us go out at all, and may be 5 to 8% dress out all the time is desired. [these statistics are purely my thoughts]

Cross dressing in public with acceptance is a very new thing, when you think of how long there have been crossdressers here. the extravagant image of the female or theatrical image has been portrayed, much longer than the woman next door image...as far as the public's eye is concerned.

We are slowly changing minds and gaining acceptance, and i will do it with nude stockings and not fishnet!

i will do it with a knee length skirt and not a tube dress as this is what is age appropriate for me.


Hugs, and wear lipstick

[Chari]

Regardless of what you wear in either gal or guy mode, you should always be confident and comfortable in who you are! IMO, it is best to dress in age appropriate fashions for the event. Related to that, some feminine fashions have come from guy clothes - i.e. little boy shorts/panties, boyfriend sweaters/tops, business suits with neckties, narrow leg pants, and vests, heavy/bulky jewelry, to name a few- and that is OK! Sadly most societies have not accepted guys wearing dresses, skirts, high heels, and makeup.

[Dee2U]

I am throwing my opinion in with the majority. One should always dress for the occasion. Sure, go a little over the top if you are going out dancing but if you are out and about shopping or whatever, dress for the activity. I know that I am just a closet tg gal but I too believe that society views us in a negative way because of the stereotypes. I wish it were different and everyone could just 'do their own thing" but that's just wishful thinking....Dee

[Joanne f]

As far as i am concerned it is not up to me to judge on what anyone wants to wear , if you want acceptance then you must also learn to accept others for who they are .

[sherri52]

We must dress apropriately if we are to gain acceptance. When we go out we should dress our age and for the type of activity that we are doing. At home I dress the way I like which is much younger than my age, when going out I dress 20 yrs older

[Angie G]

If one can pull if off fine.if not they tone it down.It only looks good if it looks good.
Angie

[ellenwannabe]

I agree with you - Ellen

[Cassandra Lynn]

Yeah i'm with the majority here, everyday wear should be appropriate to the occasion. But for us unfortunately, it is even more of an issue. You see GGs who will wear very short skirts and stilettos as everyday wear and get away with it, but i think we should be wary of doing it ourselves. That doesn't mean we can't sex it up and get crazy for the night clubs though! mj (Cassie)

[AmberLynn]

when i read this
"im wondering if some of it is due to the images you see of men that almost look panto like wearing over the top makeup,lipstick,excessively high heels and outfits that dont suit their age or build"

My thought's go right to drag queens,and i think that's what most people that have no clue what a cross dresser is lump us with queens. I agree that some girl's go way to naughty or way to flashy on outing's but for the most part i think there looking for there 15 mins of fame "hence why Jerry is so popular for cross dresser's looking for attention and a audience that want's to see drama and rarities. Let's face it walmart,khols,jc pennys and many other's are not the place for ballet stilettos,leather mini's and halter's and at the same time formal gowns are probley not a great choice either. Im not saying there not fun to wear or cute just not for the soccer mom crowd thats usally out and about.

Just a clip note i want to add in,I have noticed that in the last few year's I rarely see a gg even in a skirt around here. for the most part it's jeans and a form fitting t shirt

[Leslie Langford]

...one step further and add that not only do I strive to dress to blend in when out en femme, I try to dress better than the average GG. In this respect, I'm a firm believer in the old Avis Rent-A-Car adage "When You're No. 2, You Have To Try Harder".

Nothing gives me more confidence walking through a mall or dealing with a female SA or GG than knowing that I am dressed in a far more "lady-like" manner than they typically are (dress, skirt, hose, heels etc. vs. their usual garb of pants, jeans, runners, and nondescript tops etc.) I find that any temptation to snicker or sneer at the likes of us for trying to enter "their" world is quickly deflated when they realize that the effort we make to express our inherent femininity and to present ourselves as ladies in the traditional sense far exceeds theirs in such a situation. I think that this goes a long way towards explaining why I have been treated with nothing but courtesy and respect by GG's when out and about, and also why female SA's seem to fall all over themselves trying to serve me when I am shopping in women's clothing stores, rather than avoid me.

Most GG's are intrigued rather than repelled by us when we present publicly in this manner, and they appreciate the effort we take in making ourselves as presentable as possible while dressing in a manner that is respectful to real women as opposed to appearing as a parody of them. I often have to stifle a chuckle when I find one or more SA's fussing over me when I am trying out various outfits in their fitting rooms, while largely ignoring the jogging pants/sweat top clad GG in the cubicle beside me who is also in need of service. I guess one could call this concept one of "paying it forward".

What really drove this point home for me was a recent incident when I sent some photos to a couple of ladies affiliated with a nearby Red Hat Society chapter who are considering letting me join them as a "special" member. One in particular was amazed at the way "Leslie" looked, and her reply said it all:

"... So Leslie, I have to admit that I am very curious about the process you go through to complete your female transformation. I have enough trouble getting myself together on a daily basis! Truly.

When I saw your pictures, my first thought was “Holy crap! I need to step up my game!!” You look fabulous. I can see why you are an excellent source for make up and fashion tips! While it’s fun to primp, it’s a whole different thing to create a convincing look – good enough to pass in public as a well groomed, attractive woman..."

'Nuff said...

[docrobbysherry]

With some GGs, it's NOT so much "AGE appropriate", as "FIGURE appropriate"!

I AGREE with them! If you've STILL GOT IT, flaunt it!

If u DON'T, cover it up!

[suchacutie]

Blending in is not exciting...it doesn't sell.

Why would the mainstream media be interested in the boringly normal heterosexual crossdresser/husband/father/ordinary Joe (or Josephine, as the case may be)? What sells is the excessive, the flamboyant, the risk-taking nonconformist, the exhibitionist, and anything else that they could sell as being on the fringe of society from their audience's perspective!

Can you imagine the yawn from an article about Tina having dinner with her girlfriend at home, watching a movie together, gossiping, enjoying a bottle of wine, maybe doing some crafts or cooking a bit together, and at the end of the night transforming back into dedicated husband and father? Somehow I don't see this selling newspapers!

Hence, if we want to change society we need to do it ourselves.

IMHO

tina

[AllieSF]

Actually, I am glad that there are so many variants of "us" out there. I believe that we always need the extremes to move the mass toward the center where most people are the most comfortable and society seems to function at its best. You need tree huggers to help us try to recycle and conserve more resources. If we did not have "them" where would our great recycling programs be today. The same applies to us dressers wanting to fit into the real world. The ones on the extreme end helps us who dress more stylishly be accepted and tolerated much quicker on that slow acceptance time scale. After seeing what they don't like, seeing someone who is closer to their perception of normal styles is so much easier and almost a relief for them. So, I never bash those that are really out there. I applaud them because they are the pioneers and make my life much easier. I also respect their right to dress how they want, though that does not mean that I would want to associate with them.

[joank]

I can respond only for myself but I agree with most here who said they dress to blend in. I remembered a few times I have arrived at the Target parking lot and just felt too over dressed with heels and a skirt. I did not go in.
Other times, when I have been shopping, I have worn woman's jeans, wedgies or flats and a non-descripted top. I also work at having a daytime make-up look which means less eye shadow, more muted colors and bronzer rather than blush.
When I'm going to a nice resturant in the evening, that changes to heels,(no more thant 4 inch) hose and a nice dress or skirt.
Again, I dress to blend and not shock. I work for acceptance even to the point of going un-noticed.

[jenna_woods]

I am right with you girl i always dress my age, and 3'heals is high enought

[sonja]

i think am a drag queen cause the higher the heels the shorter the dress
wild makeup thats all me i like for people to look when i walk in the door LOL
but thats just me i do like going plain sometimes most of the time am going out am going over the top

[Cheryl T]

There are great variations in any culture or group. There are those of us who want nothing more than to blend in and be accepted as the women we feel we are (myself included) and there are those of us who prefer the shock value they achieve by wearing extremes of clothing, hair and makeup.
This is true for GG's also as evidenced in daily life.

Unfortunately, the extremes garner the attention of the masses and that image remains in the minds of the populace. You can see that when someone witnesses a motorcyclist violating either the law of the land or common sense rules. It becomes "another one of THEM". The public generalizes and applies what it sees to all instead of the one.
We suffer from that effect as well.
It's not so much a product of those that prefer exotic outfits and makeup as it is the resulting image that the public applies to all of us due to their ignorance of our culture. It's much simpler to generalize than to learn.

We are all individuals and we cannot attempt to have everyone conform to particular rules of attire, etc. If we do that we lose our individuality and become no better than those who do not wish to accept us, learn from us, learn about us and allow us to be ourselves.


Tough economy...LOL.

[msniki48]

Blending in is not exciting...it doesn't sell.

Why would the mainstream media be interested in the boringly normal heterosexual crossdresser/husband/father/ordinary Joe (or Josephine, as the case may be)? What sells is the excessive, the flamboyant, the risk-taking nonconformist, the exhibitionist, and anything else that they could sell as being on the fringe of society from their audience's perspective!


IMHO

tina

I'm with you on this one. there probably is 10 of us to 1 of them [drag queen] but they sell, so lets say that all dressers are like them

things that make you go Hmmmmmm

[Cathytg]

I agree with your observations. But, what if we were talking about cars or music? I doubt that dressing is much of an issue with us in the eyes of the world. We tend to focus on clothing of course. But I doubt that most other people do.

[suchacutie]

We probably all like, or have liked, dressing a bit more "provocatively" (yes yes, I have the short short skirt in the closet too!). My only point was that the mainstream media would rather film me out and about in a more flamboyant mode than in the "fit in" mode!

But that's true no matter what the gender or sexual persuasion!

tina

[Amberle]

I could never venture out in public in dress: I'm a tall, broad man and utterly unconvincing. It doesn't matter that the 'inner me' is as girly as you like, the 'outer me' is far too butch to be anything other than laughable.

I feel very feminine when dressed in girly garb: I just look a rather silly whilst I'm doing it.

[Rita B]

That is one of the perks of being a crossdresser. . .you can dress like a queen or dress like a ****. . .depending on the mood you are in. it just comes in knowing when to be which.

[Soriya]

In my opinion, acceptance matters most in one place first, the mirror!

Why does it matter what you wear or how much makup you have on? Sure we all want to feel accepted and avoid ridicule and odd looks, heck I reckon we all have felt out of place from being under dressed or over dressed in drab! In a perfect world it shouldn't matter but yes, we live in a scripted society and people will always judge. My thoughts on this type of thing have been changing outside of dressing too on a daily basis. I am learning that those who judge are more then likely throwing stones at glass houses and question their own acceptance.