Has therapist been able to fix most of your problems

[thechic]

Hi there
At the moment im going thought a real bad patch of my life ,The family and that stupid urge to be a woman that is now 24/7 and this is just affecting me in every aspect of life,i just seem to hate my self a lot, the funny thing is i used to be able to control it.work has offered time off my mother wants to have a mother to son or whatever i am talk, my sister checks on me every day to make shore i,m OK this i do appreciate as i do talk to her about things a lot and the doctor has referred me to a therapist related to this type of problem,so i go and see him on the 9th.
Anyway i would like to know if anybody's lives have improved after seeing a therapist or is it just a wast of complete time.

thanks to you all

[minalost]

...It's probably worth checking it out. You never know.

[ellenwannabe]

you are who you are and what you are or hope to be - a therapist might be of assistance if you're honest with them - eventually maybe even a family session might help - best of luck - your sis Ellen

[AllieSF]

I have been to several therapist/counselors regarding relationship issues with some personal things thrown in too. To answer your question quickly, "Yes, they can definitely help". However, they don't fix your problems nor resolve your issues. That is your responsibility. They are there to provide that independent and professional third party assistance to guide you toward resolution. Most will listen and ask questions, maybe recommend some reading or research, and even suggest that you do some homework (exercises with a partner, e.g. talking and listening - for communication issues). To be successful there are some things you need to do, which include being totally open and honest, asking questions when you do not understand or are in doubt about what the therapist tells you, and primarily making sure that you are comfortable with your chosen therapist. If not comfortable, than you should not hesitate to change therapist. It is also important to select a therapist who has experience working with your type of issues.

From what you have written it appears that your mother and sister can see something that concerns them. So, it sounds like you a taking the correct path. I wish you luck in sorting things out.

[DiannaRose]

My therapist has helped me tremendously! She's been working with the LGBT (especially the T) community locally here for more than 20 years, so she's seen and heard a lot.

She has helped (and is still helping) me to understand my feelings and desires, to put my emotions in their proper places, to teach me ways to keep things under control when they threaten to overwhelm me. She has helped my wife to be less afraid of my crossdressing and more receptive to my feelings--whether she understands them or not.

That doesn't mean my therapist is giving me free reign to do whatever I please, but rather she's showing me ways to balance this recently-acknowledged part of me.

If your recommend therapist isn't gender-issue-trained, I'd see if he or she knows of someone who is. My wife's regular therapist (seeing for anxiety issues unrelated to me), tries to give my wife advice about me, but really doesn't get it enough to be of real value in that regard (though she is of great value to my wife in every other area). I just don't want to see you short-changed on something as important as your identity.

If you have other questions you'd prefer not to air in this public forum, feel free to shoot me a private message. I don't have all the answers, but I can tell you about my own thoughts and experiences.

Keep us posted, Geneva! We've got you in our thoughts and prayers!

[Soriya]

Hiya Geneva,

You will get a lot of differing opinions on this subject but please allow me to give you my opinion.

The short answer to "Has a Therapist been able to fix most of your problems" is No. It's not the therapist that will fix your problems, it is you that needs to do that.

I have seen the same therapist for 8 years now, on and off about all aspects of my life. Has is been good for me, absolutely but it was not her who fixed my problems, it was me who did. IMO a good therapist doesn't try to fix your problems, they steer you to the paths you need to walk to answer your own questions. Admittedly it has been hard at times as I have had to face some very uncomfortable things I never dealt with in my life but with her help and guidance, I have been fixing my own problems all along.

IMo also, the important thing in finding a good therapist is finding one you are comfortable with. If you decide to try it, don't be afraid to try different ones if you are not 100% comfortable with the one you are seeing. That is so important for therapy to be effective.

it is a hard path to walk but I am a firm believer in the hardest lessons to learn yeild the most reward.

I hope this helps.

XO

Soriya

[EnglishRose]

If your recommend therapist isn't gender-issue-trained, I'd see if he or she knows of someone who is. My wife's regular therapist (seeing for anxiety issues unrelated to me), tries to give my wife advice about me, but really doesn't get it enough to be of real value in that regard (though she is of great value to my wife in every other area). I just don't want to see you short-changed on something as important as your identity.

I'd like to emphasize this part. Coming out to a regular therapist was very helpful to me, but she can't do that much more in terms of this issue.

[Hope]

The therapist has no magic pills, wands or amulets that will make you better just by showing up at their office every few weeks for a year. What they do have is a map. It is a map to mental and emotional health. They will give you this map (this is what they do) but you have to walk the path.

Wether or not going to the therapist will help to resolve your issues, or be a complete waste of time, is entirely up to you, and wether or not you are willing to do the work.

[Toni_Lynn]

The therapist has no magic pills, wands or amulets that will make you better just by showing up at their office every few weeks for a year.

Oh so very true! About 18 years ago I was about 2 years sober and began exploring another unhealthy addiction -- over-eating. My sister was in alcohol rehab at the time and I spoke with one of her counselors and told her that I was a CDer. She put me in touch with a therapist who specialised in eating disorders in women. It was superb! I could openly talk about crossdressing , wanting to look pretty, and my frustration and not being able to do so because I was getting fat and had a mother who is extremely controlling and has a bigotry about CDing for which I carry the scars (emotional and physical). The result of all this was that Marsha, the therapist, asked questions that helped me to see what was going wrong, helped me to find the strength within to break that chain of abuse, and have me the courage to stand up for the girl within.

Has life been perfect -- hell no! But it got me to a place where I am now married to a woman who accepts me as I am and is my best friend, and have had successes in my life that astound even me. Is binge eating still a problem -- yeah -- when I get all sad and blue nothing beats a quart of Ben and Jerry's. Thank God alcohol isn't.

In short -- yep -- it can help you to find your path

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Veronica Nowakowski]

My therapist has improved my self esteem and helped me out a lot as far as sorting things out. The therapist doesn't make things better, but they do help you make things better. It's best if they are aware of transgender issues in particular and definitely don't stay if they approach it as an illness, which they haven't in decades.

[eileendover]

The therapist doesn't make things better, but they do help you make things better.

The therapist helps you to think about your inner self, and to rethink the way you interpret and handle your relationships and circumstances. You think and act differently about yourself, and that causes others to respond differently.

My therapy was absolutely THE best thing I've gone through.

[lacie]

Opening up “completely” to a therapist could be very healthy and help to alleviate some of those bottled-up-feelings you may have. It’s always different telling your story to a stranger instead of your immediate family. It may give you a totally new perspective that you’ve really never considered. I’d say give it a try. It can’t hurt.

[Sheila]

I had a short therapy course about 18 months ago ............ was the best course I ever did in my entire life ............ if only I had not held those idiotic misconceptions about therapy and therapists for years my life may have been very very different ............. but there again I might not ever have ended up meeting the wonderful person I am now married to either.

If you do go please be open and honest with them, they can't help if oyu are not, and believe me it will be hard .............. they will not "FIX" your problems, but they will help you look at things, how you got there, what YOU can do to alter things/situations in the future, they will HELP you to recognize situations before they arise, but again only if you are open and honest not just with them but with yourself, good luck

[VikkiVixen7188]

Life is too short to be miserable. So anything that could possibly help is worth exploring.

[Stephenie S]

Yup, yup, and yup.

Therapists don't fix problems, they help YOU see how to fix your own problems.

They can be amazingly helpful or a waste of time. Open up and tell all or you might as well stay home and watch TV.

Stephie

[msniki48]

Geneva,

I have been to a therapist for over 8 yrs. She has been wonderful for me. As everyone has said, you must be forthcoming and honest. she helped to point out what was going on when i felt certain ways. she didn't cure anything, but showed me a way to see it in a different light, and how i could deal with it if i chose to. If you feel the way you describe..[as i did also]. a therapist is thr right choice. also: if the 1st one isn't clicking, don't get turned off to therapy. make sur the therapist is trained in this area and that you feel very comfortable.

hugs, and best of luck hun.

keep us informed of your progress, because you will make progress...and not always in the way you think

[Tomara]

Hi Geneva
I have to agree with all of the others that have stated that it is YOU who has to fix your problems and a therapist will guide you along the way.
YOU do have to be willing to do some hard work , be honest about your feelings and most of all be true to yourself.
Good luck with getting to where you want to be.
Tomara